“It’s just that I’m not sure August is going to be a good month for me to get away.”
“Why not?”
She took a deep breath. “There’s something I need to tell you. David, I’m—”
The front door burst open and the boys rushed into the house, their noise cutting off whatever she was going to say.
“Cool,” Keith said, looking at the decorations. “The tree looks awesome.”
David asked about their night out, and Keith gave them a play-by-play of the basketball game they’d attended at the high school.
David motioned to John then reached for his coat. “Can I talk to you outside?” John followed him to the garage, and David pulled the letter from his pocket. “What is the meaning of this?”
John shrank back. “Where did you get that?”
“I found it in your car.”
“You went through my car? Dad, that’s not cool.”
“John, it says you’ve been charged with shoplifting. What happened?”
John shrugged as if it were no big deal, but David could see the worry clouding his eyes. “I needed another pair of sneakers.”
“Your mother bought you a pair when school started.”
“They tore. I needed new ones, and I didn’t have the money to pay for them.”
“So you stole them?” He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. “John, why didn’t you call us?”
“I didn’t want to bother you. You and Mom give me so much already. I didn’t want to have to ask for more money for new shoes.”
“John, you got arrested, and you still didn’t call us. We’re your parents. You can always talk to us, especially when you get into trouble.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. And I’m sorry I took the shoes. I’ll never do it again. Believe me, I learned my lesson.”
David saw the anxiety in his young son’s face. “We’re not through discussing this, John, but you don’t have to handle this alone. I’ll drive up and make the court date with you.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
David hugged his son, and John walked back into the house.
It struck David that John needed him more than he’d realized. John might be in college, but that didn’t make him grown. David was suddenly unsure how long it would be before he could ever stop worrying about his boys. Keith would be coming right alongside John next year, making his own bad decisions.
He would be more diligent about checking in on both boys from now on.
Chapter 7
Bethlehem Café had a rooftop deck that overlooked the bay. During the summer months, it was a wonderful place to sit outside and enjoy the Maine coastline, but during winter, Kate preferred the inside tables with the patio view.
Because of the early afternoon hour, the dining room was deserted, and Kate prayed it stayed that way. She needed some time alone to talk to David…assuming he showed up at all. She checked her watch. He was already ten minutes late. Had he gotten her text about meeting for lunch?
She should have just told him yesterday before the boys arrived home. Why had she hesitated? He’d given her the perfect opening. Why hadn’t she just said the words?
I can’t go on a cruise in August, David, because I’m going to be having a baby.
Why was it so hard to get those words past her lips?
She paced the floor, practicing how she would tell him her news. She wanted to soften the surprise, but she also wanted to let him know she was happy about having this child. She wanted to remind him that children were a blessing, a gift from God, even though she was certain he wouldn’t feel that way in the beginning.
Murmurings downstairs alerted her attention. She heard someone call David’s name, then his heavy footsteps on the stairs let her know he was on his way.
She’d arranged for a picnic-style lunch, complete with Italian subs and hot bowls of the soup of the day.
His gaze roamed the empty room and the arranged meal as he entered. “What’s the special occasion?”
“Well, I was thinking about what you said the other day and decided you’re right. I have been spending too much time focusing on this nativity and not enough time focusing on us.” She motioned him toward a chair then took the one opposite it.
He sat down then reached for her hand across the table. “I know the nativity is important, Kate. I suppose I was feeling a little neglected. It seems as if things have been off with us recently. You seem so far away. That’s why yesterday was so nice. I felt like you needed me again.”
“I do need you, David. I don’t mean to shut you out.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly. She needed him to know how important he was to her. She would need him now more than ever. “I’ve been under a great deal of pressure lately. I suppose I’ve allowed my priorities to get messed up.” She stared out at the ocean view, trying to summon her courage to tell him about the baby. “Do you remember when the boys were younger and we would take them to the ocean and they would run along the beach, looking for seashells?”
He smiled…a good sign. “It’s hard to believe they were ever that small, isn’t it? They’ve grown into fine young men.”
“Yes, they have. We did a good job, didn’t we, David?”
“I think we did.” He sighed. “I confess, there were days when I wondered if we would make it. It was a long, hard struggle to get here.”
She frowned. “It wasn’t always a struggle. We had good times, too.”
“Of course. That wasn’t what I meant. I don’t regret one moment of our life together. I only meant that it took us a long time to get here, to where we have a life more than kids. Do you remember the plans we used to make while we sat on those rocks and looked out at the ocean? We were going to sail away together one day, just the two of us, once the boys were grown. We’re finally there, Kate. We can finally make that dream a reality.” He reached into his coat, pulled out a folded picture, and handed it to her.
It was a picture of a sailboat.
“I spoke to the man selling this, and he’s agreed to let me take it out on the water.”
She was surprised by this turn of conversation. How had they gotten off her topic? “You want to buy a boat?”
“Yes.” He reached out and took her hand again. “Think about it, Kate. You and me alone in the middle of the ocean. We could sail down the coastline when the weather here is bad then head back for the summer months.”
“David, I have responsibilities here. I’m the town manager—a job I worked very hard to get.”
“You don’t have to work anymore, Kate.”
“I love my job. I love politics. I would even like to go on to hold bigger offices, possibly even a state office.”
“But our dream of sailing away…”
“We were kids. Dreams change, David. Plans change. No one still wants the same things they wanted when they were younger.”
His face hardened at her words. “When you were younger, you wanted me. Has that changed, too, Kate?”
“David, no. You’re my husband. Of course I still want you.”
“I’m tired of playing second fiddle to everything else in your life—your job, the kids, the town. When does it get to be just us, Kate?”
She closed her eyes, wondering how to respond to that question. This baby meant it wouldn’t be just them for a long, long while. But how could she tell him that?
She was still wondering when he got up and walked out.
Kate ran into Tina Purvis in the church parking lot as they arrived for the nativity. Kate gave her a hug and greeted each of the kids.
“David told me about the baby. Congratulations. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you. It was unexpected, but a nice surprise. I don’t think David was too pleased with the news, however. I’m only sorry this upsets yours and David’s plans to retire.”
Kate laughed. “Retire? We’re not retiring.”
“Oh…well, Mike said David offered to let Mike buy him out of the agency
.”
Kate was stunned. They had never discussed retiring so soon. It seemed they hadn’t been discussing a lot of things these days.
“I only hope if he finds someone else to buy him out that it will be someone who won’t run it into the ground. They’ve worked so well together all these years, and it will be difficult to transition to partnering with someone else.”
Kate nodded, reeling. David had been doing a lot of talking about looking forward to being able to travel, but she hadn’t been aware before today that he was making retirement plans. First he was shopping for boats, and now he’d actually approached Mike about selling his share of the business?
What else had he done without consulting her?
She rubbed her stomach, realizing she’d been making plans of her own and hadn’t yet shared them.
Kate spotted David in the fellowship hall and was surprised to find him holding their friends’ sixteen-month-old daughter. He was doing the tickle monster with her, and she was laughing and wiggling in his arms. It warmed Kate to see such a display and, more importantly, to see the enjoyment on David’s face.
“Hi there, you two.” She touched the little one’s foot and soaked in the softness and the smallness of it. This would be their child in a couple of years. Would David be here, holding their child and playing tickle monster? And would she see the same enjoyment on his face as she did today with this child?
Kate smiled at him. “You’re a natural with kids.”
“It’s easy to enjoy them when I know I can hand them back to their parents.” He said it jokingly, but Kate felt the sting of his words.
“David, about this afternoon…” She hadn’t seen him since the argument at the café, and she’d never gotten the chance to tell him about the baby as she’d planned. “There was something specific I wanted to tell you. Can we talk tonight after the nativity?”
The baby’s mother came, and David handed her over. “I can’t. I’m driving to Portland tonight to bring the boat back. I’m taking it out on the water tomorrow.”
“You’re still planning to buy that boat? I can’t believe you would make that big of a decision without discussing it with me further first.”
“I’m starting to realize that we’ve both been making decisions without consulting the other. When was the last time we agreed on anything, Kate?”
He marched past her toward the dining hall, where the church had provided a hot meal before the nativity. The tension between them was palpable, and she was certain others must feel it.
She spotted Mr. Samuels and his wife entering the fellowship hall and rushed over to assure him that everything was running smoothly again tonight.
“I hope you hired more officers to control the traffic,” he grumbled. “Last weekend’s traffic was terrible, and with the exposure we’re getting throughout the state, I expect we’ll see larger crowds tonight.”
Kate was a little disheartened that the easygoing spirit of their last conversation had disappeared. She assured him it was taken care of, but truthfully, she had no idea what had been done to address the traffic issue. She scanned the hall for Myles and called him over.
“Mr. Samuels would like to know about the traffic situation,” she said, and Myles jumped to the task, giving an outline of the newest measures they’d taken.
Mr. Samuels nodded but did not look pleased with the update. He marched away, tugging his wife behind him. Myles glanced at Kate, and she assured him that everything was fine before he rushed away.
She was perplexed. Myles was doing a wonderful job of staying on top of things. Kate didn’t understand what reason Mr. Samuels would have to be upset, but she was certain she would hear about it from the selectmen.
As Kate entered the dining hall, she saw David seated at a table with several of their friends, including Mike and Tina. She fixed herself a plate then took the seat beside him. David dug into his meal, but Kate picked at her food then pushed her plate away.
“What’s the matter, Kate? Don’t you like the shrimp?” Mike asked.
“I’m just feeling a little sick.”
“Tina couldn’t eat much either. I thought each pregnancy was supposed to be different, but every time, all fried foods made her sick.”
“And this pregnancy will be no exception,” Tina said, laughing. “Just thinking about those onion rings is making me feel ill.”
“Kate’s was shrimp,” David said. “With both boys, she wasn’t able to eat it. But afterward, she devoured it.”
“Well, she’s not eating it now,” Mike noticed. “What’s the matter, Kate? Are you pregnant?”
David glanced down at her plate of untouched shrimp.
She could see his mind working, putting the pieces together, until the truth dawned on him. He stared at her, his eyes wide. She nodded.
Mike seemed to realize his comment had hit a sensitive spot, and he backed off. Tina, however, threw her arms around Kate. “Congratulations! We’ll be pregnant together.”
David pushed his chair back from the table, tossed down his napkin, and walked off. Kate rushed to follow him.
“This isn’t how I meant for you to find out. I tried to tell you, several times, but you kept talking about how you were glad it was Mike and Tina and not us. I got scared, David.” She caught at his arm. “Please, David. I’m very happy about this baby. I know it wasn’t in our plans, but it is a blessing. We’re going to have another baby. When I look at John and Keith and how well they’re growing up, it makes me proud. I know it won’t be easy, but we can do this…together.”
He turned to face her, his eyes full of confusion and anger. “You should have told me sooner, Kate.”
“I know. I tried. Stuff just kept getting in the way.”
“Stuff has a way of doing that with us, doesn’t it?” He stared down at her. “Why were you afraid to tell me?”
“I don’t know. You’ve been dreaming about sailing away from here for years.”
“I’m not going to abandon you, Kate.”
“I don’t want you to. I want you to stay…but I want you to stay because you want to, not because you feel some sort of obligation to me and this child.”
“But I do have an obligation to you and this child. I can’t ignore that.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I thought we had our life planned out. I thought we both wanted to get away, to travel, to spend time alone together.”
“That was always your dream, David. I love this town. I love my job. And I can’t think of any better place to raise this baby than right here in Bethlehem, in our home.”
Tears slipped down her face. This wasn’t how she’d hoped this confrontation would go. “This doesn’t have to change us, David.”
“Something has to change with us, Kate, because I can’t continue living this way. This is just one more thing to come between us.”
He walked out, letting the door slam behind him. Kate didn’t follow him. He needed to come to terms with the shock of this news. She knew David. He would do his duty to her and this child…but she also knew she wanted more from him than just duty.
David unlocked the door to his office then locked it behind him. He didn’t bother turning on the overhead lights but chose instead to switch on the desk lamp. He didn’t need to advertise that he was here to anyone who happened to drive by. He needed to be alone right now. He needed the peace and quiet to sort through the bombshell he’d just been handed.
He was going to be a father again.
He pulled his hands through his hair and fell onto the couch. This wasn’t the plan. This wasn’t where he’d imagined his life would go. He had plans for the future, plans to travel and enjoy life together—just him and Kate. They’d not had that since those very early few months of marriage. After learning about John’s pending arrival, their lives had become focused on children, preparing for, providing for, caring for.
He stared at the photographs lining the walls of his office. He was proud of his boys…but was he ready to do it aga
in? He wasn’t sure he had the strength to go through all that again with another child.
Yet it no longer mattered what he wanted or whether or not he had the strength. A child had been created, and he was a father again. He would never leave Kate to raise it alone so he could selfishly go off and live his dream.
His phone beeped. He checked it and saw a message from Myles, wanting to know where he was.
He responded that he was on his way.
He’d never been the kind of man to duck out on his responsibilities…whether that meant playing the role of Joseph in the live nativity, or playing the role of daddy again.
He would do his duty to the best of his ability.
He made it back to the church in time to don his costume and meet Kate at Bethlehem Green. Her eyes pleaded with him to talk to her, but now was not the time for conversation. He wasn’t yet sure he could deal with this, or what he could possibly say to make things right between them.
The time came for Kate to take the baby in her arms. David played his role, longing for the moment when he could find peace and quiet and time to think about how his world had been turned upside down.
But when he saw Kate, he felt a sting in his already open wound. He knew it was just a role, but to see her holding a baby only served to remind him of what lay in store. Diapers, nighttime feedings, years and years of money and commitments and doing his Christian duty to raise another child.
Kate had said she’d been afraid to tell him. Afraid of him? She had to know he would do his duty as this child’s father.
The baby in her arms began to cry and Kate stroked his cheek. How many times had he seen her do that to their boys? How many times had she comforted a crying child?
He watched her now. She was so beautiful, and the child in her arms only added to her glow. She was a good mother—kind and gentle, generous and firm, training her children to love the Lord with all their hearts and souls.
Still he held on tightly to his resentment. What would happen to them now? Would he have to work long hours, trying to juggle work and home and family?
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