by Dani René
It’s masochistic. But it also forces me to admit that I’m alive, that I can feel. After I left the city, I promised myself to shut everything out. I had a job to do, and nothing was going to stand in my way, but then she walked into my classroom.
I reach for my phone on the nightstand. Unlocking it, I flip through the numbers, until I reach hers. It’s meant to be used professionally. For emergencies at school or checking to see if she’s okay if at any point she’s not in class, but I find myself tapping out a message that has nothing to do with homework.
Elian: Are you spending the weekend reading or partying with your friend? E
After I hit send, I grin. Arabella may want to seem innocent, but I have a feeling there’s a vixen under that sultry smirk and those pretty eyes. There’s also a storm raging inside her, one that’s attempting to come out and play. Which makes me want nothing more than to toy with her until she shows me who she really is.
I want to ask about her decision, but it’s only been a few hours. I’m fucking nervous. It’s ridiculous, but the tension twisting in my gut is tight, coiling, waiting for her to say yes or no. I have a feeling she’ll agree to try it out, only because I know her. And she’s got proclivities I never expected.
I’ve studied her file; I know everything there is to know about her. However, her past has nothing to do with why I’m testing her. I want to see how long it takes her to break, to admit she’s playing a game. I want to wrap her around my finger, until she’s begging for mercy. I want to see just how easily she’ll obey. And when I get her down on her knees, I know I’ll only want more. I’ve finally admitted I crave her more than I should, but I can’t stop myself from toying with her.
She won’t find herself in the same trouble she landed in back in the city. I’ll be here, right beside her to keep her in line, along with Ahren. But I do want to test that iron will she seems to possess. My phone vibrates, and I pick it up, only for a smile to curl on my lips.
Arabella: Why? Would you like to join me? Or are you just checking up on me because you like me?
She’s feisty. And I love it. I tap back my response and hit send.
Elian: I’d like to make sure you’re safe. I may not be a nice man, but there are times I consider myself a level-headed adult.
I don’t have to wait long, because the moment it shows delivered, there are dots that dance along the bottom of the screen. I’m tense, holding onto my phone waiting for her message to come through. I haven’t truly allowed myself to do anything as stupid as this for so many years.
I may not be that old, but sometimes, it feels like I’m in my forties. At thirty, I’m at times shocked that I don’t do what I’m sure most men my age do—sleep around with pretty girls who taunt and tease.
Arabella: I wouldn’t call you level-headed, perhaps more … grumpy and rude. And why would you care if I’m safe?
That’s the million-dollar question, sunshine, I think to myself. She’s only a student in my class, but I feel as if I’m invested in her. As if she’s mine to keep safe, she’s mine to look after. But it’s purely instinct on my part. I’m not responsible for her, but I just seem to want to be.
Elian: I’m straightforward, not rude. I’m serious, not grumpy. I don’t know why I want to keep you safe. Perhaps I’m also losing my mind.
The raw honesty in my words scrapes at the inside of my chest. It makes no sense, but I admit how I’m feeling. She’s one of the only people in this world who will get any form of honest emotion out of me. The other being my brother.
Arabella: Is that a show of emotion on your part, Mr. Donati?
I don’t know how to respond. If I say yes, she’ll only think she’s the one in control. And that’s not how this plays out. I’m the one who will take control of this situation. If she wants to play this game with me, I’m the rule master, and she’ll be the pawn.
Elian: Emotions are for people who feel something. I don’t feel. I merely calculate, ensure that what I’m doing will have a positive outcome.
Arabella: And I’m guessing you’re probably lying in bed, messaging me early on a Saturday morning instead of waking up beside a hot woman?
Elian: Who I wake up beside is none of your business.
Arabella: I beg to differ. Because I have a feeling you’d like to be waking up next to me, Mr. Donati. And don’t deny it. I’ve seen how you look at me.
Her message has my body responding, and it has my cock hard. The thought of feeling her silky skin beneath my fingertips is racing through my mind. I can’t help but picture her body bowing as an orgasm takes hold of her. I want to hear her sounds, listen to her beg for mercy, but I’ll deliver none.
Arabella: Did I get that right?
I smile.
I tap out a response.
I hit send.
And then I turn my phone off before we can continue this all weekend. Because I know I could. Her fiery nature has me wanting to talk to her all day every day. She’s mature beyond her nineteen years.
But for now, we’ll stop the game.
13
Arabella
Monday freaking morning.
I didn’t hear anything back from Elian after his message. I’ve been thinking about it, then rethinking about it, and then driving myself crazy. I’ve considered what he said. It’s the only thing I’ve thought about all weekend. And even yesterday, as I wrote my paper for history, I couldn’t shake the thought of seeing Elian in class today.
I didn’t respond to his last message from Saturday morning. But I have read it over and over again, and each time I did, I tried to pick apart our text conversation. It’s strange to even think it, let alone want it, but as I get dressed, I can’t deny there is something appealing about having an older guy crush on me.
I pick up my phone and scroll to his message again. The only reason I do it is to light the fire that rages inside me.
Elian: Don’t flatter yourself, sunshine. You may burn bright, but I’m not blinded by your rays.
I’m not sure why it got to me so much. Perhaps he did it because he wanted to annoy me. Maybe he enjoys seeing me squirm. But I plan to make sure he’s the one who’s barely holding onto his restraint when I walk into his class today.
As I pull on my skirt, I make sure it’s as short as I can get away with at school. Then I slowly run the tights up my legs until they stop just under the hemline. The white button-up is paired with a bright red bra underneath, which shows off my B-cup breasts.
As soon as I step foot in history today, I’m going right to his desk, and I’m going to tell him exactly what I think of him. Frustration burns through me that we can’t be together publicly, not yet anyway. I thought we were making headway with the texts, but then he disappeared, and he didn’t say anything more.
Grabbing my hair tie, I get my long hair over my shoulder, and my fingers move swiftly, braiding the thick, shiny locks almost all the way to the tips before looping the tie a couple of times.
Slipping my feet into my black boots, I tie the laces before I grab my backpack, along with my phone and keys. Even though I usually leave my phone at home, I’m going to need it after school because the plan is not to come home but to go to the Donati house with Ahren.
I can’t stop smiling. For the first time in a while, I’m excited to go to class. I want to see him, to see if he’ll admit what his brother said.
The focus I had put on my loneliness has shifted. When we pulled into town two weeks ago, I didn’t know anyone, and I didn’t expect to have already kissed a boy, and I never in my life would’ve thought an offer like the one that’s been posed to me would be on the table.
Even though I’m looking forward to talking to Elian like an equal, I can’t deny that even over the weekend, there were moments my depression hit me. A silence in the house and not having Aunt Midge home ate away at me. But I put on some loud music and I did my homework.
I will have hard days. They’re not going to suddenly disappear overnight. Even as the
years pass, I know the heartache of losing my dad won’t completely heal. But I’ve learned from mommy dearest how to hide my pain, and that’s what I do. In public, we don’t show pain. We don’t cry. That’s better left for the privacy of my bedroom. She would be so proud, I think, sarcasm dripping from each word.
Sighing, I make my way down the hall. The thought of seeing Elian and Ahren today has me skipping toward the staircase. I do feel like a girl with a crush.
The blue eyes that pierce me from across the class do something to me. The way he stares sets my body aflame. I want to challenge him, to push him out of that cage he’s locked himself in and make him see that these games are nothing more than him trying to be the good guy. But by his own admission, he’s not.
After talking to Ahren on Friday night, I’m on pins and needles to see how this arrangement will play out. Knowing that Elian Donati wants me has butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
I spent two days considering the pros and cons about heading into a relationship with a man forbidden because he’s my teacher. It’s not the first time I’ve been in a situation like this, and I guess I’m going to have to tell them everything about my past if I do this.
And that’s what’s bothering me more than anything.
I don’t want them to judge me. But even as I think it, I know that things could always turn out worse than they were before. Shrugging my backpack on my shoulder, I’m pulling open the door to our house when Aunt Midge appears from her office.
“Darling,” she says. “I hope you’re enjoying being here. I know it’s not easy coming from the city, but the small town is lovely once you get used to it.” When she nears me, I can smell the faint stench of men’s cologne on her. It’s not overly noticeable, but I wonder briefly what she’s been up to. Since I started school, she hasn’t been around much, with work being her excuse.
Even though I know my aunt loves to travel and hates being in one place for too long, I thought since I moved here she’d be more open to spending time with me. Clearly, I was mistaken.
“It’s been okay. I’m getting by,” I tell her. “I’ve missed you.” I lock my gaze on hers, praying she doesn’t give me some excuse again, but she just pulls me into a hug. I’m not sure what the hell is going on with her, but my gut twists with worry. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, of course, I am.” When she steps back, I try my hardest to pinpoint a lie in her gaze, but if it was there before, it’s gone now, though her expression is filled with anxiety. “I’m going to have some friends over for dinner, so if you’re going out, that would be fine,” she tells me. “I don’t mind if you go out. Black Mountain is safe, and I know the kids here are good.”
Nodding, I offer her a smile. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask her again.
Aunt Midge nods. “Yes, darling,” she tells me more confidently this time. “I would tell you if anything was the matter. Now get to school. I don’t want you to be late.” She kisses my forehead in a show of affection I never got from my mother.
When I get to the gate of the estate, I find a bike rumbling, waiting for me, and on it, the man who’s going to twist me around his finger. Ahren grins before pulling off the helmet and handing it to me. Thankfully, I put my hair in a plait this morning. I slip on the helmet and hop onto the back. My arms twine around his middle, and I can’t stop my hands from feeling the rigid muscle under his loose-fitting tee.
“Hold on, pretty girl,” he says before pealing down the road toward the academy.
14
HER
THE PAST
The brightness of the day shimmers in the clear, blue sky, and I bask in the warmth. Laughter and chatter surround me, but I keep my eyes closed. Knowing I’ll be able to see him soon keeps me calm. It’s stupid to crush on him, but I know he’ll want me when he realizes I’m better for him than she is. I would never do the things to him that she does, and all he has to do is see it.
My skin prickles suddenly, and it’s as if he’s right here, touching me, running those long fingers over my bared skin. The bikini is sexy, with bright red strings that hold up the scraps of material covering my important bits.
When I glance to the side, I see him. He’s dressed in a pair of blue shorts that hug tapered hips, and I lick my lips when I notice the chiseled V that’s cut deep into his waistband. For an older man, he’s deliciously tempting, so consider me Eve in the Garden of Eden and him the apple.
They settle onto their blankets as they laugh at something. A picnic basket I’m guessing holds tasty treats along with drinks that bubble beside them. One thing I have noticed is that he doesn’t spare any expense when it comes to food. Even in his own home, while he’s cooking dinner, there are items of only organic quality.
It’s only been two months since I first laid eyes on him. The party pops into mind, and I recall just how his gaze burned into me. It was purely by accident, but the times after were on purpose.
He couldn’t resist the pull of the forbidden, and now neither can I. Desire flits through me at the memory and how the warmth of his body against mine sent me spiraling out of control. I spun around in his arms, and when the music stopped, he didn’t let go. He held on until it was the final moment.
But he had no idea who I was. Even that night, when he tried to call my name, he couldn’t, because I’d vanished like Cinderella on the night of the ball. I didn’t leave a shoe behind, and I most certainly didn’t think I’d be the one to find him.
But here we are.
He grins at her. But he doesn’t lean in to kiss her, which I’m grateful for. They sit back, and I notice how his gaze is on the ocean instead of the woman beside him. She picks up a book, a romance novel I’ve already devoured on my Kindle, and she flips the pages open until she settles back.
They seem like the loving couple most times. But there are those moments I pick up on the animosity that lingers between them. I’m not sure why they may feel like that about each other, but it’s there, thick and heavy.
I smile as I lie back on my towel and close my eyes. Time to catch some rays before I’m meeting a friend. Well, a friend with a multitude of benefits. But he knows, the moment he sinks into my body, it’s a stranger I’m thinking of.
And it’s him I’ll get someday soon.
15
Elian
The familiar rumble gets louder with every passing second, and when it reaches the academy, everyone turns to see my brother pulling into a parking space. His passenger is holding onto him as if he were her lifeline. Annoyance grips me, its fingers cloying at my insides, but it’s only when the passenger pulls the helmet off that my body grows cold with jealousy.
It’s never happened to me before. Ahren and I have had our fun. We’ve also had our agreements, and no other woman has caused me to simmer with the need to possess her like Arabella does. And I don’t know how I’m going to share her with him.
Perhaps it’s time I spoke to Ahren and pulled out of this arrangement. Because if I had to be brutally honest with myself, with my brother, I don’t think I can allow him to have her.
She climbs off the bike as if it’s no bother her being with him. A smile lights up her face, making my chest ache with the need to see her smile like that at me. She hands him back the helmet before planting a kiss on his cheek, which only causes my hands to fist at my sides.
Ahren glances my way, tipping his head in greeting with his smile telling me he’s doing this to rile me up. My decision is made—I don’t want her with my brother. She can’t be with him because he’s bad for her. But then, what does that make me?
Arabella sashays her ass toward me, her eyes sparking with challenge when she reaches me. Her lips are once again glossy and shiny, and I’m tempted to swipe that sticky shit off and give her something to grin about.
“Good morning, Mr. Donati,” she says in a syrupy-sweet voice. The look in her eyes turn my blood hot, my body molten. My hand itches to spank her perfectly rounded ass. She’s toying with me when I�
��m meant to be the one in control.
I follow her. Keeping my distance, I ensure my eyes are on her every second as she makes her way through the throng of students and into homeroom where she has her first class. It’s empty because there’s still fifteen minutes before the bell rings.
“What are you doing?” I stop at the desk where she’s set her backpack down. “I’m done dancing around this thing between us. You want this?” I question, my voice tight with tension. My muscles ache. They’re wound so tight I’m sure they’ll snap if she pushes me further.
“If I say yes, what exactly does that get me?” she asks, a sly grin making her full lips look like a temptation sent straight from hell. If I didn’t know any better, I would be convinced she is the devil incarnate. A succubus here to suck the soul from me. “I like Ahren, and if you want to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with, then perhaps this isn’t going to work after all.”
I lean over her, knowing we could get caught at any moment. Heat sizzles between us when I grip her neck with my fingers wrapping right around the slender column. “Listen to me right fucking now. This isn’t ending here. I say when it’s over.”
“Do you?” Her challenge is clear. She knows she has taken the power.
I’ll allow her that.