by R. Linda
“Okay. Well, we just wanted to inform you that we raided Ray’s house and garage last night.” He paused for dramatic effect. I stared at him expectantly, not giving a reaction though my stomach was twisting itself into knots. Hendrix?
“We searched the entire premises and could find nothing that pointed to any murders of other women in the past, but the rooms in the basement and the cameras all over the house, and a box of newspaper clippings. There will be a further investigation into the entire incident. Camera footage has been seized and what evidence we could find has been collected. I’m afraid there isn’t much to go on at this stage though.”
“Hendrix?” It was the only question on my mind. Was he safe? Was he okay? Is he alive?
“We have Hendrix in custody. And a bail hearing is set for a week from now.”
“A bail hearing?” For who, Ray? Why would they set bail for a monster like that?
“For Hendrix. He was arrested for murder and kidnapping, amongst numerous other charges.”
“What? Why? He is innocent!” I cried, sitting upright in the bed. I couldn’t believe they would arrest him. He did nothing wrong.
Murder? Ray was dead? Or did they think Hendrix murdered those women?
“Your statement, along with Kat’s, and the fact he told us where to find the bodies, was all we needed to arrest him,” he said, reaching forward to place a hot clammy hand on my arm. I flinched away from his touch even though I knew it was meant to be comforting. “You’re safe now, Lucy. No one can hurt you again.”
He smiled sympathetically at me as if he knew I was worried about them coming after me or I was scared for my life. My life wasn’t a concern. I was scared for Hendrix.
“Can I see him?”
“Who?”
“Hendrix.”
“I’m afraid not. He’s been charged with your abduction as well. You can see him in court when you testify.”
“I’m not testifying against him. He’s my husband, and he’s innocent.”
“Lucy, I know you’re afraid, but changing your statement now would be a bad idea. We can protect you if you’re worried about him coming after you. We can keep you somewhere safe, where Hendrix will never find you. It’s okay. It’s over now.”
“Are you fucking stupid?” I didn’t mean to yell at him, but I couldn’t control it. It was like they hadn’t heard a word I’d said when locked in the concrete room. “Hendrix is innocent. He protected me. Saved me. Loved me. He shouldn’t be behind bars. Ray was the one behind the whole thing. Ask Kat, she’ll tell you,” I said. Kat would say the exact same thing I did.
“We’ve spoken to Kat numerous times. And she is worried about you. She thinks you developed some kind of attachment to Hendrix, and that you’re not seeing clearly. Kat told us everything, Lucy. And…” He paused. “I promise you, it’s over.”
No. It wasn’t over. Far from it.
Hendrix
I WAS FINGERPRINTED, given a cup of water and then taken to the hospital for tests. So many tests. Swabs. Needles. Scrapings. It was exhausting. I just wanted to sleep. The cuffs were starting to cut into the skin on my wrist, a precaution, I was told. It was unnecessary, but I understood why it had to be done. I was a risk. I was violent. I was a killer. Apparently. They had to be careful.
But I wasn’t a killer.
I was a victim.
It didn’t matter though; my pleas fell on deaf ears. No one cared that I claimed to be innocent. I was found next to a dead body. There was no stronger evidence than that. But it was a small price to pay knowing that Ray could no longer hurt anyone, and Lucy could go on and live her life the way she was meant to without looking over her shoulder in fear of him showing up.
I couldn’t get answers either. I wanted to know about Lucy. Where she was and what was happening with her. Was she safe? Home? Scared? Thinking of me too? No one would tell me anything because again, I was the one who kidnapped her. I put her life in danger. She was fleeing me.
There was one point through the night where I was sure I had heard Lucy’s name being mentioned by one of the nurses, and elation surged through me. She was here. Was she here? This close to me? Or had I imagined hearing her name? When I asked the nurse who came in to change my IV, she curled her lip up and ignored me.
Things were worse than I expected. Hoped. I had hoped to be taken in and found to be telling the truth about everything. Surely my story matched both Lucy and Kat’s. They had to have figured out I wasn’t responsible for at least fifteen of the disappearances because I was too young. Had they even connected those disappearances to one another? It wasn’t like they were all from this town. The women were scattered from all over the country, a couple of travellers too.
I was screwed.
They’d never figure it out.
When I finally fell asleep, I had nightmares of Ray hovering over a bound and gagged Lucy. I woke in a cold sweat with my wrists bleeding from pulling on the cuffs so hard in an attempt to save Lucy from him. It was awful.
The following morning after more tests, I was released from hospital only to be taken straight into remand until my trial, I was told, which had been brought forward and was expected to be within seven days. It seemed my case was worthy of fast tracking.
The cell was damp and cold with little more than a stainless-steel toilet, flimsy mattress on a wire frame and a moth-eaten blanket. I was fed well enough though, better than hospital food. At least I knew I wouldn’t starve. They did allow me out twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon for exercise—it was more than I could say for Ray. Maybe prison wouldn’t be so bad.
I was wrong.
Prison was bad. Very bad.
The men were brutal. Cruel. Merciless. And that was just the guards. The prisoners were worse, and the guards did nothing to stop them.
I spent four days in prison before my court-appointed lawyer finally showed his face. I’d have thought he’d make an appearance sooner. It was only my freedom on the line. Not like he needed to prepare for the case or anything. Either way, he came bearing good news.
“Your free to go,” he said pulling a few pieces of paper from his ratty briefcase.
“Excuse me?”
“The charges were dropped. The evidence they had against you was circumstantial and wouldn’t hold up in court. You’re free.”
I sat back in shock, unable to process his words. I was free.
“There’s some paperwork that needs to be finalised and you will need to stay close to town for a little while. There are some conditions that need to be met, mostly psychological treatment. You need to see a therapist to help you deal with everything that has happened. But otherwise, you’re a free man, Hendrix.”
Hendrix
I STEPPED OUTSIDE into the blinding sunlight and took in my surroundings. The prison parking lot was eerily quiet, not a soul in sight. It was surreal, that feeling of freedom. The fear was gone, the anxiety too. But, I had no idea where to go or what I was going to do. I had been living a lie my entire life, and now I was free to start fresh, but I had no place to live, no money, no identification. I had nothing. I essentially didn’t exist.
Where the fuck did I begin?
I made my way to the park bench out the front—why they had a seat outside a prison was beyond me, I mean who would want to wait around a place like this for long enough to need to sit? Me, obviously. I sat while I thought about how to move forward.
I was released with nothing but the clothes I had been wearing when they found me. No advice, no assistance. Nothing but an address for a homeless shelter and phone number for a psychologist. Thanks, bastards. I was the one stolen from my mother when I was a baby. I was the one kept prisoner and forced to hide bodies in the woods. I was the one tortured and abused for my. Entire. Life. And yet, they let me go with nothing but a ‘we’ll try to find your parents.’.
It didn’t matter though, because all I really wanted to do was find Lucy and tell her the good news—that I was fre
e and Ray was dead. I didn’t even know if she’d want to see me. I wouldn’t blame her if she hated me. I hated me for what I did to her, and she should too. But it didn’t change anything. I still wanted to make sure she was okay. I wanted to hold her hand and really, I just wanted to see her smile. Once. A real, truly happy smile. She could have been anywhere by now. It had been days since she and Kat escaped, and I was sure Kat would have returned home to her loving parents, but Lucy had no one. Not really. Her parents were poor excuses for human beings and that was coming from me.
I relaxed back into the seat and tilted my face up to the sky, enjoying the feeling of the sun shining on my face while I thought through my options. Sleep on the street—this bench was comfortable enough—or try to find the shelter and hope they had advice for me on how to start my life again, but I doubted that would happen.
I didn’t know how long I sat there for, enjoying just being outside and watching people as they walked in and out of the prison—visitors, staff and a lot of shady people. My mind must have been playing tricks on me though because after a while every single person who entered the prison began to look like Lucy.
I stared as yet another Lucy look-alike burst out of the heavy front doors and ran into the parking lot before hunching over and placing her head between her knees. She was crying. And she was going to be hit by a car if she didn’t move off the road soon. I stood up and was planning on telling her to move for her safety but hesitated. I was a stranger. A weirdo hanging around the front of the prison, I’d probably freak her out and I didn’t want to do that. So instead, I watched her, fascinated that she looked so much like Lucy but in different clothes. Normal clothes—jeans, t-shirt, and runners—not the fifties dresses Ray made her wear.
She stood up and tried to compose herself after a few minutes. Poor girl must have had someone inside that she cared deeply for to react like that. Slowly, she turned in my direction and startled when she saw me. I’d frightened her without even meaning too.
I froze.
She stared.
I rubbed my eyes.
She looked behind her then back at me.
“Lucy?” Was it her? My eyes had been playing tricks on me for so long I couldn’t be sure, but the way she was looking at me in shock made me think that maybe I wasn’t imagining her this time.
It really was Lucy. Standing thirty feet away. Tears streaming down her pretty face.
“Hendrix?” She hesitated then ran straight for me. “Oh, my goodness. I thought I was too late. I thought that I’d—” she sobbed, her fingers clutching my shirt.
“It’s okay, love. It’s all over.” I wrapped my arms around her, relieved to have her close again. To know that she was safe.
“I thought I’d missed you,” she mumbled into my chest.
“Nope. I’m here. Nowhere else to go. How did you know I’d be here?” I pulled her over to the bench I’d been sitting on, my arm still wrapped around and her hand still gripping my shirt as though afraid to let me go.
“I got a phone call warning me that they were releasing you.”
“Warning you?” Why would they warn her? I wasn’t a threat, clearly, otherwise they’d have never let me go.
“They think…” She paused and shook her head. “Nothing. They’re stupid. I can’t believe they arrested you for murder. That’s crazy. You’d never hurt anyone. I told them over, and over again that you were innocent. That it was all Ray, but they wouldn’t listen. Maybe, now they’ll focus their efforts on the right man. On the monster that did this to us.”
I stiffened as I took in her words. Focus their efforts on Ray. I was innocent. But I wasn’t really. I had killed Ray. Did she not know that? “Lucy, what did they tell you about my arrest?”
“Not a lot. Just that they had arrested you for murder. I mean there’s no way you could have murdered all those women. You were a child for most of them, but they wouldn’t listen no matter how many times I told them. I’m so happy they finally saw sense. I thought I’d never see you again.”
She had no clue that Ray was dead. That I killed him. I needed to tell her the truth, but was afraid she’d look at me differently, that maybe she wouldn’t be so happy to see me knowing I killed a man. To protect her, but still—murder was murder.
“We need to make a plan. Ray, he might come for us now. We need to get as far from this town as possible. It’s terrifying. I haven’t slept thinking that he’d jump out of the shadows and grab me again. I’ve been so scared, Hendrix,” she whispered. She needed to hear the truth. But… ah, voicing it was so much harder than I thought it would be. I hesitated so many times before pulling myself together and saying what I needed to say.
“Lucy. He’s not coming for us.” I paused knowing she would look up at me with those big brown eyes, questioning what I was saying. “Ray. He’s not going to look for us because—”
“Because why, Hendrix?”
“He’s—He’s… He’s dead,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief after saying the words out loud.
“Who is dead? Ray?”
“Yes.”
“But, I don’t understand, how?” She looked at me with crinkled eyes, completely unaware of what I was about to tell her.
“Because, I killed him,” I whispered, tightening my arm around her shoulder briefly in one last hug in case she freaked out.
“Y-you did?” Her eyes were wide. In shock. And she pulled away from me slightly to look at me properly. Her brown eyes staring hard into mine.
“Yes,” I breathed, hardly a sound passing my lips. She was bound to freak out any minute and run screaming from my arms into the prison, telling them I was a murderer, that I killed Ray and was going to kill her if she didn’t get away.
“Good.” She snuggled into my chest, hugging herself tighter to me.
“Good?” I pulled back slightly to look at her. She was content in my arms.
“Yes, good. Maybe now I can sleep without fear of him coming after me. You. Us. I was so scared he’d hurt you, Hendrix. I really thought he’d kill you.” She cried into my chest again.
I smiled. Not because she was crying, I hated seeing her upset and sad, but I smiled because I knew she was worried for me and my safety.
“I’m okay, love,” I said softly into her hair. “We’re safe. He can’t hurt you anymore. He can’t hurt anyone.”
“So that’s it. It’s over?”
“It’s over.”
“What happens now?”
“Now I have to work out how to live. I have nothing. I don’t exist.”
“You have me,” Lucy said, bringing her face up to touch her forehead to mine. “Let’s go home.”
“I don’t have a home.” I sighed.
“Yes, you do. With me.” Lucy stood and tugged me up by the hand. I followed her to her car with a smile on my face. Maybe things would be okay.
I had Lucy. She was my home.
Lucy
I PUSHED OPEN the door to my apartment and lead Hendrix inside. My stomach churned, and my heart thudded in my chest. Wiping my sweaty palms on the top of my jeans. I apologised, “Sorry. It’s not much and I’m still trying to clean up after…” I paused and winced.
“After I trashed the place when I broke in.” Hendrix nodded in understanding.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
Standing there bouncing on the balls of my feet, I wasn’t sure what else to say. Things were weird. Tense.
“I’m sorry, Lucy.” Hendrix leaned against the wall across my tiny living room.
I shook my head. “It’s done. Over. Now we can start fresh.”
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“Let’s start with food. Are you hungry?”
“Starving.”
I walked passed him into the kitchen and rummaged around in the cupboards for something to eat. I didn’t have much food, because I didn’t have a lot of money in my bank account and I had rent to pay. I’d spent the couple of days of freedom trying to get my life ba
ck in order. Miraculously, my landlord had kept my house for me and for that, I was grateful. I’d also returned to the bar and asked Rock for my old job back. He’d given it to me and also an advance on my wage to help me get back on my feet.
I think he felt guilty for not being there to protect me, and for not being more wary of Hendrix when he came in all those months ago. But, he couldn’t have known what Hendrix was planning, and in all honesty, I was okay. I didn’t resent Hendrix at all for what he did. We were in this together now, and always.
I returned to the living room with a plate of sandwiches and two glasses of juice. “It’s all I had. Hope this is okay,” I said to Hendrix, startling him. He stood up from where he was crouched on the floor tidying up the mess of textbooks and papers I hadn’t gotten around to cleaning yet.
“It’s great.”
“You don’t have to clean up, you know.”
“I do. I made this mess and I’m going to fix it.”
We sat on the floor and ate in silence until I could bear it no more. “What happens now?”
“I don’t know. I can’t even think straight. I never thought I’d be free of Ray or get out of that house alive. I don’t know how to do this.”
“We’ll figure it out.”
We slipped into silence again and I didn’t know how to break it, so I busied myself with cleaning up the plate and glasses and filling the sink with hot soapy water.
I felt his presence before I heard him. The warmth from his body flooded mine as he came to stand behind me.
“I didn’t think I’d see you again. I thought I’d lost you completely. That you’d hate me.” His voice was a low rumble, his breath caressed the back of my neck, causing a shiver to run up my spine. His hands came around my side and hesitated as though he wasn’t sure whether to wrap his arms around me or not. So, I made the decision for him. Entwining our fingers, I tightened his arms around my waist and leaned my head back against his chest.