by Lacey Silks
That was bull. She might not have remembered it when she first came to consciousness, but she did afterward. I knew she had nightmares; that did not surprise me. But to sit on the bed with her eyes open in the middle of the night, terrified to breathe — that was unacceptable. I jumped off the bed and went to the washroom to get a towel.
“Take the shirt off,” I said. “And grab a fresh one.”
She pulled it over her head and I dried her before changing the drenched covers and sheets. Zoey sat on an ottoman, watching me. Her brows scrunched as if she were trying to remember what had happened. She lifted her hand and traced her fingers over her lips, then slowly covered her mouth as she gasped. She remembered, all right.
By the time I was done, so much had gone through my head that I wasn’t sure where to start. It was only three in the morning, and part of me wanted to go back to sleep, but I wasn’t about to take a chance that Zoey would have a relapse. I sat down beside her, pulled her against my body, and stroked her head. “Do you want to tell me about it now?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s about Infinity, isn’t it?”
She nodded.
“You don’t have to be afraid when you’re with me. You don’t have to be afraid at all from now on. I’ll take care of you.”
“I’m not afraid of them. I’m not scared of what they’ll do. I can deal with any of that shit.”
Knowing the types of requests that came from Infinity members, I cringed. No one should have to be subjected to any of it, nor have to deal with it.
“I’d zone out, you know. When they rap… when they took… I’d just pretend that I was somewhere else so that I could forget as much as possible later on when I went home to Jules.”
Her gaze lifted and her eyes connected with mine. I’d do anything to prove to her that she’d never be touched that way again.
“At home in my room, when I had a few precious hours of peace on my own, I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to waste my time thinking about them. I pretended they didn’t exist. It was the only fraction of freedom I had left. I think the nightmares are a way for my consciousness to let go.”
Even that did not sound normal to me. And those weren’t just nightmares. They were manifestations of the horror she had lived through.
“Then what are you afraid of? What can I do to help?”
“I’m afraid I’ll go one day and I won’t come back. Going to a job and never seeing the little piece of my life I have left scares me. Call it a hunch, but I think that Harper has it in for me. The jobs—they’ve gotten worse and worse. And more frequent. It’s like they’ve been preparing me for something. And I fear that unknown. I’m afraid that one day, I’ll wake up and never see my own apartment or my family again.”
Shivers ran through her body and I wrapped my arms around her, cradling her frailness against me. It pained me that Zoey still spoke as if she would be called for another job, but I guessed it would take time for her to know the same truth I did: that unless it was from Craig Harper himself, she’d never answer another call from Infinity again.
“Tell me about the nightmares,” I whispered against her hair.
She twisted in my arms and looked at me wide-eyed, as if I were crazy.
“I’m serious. Tell me every detail, Zoey.”
“Why?”
“Because you need to get it off your chest. I don’t want you dealing with this on your own.”
“It’s not pretty.” She lowered her head in shame, and my heart felt like it had been sliced through.
“I don’t expect it to be pretty.”
I waited patiently, watching the little debate that was going on inside her heard, hoping she’d trust me enough to tell me. She lowered my hands off her arms and pulled the fresh duvet around her body. Once she was comfortable, she leaned back against the headboard and brought her knees up to her chest.
“I’m usually in a room without doors. I don’t know how I got there, but I know that I can’t get out. I never see a face. Faceless men come for their service, one at a time. They appear out of nowhere. I don’t want to do it, because even if I finish the job, there’s no way out. There’s no exit. Once I’m done with one, he’ll disappear – but another faceless man will be waiting in his place, and it just starts all over again. And it will never end.”
In the dim room, Zoey’s eyes took on a darker shade. A spark of terror faded in and out. Her gaze focused on a little spot across the bedroom. I struggled on the inside to give her the space she needed and to stay put when my body was so drawn to her. I just wanted to hold her, to take away all that pain I saw roll through her body.
“They don’t care if I’m hurting. I can’t feel my arms or legs. I detach myself from what I think is real and let my body do the work they want. I try to take my mind far away from that box they’ve trapped me in, but I realize that my mind has been trapped as well. It’s in a void of nothingness, because when I try to think of a happy place, I can’t. I don’t believe in happy anymore. I will never have it because I gave my life to them. My choices have been stolen. My future is only as certain as the next Infinity member who will appear in that box. I’ve become a live ghost. There’s nothing else for me to do in the box without an exit. So I hold my breath for as long as I can. I want to pass out. I want to die. Pain pierces through my lungs. My chest aches from the tightness, and it feels good. It feels so good that tears begin to drip down my cheeks, and I can feel it ending. I can feel my life fading away as I drift into numbness. It feels final, which is better than feeling the disgust and anguish while I’m alive. I can feel death looming over me, and it makes me happy because it will finally be the end. It gets foggy for a moment, and I can’t wait to fall over. I don’t have the strength to stand and happily slump to the floor. I’m almost there, right at that threshold of passing out, but my body betrays me. It’s desperate for oxygen, and so I take the air in, disappointed that I can’t die. And then it starts all over again. It’s a loop of pain and torture. It’s infinite.”
Just like the company’s name.
I didn’t even know what to say to her, and so I cuddled up beside her and lifted her away from the headboard to take her back into my arms. Despite the tight grasp I had around her, I said, “I don’t ever want you to feel trapped again.”
“I’m not sure that’s even possible.” Her voice was so weak and sad; it sounded like she had no fight left inside her.
I wished I could snap my fingers and this nightmare would be over. Better yet, I wished I could take Zoey to a faraway land that would be the total opposite of her nightmares. Even then, it would take a while for her to gain back any confidence in humanity. How do you recover after being treated worse than an animal? You don’t.
“It’s just stupid dreams,” she whispered.
“Dreams that make you doubt everything you know and that steal your faith in humanity aren’t stupid, Zoey. I just wish I could have done more for you. I wish I had known sooner.”
She lifted her head and looked at me. That’s when I saw that spark in her eyes that had drawn me to her in that hospital hallway six years ago. I’d been thinking about the same one every day since then. No matter what troubles Zoey faced, the resolve and unbreakable spirit she had always shone through. She had more strength than she realized, and more courage than any superhero. She had saved her sister from Infinity, and despite knowing what it meant for her, she’d do it all over again if she had to.
“How many girls work for Infinity?” she asked.
“Just over two thousand around New York alone. Then there are other branches that are shady, but my brother’s taking care of that.”
“Which brother?”
“Axel. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
She got lost in her thoughts for a moment, and I eased the pressure of my arms around her, wondering what was going through her mind. She appeared to be going through some sort of inner struggle. Her shoulders lifted and her jaw tens
ed. Zoey shook her head for a moment and tightened her lips. With a strong and newfound resolve, she finally said, “I won’t let them win. I can’t. If I go down, I’m taking Harper with me.”
I had never been more proud of anyone in my life. She was the epitome of courage. She was the perfect woman for this job, and I would make sure that she never felt like a nobody again: abused, betrayed, and forgotten.
“You’re amazing.” I kissed her. Her sensuous lips responded with need, her hands gently stroking over my thighs, making me hard for her again. When I pulled away, I traced my hand over her beautiful face, trying to memorize every inch of her. Hell, I didn’t really need to try. It was the same face that had been in my dreams ever since I’d left her six years ago. I wasn’t sure what it was that drew me to her. She had that hypnotic way of looking into my eyes, as if she were looking straight into my soul. As if she understood why I had to pay a penance over the past six years — for everything I’d done and for everything I hadn’t.
“Zoey, if you ever need to let it go – cry or hit or… whatever – I’m here for you. I don’t care if you break my nose or chip a tooth.”
She cupped her hand around my cheek, saying, “And ruin that handsome face of yours?”
“I mean it.”
“Thank you. I may take you up on that crying part.” She chuckled nervously. “Just promise me you’ve got my back. Whatever happens with Infinity, promise me that I can trust you.”
“I promise, babe. Of course I do. And of course you can trust me.”
“I’ll still be afraid. It’s impossible not to be. But I won’t let go of the hope. I will always keep that end target in my mind because you’re the first sparkle of light I’d seen in that closed off box in two years. Infinity must be destroyed.”
“And after everything is done, I’ll take you far away from here, just the two of us.”
“There’s still going to be an ‘us’?”
“Of course.”
“How can you be you so sure? How do you still want me after what my body has been put through? After so many men have touched me?”
The mental image of what she implied would always hurt, but my pain was nothing compared to the torment she had experienced.
“A body is physical. It can heal, and it will heal. I will kiss away that pain inch by inch. I will caress every single spot on your skin until you only remember my lips on you. I’m more concerned about what’s happening here” – I palmed my hand over her heart – “and here” – then pointed to her head. “Because no one can have this without your permission, and if I’m lucky enough to have that part of you, then nothing else matters. You’re the most courageous person I have ever met. You keep me focused on what’s important in life.”
“You’ve done pretty well with focus on your own. I mean, look at you. You’ve changed your life around so much. You used to run a mobster operation with your father, and now you’re the one fighting the bad guys.”
“I wouldn’t call it ‘mobster,’ but was it illegal? Hell, yes. But those days are over.”
Now I just had to make everything right again.
“I’m so proud of you,” she said.
“Ditto, Tink.” I checked my messages. It was perfect timing. “Emma’s in town in two days. We can finally get this thing over with, and you can begin to heal.”
“I hope you’re right. I really do.”
“But?”
“But what if you’re wrong? What if it doesn’t work?”
“It has to. There are no other options, babe. It has to work.”
She leaned against my chest and let out a heavy sigh. For a brief moment, it felt like she would just let go of the world she’d been holding up on her shoulders, and I wondered how long that would last. I wondered how long it would take before Zoey would carry that entire burden again, but for now it didn’t matter. Tonight, I’d let her lean on me and bear her burden. It was the least I could do because as soon as we joined forces with Cross Enterprises, we would be playing with the big boys. We were about to step into a hurricane of mobsters who weren’t ready to give up their billion-dollar businesses.
Chapter 15
Zoey
Sitting at the table in Emma’s conference room, I felt like Alice in Wonderland who had just finished a Drink Me potion. If I slouched any lower, I would disappear under the table that seemed to stretch for miles. Was it just me, or did everyone here look like they belonged, like they knew what they were doing? Maybe that was a good thing, because I was clueless.
This wasn’t even their main office; we were meeting at an undisclosed location of Cross Enterprises. When I first walked into the mansion, I thought it was a mistake. The pillars, marble, mirrors and paintings overwhelmed me. Yet it all fit together and worked well. I wondered whose house this was.
Ace sat beside me, gently pressing on my leg each time my knees bounced. I hadn’t even touched my coffee, and eating any of the pastries set in front of us was definitely out of the question. I might have had good intentions the night before, when I’d pictured squashing Craig Harper under my thumb, but now I was beginning to feel like I was the bug and about to be trapped in a sticky spider web. What had I been thinking? Infinity was huge. They had people everywhere. What if one of them was here? What if they had infiltrated Cross Enterprises? I was afraid I would throw up the minute Emma Cross walked into the room. This was it. It had been three weeks since I’d run into Ace at the hotel room, and we were finally going to find out the plan to destroy Craig Harper.
“Stop being so nervous. You’ll be fine.”
Fine? Wine was fine. I was a total mess of nerves combined with whatever else could stir my stomach so much.
The other night, at Ace’s new condo, I’d had the most amazing night of my life. Despite the nightmare and my revelation about the depths to which I knew Infinity had scarred me, I felt whole because of Ace and his conviction to help. It must have been around five in the morning when we finally fell asleep on the couch, me in his arms and both of us snuggled underneath a blanket, pressed skin to skin. It was the best feeling ever. He kept me caged in the safety of his hold until the sun begun to rise, and I finally closed my eyes while listening to the beating of his heart.
And now we were here. I looked around the conference room. The whiteboard on the right was filled with photographs of girls. Some had a red X through them while others appeared to be waiting for that thick marker to strike through them as well. I wondered what had happened to them. What was their story? Did they overdose? Was it suicide? Or worse, murder?
Couldn’t each one of them be as lucky and have an Ace of their own?
Then there were the countless monitors of maps and streaming videos from what I assumed were hidden cameras. I recognized the ones from the hotel where I’d run into Ace. One screen in particular caught my attention: a red dot faded in and out at a map’s intersection. The crossroads looked familiar.
“That’s your tracker. You’re supposedly at home now.” Ace must have noticed my curiosity. He took my hand underneath the table and squeezed it. “Don’t worry, Zoey. These people know what they’re doing. You’re safe.”
I smoothed my finger over the healed ripple on my arm where my tracking device used to be. When I was with Ace, it didn’t seem to bother me that I’d given Infinity the number one reason to kill me. But when alone, I was afraid someone would put a bag over my head and drag me out of my apartment in the middle of the night and stuff me into that exit-less box.
At least Ace was confident. I’d thought I knew what I was doing when I joined Infinity, except that hadn’t turned out so well for me. Why had it seemed at the time like the group was a simple exclusive escort service? But it didn’t matter. They could have told me they were human traffickers, and I would have still joined just to save my sister.
“Wait, what if they come to my house? I’m not there.” Shouldn’t I have thought about that before? Jesus, what was wrong with me? Would they go after Jules if they
found out I no longer had my tracker? Had I jeopardized Julia’s safety already? My knee picked up its bounce again.
“They won’t. They haven’t been on your profile in three weeks. Gabe is tracking it twenty-four hours a day.”
At the mention of his name, the older gentleman, who looked quite handsome for his age, picked up his head. “I’ll get an alert if they do. My men are ready to get you anytime, should there be a need to have you in a specific place.”
I had people following me? Had I been too oblivious and not noticed anything odd? Or were they just that good? I hoped it was the latter.
“So, what’s been happening for the past three weeks? Why haven’t they requested me?”
“I bought you out.”
“You what?”
“I bought out your services and requested not to be contacted. That’s why it’s been quiet. I’m expecting you to get a call soon.” Ace squeezed my hand underneath the table.
“But they haven’t told me about you.”
“We paid big money for Infinity to agree to this. They insisted you wouldn’t comply because of the rules. We said we wanted to try. I reported to them this morning, telling them that you had followed all the rules, and no matter how hard I tried to hit on you, it didn’t work. According to Infinity, you’ve been one of their most loyal girls.”
“Oh. And they believed it?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that’s stupid,” I said under my breath. “You’re gorgeous.”
Ace chuckled. “Are you saying I’m irresistible?”
“Pretty much.” I smiled, for a moment forgetting where we were.
Gabe cleared his throat, saying, “You have nothing to worry about, Zoey. We’re on top of it. And once we upload the virus, you’ll be free.”
“Virus?”
“Yes; it will turn off all the trackers. That will give us some time to plan our next move.”
“When are you uploading?”
“If all goes well, it’ll be ready within the hour. It’s been in the works for a while, but breaking through Infinity’s firewall has not been easy.”