A laugh filtered through the happy fog in her brain and she reluctantly pulled back. “I think― I’m guessing we shouldn’t be kissing right here in front of everybody.”
“Who’s everybody?” he murmured and didn’t even bother to turn around.
She couldn’t resist one more kiss and then with a sigh, said, “You know, the entire town of Natchitoches.”
“Tourists,” he said, but dropped his hands, giving her mouth one last glance.
“And Father Tom,” she said.
He whirled around. His brother was standing on the sidewalk a few feet away and looked as if he’d paused mid-step. An older couple grumbled as they detoured around him.
“Well, this is interesting,” Father Tom said as he walked over. He looked like the cat who’d eaten the canary. “Should I pretend I didn’t see you? Or do you want to pretend that didn’t happen in front of me as I was innocently minding my own business?”
Charlie’s face had gone hot. Nothing like getting caught kissing by the parish priest, and the guy you’re kissing is his little brother. If there was accepted etiquette for that situation, she didn’t know what it was. “Um, we can― you should―”
“He’s kidding,” Austin said. He shot Tom a look that might have contained a threat but she wasn’t sure. “Nobody’s pretending anything.”
“Great. I’m headed into By the Book. We can announce your new dating status to our friends and then there won’t be any hard feelings.”
“Hard feelings?”
“You know, for the people who are out of the loop and find out these important things last. On the sidewalk.” Father Tom gave Austin his most innocent look.
“Funny. And if I’d known you were so interested in my love life, I’d have kept you more up to date.”
“Love, is it?” He beamed at Charlie. “Well, congratulations and welcome to the family.”
Austin rolled his eyes skyward. “I’m going to tell mom.”
“Yes, please do. She’ll want to know why you haven’t offered to bring Charlie home for dinner yet.” Father Tom seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much. “It was bad enough when Gideon got engaged and she’d clapped eyes on Henry only a few weeks before.”
Charlie caught sight of Austin’s face and started to laugh. “Oh, don’t worry. I know he’s kidding.” She looped her arm through his. “Let’s go inside. No announcing, no more teasing.”
He let himself be pulled along, but not without shooting Father Tom another narrow-eyed look. “Good idea.”
Austin opened the glass front door and waved her inside. Charlie was tempted to look back and see if the brothers exchanged any other nonverbal communication. Several customers stood at the main counter, where Alice was ringing up their purchases. Bix had tissue at the ready to wrap and secure their vintage books, then put them in long-handled paper bags.
Charlie looked around for Aurora and just as she decided the little girl was finally taking a long nap in the play pen, Paul walked out of the back room. The baby was in his arms, facing forward, watching the store with large dark eyes. Charlie smiled as she read the white print on her tiny blue T-shirt. I party with Jay Gatsby.
“Isn’t that a little suggestive for a four mouth old? Gatsby wasn’t exactly the kind of guy you’d want your daughter to date.”
“I agree. But I thought it fit her mood this week.” Paul smiled but he looked weary. “No wonder Alice is tired. I’ve only been walking her for an hour and my arms are aching.”
“You need one of those baby wraps. Or a snuggly. You strap them in and then you can use your hands.” Charlie made a mental note to look up the reviews on line as soon as she got a chance.
“Good idea. Make sure it’s in a manly color. I don’t want to be wearing a pink flowered sheet tied around my torso. Even if it does hold Miss Invictus.”
“Invictus?”
“I am the master of my soul, the captain of my fate. Invictus, the poem by William Ernest Henley. Definitely her mood today.” As tired as he was, Paul’s love for Aurora was tangible.
Charlie saw that Father Tom and Austin had stopped at the desk to talk to Bix. She swallowed, gathering her courage. “Paul, I was wondering if I could come see you at the new headquarters tomorrow?”
His brows went up. “Are you taking the job? I meant what I said. We could really use a programmer like you.”
“I definitely want to look around.” That was true. “You could tell me about the projects you have in the works.” She wanted to take those words back. The last thing she needed was to have insider knowledge of all their projects. If anything leaked out, he wouldn’t think she was innocent twice.
“You’ve got it.” He seemed happier than she’d seen him in a while. “Nine a good time? I could make it earlier but I have a meeting. And you’re coming to dinner at Gideon’s place after Mass, right? Let it all settle and then we can talk more about it then.”
Charlie felt unease slide through her. By Sunday, Paul and Alice might not be speaking to her. “Sure, but I don’t want to take over the party. I don’t need much time. Just a―”
He scoffed. “Take over the party? I’ll be thrilled to have someone other than Andy to talk to about work.”
He was already assuming she’d take the job. Maybe he didn’t know she’d written that virus. Maybe it really would be a terrible surprise. The thought of seeing Paul’s anger and disappointment made her rethink whether Austin’s plan right. She could lose everything and everyone… again.
As she was changing her mind, Ruby through the back door, basket in hand. She waved, smiling brightly. “Look, sha, I brought you a basket of goodies. I just hate the thought of you in that ugly little apartment, eating food out of a box.”
“Which apartment?” Paul asked, frowning.
“It’s… not that ugly,” Charlie said.
“Bonnie Jean’s cousin Judy has an uncle who has a girlfriend who lives there. She says it’s more depressing than the evening news. And smelly. “ Ruby plunked the basket in Charlie’s arms. “Here, fresh biscuits and gravy. The little Tupperware is pork sausage gravy, just made it myself about an hour ago. It’ll keep a few days.”
“We should help you look for a different place. You shouldn’t have to live in a dump.” Paul looked concerned for her welfare, as if she wasn’t a full grown woman.
“Oh, that smells amazing.” She didn’t answer Paul, plucking a biscuit from under the patterned kitchen towel. “And they’re still warm.”
“Do I smell biscuits?” Father Tom was suddenly at her elbow, eyeing the basket.
“Not for you,” Ruby said, laughing. “And I know you make great biscuits. Leave the poor girl alone.”
“Mmm, Tom can, but I can’t. I’m a terrible cook.” Austin was at her other elbow, giving his best puppy dog eyes.
Charlie pulled back the towel. “They’re warm. Take one. I can’t possibly eat them all.” She pushed the basket toward Father Tom, then Austin, then Paul. Maybe everyone would stop talking about her apartment and no one would ask why she was renting over there in the first place.
“Oh, you. What a soft heart.” Ruby tried to look as if she disapproved but she couldn’t quite manage it.
“Ruby, you brought biscuits?” Alice came forward, inhaling. “They smell like they just came out of the oven.”
“Here,” Charlie said, offering her one. “And for Aurora?”
“Oh, no―,” Alice started to say.
“Sure, she loves―,” Paul said at the same time.
“―she’s too little.”
“―a bite of biscuit.”
They looked at each other and there was an awkward moment where Charlie didn’t know whether Alice was going to laugh or cry. “Well, it looks like Aurora’s been enjoying a few culinary delights while I get the store opened up in the morning.”
“She really likes strawberries,” Paul said.
“I knew it,” Charlie cried. “She always smells like strawberries.”
“And maybe that’s why her tummy hurts,” Alice said, giving Paul a look.
“Oh. I never thought of that.” He kissed Aurora’s little head. “Sorry, sha, I wasn’t thinking.”
“She’s not old enough to suck on a biscuit,” Ruby said, frowning. “A few more months and she’ll be eating everything in sight, but for right now―” She took Aurora from Paul and snuggled her close. “We have to start her out right. There will be time for biscuits later.”
Start her out right. Charlie had never thought she was ill-equipped for college. She was a quick learner, a better programmer than most of her online friends, and knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. But she didn’t know how to rely on other people. Not really. When things got tough, she just barreled through, trying her best to fix it herself. Somewhere, she’d decided that if she asked for help, it meant she was weak. It felt great to be independent, the best in her class, she didn’t need anybody. Now she had the grown up version of Aurora’s tummy ache. She was miserable.
“I’ll miss her strawberry smell,” Charlie said, reaching out for Aurora’s little hand. “But I won’t miss all that fussing.”
She looked up and saw Austin watching her. The expression on his face was hard to decipher but he seemed to be saying that he believed in her, that he knew she could bring herself out of the dark shadow that had covered the last six months. She gave him the tiniest nod. Tomorrow she would face Paul and tell him the truth. It didn’t matter whether he knew already or not. It was her responsibility to explain what happened. Being proud and silent had felt good in a way, but it was hurting her relationships with everyone she knew and loved. Her pride was making her sick and it was time to ask for help.
Chapter Twelve
A whale ship was my Yale College and my Harvard. ― Herman Melville
“Have a good interview,” Alice said. She reached up and brushed back Charlie’s hair. “Sorry, I’m not crying. Not really. I’m just not ready for everything to change.”
“Nothing is changing. I’ll still be here part time.” Charlie hoped that was true. If things went well, she hoped they’d still be friends. She gave Alice a quick hug and then leaned over Aurora’s play pen. She was sleeping peacefully, now that Paul had stopped the illicit strawberry breakfasts. Her arms were thrown out wide, tiny fists curled tight. Her T-shirt read “After a Full Belly, All is Poetry”.
“Who gave her this one?” Charlie whispered, motioning to the shirt.
“I made it online,” Alice whispered back. “You can make anything now.” She paused, a frown line appearing between her brows. “It’s a Frank McCourt quote. I didn’t credit him because there wasn’t enough room. Do you think that’s copyright infringement? I mean, the T-shirt is just for her. I’m not selling them. But people will read it off her and might think I made that up.” She was looking more worried by the second. “I can’t stand it when people don’t give credit. Maybe I should redo the shirt and put his name in small print on the back?”
Charlie reached out and hugged her, hard. “Oh, Alice,” she said.
Alice laughed a little. “You think I’m being ridiculous.”
“No, you’re perfect.” Charlie turned around, trying to wipe a tear from her eye without being noticed. “I should go. I won’t be long. A few hours at most. Call me if I should come back sooner.”
Alice switched to Creole. “Sha, don’t worry about us. Bon chance!”
“Merci,” Charlie said and walked away before she really started to cry. If it was just an interview, it wouldn’t matter. But so many people she loved might not speak to her by day’s end and it was scarier than having a thousand internet trolls on her trail.
***
“I don’t understand.” Francis Bernard narrowed his ice blue eyes at Austin. “You want to report a student cheating four years ago… and it’s you?”
“Yes, sir.” Austin tried not to look crazy. It wasn’t working. The dean of students looked like he was on the verge of calling campus security.
“You have a good job and drove hours to meet with me just to tell me you cheated on some tests?”
“Well, I…” Austin stared at his feet. “I never cheated on my own papers or tests. I was helping a girl― someone else. She― they were failing and needed to pass the class.”
“But you did all your work and took your own tests?”
“Yes, sir. But you see, I was cheating.” He felt like the conversation was slipping away from him. “And I know that anyone caught cheating will be expelled. So that makes my degree null and void.”
The dean leaned forward and fixed Austin with a look. “Do you like your job, Mr. Becket?”
“Yes, sir.” He loved everything about it except the fact he didn’t deserve to hold the position.
As if he’d been given the wrong answer, Francis Bernard sat back in his chair, frowning. After a few minutes of awkward silence he said, “Okay, this is what we’re gonna do. I’ll make a note in your file. If anyone makes the effort to inquire into your degree, that note will be there. I’m not going to ask about the other student because you didn’t bring any proof and don’t seem keen on sharing that information. These are very serious allegations and charges.”
“I know, sir.”
“For right now, I’m going to tell you to go back to Natchitoches and have a talk with your supervisor. If he thinks you should still be working there, then you’d best be thanking him for it.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “And I’ll bring this up at our next meeting. If most of the disciplinary committee agrees that we need to know all the details, then I’ll contact you and you might have to come back.”
Austin nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
The dean shook his head. “I admire you, son. I admire your ethics and integrity. But I hope you don’t let this shape the rest of your life. You’ve confessed it, now move past it.”
That sounded a lot like something Tom or Gideon would say. Austin stood up and held out his hand. “Thank you, sir. Again.”
“You’re welcome.” And this time he smiled, as if there was something about Austin that made him a little happier. “Now get back to your job.”
“Yes, sir.” Austin left the office and felt like a burden the size of his apartment had been lifted from his shoulders. Sure, it had sounded crazy and looked crazier, but coming clean to the school made him feel like he could finally start living. Maybe the rest of the world would call it scruples and tell him to get over himself, but Austin knew better. His daddy said if a man wasn’t honest in the little things, he wouldn’t be in the big things, either.
Walking back through campus, he thought of Megan and wondered where she was. He hoped she had found some peace, maybe grown up the same way he had. Getting to a place where he wished Megan well had taken a lot of time. Loving her, and realizing later that he hadn’t really been loved in return , was one of the most painful experiences of his life. Maybe now he understood. Maybe finally he would remember that a true friend would never ask him to go against his beliefs.
Gideon had told him once he was soft-hearted and had made it sound like a compliment. Austin didn’t want to be soft-hearted. He wanted to be discerning and skeptical. If he could trade his natural tendency to empathize, for Gideon’s natural tendency to scare the stuffing out of people, he might just take it. But he couldn’t change. He was born with a heart that accepted people as they were, and sometimes made excuses for their bad behavior, as dangerous as that was to his own moral standing.
Looking up at the clear blue sky, Austin prayed that Charlie was feeling the same freedom from her secrets. Of course she was no saint, none of them were, but Austin knew she didn’t deserve condemnation. She had the same fatal flaw as he did. They loved too much, believed too easily, would do anything for the people they loved.
Their kiss flashed through his memory. They say opposites attract and keep each other balanced, but kissing Charlie felt like finding a part of himself that had been missing, except he hadn’t know
n it was lost. Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing and it hadn’t meant anything to her but a nice kiss. But just like everything else about Charlie, he felt it held the promise of something indescribably precious.
***
“So, what was your favorite part of the tour? The IMAX screen? The virtual reality room? The mobile gaming development area? It’s probably weird to see all those people pinching the air and watching the game from across the room. We’re trying to see how far we can identify individual fingers when we put the game up on a big screen.” Paul punched a button on the shiny silver panel and the elevator smoothly started its climb.
“Oh, the cupcake bar, I guess.” Charlie stared out of the glass walls and after a few moments, they cleared the trees. The campus of ScreenStop headquarters appeared, parking lot full of cars to the left and rolling grass with newly planted trees to the right. The city of Natchitoches retreating below them, the river shining in the sun like a silk ribbon.
“Very funny.” Paul followed her gaze and pointed toward the Northeastern area. “By the Book is over there. I can see if from my office. It’s a whole lot better than looking out my Southern window in New York City and knowing it’s a long plane flight just to kiss my wife and little girl.”
Charlie smiled, but her nerves were jangling like plucked banjo strings. In minutes, she’d sit in front of Paul and tell him that she was the reason his company had lost five years of work and hundreds of millions of dollars in value.
The elevator doors slide open and he waved her out into the foyer. An older woman sat at a glossy, rounded desk. She glanced up with a smile.
“This is Mrs. Connor. If she ever quits, my entire business will explode in a fiery shower of phone message slips and meeting notes. I’m glad she decided to move to Natchitoches with the headquarters. Otherwise, I would have called the whole thing off.”
“Oh, you.” Mrs. Connor said, but Charlie could tell Paul was telling the truth and everyone in the room knew it.
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