It goes without saying I agreed. In fact, I spent the ensuing weeks extrapolating that upcoming gig in my imagination. It included the first-class flight to LA and a hotel suite down the road from the studio. Then there were the SCRABBLE lessons with JLo between takes and drinks with my soon-to-be main man Matt McConaughey, in which I’d impart some fresh perspective on the script’s characters. And, though my participation was already underwritten by Hasbro as part of my job, I’d most likely get a hefty check from grateful producers after my work was done.
So after we hung up, I wrote a long memo outlining my suggestions as discussed. The NSA also sent along boxes of supplies, signage, games, tiles, and dictionaries. Then I sat back and waited for the phone calls about arrangements or questions from JLo and other actors about their character’s motivation and the like. Before long, some Hasbro execs and NSA members started referring to “the Jennifer Lopez SCRABBLE movie.”
Weeks passed. Months passed. The phone calls never came. Eventually, the movie opened. I happened to catch an interview between JLo and Rosie O’Donnell in which they both gushed about their passion for SCRABBLE. I ended up seeing The Wedding Planner a couple of weeks after it had been mostly trashed by critics and NSA members. Still, I walked into a Manhattan movie theater with a relatively open mind.
That didn’t last long. I knew we were in trouble when the first scene at the San Francisco SCRABBLE club portrayed the average member’s age as between eighty and death. Then there was the scene where JLo reluctantly tells her new love interest that she’s a member of the local SCRABBLE group and plays in tournaments. Her character searches his face as he absorbs this revelation.
“Pretty pathetic, huh?” she adds, hoping she hasn’t permanently alienated him with this disclosure.
Overall, I’d guess the world’s favorite word game was featured for perhaps ten minutes in the two-hour movie. Still, as the credits rolled, I optimistically stayed until the very end. At least I’d see my name mentioned as technical adviser. When that never materialized, I waited to see my name nestled in the general thank-yous at the very end along with the caterers, the mayor’s office, and the pet handlers.
Nope. You can bet when they come to me for help with the sequel, I’m really going to give them a piece of my mind.
MARTHA STEWART
For a number of years in the American culture, nothing surpassed an endorsement from Martha Stewart as—to use her famous phrase—“a good thing.” So you can imagine my excitement when we arranged for an entire episode of her hit show to be devoted to SCRABBLE. I’d known for a couple of years from media accounts that Martha was a huge fan and very competitive, with a SCRABBLE board in each of her homes.
So an NSA contingent and I headed up to Westport, Connecticut, for the appearance. We’d also arranged for National and World SCRABBLE Champion Brian Cappelletto to fly in from Chicago. Between us, Brian and I would review SCRABBLE fundamentals with Martha in two separate segments. The producers told us that Martha was especially excited about our visit, as were NSA members and Hasbro.
The afternoon before we taped, I was backstage assembling all our props when Martha wandered through and stopped. “You must be the SCRABBLE man,” she said. I allowed that I was.
The first thing that struck me was Martha’s appearance. She is taller than I expected and has an athlete’s build. Not surprisingly, she exudes confidence, an understandable guardedness, and a heard-it-all-before weariness. As it turned out, I was standing in front of a large blown-up photograph of one of her beloved Chow Chow dogs. Trying to find common ground, I mentioned that I had a black half Chow Chow that looked very much like hers. The conversation ground to a halt when she told me that particular dog had recently died.
We were working in a part of the Martha Stewart empire that was a beautiful old house in a residential neighborhood in exclusive Westport. Attached to the house was a sleek state-of-the-art television studio that was completely hidden from the road. The entire staff and production team seemed to be young, hip, and well dressed. They were also very efficient. Most of them commuted from Manhattan, seventy-five miles away, and ate meals prepared in the studio’s vast and gleaming kitchen. No surprise there. It was clear that Martha ran a tight ship.
Apparently, however, Martha was much less structured on the air. Right before the segment, the director called me aside.
“We need your help here,” he began. “Martha is so smart and has so many ideas—her mind never stops. Because of this, she has a tendency to drift from our script or outline.”
I was starting to get concerned as he continued. “So you and I have to review it now, and we need you to drive the spot.”
“How exactly am I going to do that?”
“If she starts to go off message, reel her back in. Make her stick to the plan.”
Now I was getting nervous.
As it turned out, Martha was great. She’s so damned smart, and her SCRABBLE questions were original and incisive. Though we’ve never played a game, it’s clear she understands SCRABBLE strategy very well. The piece came out even better than we anticipated. It’s still on YouTube today!
With the exception of a couple of Christmas cards, that was the last interaction I had with Martha Stewart until years later. We reconnected along with some others on a conference call for a proposed project. At one point in the conversation, Martha interrupted and said, “John, you’d be very proud of me. Since I last saw you, I’ve had time to play a lot of SCRABBLE lately and have learned many new words and gotten a lot better.” She was laughing at herself, referring to her recently completed time in prison. We all laughed as well.
JACK BLACK
I’ve had the good fortune to meet many famous and accomplished people because of my job as NSA executive director. Perhaps my most rewarding encounter was a brief one with the extraordinary actor and musician Jack Black. Like other celebrities, Jack had mentioned his SCRABBLE passion in numerous media stories over the years.
Meeting Jack was a completely serendipitous experience. I was staying in Manhattan at the apartment of film critic Jeffrey Lyons and his wife, Judy, our close family friends. Jeffrey casually mentioned he was going to interview Jack Black the next morning during his regular slot on WNBC. Explaining that the actor was a huge SCRABBLE enthusiast, I asked if I could tag along. Jeffrey said sure.
When we arrived at the studio, Jeffrey sent me to wait in the greenroom, where I encountered a producer who was not happy that I was there. She was understandably protective of the show’s guests and indicated it was not a venue for “fans” to meet celebrities. I apologized and said nothing else.
Just as we finished our awkward exchange, Jack Black walked down the hallway with his agent, publicist, and assistant and Jeffrey Lyons. The production woman shot me a quick scowl and quickly positioned herself between me and Jack.
Then Jeffrey spoke. “Jack, I’d like you to meet my good friend John Williams from the National SCRABBLE Assoc—”
Jack Black’s usual animated face became ever more animated. “John Williams! Oh, my God. Your book Everything SCRABBLE® is like my Bible!” Jack turned to the group. “He not only runs the SCRABBLE Association, he’s a great player in his own right.”
It goes without saying I was feeling pretty good about this. I turned to the production woman, whose facial expression was somewhere between mortified and livid. I didn’t have to say a word. Instead, Jack Black looked directly at her and spoke. “Is it okay if John comes out on the set with us? I’d like to talk SCRABBLE with him while we wait to go on the air.”
She avoided my gaze completely. “Of course,” she said with newfound enthusiasm.
13
JIMMY KIMMEL SPELLS IT OUT
WITHOUT QUESTION, OUR MOST MEANINGFUL HOLLYWOOD relationship was with Jimmy Kimmel Live! The exposure would hugely benefit our School SCRABBLE Program and the National School SCRABBLE Championship. The catalyst in all this was Jimmy’s brilliant producer Jill Leiderman. She had left a s
imilar position at Late Night with David Letterman to take over Jimmy’s show when it was still struggling in ratings after the launch.
Through talent, perseverance, and patience, Jimmy and Jill went on to build the show into the highly successful entity it is today. So we were understandably thrilled when it was proposed in 2007 that Jimmy challenge the newly crowned National School SCRABBLE champions to a SCRABBLE match on the show.
As it turned out, that championship team, Aune Mitchell and Matthew Silver, was historical. She was the only female ever to play on a winning NSSC team, and Matthew was the first to win two NSSCs—each with a different partner.
Jimmy Kimmel is a serious SCRABBLE player. That had been made apparent to me previously in LA at a St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital celebrity SCRABBLE tournament, where he was the winner and damn proud of it. So I knew he had no intention of taking it easy on the kids. Plus, the kids would be in for some good-natured trash-talking from Jimmy, as that’s what the show is all about. No problem.
However, we did have one concern. Jimmy and the kids would be playing a “lightning round” version of SCRABBLE: the first side to reach 150 points would win. While I had little doubt the kids were much better players—sorry, Jimmy—this format would overemphasize the luck factor should someone get great tiles early.
And that’s exactly what happened. Jimmy and his partner, Joe Rogan of Fear Factor fame, got the tiles to play the word SPACERS for 76 points for an early, ultimately insurmountable, lead. Graciously, Jimmy acknowledged this.
To the show’s credit, the format was changed going forward to reduce the luck factor, and the contests immediately became closer. There were other changes as well. One was the oversized, customized SCRABBLE board the show’s prop department designed and built for play. I’ve seen scores of custom-made boards over the years, and this was one of the most impressive in regard to both size and craftsmanship.
Another change was adding me to the segment as the official judge and word authority in case there were any challenges. While I’d been on television many times, I knew this would be more demanding for a couple of reasons. First, I would be responsible for verifying the score after each turn, which could be a heady prospect in a fast-paced game in front of a live studio audience. Second, I would be another person onstage to be a target for Jimmy’s barbs. In other words, there was the potential for me to look stupid in any number of ways!
I didn’t disappoint. It turned out that my vantage point to see the plays—behind an elevated podium a few feet away—was less than perfect. I also couldn’t calculate the score quickly, or always accurately, because all the bonus squares were covered immediately by the play. So I was struggling to remember where, say, the double-letter square was while doing math in my head at the same time. On national television.
This scenario was compounded by the fact that the players knew their scores—and announced them aloud—the moment they made the play. So I was playing catch-up, which made for awkward dead-air time. At one point, as I struggled to verify the play, Jimmy looked over to me and said, “John, you’re pretty much useless up here, aren’t you?” The audience howled.
■ ■ ■
Our trips to LA and the Kimmel show were always highlighted by the time the kid champs and I spent hanging out poolside at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, surely one of the most surreal and decadent spots in the country.
The pool area at the Hollywood Roosevelt is right out of a movie—literally. You’ve seen it dozens of times on television shows such as Entourage and in numerous films. The hotel is usually utilized to make a statement about, or at least establish an atmosphere of, Hollywood hedonism. There are dozens of beautiful young women in scant swimsuits and an equal number of toned young men. There are also the obligatory band members and their groupies. The musicians are invariably the pale, gaunt, bearded guys off in the corner—working-class English accents optional.
Two demographics not represented at the Hollywood Roosevelt pool scene are preteen SCRABBLE experts and sixty-year-old white guys. In other words, us. So one of my favorite things to do every year was to head down to the pool with the kids and set up a game of SCRABBLE right in the middle of all this. I should add the pool is packed pretty much every day, all day long. I’m not sure what all these people do for work. In fact, hardly anyone even swims. They are there to be seen.
With the exception of that first year, the team of young SCRABBLE champions was always boys, around twelve or thirteen years old. It goes without saying that none of them have ever seen anything quite like this scene. While I hoped the distraction of all these young women would give me an advantage in our poolside match, it rarely happened. It takes more than a string bikini or wet T-shirt to break the focus of these young word wizards.
Invariably people would drift over, mostly wondering who we were and why the hell we are there. As soon as they spotted the SCRABBLE board, the questions and comments started.
“Oh, SCRABBLE, I used to play with my grandmother. Then she died, so we stopped playing.”
“Is this like Words with Friends?”
“Are these kids, like, good at this?”
“I see a word!”
When I told them who the kids were and that we were going to appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, their interest went up a few degrees. Among the comments after this revelation:
“Do you know Jimmy?”
“Can I get tickets?”
“Who else is on the show tonight?”
“My cousin is in a band. Can you give Jimmy their CD for me?”
■ ■ ■
Rehearsals were always fun. The kids and their parents would go over to the studio for a tour, and then we’d sit down and work out the segment. Jimmy wasn’t around for this, of course, but his producer Josh Weintraub stood in for him as we rehearsed. Josh is damn funny in his own right and put the kids—and their parents—at ease.
The entire staff at the Kimmel show was the best I ever worked with in twenty-five years of doing both media appearances and television production. Their attention to detail, their consideration, their attitude, and their professionalism were exceptional, from the security guard at the door to Jimmy himself. They had two goals: make it a great experience for the kids and make good television. Oh yeah, having Jimmy emerge victorious might be a third priority.
Josh would tell the kids up front that Jimmy was going to tease them and give them a lot of good-natured ribbing. After the first year or two, the kids pretty much knew this from seeing previous shows, and they were cool with it.
Josh actually encouraged the kids to give it back to Jimmy, and sometimes they did. One year, Jimmy asked two-time winners Andy Hoang and Erik Salgado if their victory had been a big news story in their home state of North Carolina. “Yeah,” Andy piped up, “we were right there on the front page of the newspaper along with war, death, and all that stuff.” Both the audience and Jimmy cracked up.
Perhaps the most dramatic exchanges came from the 2010 champ, Bradley Robbins from New Hampshire. Bradley was one of the better young NSSC players of all time. He was also painfully shy, quiet, and not especially animated. But we all witnessed a metamorphosis of Jekyll-and-Hyde proportions when it was show time.
I’m not sure whether it was Josh Weintraub’s enthusiastic coaching, but it was a very different young Bradley Robbins who sat across the SCRABBLE board from Jimmy Kimmel that night. Bradley fired back at every quip Jimmy made with a pretty good comeback of his own. His partner, Evan McCarthy, almost did a double take on the third exchange. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but basically Jimmy had made a scoring mistake and Bradley suggested the talk show host brush up on his basic math in addition to his spelling skills. It was spontaneous and fun to watch.
Some people in the SCRABBLE community thought Bradley had crossed the line in being too sassy. But he was only doing what he’d been coached to do. He’d also reached deep into himself and found something neither he nor us knew was there. Jimmy took
it all in stride. However, I did have one parent of a potential School Champion express reluctance to have her child on the show. “I don’t want him to do what Bradley Robbins was encouraged to do,” she told me.
Several years later, Bradley Robbins plays tournament SCRABBLE on the adult circuit, but he’s moved on to other things as well. He goes by the name of Brad and is an aspiring rapper.
As I write this, I know my career as a Jimmy Kimmel Live! guest is over. But I’ll be forever thankful to Jimmy and the show for giving us a chance to showcase both our national School SCRABBLE Program and the remarkable student champions.
■ ■ ■
All this reminds me of my one television appearance that did not happen. That would be in 2004 when I was asked about being on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The circumstances were less than ideal. It was the offensive-words topic all over again.
It began at the 2004 National SCRABBLE Championship in New Orleans. It was, in fact, the only time we ever had an NSC on ESPN. During our preproduction meetings the issue of having potentially offensive words on television came up. After discussions, it was agreed with veteran ESPN producer David Stern that we would handle it in the following manner: during the twenty-eight games leading up to the televised finals, the players could play any words they wanted, but for the finals, ESPN—and the NSA—would have to impose a ban on certain words.
These were the same words disallowed for the kids’ championship, most of which coincided with a list of words the network had banned on its own. Predictably, most everyone thought this was absurd, but that was the reality if we were going to have SCRABBLE on television.
Of particular interest and amusement was the word REDSKINS. An ethnic slur, it had been a no-no on the SCRABBLE offensive-words list since day one. But ESPN used the word routinely when reporting about the pro football team of the same name. So the dilemma arose as to the acceptability of REDSKINS for the telecast. As the old saying goes, you can’t make this stuff up. As I write this, ten years later, the Washington team is under increased pressure to change its name. Most feel it’s only a matter of time.
Word Nerd: Dispatches From the Games, Grammar, and Geek Underground Page 12