“Oh. Yeah. I’m, uh . . .” She glanced around. “I think I’m going to get a cookie before I leave.” She waved awkwardly. “See you next time?”
“Yeah.” Tori nodded. “Guess I’ll be here.”
She was a little surprised to realize she wasn’t lying.
Ani turned Shane’s business card over and over in her hands. She tapped it on the edge of her desk and tried to concentrate on the words on her computer screen. She was supposed to be replying to an e-mail, but it was difficult to concentrate on work these days.
More and more, Ani’s thoughts were consumed by the puzzle her sister presented. The want to know what had happened to Tori between the time Ani had left her in the supposedly capable hands of the Welches and when Tori climbed into her car, seventeen and pregnant, was consuming her thoughts more and more.
The previous night, when Ani picked Tori up from group, she’d been flippant about how it had all gone.
“They got a little pissed at me when I dared to mention how giving a baby up for adoption doesn’t guarantee its life is all rainbows and sunshine,” she’d said. “I guess I was lucky the Welches got pregnant before they could adopt me. After you sign all the paperwork, you’re stuck, right? And then they would have had the kid they really loved because it looked like them or whatever, and me—the kid they got stuck with because they were stupid enough to sign a piece of paper saying they would love me forever.”
Her final comment had made Ani’s stomach ache. “Guess we better hope this one looks like your old kid, huh?”
Ani put the card down on her desk and rubbed her temples. Her heart was beginning to pound, and an uncomfortable lump had risen in her throat. She was doing her best not to think about her sister’s baby. Not yet. There was still time for that.
She concentrated instead on the other tidbit of information. At least it was one of a million questions answered. She knew now why Tori had ended up tossed back into the system with no chance for permanence in her life. The Welches had changed their minds about adopting.
Giving up on the idea she was going to get any work done today, Ani picked up her phone and dialed.
“Thanks for doing this,” Ani said to Shane as they were led to their booth. He had agreed to meet her for dinner so she could talk about Tori.
Shane nodded. “Just remember I have a lot of privileged information I can’t talk about without Tori’s permission.”
“I understand. But if I know something from her past, I can talk about it?”
“I don’t see why not. I’m just telling you now, I can’t give you details.”
“Right.”
A waiter came to take their drink orders. When he’d gone again, Ani was as ready as she was ever going to be. Still, she didn’t know where to start, didn’t know how to begin to explain what she wanted Shane’s help with.
“How’s Tori doing?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” Ani frowned. She wrung her hands. “Sometimes she forgets she hates me, and that’s almost nice. But she won’t talk about anything. She won’t talk about the pregnancy or the baby’s father. I want to have a relationship with her, but she’s not giving me that option.”
To her surprise, Shane laughed. “What did you expect when you took in a traumatized girl? You can’t have thought you’d be instant friends with a smarmy teenager.”
Tired of sarcasm in general, Ani fixed the man with a withering glare. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you said you were Tori’s friend, right? And as a social worker, I’m sure you understand the concept of needing to vent. I’m trying my best to help her. Maybe it would be more productive if you worked with me instead of looking down your nose.” She glanced around, self-conscious about her tone, but no one seemed to be paying attention to them.
Lowering her voice, Ani leaned in and continued. “Look. I get that you’re judging me for what I did to Tori when she was little. I understand. But I’m trying to make up for it now. Maybe it’s too little too late, but—”
Shane held up his hands, his expression abashed. “I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “You’re right. I’m not being helpful. In a lot of ways, I know I’m overprotective of Tori. She was the toughest of my very first caseload. She was assigned to me when I was twenty-five and I didn’t really grasp what the system could do to a kid.”
“How old are you now, if you don’t mind my asking?”
He gave a sad smile. “Thirty.” She must have looked as dismayed at that revelation as she felt, because he nodded. “Yeah. Not even social workers are steady for these kids.”
His expression became thoughtful as he rubbed a hand over his chin. “No one escapes childhood without issues. All of us are messed- up over something—over-parenting, under-parenting, Daddy issues, whatever. We all have the quirks our parents left us with. But these kids, most of them end up not being parented at all. They have a series of guardians who do their best, but they end up with more issues than there are tourists in Disneyland.”
Ani bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t want to ask the next question, but she felt she needed to. “I know you don’t know for sure, but given what you know of Tori’s life before, what’s the likelihood that the baby is a product of rape?” The last word, such an ugly, awful concept, was barely a whisper.
It bothered her that Shane didn’t deny it outright.
He sighed. “I honestly don’t know how to answer that. In my line of work you see kids who you wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up with three babies before they’re twenty, but Tori wasn’t one of them.” His shoulders slumped. “That doesn’t mean much, really. Tori is smart, but most of these kids are starved for love, and they take it where they can get it, if you know what I mean.”
“But there’s a chance,” Ani murmured, processing.
“It’s not something I would dismiss completely, no.”
Dismay gave way to anger. “This is ridiculous. You’re telling me the state of the system is so dangerous, Tori could have been sexually assaulted without you knowing about it?”
“That’s the state of the world, isn’t it? Realistically speaking?”
Ani wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. Shane’s job had to be difficult. She couldn’t imagine there was a good scenario that resulted in a child being taken away from its parents.
Before she could respond, a body dropped into the booth beside her.
“Shane.” The man’s voice was a cheerful boom that made Ani jump and slide to the very corner of the booth.
The stranger didn’t even seem to notice her. He leaned across the table toward Shane, lowering his voice as though he were telling a secret. “You’ve got Marcus in a tizzy back there.”
“What?” Shane’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”
“You know why.” The stranger laughed. “You’re sitting here having an intimate conversation with a woman.” At this, he did turn to Ani and winked in a friendly way before turning back to Shane. “You know he has the biggest crush on you. I always told him he suffered from poor taste. I’m the handsomer brother.”
Shane rolled his eyes.
“I keep telling him to man up and ask you out, but for being such an obnoxious extrovert, he gets all shy and ridiculous when you’re around.” He laughed.
Shane fixed him with a patient expression. “West, I’m kind of in the middle of something.”
West turned to Ani.
“Hi.” Ani’s greeting was dry. She wasn’t sure if she was more amused or annoyed at his intrusion.
“West, this is my friend, Ani Novak. Ani, this is Westin, my big brother,” Shane said, sweeping his hand between them.
Westin took her hand before she offered it. “Wes. West. Westy. Anything but Westin,” he said in greeting.
“He manages this restaurant, but I thought today was his day off.” Shane gave his brother a pointed look.
Rather than take a hint, West threw his arm over the back of the boo
th, talking with Ani as if they’d been friends forever. “Shaney likes to eat here when I’m on shift because he can get a discount, the cheap ass.” To his brother he said, “I did have the day off, but Kim had a family emergency.”
“Everything okay?” Shane asked. Ani noticed the sincere concern in his expression.
West waved his hand, his smile easy. “Her boy broke his leg. No big deal, really. Typical kid stuff. Anyway.” He rapped his knuckles on the table before he stood. “Back to the grindstone. Pleasure to meet you, Ani.”
He was gone as quickly as he’d come, leaving Ani blinking.
“Sorry about him,” Shane said with a laugh.
“No, it’s fine. I, um.” It was difficult to pick up their heavy conversation after an interruption like that, which may have been a blessing in disguise.
“So how’s Tori doing with school?” Shane asked, changing the subject.
Chapter 8: Unexpected Gifts
Of all the mundane challenges her sister presented, the one that left Ani the most flabbergasted, was Tori’s refusal to accept gifts.
Most of what Ani offered was practical in her eyes: a cell phone, a laptop, a car. True, all together they were an expensive package, but Ani wasn’t hurting. Those three items would allow Tori the autonomy Ani would have expected she would appreciate. No such luck. The mere mention of them set her sister screeching.
“Are you fucking kidding me? A car? You’re insane. You’re not going to buy me a car. Like I want that hanging over my head.”
Ani furrowed her eyebrows. “Hanging over your head? What do you mean?”
Tori crossed her arms over her chest. “Jeffery was a real ass about that kind of thing. See, there are some perks to being a foster kid. We get things sometimes. Most of us have iPods. Jeffery was always bitching he couldn’t afford to get Ariel some of that stuff. He went on and on about how I didn’t earn any of that.” She shook her head. “Well, I know I haven’t done anything to earn a goddamn car. I don’t want to hear about how I owe you.”
“This isn’t about you owing me something. A car is practical when you live in Southern California. You won’t be stuck waiting for me after school if I get caught up at work, and you can get to your appointments, too.”
“Look, if taking me to the doctor is too much of a pain in the ass, you don’t have to bother. I know how to take a bus.”
Ani banged the back of her head against the couch, frustrated. “Is it impossible for you to take something at face value? Going to your doctor’s appointments isn’t a big deal. I’m glad to do it.” This wasn’t exactly true. Tori’s first appointment had been trying, and Ani didn’t expect it to get any easier. However, her motivation behind offering the car had been genuine. Tori made it very clear she wanted as little to do with Ani as possible.
Her sister looked dubious. “You’re still crazy. You can’t buy me a car. It’s too much.”
“I wasn’t talking anything fancy. We could find a very decent price on a used car—something just to get you from point A to B. Or, if you prefer, you could use Jett’s car. It’s collecting dust in the garage.”
When Tori’s eyes widened, Ani realized what she’d said. “Your husband’s name was Jett?”
Ani couldn’t answer right away. Her head spun as she realized how easily it had been to offer up Jett’s car for use. It made sense. Tori needed a car, and it sat unused for a while now. It was one of the few things Ani hadn’t packed up. When she got into her own car every morning, it almost felt like Jett was in the house running a little late that morning.
She let out a slow breath and attempted to dispel the heaviness that had come over them with a forced smile. “Guess you got another freebie.” Tori was very curious about her dead husband and daughter, but they had an unspoken bargain. If Tori would talk, Ani would talk. The problem was little bits and pieces of Ani’s story tended to slip out.
Ani had talked more about Jett to Tori than anyone. When people expressed their condolences over his passing, it was more typical for Ani to nod an acknowledgment. She never let herself get drawn into conversations about her family.
Tori, on the other hand, was sewn up tight. Ani didn’t like to think about why she’d gotten so good at keeping everything about herself a secret.
Her sister stared forward for a minute. “After the Welches got rid of me, I went to a nice woman. Maria Veracruz. There were two other kids. She had a pool, and she taught me how to swim.”
“What happened with her?”
“She broke one of the rules. They took away her ability to have foster kids.”
Ani didn’t know what to say to that.
Tori shrugged. “Whatever. Anyway, maybe I can borrow the car if I need to go somewhere.”
“That sounds good,” Ani said. It was a minor miracle. Not only had Tori willingly shared a piece of her past, but she’d compromised without sarcasm or trouble. Ani might have said something, but she didn’t dare push her luck.
A small fraction of the weight around Ani’s heart lifted. Maybe, with time and effort, she could repair the damage between them.
“Christ, this thing is fancy,” Tori muttered to herself, trying to find the text message function on her new phone. Everyone had a cell phone. This should have been easy. Of course, this was Tori’s very first cell phone, but that was beside the point.
A lot of foster kids got their hands on cell phones somehow. The previous winter and several summers, Tori had worked at the mall. Brook had wondered why she didn’t get a phone then, at least a prepaid one. But Tori hadn’t seen the point. Unlike some of the other foster kids, she didn’t have siblings or parents to keep in contact with. Though she had social media accounts, she didn’t find her peers interesting enough to keep up with.
Now, though, she had more use for the phone. Emily had been bugging her, saying she wanted to text. Brook had a phone, too—a gift from her older brother. Having her own cell phone ensured Tori wouldn’t have to go through Stacey ever again when she wanted to talk to Brook. That was a definite plus.
She found the text message option and tapped out a quick text to Brook reminding her they had a date after school. It still felt weird to be driving Ani’s dead husband’s car. Somehow she felt a little better about using it to get the other girl out of the house for a little bit.
Just as she hit send, the phone disappeared from her hands. Tori looked up and glowered at her former foster sister. “What the fuck, Ariel?”
“So what’s the deal? Your sister just let the system and people like my parents pour money into you while she could? Now you’re just another spoiled bitch.” With a scoff, she tossed the phone back, making Tori lunge for it.
Tori felt a surge of anger and only barely tamped it down. A little over four months and she would never have to see Ariel, or anyone else from her high school, again. “Sure. That must be it,” she said. “Look, you and I both know your parents already have another charity case filling the gap I left behind. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I don’t swing that way—or at least I wouldn’t for you. You don’t have to keep on making excuses to come see me. It’s kind of sad.”
Ariel narrowed her eyes. “Come off it, bitch.”
“Ms. Everett.” One of the teachers who had gotten between the two girls the last time they argued eyed them warily, her tone warning.
“Run along now,” Tori said, waving her hands in a shooing motion. She grinned, smug with satisfaction, as Ariel scowled and moved on. Tori was pleased with herself. She’d managed to keep her temper this time, thus keeping the parasite safe.
The rest of the day passed more slowly than usual. Tori found she was eager to see Brook. The first time they’d seen each other after her birthday, Tori had surprised them both by hugging the other girl tight and long. She’d missed the other girl more than she expected.
The middle school got out for the day only half an hour after the high school, so Tori didn’t have to wait fo
r long. She’d parked across the street and stood outside the car so she could wave at Brook to get her attention.
“So where to, B?” Tori asked after they were both buckled and ready to go.
The other girl seemed nervous, even for her, as she answered. “Can we go to Main Place?”
At the mention of the mall in Santa Ana, not very far from where they were, Tori balked. “Why Main Place? Why not the Block?”
“Main Place has the best food court.”
Tori couldn’t argue with that. Main Place was one of the few places the family had gone when they went out to eat. The mall offered an eclectic variety of food, so all eight members of the extended Everett family could eat with little stress.
She swallowed down her nerves, telling herself her anxiety was stupid. It was a big mall—there was no reason she’d run into him. There was every possibility he wasn’t even working. Even if he was working, his store was on the other end of the mall from the food court. “Okay, fine. Main Place it is,” she said with forced ease.
As they drove, Brook started asking her the usual litany of questions about Ani and then about the baby. She about bounced right out of her skin with happiness when Tori told her to open the glove compartment where she’d stashed the blurry ultrasound image the doctor had given her after her last appointment. Ani had kept one copy, but Tori didn’t have any use for the second one. The other girl was thrilled when Tori told her she could keep the picture.
They got to the mall and headed straight for dinner. Hit by a wall of smells, Tori’s stomach revolted. She shoved a twenty into Brooklyn’s hand and bolted for the bathrooms.
“Pain-in-the-ass thing,” Tori grumbled, sitting across from her friend when she got back. She was relieved the fragrance coming off Brook’s Mongolian BBQ wasn’t setting her off.
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