by Jayna King
I was going to have to face Joker, Zeno, and any of Don Roberto's men who happened to be at Lupita's when I returned. I had to go back. My bike was parked there, and I had to find a way to secure it while I'd be out of town with the girls. I also didn't have any clothes except the ones I wore on my back, and since I was a least half a foot taller than any of the Mexican men I'd met, I knew I needed to get my own clothes.
"I'll be back," I said, kissing Maria goodbye at the door.
***
"Where the fuck have you been?"
Zeno's voice greeted me as soon as I stepped through the door of Lupita's. The room was dark compared to the bright sun outside, and it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust and see that both Zeno and Joker were sitting at the bar along the back wall. A few other men occupied tables in the center of the room, and all of them had turned to look at me as I entered.
I wasn't about to get into an argument with my brothers in front of men who certainly worked for Don Roberto. "Let's go upstairs. We need to talk."
I turned without a word and headed upstairs, intending to go to the room I'd been given two nights before. I hoped that my brothers would follow me. I was pleased to open the door and still see my things there, and I pulled out some clean clothes and made sure that everything else was packed so that I could leave quickly, if necessary.
Joker and Zeno entered the room.
"I'm gonna need to take off for a few days, and I need the two of you to keep an eye on my bike for me. Where I'm going, I need to rent a car."
Joker looked at me like I'd grown a second head. "You mind telling us what the fuck is going on?"
Zeno sat down on one of the chairs. I didn't expect him to say much, so I was surprised when he began to speak. "Moses, Don Roberto was really pissed that you walked out of the meeting."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Are you fucking kidding me? He offered you an underage girl to rape. The appropriate response to that is to get up and walk the fuck out."
"Moses, calm down." Joker sat down on the bed and lit a cigarette. "We agreed that we'd consider the Don's offer if it was really big money. I think we're talking really big money, here. Do you have any idea how much money people would be willing to pay for a Mexican virgin who's been taught how to suck dick? That's the thing. These girls are going to be worth a fucking fortune to us. And they'll help us expand our meth biz."
Zeno actually seemed to agree. "These girls are gonna grow up to be whores anyway, man. We're just gonna get them before their value drops. And the Don says they're all clean. They don't use, so that will solve some of our problems with girls getting hooked on the crank."
I looked from one man to the other and back again. When I spoke, my voice was carefully, deliberately quiet and calm. "Are you telling me that you both think it's a good idea to take little girls and sell them to men who are going to rape them and take their virginity?"
"C'mon, man," Joker said. "You can't rape a fucking prostitute. That's what these girls are."
"No. They're children, you fucking pervert. They're little girls, and you want to turn them into prostitutes. Can't you see that's wrong?"
"You're splittin' hairs, man. They're gonna be hookers whether we're the ones making money off them or not. Why should someone else be getting rich? We have a big opportunity here, Moses." Joker must have actually thought that he could persuade me. "And you know that sample the Don offered to let us try? Let's just say that you ain't never fucked a pussy that tight, man. One taste of it, and you're gonna want virgins for life, man. Trust me. Don Roberto took good care of me last night."
I looked at my uncle -- the man who in some ways had taken the place of my father -- and I couldn't believe what I'd just heard.
"I gotta take a leak," I said, leaving the room before I exploded. I walked down the hallway to the bathroom, shut the door, and looked at myself in the mirror. I knew I wasn't going crazy, but I couldn't figure out how the fuck both Joker and Zeno thought that Don Roberto's proposal was a good idea. I knew that my perspective had changed because I actually liked Maria ... and because I'd met and been charmed by one of the girls that Don Roberto would turn into a whore, but the fact that my eyes had been opened didn't explain away the fact that it appeared that both of my brothers were prepared to do something that I believed was completely, totally, one hundred percent wrong. And if I'd understood Joker right, he'd just fucked one of these girls the night before. While I'd been planning an escape for Maria and Nadia, he'd been doing exactly what I was trying to prevent.
"I can't let this happen," I said to my reflection. "I have to find a way to stop it."
I walked back into my room, prepared to just lay it out for Joker and Zeno, but I stopped in my tracks when I saw Luis in the room.
"Moses," he said. "I'm glad to see that you're alive and well. This city can be dangerous. You should be careful when you're out there on your own. Not everyone is as friendly as Don Roberto."
Wow. "Friendly" was not a word I'd apply to the head of the cartel, but I wasn't going to quibble over word choice.
"I'm just fine. Have been exploring a little," I said, having no intention of elaborating any further.
"I have been meaning to ask you ... but of course I haven't seen you ... did you enjoy your evening with Encantada?"
I could tell that the question was loaded, that my answer could spell trouble for both me and for the two women I was trying to save. I decided to say as little as possible. "I did. She's a lovely woman."
"No complaints about her?" he asked, clearly fishing for information.
"Not a one," I replied, betraying nothing in my expression. If he wanted to know something, I was gonna make him come out in the open and ask the question.
He didn't. "Glad to hear it. Don Roberto and I value your friendship, and we want to make sure you enjoy your visit to our little town."
I really wanted to kill him. Knowing all that he'd done to Maria made me see red, but I had to control myself.
Luis turned to Joker. "Don Roberto has made a trip here to meet with the three of you. Apparently, there is some business that wasn't satisfactorily concluded yesterday?"
"We were just discussing that," I interrupted. "Could we have a little privacy?"
"I'm afraid that Don Roberto is already here, and he is not a man that one keeps waiting."
I sighed, exasperated by the degree that we were being herded into a discussion when we hadn't even settled things among ourselves. I didn't want to publicly disagree with my brothers. That wasn't the way we did things in the MC. We presented a united front and backed one another up, but I couldn't support what Joker and Zeno wanted to do.
"Moses, I think you'll feel better about things after you talk to the Don," Joker said as he stood up. "Let's go."
He and Luis went out into the hallway first, and I put a hand on Zeno's arm, figuring that he was my best shot at an ally.
"Dude, what the fuck are you thinking?"
Zeno looked at me, and I could see some uncertainty in his eyes. "I don't know, man. I think we could make a lot of money, and I would love to have some senoritas around full-time."
"But little girls? You know that ain't right, man."
He hung his head. "I guess I do. Maybe was can just agree to bring in women over eighteen. I wonder if Don Roberto would agree to that."
"Gentlemen?" Luis stuck his head back into the doorway. "The Don awaits you."
We went downstairs and Luis led us to a little office off of the main room. Don Roberto stood in the corner, smoking a cigar. He didn't say a word as we filed into the room. I was so angry that I could hardly stand still, but I knew that I had to pay attention and be smart if I wanted to walk out of Lupita's alive.
"So, you have sampled my wares, Joker, have you not?" Don Roberto asked, his voice sounding relaxed and calm -- as if he were discussing the most mundane of topics.
"Yes, sir," Joker answered. "And you're gonna make us richer than I'd ever imagined. We're gonna ha
ve people standing in line to get a piece of our sweet young things."
"So it is agreed, then. We will provide you with your methamphetamine supplies, and a number -- to be determined -- of lovely, young virgins." The Don walked over to the desk and sat down. "We all agree?" He looked at me and Zeno, and I swear that he knew what my answer would be.
"We do not agree," I said, holding on to the last shred of my self-control. "The Savage Sons will not be selling young girls, Don Roberto. We don't make decisions like this without a vote, and we are only three members. I'm afraid we don't have a deal."
Don Roberto raised a single eyebrow and looked at Joker. "You are the presidente, are you not?" he asked, implying that Joker should control his men better.
Joker looked at me and I could tell that he was pissed. He wasn't as touchy as Bug was about his authority, but he didn't like to be challenged in public. "Don Roberto," he said, turning his attention to the powerful man at the desk. "I will get this voted on, and I will get it approved. Whether one member likes it or not, if the rest of us agree, then you've got yourself a deal. I'll deal with my members my own way."
Was the man out of his mind?
"I am pleased that we are in agreement..." Don Roberto began.
"We do not have a deal," I said, starting to pace around the floor of the little room, unable to contain my anger. "This is wrong, and we're not gonna do it, Joker."
The glare on my uncle's face made him all but unrecognizable.
"Zeno," I said. "What do you think?"
I could see that Zeno didn't want to be put on the spot, but this was too important.
"I think we should focus on adult hookers," he said, avoiding eye contact with the Don and with Joker.
"See!" I shouted. "You don't even have a majority among the three of us! Joker, we can't go ahead with this. It's not gonna happen."
Don Roberto appeared not to notice my outburst, and in fact he seemed to be completely ignoring what I said. "Perhaps if we sent some sample girls to you, you could persuade your other members, Joker."
Joker ignored me as well. "We would be happy to accept samples. I think the brothers would enjoy making their decision after having tested the merchandise."
I felt like I was in some alternate universe, where nothing was working like it was supposed to -- where no one behaved the way I expected. "Not going to happen. Joker, Don Roberto, I'm going to make this as simple as possible for you both." I waited until both men reluctantly looked my way. "I will not let this happen. I will stop you, no matter what. Even if I have to call the police, the DEA, the FBI, the Mexican government ... I will put a stop to this. It's wrong, and it's not going to happen anymore. Not with the Sons, and not with anyone else."
Luis spoke for the first time since we'd entered the room. "Don Roberto, would you like me to handle the matter we discussed earlier?"
The Don nodded silently, and Luis left the room without another word. I stood in the center of the room, unsure what my future held, but certain that I was doing the right thing. If a man can't stand up for the rights of innocent young girls who can't defend themselves, then he's not much of a man.
Don Roberto looked at me for what felt like a full minute before he spoke. "Moses, is there anything I can do to change your mind? Perhaps something of value that I possess, that you desire?"
I sensed that he'd given up, that he'd accepted that I wasn't going to change my mind and he was simply offering one more time as an attempt to save face. "There is nothing that could possibly change my mind. Either you stop selling underage girls, or I will stop you myself, in my own way."
He nodded, as if I'd given him the answer he expected. "Then I suppose we have nothing more to say to one another. You may enjoy my hospitality for the rest of the today and this evening, but I will expect you to move on tomorrow morning. Is that clear?"
Joker shook his head and looked at me with disgust, clearly too pissed even to answer."
"Clear," I said, and I turned toward the door.
"Moses, I would speak with you privately for just a moment." It wasn't a question.
Joker and Zeno left the room and I turned to face the Don.
"Moses, you remind me of myself when I was a much younger man." He paused, but I had no intention of having any further conversation with him. "I was foolish and hot-headed. I thought I knew better than my father, better than my uncles, better than anyone else. As I got older, I learned that it isn't without penalty that we ignore the advice of our elders. I learned that sometimes, it is better to agree and get what you can out of a deal. Otherwise, you end up hurting people you had no intention of hurting."
He leaned forward in his chair. "Moses, nothing you do is without consequences. I see what you're trying to do, and I am telling you that you will regret it."
"So you think that by threatening me that you can change my mind?"
He shook his head. "No. Not at all. In fact, even if you didn't change your mind, it's already too late. You will learn this lesson the hard way, I'm afraid."
Chapter 11
Maria
I could still feel Moses' lips on mine as I rushed around the apartment spending the day in an attempt to round up all of the things we might need. It didn't help that I had no idea how long we'd be gone, but I did the best I could. I kept an eye on the clock, watching for the time when Nadia would arrive home from school.
One of the things I had to decide was what I should tell her. I couldn't tell her that Don Roberto wanted to turn her in to a whore like her mother, so I just figured that I should tell her that there was some non-specific threat of cartel violence spilling into our lives. What mattered most was that we get out of Juarez as quickly as possible.
I spent the day packing and worrying. And hoping. I hardly dared to let myself feel hope, but I couldn't help it. I was taking a step toward getting out of the trap I'd been in for so many years, and I couldn't help looking forward -- imagining a future in the U.S. with Moses. Picturing Nadia at a good school, going to college, and never knowing what I had done to take care of her. She could grow up safe and completely free of the cartel and the trap of having to sell her body to survive.
But first we had to get out of Juarez.
Hoping that Moses hadn't had any trouble with his MC brothers or with Luis, I looked at the piles of bags on the couch and hoped that the car he'd rented would have a large enough trunk. I took a deep breath and looked around the apartment, realizing for the first time that today might be the last time I ever saw it. I hadn't even thought about taking anything other than the necessities, and I felt panicked as I realized that I was really about to leave my whole life behind.
I walked over to the shrine on the wall, and I looked at the faces in the photographs. So many young men and women whose lives had been cut short because they'd had no other options. I quickly took each photograph down and stowed them in my purse. It would be good to have a reminder of how far we'd come and how much sorrow we'd escaped. Trying to picture Moses' house that looked out onto the mountains, I imagined pulling the photographs out of an envelope many years from now, and I wondered if I would still remember the names that went with each face. I knew I'd remember the tragedy, even if I forgot the names.
Looking around the apartment, I realized that I couldn't take everything. What I'd packed would have to do. I showered and put on clean, comfortable clothes for the drive, and I made myself another cup of coffee, unable to sit still while I waited for Nadia and Moses. I thought about walking to the school to go get Nadia, but I decided that I didn't want Moses to get there and think I'd gotten scared and backed out. Better to stay where I was so that both of them would be able to find me.
I drank my coffee and stared at the clock, watching the time that Nadia usually arrived home approach ... and pass. Becoming increasingly worried, I forced myself to wait until a full thirty minutes had elapsed. It wasn't all that uncommon for her to stop and talk with her friends after school, and the last thing I wanted was to rush
out the door, only to embarrass her in front of her friends.
Thirty minutes.
Thirty-five minutes.
"That's long enough," I said, grabbing my purse and heading for the door.
I opened the door, and at first I simply couldn't process what I saw. Something blocked my way, preventing me from stepping outside. I know that I recognized it right away, but my mind just wouldn't let me make the connection. I saw the plaid skirt that I'd ironed the afternoon before. I saw the backpack that was starting to wear out along the straps. I saw the navy blue ribbon that Nadia liked to tie in her dark, wavy hair. I saw all of those things, but I couldn't put the pieces together for several minutes. The longest minutes of my life.
I was looking at the body of my precious Nadia.
I shook my head, clearing the fog that had descended on me, and I fell to my knees, hoping that she was breathing, but knowing that she was not. I turned her over, and I think I must have screamed when I saw the bruises and tears that marked her face. I ran my hands over her -- the girl that I had carried, nursed, and kissed every day of her life, but her limbs were lifeless.
Somehow, I started to notice more details, even through the desperate cries that I could feel burning my throat. I saw marks on her arms, handprints of the men who had held her. I saw blood between her thighs, and I knew that not only was my daughter gone forever, but she had suffered in her last minutes. She had been raped and had been beaten, and then she had been killed.
***
Thursday, September 26, 2013
I looked at Luke and Krystal sitting in my living room -- the same living room I'd tried to leave a year-and-a-half before. I'd told them the story of Moses and how he'd tried to help, but I hadn't yet told them how things had ended.