Just please don’t let this ever end. I can’t live without her.
His eyes flew open at the thought. He was in far too deep, and there was no way anyone could throw him a lifeline. He’d just have to hope he could find a way to convince Valerie to stay. Because he could no longer imagine a life without her.
12
Valerie felt an odd sensation running through her, humming just under her skin and inside her nails as she sank them into Wyatt’s back, clawing a pattern and marking her pleasure.
Everything he did to her felt amazing, and watching him go with her, seeing him desperate to give her pleasure even as she wanted to watch him come, had been hotter than she could have ever imagined.
At the same time, as he held her, so tight his whole body tensed as water splashed and streamed over them, she could tell he was serious about this.
Doubt niggled at her, making her wonder if she’d made a mistake, pushing him into this.
She didn’t want anything long term, though she was rethinking it the more she experienced this mind-blowing pleasure and how good it felt to be in his arms.
She couldn’t imagine promising herself to anyone. Being with them forever. But she also couldn’t imagine ever being without this, unable to do it with Wyatt.
She had a feeling no one else would ever feel this good.
She still didn’t know about men in general, and she still knew freedom was most important to her.
But she also knew she liked Wyatt, and he made things that had always seemed awful suddenly seem good and plausible.
She shook her head and held him closer. Perhaps if they just stayed like this, wet, in the shower, with the silence and the steam and the running water, they’d never have to face the consequences of what they’d done, emotional or otherwise.
She wished she could promise him staying forever and being the perfect little ranch wife. But she was too afraid anyone wanting to claim her would turn into a monster at some point. Anyone could change. And moreover, what if she changed? She was still waking up inside. What if she thought something was love when it was just a fling, just something she needed while learning to be a full person again?
She was just barely spreading her wings to experience life. She didn’t have time yet to know what she wanted for good or where she would land when she stopped flying.
She could hope it was with Wyatt, but she didn’t know. Perhaps he’d only come into her life to be with her for a moment, to teach her something.
Maybe it was because when she’d first started working there, she’d always told herself to remember it wasn’t long term and Wyatt was being a good friend but nothing more and to not have expectations.
But oddly enough, Wyatt seemed to be the one developing expectations.
And while she didn’t completely dislike it, she just wasn’t ready to meet him in those feelings.
Even if she did care for him, deeply. And think he was the hottest thing in the world.
She finally pulled back, looking up at him. His expression was serious and intent. “Thank you for that,” she said, trying to stay casual.
“Anytime,” he said, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead.
She bit her lip and gave him a hesitant grin. “So time to get ready for the day?”
“Yes,” he said, stepping out of the shower, grabbing a towel and holding it up for her while staying dripping wet himself.
That was another thing about Wyatt. He always put her first. Would they ever have an even relationship if they did get together?
She didn’t want to never know whether she was just his pity project. Someone he was with because he felt sorry for her.
He was the type who liked helping people. He couldn’t help it. What if he was mistaking those kinds of feelings for something more?
She couldn’t risk it.
Things needed to stay simple between them. They could have this, these sexy hot moments they both seemed to enjoy, and no more.
“I’m glad we’re friends, Wyatt,” she said as she took the towel and wrapped herself in it. “I’m glad you’re doing this for me.”
His brow knitted and he froze, then grabbed his own towel and wrapped it around himself. If he was mad, then he was being quiet about it.
She let him lead the way into the bedroom and then waited as he got dressed.
As he did, she could sense his irritation in every movement.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
He snapped his gaze in her direction, golden eyes fiery and backlit. “What do you think is wrong? That’s not something I do with friends.”
She gulped. “I see.”
“I mean, I already agreed to be okay with your lack of commitment, and I’m going to respect your boundaries because I feel lucky to be able to experience these things with you. To show you things you’ve never had, but let’s get one thing straight. We were friends. Now we’re lovers. Friends don’t do what we just did.”
She nodded slowly. “Okay.”
He narrowed his eyes, looking like he wanted to say something but was still deciding if he should. “And one other thing. As long as we’re doing this, for as long as we do it, I don’t want you having other ‘friends’ that you’d do this with. It’s not safe.”
She narrowed her own eyes in response. The warm arousal in her body faded as she tightened up. “So let me get this straight. We’re not committed, but you’re saying I can’t be with anyone else.”
“I can’t do it,” he said. “I can do this, but no more. If you want to be with someone else, then just stop things between us.”
She supposed that was fair, though it made her feel uncertain and triggery when anyone made a claim on her.
She knew she was already pushing Wyatt, so she agreed. “Okay,” she said. “I can do that.”
He sighed in relief.
Wyatt wasn’t Lyle, she reassured herself. Wyatt wasn’t going to try to force her or hit her for not doing what he wanted, all the while asserting she was his and he made the rules.
But her thumping heart didn’t seem to know that. Without total freedom, she felt cramped.
But she would try to stretch herself to be okay with just a little rule. After all, she could always say no to Wyatt if she really felt like she needed to be free to be with whoever she wanted.
Wyatt was just saying if she wanted him, she needed to only want him.
And since she only wanted him anyhow, it worked.
So why did she still feel tense and nervous?
“I’ll need to go to my place and get some clothes if we’re going up to the ranch,” she said.
He cocked his head, seeming to have forgotten. “Oh, right. I’ll give you something to wear over there, and after you’re ready, we’ll go.” He thought for a second and then grinned. “And we’ll grab breakfast on the way down.”
“Sounds good to me,” she said, sitting on the bed as he handed her clothing.
She felt her body slowly relax and took deep breaths to help it along.
Everything was new and frightening, but that didn’t mean it was bad.
And she hoped if she just trusted Wyatt, everything would fall into place.
* * *
The McAllister ranch was about as different from Wyatt’s as could be. Valerie had called up here before when she’d been looking for a job but hadn’t bothered to ride up because they’d said they didn’t need anyone.
It was huge, sprawling across many acres of beautiful land, but the buildings were simple and plain, some of them fairly old but well made. The whole place had a warm, rustic feel that very much made you feel like you were at a genuine ranch in the mountains.
Wyatt’s was amazing but more of a themed resort than a true ranch. Wyatt liked it that way, though. He’d told her before that he liked that he and the McAllisters catered to different clientele and so didn’t really have to worry about competing with each other.
They were driving a four-wheeler together, which had bee
n a lot of fun, with Valerie holding on to Wyatt’s back as they rode along the small path that wound over hills and through the woods to the McAllister ranch.
It was aptly named Bear Haven, as Wyatt had explained that the brothers who lived there were bear shifters. It had made her tense at first, since her experience with shifter males hadn’t been good, but he’d reassured her that each of them had their own mates and were good men.
She had to admit she was curious to see what a healthy mated relationship looked like.
And the bears had apparently mated humans. That was another thing she found interesting.
As they slowed their four-wheeler and parked it in front of the lodge, they saw a couple walking toward them out of the shade of the woods.
The woman was dark-skinned, with beautiful curls pulled back in a loose bun. She was wearing loose flannel and jeans and cowboy boots but had a bearing about her that was sophisticated and smart.
Val would guess she wasn’t from around here.
Next to her was one of the biggest men she’d ever seen. He was around Wyatt’s height, maybe slightly shorter, but very broad through the shoulders, thick everywhere. He had dark hair and dark piercing eyes and rugged features that would have made him a good lead in one of those old westerns where the hero is barely civilized.
There was a feral, defensive glint in his eyes that only softened as he looked down at the woman next to him.
“That’s Harmony and Maverick,” Wyatt said, raising a hand and waiving to them.
Maverick narrowed his eyes and put a hand up to shield them, then waved back.
Val let out a sigh of relief that they really were friends.
“They’re newly mated. And she found out she was pregnant right around the time you came by the ranch.”
“Cool,” she said, running a hand over her stomach subconsciously. What would that be like? Giving her whole body over to someone else?
She couldn’t imagine.
“Heard you were coming,” Maverick said in a voice that was as gruff as his appearance. But his grin was apparent as he pulled Wyatt into a bear hug and then let him go. “The others are already waiting in the lodge. We’re a little… late.” He gave Harmony a naughty look, and she elbowed him in the ribs and walked ahead.
She linked an arm through Val’s, surprising her, and leaned in with a conspiratorial whisper. “I’m glad you’re here. You’re going to need girlfriends if you’re going to deal with these Montana men for any length of time.”
It was very foreign, being arm in arm with another woman. Someone soft and feminine like her. Val found herself blushing at Harmony’s forwardness, but she also liked it. She felt safe with her for some reason.
“And you need to stop spreading our business around, you big bear!” she yelled at Mav, who was looking sheepish as he followed behind them with Wyatt.
Maybe she liked Harmony because she said whatever she thought. Full honesty. Val had always thought that was a good thing in a person.
They walked up the steps and into the main lodge, all made of logs. It was well crafted, beautiful, and old and had the feeling of something that would stand for a lot of years, after they were all gone.
There was also an undeniable feeling of home.
They turned right once inside and went into a huge dining hall. At the back, seated at the table, were two other couples.
One of the women had fiery red hair, and she was sitting next to a man with blond hair tied back in a short ponytail. He was handsome in a way that was almost beautiful but masculine like all male shifters seemed to be.
The other couple consisted of a woman with pale-blond hair and even paler skin with light-blue eyes and a man with tanned skin and dark hair but deep-blue eyes. He had handsome features that were a more refined version of Maverick’s. She could definitely tell they were brothers.
Wyatt came around them and led the way to the table. “This is Ruby and her mate, Shane,” he said, pointing to the blonde and the dark-haired man. “And this is Bonnie and Jesse,” he said, pointing to the other couple.
Each stood up to shake her hand. Jesse was last of all, and he came around the table to look down at her. When he took her hand, he took it in both of his and froze as he looked at her.
She froze as well as she got a closer look at his face.
“You…” she said, trailing off.
“I know,” he said. “It’s unbelievable.”
Wyatt scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “This is who I wanted you to meet,” he said. “I hoped you two might hit it off.”
Bonnie looked a little too curious, so Jesse backed up, still staring at Valerie but walking around the table to sit next to his mate again and put his arms around her shoulders.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” he said.
“What is it?” Val asked.
“You look like me,” he said.
“You look like me,” she retorted. Though her hair was a little less blond than Jesse’s and his eyes were a little lighter than hers, they had the same straight nose, the same pointed chin, though his was paired with a longer, masculine jaw.
The same slight scattering of freckles.
The same dark-blue ring around the inside of their otherwise light eyes.
“Go ahead and sit,” Wyatt said, placing his hand gently on her back in a move that had all of the McAllisters looking at him curiously. “Fanny will be bringing out lunch soon. Might as well relax.”
“Where are you from?” Jesse asked. “I want to know everything about you.”
She shrugged. “Up in the mountains. They’re crossbreeding cougars with humans up there. Cougars with anything, I guess.”
Jesse’s face darkened for a moment. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“They aren’t good people,” she said.
Jesse was quiet for a moment. “So your mother was a human?”
“Yes,” she said. “Your father was a bear?”
He nodded. “So how does that work?”
“Easy,” Harmony said. “Your mother could have been her father’s sister. You could be cousins.”
Val nodded. “I guess that could be true. My dad did have a sister, but she ran away when she was younger. Went down into town, met someone. I guess that was your dad.”
“My dad went with a lot of women,” Jesse said, shrugging. “We aren’t exactly proud of it, but it made us the family we are. I admit, when Wyatt told me about you, I was kind of hoping I had a long-lost sister.”
She nodded. “That’d be nice.”
“Well, you’re family if you want to be,” Maverick said bluntly. “Especially if you’re hooking up with Wyatt.” Both of Maverick’s brothers shot him looks of censure, but the big man ignored them. “I mean, if you’re going to live out here you gotta have friends. And Wyatt’s ranch can get awfully lonely. Consider this your second home,” he said.
She twisted her hands in her lap, sensing Wyatt tensing next to her. “I don’t know how long I’m staying.”
“Right now she’s just trying to avoid the people her father sold her to,” Wyatt said.
Jesse’s eyebrows snapped down. “What do you mean?” He looked at Shane. “Why wasn’t I told about this?”
Shane shook his head. “I knew you’d freak out. We decided to let you meet her first. Let her or Wyatt tell you. So you didn’t treat her different.”
“She’s my cousin,” Jesse said. “If someone’s abusing her…”
“No one is abusing her, so calm down,” Wyatt said. “Unless you count me hogging her to myself as help for the horses. She’s amazing with them.”
“Really?” Maverick asked. “Wait, now I know why your voice sounds familiar. Didn’t you call asking about a job?”
She nodded, flushing. “I did. But I found a position elsewhere, so don’t worry about it.”
Maverick grinned again. “Yeah, you did.” Wyatt punched him in the shoulder and he pouted. “What was that for?”
“For giving us th
at weird-ass look,” he said, frowning.
Valerie grinned and looked down as the food came. It was served by a woman named Fanny, who was curvy and pretty, with an apron tied over her ample waist. She had dark hair laced with gray and a face that had experienced a lot of smiles.
She gave Valerie a little side hug as she served her. “Glad to have you here, honey. Someone needs to get that cat to settle down.”
Wyatt opened his mouth to correct her, but she was already gone, swishing back to the kitchen with a wave.
“Wow,” she muttered in a low voice for only him to hear, as the others talked about the past week on the ranch. “They all seem eager to hook you up.”
He shrugged. “They’re all happy and they want others to be happy.”
“Except Fanny,” Val said. “We should introduce her to Wayne.”
Wyatt gave her a sidelong glare, tilting his head. Then he broke into a smile. “You know, I never thought of it that way. You’re really thoughtful sometimes, you know that?”
She turned to her soup, pulling off a piece of bread to dip in it. “I just see things other people don’t sometimes.”
Wyatt nodded and put a hand on her leg, removing it when she tensed.
As much as she liked his touch, she didn’t want possessive gestures in public. She didn’t want to be known as his so much as she wanted to be known as herself.
“So,” Wyatt said. “How are the pregnancies going?”
Ruby and Harmony both gave him a grin. “Not too bad,” Ruby said. “Considering it’s a bear shifter in there.”
“And as for me, I’m only a month and a half along,” Harmony said. “So I can’t really say. I haven’t been barfy though, so…”
Maverick wrinkled his nose but laughed when Harmony elbowed him again.
Bonnie was quiet, and Valerie studied her with concern. Bonnie looked down at her hands, where she was twisting her napkin, and then looked up to face the group, eyes bright with emotion.
“And we… just had a positive test. I know we’re supposed to wait until twelve weeks, but we just had to share. We know you’ve all been worried.”
There were whoops and yells, and she and Wyatt watched as the McAllisters embraced.
Mountain Lion (Bear Haven Book 4) Page 9