There was a soft sympathy in her gaze now and it made him shift uncomfortably.
He’d said way too much.
Chapter Six
Janell was surprised by Mr. Chandler’s bitter outburst. He’d always seemed so unruffled by his circumstances. It was an eye-opener to realize he did indeed have deeper, more passionate feelings. “I’m so sorry for all you’ve gone through,” she said, touching his arm briefly. “That’s a terrible loss for anyone to bear. And I have no doubt that you truly care for your niece and nephew.”
She meant what she’d said, but he needed to understand the impact on the children. “The problem is, that’s not what Chloe and Alex are seeing.”
His jaw tightened. “I shouldn’t have said all that. And I don’t see how it’ll serve any good purpose for me to let the kids know how I feel. I need to be strong for them.”
His earnestness was touching. “You misunderstand. Of course you don’t want to display anger or bitterness.”
She saw him stiffen at that. Perhaps she should have been more tactful. “On the other hand,” she continued quickly, “I think it would be good for them to see how deeply you mourn the loss of your sister and brother-in-law. And even more importantly, you should let them see that you love them and are prepared to take on the role of parent.”
“I can’t take the place of their parents.” There was a suspicious gruffness in his voice, but he’d turned to put away a bowl so she couldn’t see his face.
“You’re correct. No one can replace their parents.”
The look he shot her was one of surprise.
“At least not in the sense you mean,” she said to clarify. “But you can be a parent figure, someone to care about them, raise them, guide them, just as a loving parent would. Surely you know that to children, especially young children, parents are the most important people in their lives. Parents are the foundation that grounds them and gives them the confidence to try new things, knowing there is a safe haven to return to.”
He turned to face her and she could tell he wasn’t entirely convinced. “I’m sorry if I keep coming back to this, but it’s very important that Alex and Chloe feel both welcomed and loved here.”
“Miss Whitman, I am not a demonstrative man. If it’s hugs and kisses you’re referring to—”
She made a dismissive motion with her hand. “There are other ways of showing love. And like it or not, you have no choice. You can’t just say the words—you must show it in your actions as well.” She tried to lighten her tone. “But I’m sure you’ll work that part out in your own way.”
His lips pinched in a thin, rebellious line. “I appreciate your suggestions. But this doesn’t address how to help Chloe.”
His words had a hard edge to them. It was what she’d meant about how he talked to the children. But he obviously wasn’t open to discussing that right now.
“For instance,” he continued, “is writing on a slate how you communicated with your sister?”
She nodded as she placed another plate in the wash water. “We did at first, but as I said, it’s a clumsy method at best. My father was determined to do all he could to help Lizzie, though, so we called on the best doctors and teachers who worked with the deaf. With their help we eventually found better ways to communicate.”
He raised a brow. “Such as?”
“Teaching her to read lips. And the use of sign language.”
He paused a moment. “Sign language—I thought that was a tool for the mute.”
“The mute learn to sign in order to communicate what they have to say. But it only works if those around them can read the language. For the deaf it’s just the opposite. Those around them must learn to sign and the affected person must learn to understand the signs.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense.”
“Which means, of course, that this is going to be a significant amount of work for all three of you. All of you must learn to sign. If you’re not committed to putting in the time to do this properly, then it will never work.”
He took the clean plate from her. “I understand.”
“Of course, it also means Chloe must want to learn.”
His brow creased. “Why wouldn’t she? After all, she’s the one with the most to gain. It will allow her to communicate with the people around her again.”
She was glad he understood the ramifications. “Yes, but if she’s like my sister, she’s going to be afraid of what will happen if she fails. And it reinforces the fact that she will always be different from everyone else around her.”
“But surely, on some level at least, she already knows this.”
“Of course, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to admit it. I didn’t say these were reasonable feelings, just that it’s likely that she’ll be resistant and that that resistance will be based in fear. We need to help her get beyond all of that so she actually wants to learn.”
“How?”
“By forcing her to communicate that way and not give her other options. It sounds harsh, but once she has a few successes under her belt it will get easier—for all of us.”
He rubbed his chin. “Even if we succeed, that means she’ll only be able to communicate with us. And you, of course.”
“True, but only at first. As she makes friends, they’ll want to learn to sign as well. Her circle will slowly grow.” She gave him a direct look. “But you’re right—it will never include everyone, and it won’t ever be like it was before.”
He grimaced. “Cheery thought.”
“It’s important that you understand the reality so you can help Chloe face it.” She tried for an encouraging smile. “The next step, however, will help her widen her circle.”
“And that next step is?”
“Lipreading. Once she masters that skill it will open many more doors for her.” From all accounts her sister had become quite adept at it. It was good to know Lizzie was adapting so well.
“And this is something she can learn?”
“Not everyone does, I’m afraid, but Lizzie did.” It still pained Janell that she hadn’t been there to witness and celebrate her triumphs. “If we can get Chloe to learn to read sign language, and gain some skill in lipreading, it will open the world back up for her. Right now she’s feeling like she won’t ever fit in again. The sooner we equip her with these skills, the sooner we can make her see that her future isn’t as bleak as it seems to her right now.”
He gave her a skeptical look. “But, to be realistic, she will always be different.”
Janell nodded. “Of course. But our job is to make her see that different doesn’t mean unlovable. She has to see she can lead a very fulfilling life even though she will always be deaf.” She gave him a searching look. “And that means you need to believe it yourself and then make sure she sees that you do.” She raised a brow. “Can you do that?”
He nodded, then changed the subject. “So tell me a little bit about signing.”
Janell dried her hands on a clean rag. “There are two different skills involved. First we’ll work on the alphabet.” She held her hand up and began to form the shapes. “This is A, and this is B, and this is C.”
She was surprised by how quickly the movements came back to her. It had been four years since she’d had occasion to use sign language.
Because that was how long it had been since she’d last seen her family.
* * *
As Hank watched her contort her fingers into the shapes for each letter, he wondered if he’d ever be able to duplicate her motions, especially with such grace. He’d have to learn twenty-six of these signs?
“What about Alex?” he asked. “I’m sure he knows his letters, but I’m not sure he can form words yet.”
“Unless the school where he’s from is significantly d
ifferent from Turnabout’s, at age eight he should at least be able to spell simple words, but you’re probably right that he’ll have limitations. So that means he won’t be able to use very much of that skill just yet. The burden for much of that will be on you. But I’m certain Alex will manage enough to communicate with Chloe. And he can learn the other component to signing.”
“Which is?”
“There are signs that encompass whole words and even phrases. Some are fairly obvious.” She crossed her wrists over her chest. “This is love.” She shifted, pressing her palms together. “This is praying.” Then she opened her palms, keeping the edge of her hands touching. “This is book or reading.”
“That seems much more practical than the alphabet.”
“They both have their place. There are some things that there’s no shorthand for, such as proper names.” She gave him a warning look. “And not all signs are quite that obvious. For instance, this means play.” She held both hands out about chest high, extended her thumbs and pinkies, then wiggled the hands themselves. “And this means work.” She made loose fists with both hands then tapped the right with the left twice.
“How long did it take before you were able to really communicate with your sister?”
“Well, it certainly didn’t happen overnight.” She placed the last of the dishes in the rinse water and emptied the washbasin. “Once we found someone to teach us what to do and to provide the materials we’d need, it took a few weeks before we really felt as if we were making progress. The hardest thing with Lizzie—and I think this will be true of Chloe, too—was convincing her that it would truly help make her life better.”
Reading between the lines of some of the things she’d said, it sounded as if she came from a well-to-do family. It made sense—she seemed to have the manner, speech and education of someone who’d grown up with certain advantages.
So how had she ended up in Turnabout?
“What were these materials you got access to?” And what had they cost? He intended to do whatever he could to help Chloe. But at the moment he didn’t have a lot of money to spare.
She waved a hand. “Mostly texts on sign language and a few academic texts outlining what we as a family could expect and how best to deal with Lizzie.”
“Do you still have them?”
She nodded. “In fact, I still have the notebook I made on the subject of sign language. The rest stayed in Dentonville. But I’ve sent letters to my sister and to Dr. Carson requesting whatever they can spare.” She dried her hands again, then moved toward the hall. “I brought my notebook with me so you can take a look at it if you like.”
Miss Whitman might be a bit too take-charge for his liking, but she was definitely going above and beyond what he’d expected.
He had the last dish dried and put away by the time she returned. “So when do we start?”
“I assume you’ll be taking the two of them to church tomorrow?”
She still seemed to have trouble giving a direct answer. As he thought about her question, though, he shifted. Could he really get the kids ready to go if Chloe pulled one of her stubborn, you-can’t-make-me maneuvers?
Seeming to read his mind, Miss Whitman pursed her lips. “You need to be firm with Chloe. She’s really more scared than anything else.” She set the notebook on the table. “The best thing you can do is to keep the world around her as normal as possible and not let her retreat into herself.”
Easier said than done. “I’ll do my best.”
She smiled. “I know you will. If it’s all right with you, I’ll sit in the same pew with the three of you so there will be someone else they know.”
He moved to the table. “I’m sure the kids will appreciate that.” And he wouldn’t mind having the extra support nearby, either.
She took a seat at the table, seeming to hesitate for a moment. “There are a few things you should watch out for. The townsfolk here, for the most part, are a friendly and caring group. They will naturally welcome the three of you back and commiserate with you and the children on your loss.”
She clasped her hands on the table. “Some will already know of Chloe’s condition, but some folks may not. Regardless, there will be some awkward moments and faux pas. It may make Alex uncomfortable, and whether she understands what’s being said or not, Chloe will find all of it overwhelming. We’ll need to shield them from as much of this as we can.”
Hank joined her at the table. He felt an unaccountable urge to grasp those clasped hands of hers just to see if they felt as warm and soft as they looked. Then he gave his head a mental shake and raised his gaze to meet hers. “Perhaps it would be best if I kept her home this Sunday.”
But Miss Whitman shook her head firmly. “The sooner she’s forced to go out among people again, the sooner she’ll learn to adjust. We just need to be careful, however we react to what happens tomorrow, that we don’t make her feel singled out or that we are in any way ashamed of her.”
Her continued, matter-of-fact use of we was reassuring. But he had to be careful or he’d find himself coming to depend on her a little too much.
However, it did bode well for the possibility of convincing her to marry him.
He had to choose the right moment.
But that right moment needed to happen soon.
* * *
Janell saw an expression she couldn’t quite read flit across Mr. Chandler’s face. Had she said something he disagreed with?
“How do you suggest we do that?” he asked.
It took her a heartbeat to remember what he was referring to. Oh, yes, her statement about helping Chloe. “Select a pew near the back of the church so if it becomes necessary to make a quick exit, we can slip out with the minimum of disruption. It’s best if Chloe doesn’t feel too hemmed in.”
“That sounds doable.”
His attention to what she had to say was endearing. “Once the service is over, we’ll want to try to make certain there are only a few people around us at any one time. Leave that part to me. I’ll recruit a few of the choir ladies to help me manage how many folks can approach.”
He frowned. “I forgot you’re in the choir. I can’t ask—”
“Don’t worry—they can manage tomorrow with one less singer.”
She moved on before he could object further. “This strategy is based on lessons my family and I learned the hard way with Lizzie. Her first few times going out in a crowd were difficult, both for her and for us. I’m hoping we can make things easier for Chloe.”
She gave him a direct look. “But you should be prepared, because nothing you do will make it completely without incident.”
He nodded and rubbed the side of his jaw. “We’ve been talking about Chloe, but what about Alex?”
His insightful question surprised her. “I’m glad you understand Alex will need some attention as well. We definitely don’t want him to feel left out or that we don’t recognize what he’s gone through. He’s suffered a painful loss, too.”
She leaned back. “He’s lost his parents, his sister has grown dependent on him and he’s been moved hundreds of miles from all that’s familiar to him, to live with an uncle he barely knows.”
“I take it this is not a situation you encountered with your sister.”
She ignored the sarcasm in his tone. “No, but I do have some experience working with children who are dealing with loss. One thing that will help is sending Alex back to school before Chloe. That will allow him to make new friends and gradually find his way back to being a little boy again.”
“And here at home?”
“I wish I could give you all the answers, but that’s something you’ll have to figure out as you go. What he’ll need is what any child needs—make certain he knows that he really matters to you. Pay enough attention to commend him when he accomplishes s
omething, and comfort him when he’s hurting or feels he’s failed in some way.”
Mr. Chandler shifted, as if uncertain or uncomfortable with what she’d said. Impulsively, Janell put her hand over his where it rested on top of the table. “You can do this.”
He stared at her hand on his with an odd expression on his face.
Feeling her cheeks warm, Janell drew her hand back as if scorched.
Had she overstepped yet again?
Chapter Seven
Hank was caught off guard by the soft warmth of the schoolteacher’s touch. There had been very few tender, feminine influences in his life these past seven years. He’d forgotten just how pleasant it could be.
When she jerked her hand away, he realized his silence had unnerved her. And this time she hadn’t misinterpreted his reaction.
Best to get the discussion back on track. “So I’ll try to keep an eye on Alex. How soon do you think he’ll be ready to return to school?”
There was still a touch of uncertainty in her expression, but the pink in her cheeks was subsiding.
“I’m hoping by Wednesday.” Miss Whitman nodded. “Since your aunt has been delayed, I’ll make plans for someone else to take over for me in the classroom Monday and Tuesday, just in case her delay is extended.”
He seemed to be getting deeper into her debt. “But what about your students?”
“Since you don’t have children—” she shot him an apologetic look “—or at least didn’t before now, you may not know that just this year the town hired Patience Bruder to help me and Mr. Parker in our classrooms. She spends an hour with me in the mornings and an hour helping Mr. Parker in the afternoon.”
Hank wasn’t surprised. The town was growing and so was the number of children attending school. Just last year Simon Tucker had moved into town with no fewer than ten children in his care.
“Anyway,” she continued, “Patience has been helping out when needed since school opened in September. I can ask her to fill in full-time for a day or two. Besides, I’ve only missed two days of teaching since I started here, so I think the town council won’t complain if I take a few days off.”
The Holiday Courtship Page 6