by Saurav Dutt
The fifth time and after three to four rings, somebody picked up. “Hya?” enquired the young voice on the other side. It was the voice of a young boy, perky, innocent, curious. “Uh…” Rossi cleared his throat “I was looking to speak with…I mean..is your mom there? I mean…is Ms Rossi there?”
“Who?” the voice snapped as Rossi heard the smattering of television sound in the background. “Andie…” Rossi said, feeling another fit of coughing rising up from his chest like a balloon moving up his rib cage “who is this I’m speaking with?”
“Mom..” the voice barked as the phone was placed down momentarily “some person on the phone?”
“Who is it?” a female voice shouted back. Rossi knew the number Madsen had slipped him was now the correct one. He listened breathlessly to the static on the line before a female voice spoke. It was tired and irritated by the intrusion of the call. “Hello?” she sighed as Rossi listened carefully. “I…is..is this you Andie?” Rossi rasped as he realised his heart was racing. His fingers curled around the phone cord as he leaned in closer, wrapping the phone receiver under his chin as he strained to contain the urge to cough. “Who is this?” Andie demanded “if it’s who I think it is I have nothing to say to you” she added. “Wait just a minute will ya..” Rossi sighed. “No you wait” Andie cut in “how did you get this number? I’m not listed.”
“I found out, somebody I work for found out” Rossi explained, trying to contain the temptation to match her belligerent tone. “That heavy you sent to my house last night?” Andie replied “was he working for you?”
“His name is Madsen..” Rossi answered “and yes I told himI asked him..to find you, to try to talk to you-”
“-but you decided to do it yourself again, right?” Andie interjected “where intimidation doesn’t work, some good old fatherly affection and lying would?”
“Wait..” Rossi pleaded as his grip around the cord tightened “did he hurt you?? I just sent him to talk to you, to tell you something, he was only supposed to talk to you..”
“Calm down Pop..” Andie sighed “he sat around trying to act the role but he didn’t do anything, said a lot…but it’s what he didn’t say that worried me..I have my son to think about, this is not just about me..”
Rossi brought the receiver closer to his mouth, sucking in the air as he spluttered and coughed. “My parole hearing is in a week, I’ve got a date now…” he murmured “who picked up the phone, was that…”
“I won’t let you speak to him” Andie shook her head, savouring the long pause left in the wake of her reply.
“But I’m his grandfather…” Rossi replied after some deliberation
“And I pray to the Lord he never finds out the kind of person his grandfather really is” Andie answered, staring across the room towards Peter who was on his knees in front of the television, his concentration utterly subsumed within the video game he was playing.
“Let me make amends” Rossi begged “bring him to the hearing, I need to see my grandchild, they’ll let me out because of that…come on baby, I’m dying for freak’s sake, what more do you want from me?”
“I’m doing what you asked of me” Andie replied “I will speak at your hearing, I don’t know what I can say but I’ll do it for you; it stops there..”
“Have you found your mother?” Rossi enquired. Andie did not answer.
“I don’t know where she is, she’s dead as far as I’m concerned” Andie muttered as she stared forlornly out of the window.
“She’s not Andie, don’t talk like that..listen to me carefully” Rossi replied, glancing over his shoulder to ensure the guard was not eavesdropping “your mother is somewhere in New York, we think Manhattan, it’s important you find her.”
“Who’s ‘we’”?
“What?”
“You said ‘we’”
“It doesn’t matter” Rossi went on “I need to find her, if she has contacted you, you need to tell me now.”
“Don’t tell me what I need to do” Andie shot back “not now, not after all this time, I will speak up for you with the parole board, but don’t tell me what to do-not anymore. She’s not here, she’s not been anywhere…she’s probably dead Pop, just let me know where to be for your hearing and leave it at that. Don’t send any more people around my house, don’t watch my family, don’t do anything..call your dogs off and let me live my life-away from you and away from all your shit…I can’t take anymore and I don’t want you doing this to us…”
“Your mother is not dead. I’ve been looking for her for a long, long time..” Rossi sighed “I know where she is now, I really do, listen baby you have to-”
The line was cut. She had hung up the phone. Rossi stared at the receiver, blinking as he struggled to comprehend what had just happened. “Give me another dime” Rossi snapped as the guard stared at him nonchalantly. “No Mr Rossi” came the sharp reply from the guard’s stoic face “you’ve have had more than enough time”
“Fuck you” Rossi spat “I’m Dennis Rossi you prick, if I want another dime and another call, I get another fuckin’ call, y’understand me dickhead?”
“Mr Rossi” the guard sighed as he snatched the phone from Rossi’s sweaty palms “you’ll get another chance, now you need to rest back in your cell.”
“I have to call my daughter” Rossi growled “can’t you understand that? The phone got disconnected, when Dennis Rossi wants a phone call he damn well gets one-what’s wrong with the freakin’ connection in this place? Give me another freakin’ call”
“If you’re gonna make this difficult Mr Rossi” the guard warned “we can take you back to your cell kicking and screaming. I don’t care if you’ve got a boil up your ass or cancer; you’re coming with me right now.”
Rossi listened to the dial tone, his breathing shallow as the guard gripped him by the wrist. He flashed a look of disgust at the officer as he was yanked by his shirt cuffs away from the booth. “Y’know something” Rossi grinned as he was led off “for the way you just treated me just now, Dennis Rossi could have had you and your family killed for showing that kind of disrespect…you’re lucky I’m an old man now.”
“An old and dying man..” the guard chuckled as he shoved his finger into Rossi’s back as he walked behind him “and don’t you forget that Rossi; I don’t take kindly to threats.”
Rossi stifled a cough and felt the throbbing pain in his chest return again, he felt weaker, unable to shoot back with a remark or wise crack. He could only think of his daughter, sitting there somewhere hating him. Not caring if he lived or died. He thought about his grandson not knowing a thing about him or what he even looked like. He stared down the darkened hallway as he approached his cell. He sunk down into his bed, watching the cell door slam shut. He stared longingly at the wall nearest to his pillow; there pinned to the concrete slabs with tape was a crinkled, faded pocket sized photograph. He saw Gina seated with a beaming smile, her luxurious blonde hair flowing down her shoulders and her supple breasts pressing against a tight turquoise sweater. She must have been in her late twenties then, maybe a year or two after they married.
In her lap was Andie, barely eight months old, her white cherubic face glowing with laughter, her dark brown eyes twinkling with joy and her lips parted as she was giggling uncontrollably. He remembered the day like yesterday. Rossi ran his fingers across the picture, ignoring Gina’s face and concentrating only on Andie’s. He lay his head down on the pillow and stared up, focusing his attention on a fly dancing around the dull glow of a solitary light bulb.
His eyelids began to slip and he fell asleep. But as he did so his outstretched hand yanked the photograph off the wall, crushed it within his palm and then he hurled it across his cell as far as he could with all the strength he could muster.
* *
The doorbell rang. Andie rushed towards Peter, she placed a finger on her lips, motioning for him to remain silent as she carefully glanced through the side of the curtains to see who was at the
door. She saw Sean staring back at her with a look of mild disdain. ‘It’s okay, it’s Daddy..’ Andie said with relief as Peter immediately ran towards the door.
Sean entered the house, his hair damp as he brushed the drops of rain off his navy blue overcoat. He noticed Andie’s concern as he scooped Peter up in his arms and kissed him on both cheeks. ‘What’s wrong?’ he enquired as Andie broke his gaze. “Nothing” she replied, turning her back to him. “This isn’t about last night, isn’t it?” Sean pursed his lips as he placed his son back onto the ground “I know when something’s wrong with you, so what is it?”
“I just got off the phone with my father” Andie sighed as she leant against the wall, refusing to make eye contact. “He called here?” Sean shook his head as he placed his hands on her shoulders “what did he want?”
“It was what I told you yesterday” Andie heaved as she moved away from him “about the hearing, about wanting to see Peter, about my mother..”
“Daddy the man yesterday gave me a $20 bill, ain’t that cool?” Peter piped up, sticking his small hands into his pockets and forking over a crisp twenty dollar note.
“Where did you get that from?” Andie demanded, snatching the money away and holding it up to the light as she studied it carefully.
“That man Mom, he had all this cool candy as well” Peter explained as he ran back into the drawer room. “Who is he talking about?” Sean asked as Andie began pacing the corridor. “Look you’re not the man of the house anymore” she hissed “and last night doesn’t change that, I told you that”
“First this Ben character” Sean frowned “now someone else, just how many guys are you seeing now that you’ve found this new independence of yours, huh? You know we’re not officially divorced yet, you could at least wait a little before playing the field…”
“Fuck you” Andie snapped “you have no right to talk like that to me….he was..he was this guy, this heavy, sent from my father..asking shit about my mother, about him, I don’t know how he found me, did you tell him where I lived?”
“What are you talking about?” Sean replied “did he threaten you? Did he threaten Peter? Did you report this to the police?”
“No he did nothing” Andie explained “I got rid of him, he was asking about my mother, just like my old man..look I just got in the house, what is it that you want?”
“I want an explanation” Sean sighed as he moved down the corridor so that Peter couldn’t pick up their conversation from the drawing room “about this, about the way you’re acting, why you’re hating me one minute and sleeping with me the next.”
‘This thing with my mother, it’s driving me nuts…” Andie sighed “it’s like a ghost coming back; I thought I was rid of this, rid of her..I don’t want to have to go through this shit again, I left this all behind..she can’t be here looking for me, it makes no sense”
“It’s been..like what?” Sean mused “seven, eight years? Maybe more”
“I’ve lost track” Andie replied, as she turned away from Sean, walking towards the drawing room and letting out a sigh as she slumped down on the couch watching Peter carefully “I’ve pushed it so far back, after Peter was born and she never got in touch I just gave up after that..found it easier to hate her.”
“Daddy are you gonna stay at home now?” Peter piped up, staring ahead at the television screen, unable to see Andie and Sean glance at each other. “I don’t like the other man Mom knows, don’t like him at all” he added without batting an eyelid. “Peter” Andie scolded him “don’t say things like that, go up to your room please while your father and I discuss something.”
“But I’m playing my game” Petey shot back “I don’t want to.”
“Petey” Sean knelt down, placing a hand on his son’s shoulder “listen to your mother, we have to discuss things..about everything.. that’s why I’ve come.”
“Are you gonna stay at home or aren’t you?” Petey repeated as his voice cracked. Sean glanced up at Andie, looking for some assurance, some indication she was going to help with the answer to the question, but found nothing.
“It’s unlikely..at least right now” Sean muttered “but we’re trying to sort something out, so that you will see me more often.”
“If you’re not here all the time…then you’re not here at all” Peter sulked, the television remote slipping through his fingers. He stared at the screen unblinkingly, watching the pictures collide against each other and the zaps and cracks of the soundtrack permeate the awkward silence.
“Peter..” Andie whispered as she knelt down to embrace him “please go to your room, I will talk to you about this soon I promise..”
He rose to his feet, breaking eye contact with both his mother and father and sluggishly walked off; his head hung low as barely discernible whimpers escaped from his mouth. No sooner had he turned the corner of the door frame, he ran rapidly up the staircase, his feet thudding against the floorboards as he leapt up them.
“Maybe this isn’t the right time..” Andie shook her head as she rose to her feet, walking idly past Sean as she attended to dusting the glass panes of the cabinets in the room.
“You’re forgetting I don’t live here” Sean quipped “I have a life outside Manhattan; I came here to resolve this, I’m not willing to skip around your mood swings and inclinations just because you’re having guilt attacks for last night..”
“I told you, that was a mistake” Andie replied “don’t think more of it than it was, I was confused..it was what it was Sean..I didn’t promise you anything.”
“Sex between man and wife? Or just a goodbye screw?” Sean gloated as he shook his head.
“If you’re gonna be an asshole about this” Andie bit her lip “you can leave, every time we get down to do this properly, you stall.”
“We’ve come to this point because you’re not willing to compromise, you never have been..” Sean explained as he faced her “to talk about things, to discuss things face to face, ever since-”
“-ever since what?” she demanded as she shot him an icy glare “ever since I moved into a foster home after my old man went to prison and my mother upped and vanished? So this is somehow my fault for stalling and being difficult?” she shot back, the veins in her neck taut as her cheeks reddened in rage.
“You want to put our son’s life through that too?” Sean scowled, determined not to let Peter hear the both of them arguing but realising it was already too late.
“Don’t put this at my feet, don’t you dare…” Andie began, closing shut the door to the hallway but failing to spot that Peter was already sitting up at the top of the stairs, his knees brought up to his chest, his chin resting against his kneecaps, a tear trickling down his left cheek.
“We’ve already established you couldn’t keep your hands off other women” she continued “and what happened in Baltimore last December was the final straw that broke the camel’s back-then there’s the drinking, the moods, where do I start?”
“This is the problem with you” Sean frowned “there isn’t even the slightest bit of give in anything you say or do, it’s always a fight with you, always some kind of stretched out goddamn argument…y’know if it was just about Baltimore I could accept that..but there’s a child in the middle of this, how about thinking about him for a change?”
“I am thinking about him” Andie grimaced “why do you think I brought him here away from you. You seem to forget, drinking scotch and vodka for four hours straight and bringing back your blonde bimbos when I’m out with my friends isn’t setting a good example for our son…so don’t tell me about being reasonable when your idea of settling a screwed up marriage is bringing your rent-a-whore back home for a nightcap..”
Sean stared into her eyes. They were cold, heartless yet tears glimmered within them. “You could have taken the cab right back to here last night” he paused “you didn’t have to come to my hotel, you could have blown the whole thing off..let me come to you. You came to me because I’m still y
our husband Andie, there’s still something there whether you like to admit it or not….now you asked me once why I was seeing Melanie..”
“Who?” Andie spat.
“Melanie…” Sean repeated “you know…the blonde.”
“What the hell about her?” Andie replied with a hateful glare.
“I got with her because she wasn’t like you…and now I broke it off. For exactly that reason…because she wasn’t like you” Sean sighed.
“One thing I learnt from my father” Andie explained “one thing I remember about him, was that he didn’t take any crap from my mother. He wasn’t a saint, but she made him look like Gandhi..and I’ll never forget the day he told her what was what. She wasn’t allowed back to our house for a whole 30 days. She’d stand at the gates and his security wouldn’t let her in, not for her handbag, her credit cards, her car, nothing…he made a point that he’d never be weak...but he let her back in after just three days, I remember the smile on her face…she was pleased with herself, knowing she got her way, knowing he’d always fall over himself to give her a chance…that’s how love can make you stupid and ridiculous…and I won’t make the same mistake with you.”
“Does this really have to be so screwed up?” Sean sighed “you want me to sign this crap, hand over this and that..what is it about Andie, money? Is it just that fucking simple to you?”
“I left our home off my own savings to give Peter a secure home” Andie shook her head “I don’t use a cent of your precious money. This is about Peter, our lawyers have settled on the visitation rights, as it is I’m being fair..don’t make it difficult for me”
“Three days a month?” Sean scowled “you call that being fair? I didn’t come here to see you to kiss and make up; I came here to negotiate the right a father has to his son.”