“Right. That one. She’s been plum crazy about it since high school. Even played the dragon princess at Paul’s opening. Alice went as Elizabeth Barrett Browning but that’s another story.”
“Aalyea, the dragon queen,” Austin supplied, fighting back a laugh and making a note to ask Alice about that particular choice in cosplay characters.
“Uh huh, Aalyea, with the long blond hair. She used to dye it then. Way down her back. Always had some crazy style, Charlie did.” Bix was smiling at the memory, but a sadness passed over his face. “Alice is real worried about her. She hasn’t been the same this summer. I don’t mean her hair. Or those funny gaming shirts she used to wear.” He chewed his lip for a moment, thinking. “She’s lost her sparkle. Girls like Charlie light up the room when they walk in, they make everybody sit up and take notice. They make friends everywhere, as natural as can be.”
Austin pointed out a planter in front of an antiques shop and they stepped around it. He’d known a girl like that. Everywhere she went, people turned to smile at her. He’d been so proud to be near her, even if she insisted on keeping their relationship a secret. He thought of the first time he’d met Charlie and the way she’d given him a dark look, then turned her back. Certainly not lighting up the room and most definitely not interested in making friends.
“I wish you could find out what the trouble is. In my gut, I feel like something real bad happened to her but she won’t talk to any of us.” Bix looked up at him, perfect confidence behind those thick glasses. “You’re good at that. Drawing people out. Helping ‘em come to peace with it. Solving their problems.”
Austin swallowed hard. He didn’t know why everyone had gotten the idea he was such a miracle worker. Probably because he’d never denied it. His stomach twisted. It was past time he was honest. But that would include going back, way back to the beginning and if he did that, he would lose everything he had. His job, his new place, even his degree.
“We’re here,” Bix said, surprise coloring his words as Austin almost steered him past the turn of the century, two story wooden house with the wrap around porch.
“Sorry,” he murmured and helped Bix up the wide steps.
“I can smell it already,” Bix said, sniffing the air. “Mmmm. Nothin’ like my Ruby’s cooking. I woulda married her for that, even if she didn’t make me feel like a whole new man. After my first wife died, God rest her soul, I thought I’d never feel that passion again. I resolved myself to livin’ life like an old priest. But she made my blood warm in a way―”
“Oh, look, Gideon and Henry are already here,” Austin said hurriedly. Even his parents didn’t talk about their love life. Good grief. If he hadn’t sworn off women already, Bix’s speech might just do it.
Bix pulled open the old screen door and waved Austin inside. He stepped into the comfortable living room and inhaled the scent of good southern cooking. Spices, greens, and hot oil. All good meals started there.
Henry looked up from where she was standing near the piano and blinked in surprise. “Hey there, Austin. I didn’t know you were coming.” There was a hint of something in her tone and he glanced around. Charlie was nowhere in sight.
“I had to drag him here by his ear,” Bix said as he hung his hat on the coatrack near the front door. He crossed to the hallway, navigating the living room easily. “I’m goin’ to change for dinner. You all just make yourself comfortable.”
Gideon appeared in the entryway to the kitchen. “Glad you came,” he said. He moved forward, hands at his sides. Austin always had the feeling that Gideon wanted to hug him but didn’t know exactly whether he should. Austin held out his hand and Gideon took it, smiling that rare smile of his, now less rare since he’d married Henry. He still carried a subtle sort of quality, some kind of wariness, that made most people think twice about approaching. Austin knew that Gideon still carried guilt about the way he’d left their family when he’d gone to prison, but for Austin he was simply someone who’d been returned to them after a long absence. His parents said their family was now complete, all the boys together, all their sons now upright citizens, happy and successful. Austin didn’t have the heart to correct them.
“How’s the database coming along?” Austin asked, glancing past Gideon toward the kitchen. He hoped he could talk to Charlie before dinner. Sitting down at the table with everything unsaid would take the flavor right from the food.
“Excellent.” He put his arm around Henry, who’d come to stand beside him. “We’ve done a few test runs and I think we’re getting pretty close to going live.” He looked into her eyes, admiration and respect as palpable as the humidity coming from the kitchen. “Even after losing half the collection in the fire, this is still the biggest historical database of Cane River history ever created. All the photos, records, land deeds, sales, baptisms, marriages, letters, birth and death records of the Cane River Creole people, slave and free in one place. It will bring our culture to the world.”
“Sounds wonderful.” Austin felt a glow of pride. This was his family, dedicated to preserving the fascinating history and faith of their people. The glow faded as he thought of Alice’s words about books being weapons in the fight to preserve their culture and how the people around him were doing their best to uphold their end of the bargain.
“How’s everything over at the juvenile justice center? Cora tells me you’re the favorite counselor there.” Pride colored Gideon’s words.
“Oh, right, it’s going really well.” He could tell them how Cora had read him that nice letter but then he’d have to skip over the part where he was sure she was firing him.
“Stressful?” Henry asked. A little frown line had appeared between her brows.
“Not really. The kids are great.” Not stressful except for how he was never quite sure what he was supposed to do or say. All he did was parrot back his textbooks.
There was concern in her eyes now. “You’re pretty close to their age, aren’t you? Is that ever an issue?”
Austin thought of the kids who slumped in the chair across from his desk and mumbled out their life story. He was supposed to be the good guy, the one who could pass judgement on whether they could graduate the program or go back on probation. Most days it felt like he was on the wrong side of the desk. “Age? No. I don’t think they see us similar at all.”
“Of course not,” Gideon said, dismissing the idea.
Henry said nothing, her gaze slipping past him to focus on a painting above the couch. Austin felt a bit of relief. He liked Henry. She was clever, compassionate, and she loved Gideon with everything in her. But she made Austin feel like she was looking into his soul.
“Let me take that,” Gideon said, reaching past Austin.
He turned and came face to face with Charlie. She was holding a stack of plates. Her expression said that Austin was the last person she expected to see, and not in a good way. She handed over the plates to Gideon and then retreated back into the kitchen without a word.
“I’ll go see if she needs any help,” Henry said and walked past Austin, leaving him to watch Gideon set the table and feel like the biggest jerk in the world. Somehow he needed to talk to her before they sat across each other in this cozy little family dinner. He didn’t think he could choke down the food while Charlie glared at him, even if it was Ruby’s famous blackened catfish.
Chapter Seven
We are not hypocrites in our sleep. ―William Hazlett
“We’re almost all finished in here, sha.” Ruby brushed back her curly white hair and hung up the damp tea towel on the peg by the fridge. The window above the sink was open but the kitchen was still twenty degrees hotter than the rest of the house. “Why don’t you go let them know we’re just waiting on this next batch of biscuits.”
Charlie nodded but didn’t move. She really wished she could figure out a way to escape and skip the dinner. Her stomach felt like it had curled up against her spine, it was so empty, but she still would take the ramen noodles over making con
versation with Austin. If only she lied more easily, she could tell Ruby she had a head ache and had to go home. Of course, knowing Ruby, she’d insist Charlie lay down in their bedroom with a cold rag and then would check on her every five minutes. She was stuck. All she could hope for was kitty corner seating, far enough apart they didn’t have to make eye contact.
“Anything I can do to help?” Henry appeared in the doorway and surveyed the kitchen with wide eyes. “Goodness. You two have really worked hard in here.”
Ruby beamed at the compliment. “Charlie sure was a help. I thought I’d be teaching her but she might have taught me a few things.”
Charlie snorted. Ruby wasn’t fooling anyone. She had seventy years of cooking on her side and Charlie could barely recall how to sautee the collard greens.
“We’ve got some hungry men out there. I hope we done made enough,” Ruby said.
Charlie glanced over the pan of biscuits, steaming collard greens, mashed potatoes and gravy, a plate piled with fresh corn on the cob, pots of peach jam and chow chow, and the long platter of blackened catfish right from the oven. “I can’t imagine they can eat all of this.”
“Oh, you’d be surprised,” Henry said. “I was in shock the first time I saw Gideon put away a plate of hash browns and country ham at The Red Hen. I think Nita gave him more than the usual serving anyway, but he still ate it and acted like there was room to spare.”
Ruby peeked inside the oven and said, “A few more minutes. I’ll go put out the honey and butter.”
“Let me,” Henry started to say but Ruby waved her away. “Watch the biscuits, you two. I’ll be right back.”
Charlie opened the drawer and pulled out a stack of cloth napkins. “Bix refuses to use paper napkins.” She wasn’t sure why she offered that information.
“Thanks for working so hard in here. You probably would rather be home relaxing.”
She looked up in surprise. “No, it was real sweet of Ruby to invite me over to cook. My parents moved to Florida last spring and…” She dropped her gaze to the catfish on the platter. She didn’t want to say she was lonely. That wasn’t quite right. “It’s nice to have dinner with family. They’re not, of course. Not my family. But they’re like family.”
“I know what you mean,” Henry said and the look in her eyes said that she knew how it was to be lonely for that kind of meal. It was the kind of meal where nobody could finish a sentence and food was always being passed right under your nose. The kind of meal where food was cooked from scratch and you were lucky if you got seconds. Maybe the greens cooked a little too long or the biscuits didn’t rise just right or the catfish burned a little when the cooks got chatting, but it was better than anything out of a box. “Nice that Austin could come, too,” Henry said.
“Yep,” Charlie said, eyes still on the platter.
“He seems as uncomfortable as you are.”
She grimaced. Henry had always given Charlie the impression she could see past the words and get right to the truth. Now she knew that impression was a certainty. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing. Just ignore us.”
“Sort of hard to ignore when he looks like he’s going to face a firing squad and you’re hiding in the kitchen.” Her tone was kind. She moved out of the doorway and leaned against the old farmhouse sink. “He’s a nice guy.”
Charlie nodded. Everyone knew that. It was all she heard.
“I haven’t known him that long, only about a year, but I know he’s one of those people that really cares,” Henry said. “In a world where you can’t seem to really trust anybody, he’s someone you could turn to, if you ever needed help.”
She looked up, frowning. Was Henry hinting that Charlie needed to confide in this genius of counseling? There was nothing he could do, even if she wanted to spill all her secrets. She moved across the kitchen, feeling like she needed to see Henry’s face. The conversation from the living room filtered down the hall and she recognized Ruby’s giggle. “It’s not what you think. I don’t have a problem with Austin at all. Everyone has told me how amazing he is, and I agree. He’s cute, has a great job, and doesn’t seem like an axe murderer.”
Charlie crossed her arms over her chest and went on, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. “That doesn’t mean that we have to be shoved together at every opportunity. Everyone can quit with the matchmaking. Austin wouldn’t give me a second glance. As for me, I’m completely uninterested in him. Completely, totally, absolutely uninterested.” She heard a noise behind her, the smallest sound that might be someone taking a sharp breath in irritation, or maybe getting ready to give someone a piece of his mind. She closed her eyes. She was pretty sure it wasn’t Ruby coming back to check on the biscuits.
“I’ll just go put out these napkins,” Henry said and grabbed the pile off the counter. Brushing past Charlie, she gave her an awkward little smile.
Turning around, Charlie found herself with nothing to say to Austin for the second time that evening. His hands were in his pockets but he was standing tall. She’d let herself imagine him as a guy who had every advantage and asked for more. The kind of guy who blocked everyone else who tried to join in the fun. A guy like Tyler. Even thinking his name hurt, although it didn’t hurt as much as it used to, back when he’d first broken her heart.
“I’m sorry,” Austin said.
She waited for the rest of the apology. It usually wasn’t so simple, but turned the burden of the argument back on her. I’m sorry you got your feelings hurt. I’m sorry you got offended. I’m sorry you’re so sensitive.
She waited but he didn’t say anything more. He looked at her, regret in his eyes.
“No, I’m sorry,” she said. Now he’d agree with her, reminding her how she’d jumped to conclusions and accused him of things he hadn’t done.
“I acted like a jerk. I shouldn’t have unloaded all of that on you.”
For a moment, Charlie didn’t know what to say. She didn’t remember any unloading, just her own tears of frustration and angry words. The oven beeped and she grabbed a pot holder from the hook. The biscuits were perfectly browned and she set the pan on the stove top, turning off the oven.
Slowing turning to face him, she felt as if she were standing on a cliff’s edge. It was silly. They weren’t pledging their undying love. She was simply going to ask him if they could try to start over. But opening herself up, even in that most inconsequential way, made her stomach drop. Trusting anyone, ever again, seemed to be a monumental act of courage.
He spoke first. “Listen, I know everyone has been preaching at you that I’m some kind of perfect person, but I’m really not. Just… really, really not.” He let out a grunt of frustration. “They’ve got blinders on, all of them. They see me as the little brother, the guy next door. But I’m just doing the best I can, like everybody else.”
“So, you’re telling me you’re not perfect?”
“No, pas de betise.” He raised one hand in the air like a boy scout. No joke. It was odd hearing Creole coming out of his mouth. Charlie had forgotten Austin wasn’t a stranger to Cane River.
“Well, that’s a disappointment. I was about to send my respects to Mama Becket for raising up such a genius.”
“Don’t forget Daddy Becket for raising such a morally upstanding citizen.”
“If you’re not perfect, don’t tell Father Tom. Your brother thinks you’re practically canonized. You won’t even have to die before they make you a saint.”
Austin hung his head for a moment. “You can’t imagine what it’s like when everybody thinks you’re infallible.”
She almost rolled her eyes but then thought of how it felt when the whole world thought she was guilty. As many times as she tried to defend herself, the trolls shouted her down, silencing every avenue. Soon, every friend went quiet, afraid to be a target. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as what had happened to Charlie, but she could see how living under those impossible kinds of expectations could drive a person batty. Or, at least, drive them to rant at a
total stranger about their job.
She wasn’t sure what prompted her but she held out her hand before she thought it through. “Friends?”
He took it. “We’re led little by little to the truth.”
Her mouth dropped open a bit. “Did you just quote Journey to the Center of the Earth?”
“Science, my lad, is made up of mistakes, but they are mistakes which it is useful to make, because they lead―”
“Little by little to the truth.” Charlie let her hand fall from his. Jules Verne had written so much wisdom into his books that Charlie read them over every few years, and each time she gleaned something new to carry with her back into the world. Austin took one line and applied to their friendship. It had started in mistakes, but useful ones that brought them to a real understanding. Without those mistakes, they might never have shared more than chit chat. “I’d better take the biscuits off the pan,” she said and turned back to the stove.
“I’ll carry a few bowls to the table.” Somewhere behind her she could hear him taking the potholder off the hook and then after a few moments his footsteps faded down the hallway.
Charlie paused over the biscuit pan, spatula in her hand. She was lonely. She already knew that. And Austin was blessed with an easy manner and good looks. It was completely natural to feel some connection to him.
That was what she told herself, repeating the words until she believed them, until she forgot how she’d felt a familiar mix of emotion expanding in her chest. Affection, yearning, the need for someone to call her own. Picking up the spatula, Charlie flipped the biscuits into the little basket as quickly as possible. It was simply human nature to yearn for it. Nothing more, nothing less.
Chapter Eight
Only Through Love: A Cane River Romance Novella Page 6