Chaotic (Imperfect Perfection)

by Williams, C. A.

  “You’re looking fucking sexy tonight, Adelaide. That dress should be illegal.” Ian whispered into my ear, his warm breath blowing onto my face and I could only guess how much he had to drink before we got there.

  Ian wasn’t a bad looking guy, he looked like the All-American with his closely cut blond hair, deep-brown eyes, and bleached-white teeth. But he wanted one thing, just like the rest of them, and that made me cringe. But it also offered me an escape, one that oddly seemed to fill the hole in my chest.

  “Oh this? Just something I threw on, I’m glad you like it.” I fingered the clingy red material that was cut short and just covered all of the goods. With my lightly tanned skin, I knew it was the perfect color for me. I had a nice body, after years of working with a trainer at my mother’s insistence, and you could see every inch of that with this dress on.

  His hand moved to my bare thigh and I instantly stiffened, but pasted a fake smile on my face. “You want to get out of here and go up to my room? I think we could make things a whole lot more interesting with a private party, don’t you think?”

  “Mmm hmm,” I murmured as he tugged me up, and I followed behind him, waving at people as I went. I was abruptly stopped as soon as we entered the hallway, and twirled around, instantly meeting a set of familiar robin-egg blue eyes. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year but he still gave me that gut wrenching feeling every time.

  Chris.

  Great.

  “Could I talk to you for a second, Addy? Please?” He ran a nervous hand through his perfectly gelled blond hair and watched me intently, as I wagered in my head what exactly to do.

  Ian stood stiffly behind me, obviously pissed that we had gotten interrupted but backed up quickly when Chris turned and glared his way. Chris had a few good inches on Ian and could easily take him if it came to that.

  What a winner you are, Ian.

  Chris and I had started dating at the end of our sophomore year. Our relationship had been different, unlike any other one I had before, and I truthfully thought, like some stupid teenager, that we would be together forever.

  He was a jock, not someone that I would normally date. Did I really want to be put on the back burner when it came to sports? Don’t think so. But Chris was always sweet, surprising me with odd dates that I would never expect and always being a perfect gentleman.

  We had a lot in common, when it came to our parents, and they were all overjoyed that we were dating, often going out as families to the country clubs. Things started to change during the summer though.

  While the whole school thought I was far from a virgin, they all guessed wrong. Chris, at first, was fine with things going slow, but after awhile started to pressure me. We had ended things, well more like me, right at the end of our senior year, and I had been avoiding him ever since as much as I could. It turned out to be pretty easy since he had gone away for school but he always came back every summer.

  I figured I might as well get this over with. After tomorrow I wouldn’t have to see him or anyone else for a while. “Fine, Chris.” I huffed out. “Ian, I’ll meet you in a minute, ‘kay?” I gave him a sweet smile before turning an angry glare back to Chris. “Okay, you have like two minutes. I’m a little busy if you couldn’t tell, so get on with it.”

  “Addy, why do you have to be like this? And why the hell do you have to do it with that asshole of all people?” He was one of the few people that were allowed to get away with a nickname for me. My mother thought they weren’t proper and quickly corrected anyone who tried to give me one. Chris was one of the exceptions.

  He reached up a hand to place on my cheek, but I quickly knocked it away and remained silent. “Fine.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked down at the floor. “I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know things ended on kind of a bad note and I really don’t understand why they needed to. I’ve been really torn up about it.”

  “Gee, I don’t know, Chris. It might have had something to do with that one night we were both shit-faced and you did whatever the fuck you wanted to do with me. Do you really understand what I went through after that? So don’t go telling me about how torn up you’ve been, because we all know that’s one big lie. All of the skanky girls that you’ve been with since certainly proves it.” Did he not think I heard the gossip even if he had been away at school? I turned on my heel, but his hand gripped tightly onto my forearm, and I squirmed to get out of his hold.

  “You and I both know how much you wanted it, Adelaide,” he hissed into my ear, before letting go of my arm. “You haven’t really been helping your case much by all of the guys you’ve been with. So don’t even try and pull that pathetic ass shit with me. As for what you had to deal with afterwards, well that was your own fault,” he smirked. “You could have come to me instead of turning to that bitch of a mother of yours. That was your entire fault.” My mouth gaped open at him, but no sound came out. My fault? My fault? How could I have ever thought that Chris was my soul mate or some stupid shit like that?

  I was done. Completely done with men, well that is, besides to use them. My heart was being guarded by an iron cage from now on. But one thing was for sure. I would, at least, never have to see that asshole again.

  Chapter 3

  The sound of my alarm broke through the blackness, and I groaned when I saw the time. Why in the hell did I go out last night? Well, I guess it was kind of expected since the summer was almost over. The parties to choose from were endless.

  I clicked on the bedside lamp, the low light casting an orange glow across the room that hopefully wouldn’t wake anyone. “Adelaide, what the fuck? It’s like eight in the morning. Get that fine ass back over here.” An arm snaked around my bare waist and I was pulled back onto the bed.

  “Ian, I need to get going. I have to meet my mother for brunch at Millers Bistro. She’ll be pissed if I’m late.” I heard a muffled groan from underneath his pillow and then both hands immediately gripped my hips, placing me on top so I was straddling him.

  “Since when does Adelaide McGregor follow any kind of rules? You know we had a good time last night. We could continue that for the rest of the day.” His hands reached up to run along my sides and he tugged me closer, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I circled my hips around, earning a loud grunt from his lips that made me chuckle, and leaned down to brush my lips across the side of his neck. “Sorry, Ian. Maybe later.” Yeah, like that was going to happen.

  I gave one final push with my hips before jumping off the bed and hunting around for the bag I had stashed in his room the night before. I figured I would end up here since we had been flirting back and forth for about the past week and had yet to actually hook up. “You’re such a tease. You better be back here in like two hours or I’m going to come hunt your ass down. That was the best night of my life.”

  I had to bite back a laugh at his dreamy expression. Well, at least it was for someone. I guess in a way it had been fulfilling for me too. It definitely beat sitting at home doing nothing. When that happened, my brain tended to think too much and when it did that it was hard to turn off. That didn’t need to happen. All I would feel was guilt and hatred. I had already let that take over my life once, and I wasn’t going to let it happen again.

  I dabbed a little bit of foundation on after a quick shower and brushed some lip-gloss across my lips. I still looked like shit, but hopefully the makeup and the navy scoop neck dress I had brought for brunch would please my mother enough.

  I rolled my eyes when I walked back out into the pitch-black room and heard Ian’s loud snores. Apparently, he wasn’t that happy with last night or he would have joined me in the shower. Oh well, best to leave him now anyway so he doesn’t get the wrong idea and think we’re actually going to have a relationship.

  A taxi was already waiting for me at the curb, and the driver hopped out to open my door. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the pile-up of messages from last night. A few from Marley and Madison already from early this morning. />
  I had been surprised when they had both went home early last night, but I knew they wanted to get an early start on moving. Well, I guess I should say driving because Madison’s dad had pretty much paid for everything, including movers. Although the two of them got on my freaking nerves sometimes, I was happy that they were moving on with their lives. Now if I could just do the same thing instead of being completely stuck, everything would be perfect.

  “Late night again, I see.” My mother remarked snidely as soon as I sat down in between sips of her mimosa, which appeared to already be her second of the morning, and it wasn’t even noon. Dear old mom was a total hypocrite.

  “Well, I am pretty much an adult, mother. I think I can make my own decisions.” I glanced quickly at the menu and put in my order with the waiter that was probably only a year or two older than me that my mother was eyeballing. She was practically drooling on her silk Chanel.

  “Oh, yes because up until now those decisions have been so wise.” Touché mother, touché. “And about those decisions, have you decided on where you will be attending school? You don’t have much time and you should have already submitted applications for any of the schools that are worthwhile. I’m sure Gerald could put in a word, if necessary.”

  “I have a few weeks to decide still, I’m sure I’ll figure something out, but I don’t think I need any of Gerald’s influence. I’d prefer to do things on my own.” I gave the waiter a wide smile as he sat my chocolate-drizzled banana-stuffed French toast down in front of me, and he gave me an equally flirty one.

  I bit my lip as he held my stare for just a second longer and then cleared his throat with a shake of his head, setting down my mom’s plate in front of her. I saw the look of distaste flash across her face but was quickly covered up by a pasted on smile. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my breakfast choice, which, by the way, I had found out was oddly the perfect cure to a hangover, or the fact that, Derrick, as his nametag read, was paying attention to me.

  “Really, Adelaide?” She hissed as soon as he was out of earshot but not before he gave me a quick wink. Hmm…now those hands looked to be skillful and could occupy plenty of my time.

  “Didn’t you learn your lesson the first time you spread your legs? You are too young to be so…experienced.” I choked on my cucumber water at my mother’s words and looked around to see if anyone had heard. Honestly, I really wouldn’t care but she was all about appearances and was constantly worried about her image.

  “Don’t worry, mother. I’m not being stupid about it, I’m on birth control, and whichever penis I pick is most certainly wrapped. So when and if I feel the urge to spread my legs, just know I’m being one hundred percent safe. Even if I’m not exactly laying back and spreading my legs, you know there are so many different positions I love to try out. Have you ever heard of the Dolphin? It’s fairly tricky but once you get the hang of it, can be amazing. It also helps that I’m so flexible,” I added on loudly before laying my napkin on my cleared plate.

  My mother’s face had turned a bright shade of red halfway through my little speech and I couldn’t help but pat myself on the back. I said a silent thank you to Marley for making Madison and I look at that Kama Sutra sex book. Who knew all of that knowledge could be used for more than one thing?

  “We will finish this discussion at home Adelaide Elizabeth. Just know that I’m very displeased with your behavior.” She drained the rest of her fifth mimosa and stiffly smiled at Derrick when he returned with the bill.

  He tilted his jet-black head towards the bill that my mother was holding and wiggled his eyebrows at me before leaving. I’m guessing that meant his phone number was listed at the bottom. How original. If you’re going to give me your number, at least don’t give it to my mother. She might end up actually using it for herself.

  “Well I’m going to take a cab home.” I stood and grabbed my handbag. “Or maybe I’ll make a few stops to my regulars on the way, since you think I’m a prostitute or something.” I turned on my heel, sliding down my sunglasses as I went and stifled a giggle as I heard her choking on her drink. Ah, revenge tasted so good.

  Chapter 4

  Somehow, I had gotten the house to myself for the weekend. After a long summer of hounding my ass about college, I think my mother and Gerald needed a break. They had left on Thursday for an extended weekend trip and forgotten to have any of the staff there to babysit me. Oopsie.

  I wasn’t going to be stupid and let things get out of control, but I figured I was due to have a teensy bit of fun. Besides, the rest of my friends who had planned on leaving for school were preparing to head off again, and I figured they would need one final send off, courtesy of me.

  I hadn’t heard much from Marley and Madison since they left, and really, it wasn’t surprising. Those two were all about status and now that they weren’t living here again, they were probably busy sinking their claws into someone else who had some kind of pull around there.

  “Adelaide. O-M-G. You look freakin’ hot. It looks like someone’s been getting their tan on this summer.” I smiled as I held the door open for Rachel Simmons. She had always been someone that hung around in my group, but we weren’t really close. She pressed a bottle of Ciroc into my hands and brushed past me, herding herself into the small group that was already there.

  I guess laying out almost every day this summer had done my body good. I had a nice deep tan and with the white strapless sundress I had on, it only helped to set it off even more. I moved to shut the door when a hand popped in, blocking the way. “Um, excuse me. Did I invite you?” I pasted a sweet smile on my face but narrowed my eyes at the body that belonged to that hand. I had thought I had seen the last of him for awhile, at least.

  His blond hair looked to be just a bit longer than I remembered, and those blue eyes widened, smiling back at me as he slowly looked me over. “Damn Addy. Do you really have to be like that? Don’t try to tell me that you aren’t going to miss me. I figured you’d at least want to see me before I took off for the semester. Please?”

  Great, just what I needed, an ex-boyfriend who doesn’t know how to take a hint. I didn’t think I could get much clearer. I guess I should have started drinking earlier. I let out a loud sigh and moved aside so he could step through. He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on my cheek before sliding past me and yelling out to a friend of his, who was probably the one who had invited him. Traitor.

  I walked into the kitchen and poured two shots of the good stuff that I had hidden from everyone else. The burning of the liquid seemed to stuff down the memories that were trying to break free at the sight of Chris, so I poured out a third before walking back into the game room.

  Luckily, through blurred vision and a very incoherent mindset, I was able to keep the noise to a dull roar. I really didn’t need any of the neighbors to call the cops so they could bust a bunch of minors. That definitely wouldn’t have made mommy dearest very happy.

  “Bye, Adelaide.” Rachel gave me two air kisses before stumbling out with the help of Mason Jeffries whose hand was resting squarely on her rounded ass. At least someone was going to have a fun night.

  I shut the door with a loud sigh, seeing that it was only one a.m. I wasn’t totally wasted, and I knew if I went to sleep now all I would do was toss and turn, so I headed towards the kitchen.

  “Addy,” I heard whispered behind my back, and I spun around with the glass raised to my lips, my eyes widening as I saw Chris standing in the entryway.

  “I thought you left with everyone else. You looked like you were getting pretty cozy with Chloe with the way she was grinding her ass all over you.” I tried to keep any jealousy out of my voice, but it was almost impossible. I might be trying to avoid him at all costs, but there were still some feelings left there that just wouldn’t go away.

  I think I would always have feelings for Chris because he was my first love, but we would never be able to be together again. Too many things had happened that couldn’t be changed.
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br />   “Come on, Addy, you know I couldn’t give a shit about anyone else but you. I just wanted some alone time before I left. Is that all right, or do you want me to leave?”

  Wow, he was actually giving me a choice. I guess some things did change after all. I chewed on my lip so hard, I thought for sure there would be blood, before answering him.

  “Yeah, I guess that’s all right,” I took a deep breath, not believing what I was about to do, but Chris just seemed to bring back so many memories that I just wanted to keep away. “But I’m really not in the mood for talking.” I closed the small space between us and instantly mashed my lips against his. He let out a startled noise because I’m sure there was no way he was expecting that, but he, of course, didn’t pull away. His mouth tasted so familiar and comforting as I tangled my hands in his hair.

  That had been one of my favorite things about Chris: even though all around he was a good looking guy, I just always felt so in control during our heavy make out sessions when I had my hands twined through his hair, controlling the next moves.

  “Addy,” he moaned into my mouth before spinning me around and slamming me into the kitchen wall. “You have no idea how much I missed this. How much I missed everything about you.” He worked at a frantic pace, his hands pushing up the hem of my dress until it was bunched up at my waist.

  “Just quit talking.” I wrapped my legs around his waist and latched my lips onto his neck, sliding my tongue up the length until I reached his strong jaw and then dragged his bottom lip in between my teeth. I moaned into his mouth when he thrust his hips forward.

  I could feel his hardness through his shorts push against me, and it set me off with a need that I had to have filled right then and there. I let my legs drop briefly and fumbled with the button on his shorts. He helped out by pushing those down, along with his boxers and reached down to grasp my hips.