by Saurav Dutt
“That I would see something in a woman like her..”
“Well” Durning paused as he glanced at his watch “she’s a perfectly nice woman, if you exclude the obvious.”
“Which is?”
“John..” Durning shook his head “you’re Greek so I make compensations for your obvious zest for passion and romance…but you’re barking up the wrong tree with this dame..you know, you’re still a good looking guy..I know the last few years have been testing for you..but y’know…you don’t buy a dog and then bark yourself, y’get my drift?”
“No” John scoffed “I don’t get your drift.”
“Well let me pay you the compliment of being blunt” Durning smirked “vegetable or not…she’s a junkie..always was, always will be…she’s trouble…always was, always will be…she’s a heartbreaker…you understanding the picture I’m painting here for you or do I need to go on?”
“I understand” John shot back “now if you don’t mind, you’ve kept me waiting already… what’s IA’s verdict, what’s happening with the Rossi case?”
“First” Durning smiled “your new love isn’t keeping her precious suitcases, that money was dirty, how she got it in witness protection before her little…uh…mishap is anybody’s guess..the only reason we’re not gonna arrest her has nothing to do with the fact that people like you view her as a charity case…but because she’s in the Fed’s good books.”
“So she gets to stay with her daughter?” John cut in.
“Well why would she?” Durning sneered.
“Isn’t that obvious” John remarked “she loves her…”
“Right” Durning winked “that gets to my favourite part-the Feds aren’t gonna enable her ass no more-no more witness protection, no more plush resettlement at the tax payer’s expense-she’s just gonna be a regular Jane Bloggs…just a bit of a retarded one.”
“She’s not retarded” John snapped “not that you would give a shit.”
“You’re right, I don’t” Durning smiled.
“And what about her welfare? She’s still a target ain’t she, that much is obvious” John enquired only to be taken aback by the broad grin spreading over Durning’s face “with respect, what the fuck is so funny?” he scowled.
“You haven’t asked about IA yet have you?” Durning replied “I mean, you’re all so concerned about this little tramp Rossi whore and you’re not concerned about your own job? Your own freakin’ welfare?”
“And that’s amusing to you is it Cap?” John sighed.
“No” Durning shook his head “the reason I was late was that I got off the phone with the Warden at Riker’s…wouldn’t you believe it that sonofabitch Rossi just got taken in for triple heart bypass surgery earlier this morning-he’s touch and go; hopefully he won’t recover..”
“You’re really one sick asshole” John quipped as he rose from his seat.
“And where the hell are you going?” Durning countered “you really have such a short memory Cassini? Have you forgotten how many bodies that son of a bitch has left behind? Your girlfriend might have been one of ‘em too if she hadn’t been so lucky.”
“Oh, you know that little job of mine?” John nodded “you can tell IA to kiss my ass-and you too Captain, you can kiss my ass too.”
“What happened to you?” Durning sneered as he rose to his feet “you used to be a cop going places; I never thought I’d live to see the day an officer like you would be kissing the ass of a piece of trash like Gina Rossi.”
“Captain” John shrugged his shoulders as he yanked open the door “sit down before you fall down you fat fuck..”
“Y’think this is over?” Durning yelped “you’re not clear with IA over the laundered money; chances are you’re gonna be brought up on charges-but not your honey, Feds are still covering her while Rossi is breathing-but you, they’ll twist your ass out in the wind; now you think about that before you resign.”
“I can’t work for you people anymore” John shook his head “not any more.”
“You let everything get away from you” Durning sighed “whatever the hell was chasing you John, you always let it catch up with you..I’m sorry to see you go down this road.”
“Trust me” John smiled “I’m better off as I am…at least I can breathe.”
John slammed the door behind him, marching down the corridor as he brushed past the shoulders of his dumbfounded colleagues, the feeling of freedom lifting the weight off his shoulders as he walked out onto the sidewalk and sucked the damp air into his lungs. He paused to light a cigarette and looked back at the precinct headquarters, smiling to himself as he slowly walked away.
Chapter Twenty
She saw their faces, the fierce concentration written over their expressions as they chattered away. Yet her eyes remained transfixed on the closed door of Room 611 at Lenox Hill Hospital, on 77th Street between Park and Lexington Avenue. She glanced at Andie who was in deep conversation with Dr Firth; at John who stood in between the pair of them, listening intently to every word. She moved away, walking towards the room where she knew Dennis lay recuperating from his surgery.
Though her pulse quickened and the beads of sweat began to collect on her forehead, she moved forward undaunted. Gently pushing open the door, she was struck by the calming scent of lavender as she entered the expanse of the private hospital room.
A bouquet of large red roses gleamed as the late afternoon light fell upon them through the window shutters. There motionless in the middle of the room lay Dennis; his body perfectly still, a myriad of equipment surrounding him, a large oxygen mask draped over his mouth. At first his glassy eyes skipped over the sight of the woman approaching him, only to widen as he realised who it was.
“Hey there” Gina whispered “why you look like somebody just walked over your grave Dennis..”
His lips parted, trying to croak out the words, but he looked on in stunned silence as he slowly ran his eyes over her from head to foot, too aghast to react.
“I had to get a good look at you” Gina said as she leant in, smiling at the emaciated face staring up at her. His cheeks were gaunt, the face drained of energy, and his white hair was wizen and glinting with the patina of having recently been dipped in silver. As his lips strained to part she leant in closer, his voice muffled as he breathed against the mask.
“I can’t hear you” she smirked “maybe that’s for the best…what do I say to someone I hate as much as you? That I wish you never made it out the operating theatre?”
His eyes closed as he turned his face away, only for her to gently catch his chin within her palms. She leant in closer, her eyes locked carefully onto his.
“You look at me you bastard..” she sneered as she took his hand in hers and guided his finger across her temple, running its tip over the large scar scythed across the skin. “You feel this?” she nodded “this is the price I paid for ever having met you; for being the mother of your child, for having ever been in love with you…this is my punishment...if you wanted to get the job done so bad Dennis, you should have done it yourself.”
She glanced away and noticed the fingers of his hand were pressing firmly down on the nurse call button. “I hope my coming didn’t surprise you too much” she murmured as she gently kissed him on the forehead “I just sincerely hope my face is one of the last things in your life you’ll ever see Dennis….”
The door was flung open as Firth marched in, his expression incredulous as he jabbed his finger towards the corridor. “Get out” he hissed “get out of the room, he’s trying to recover and visitor hours are over.”
“Oh I’m more than just a visitor” she leered as she backed away from the bed, waving at Dennis as she did so “we share a very unique relationship, don’t we?”
“Please” Firth sighed “whatever it is you want with him, just leave it for now.”
“Honestly doctor..” she asked “what are his chances?”
“Not as good as yours” Firth shot back “now please..”
“I’m, as they say, what’s the expression again?” she answered “…yeah that’s it, fit as a fiddle…and certainly better than that son of a bitch, that’s good enough for me.”
As she stepped into the hallway she saw Andie facing her, leaning against the wall with her arms folded. As they locked eyes, Andie nodded towards the room. “How was that for you then?” she asked “bring it all back home ?”
“Yes, enough..” Gina quipped “I suppose, if that was me there, that you wouldn’t come to see how I was doing would you?”
“And what makes you think that?” Andie smiled.
“As almost not crazy as I am…” Gina replied “…I can figure it out.”
“I sat there with him for ten minutes” Andie nodded “it was the first time I had actually seen him silent. If it wasn’t the phone, or when I saw him up in the penitentiary, he was always talking..he always had something to say. This time he just lay there, and I found myself talking to him…I found myself blaming him, wishing he could have been different…and for just a moment I felt..I felt almost sympathetic towards you…felt sorry, wondered what he had put you through…and then I reminded myself that you were never a child, you were who you made yourself to be..I guess every rose comes with its thorn..”
“I won’t make any allowances for how I acted, the things I did, why I did them” Gina looked away “but I won’t lie to you..I do know one thing, I protected you by making sure your father was put away..and I paid a price, and that’s why I’m still standing here, or lucky to be..I can remember that much.”
“Eight years..” Andie scowled as she turned her face away “..I don’t care where you were..all you had to do was pick up the telephone or do something to reach me…I’ve spoken to John, the FBI….the stuff you were up to in the witness protection programme…it was like you were at Disneyland, it wasn’t for protection it just gave you a free license to do what the hell you wanted..until Dad caught up with you..what were you thinking?”
“I wish I could remember why..” Gina began before Andie cut her off. “That’s so convenient for you” Andie spat “when it gets a little hard to justify why you were such a selfish bitch you just blame it on the old memory bank being empty..sometimes I really wonder what’s up there in that little head of yours…I bet it’s all selective memory to you Mom..I bet when it gets too hot to explain away everything you just blame the old amnesia..but I know you, you’re still a Rossi…if the truth hurts, stick a lie or two on top to cover it up, it makes life that much more endurable.”
“You’re getting more and more like him…” Gina trailed off “..and as crazy as you think I am, believe me that’s not a good thing.”
“Y’know as impossible as he was” Andie countered “..as spiteful as he was, at least he tried-in his own useless, selfish way-to be a parent…but you were nowhere. He sat in his jail cell and wrote me, at least he bothered…you were too busy living the high life, witness protection my ass… you should know one thing about your daughter, she wasn’t born yesterday…and I’m nothing like him, or you..even if you want to believe otherwise.”
Andie marched off, her ears burning as her heart pounded. As she continued down the corridor she glimpsed the figure of a man at the other end alongside a nurse and Peter, slowly approaching her. As she focused her eyes she realised it was Sean.
“I heard about your father..” Sean explained as he approached “..I called the house and some detective he told me.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in jail or something?” Andie scoffed, taking Peter’s hand in her own as she tilted her head back, realising how heavy it felt, how much her shoulders ached.
“They threw me in the drunk tank for a while, yeah” Sean frowned “..sleep it off or whatever..anyway how is he?”
“He’s out of ICU, so he’s recovering…” Andie sighed “..but it’s touch and go for a while…you know Sean, what you did with Petey, that was…”
“I know..” Sean interrupted “…it was stupid, I was stupid…”
“Well..anyway, thanks for coming…really” Andie replied “..I’ve been here most of the afternoon and evening..I’m gonna head home soon, we’re all tired.”
“I just wanted to see if you were okay” Sean smiled.
“I am, thanks” Andie nodded as she looked down at Peter and gently caressed his hair “it was the first time Peter got to see his granddaddy…I coulda swore the old bastard’s eyes twinkled when he saw him.”
“Andie” Sean hesitated as he looked down the corridor “is she here?”
“Who? Oh you mean the prodigal mother’s return?” Andie smirked “a bit overplayed if you ask me.”
“Whaddaya mean?” Sean replied as he carefully studied the figure leaning forlornly against the wall some twenty five feet away from him.
“Oh nothing..” Andie yawned “…you’re probably curious right, why shouldn’t you be?”
“Well, what’s she like?” Sean asked “after all the things you told me, what’s she got to say for herself?”
“More than I thought” Andie replied “..sometimes I wonder if it’s all an act.”
“What is?”
“This whole amnesia kick…seems all so convenient.”
“Why would she be lying?”
“Because she’s desperate, who knows? ‘Cause she needs somewhere to park her butt since she’s on the run? I dunno, I just don’t know what to make of all of it.”
“But she’s staying at your house?”
“Uh huh” Andie stifled a yawn “listen we’re gonna head on home, give us a call before you head back to Long Island will you?”
“Sure thing..” Sean replied “what about her?” he added as stared down the corridor.
“Someone will take her back home” Andie shook her head “…someone always does.”
“I’ll see ya later then..” Sean smiled as he knelt down to kiss Peter on the cheek, holding him tightly as he waved them both past him. As he stood there, he noticed the woman further down the corridor studying him closely. He began to walk towards her. Beyond the stooping posture, the dirty blonde hair and the lethargic, empty gaze of the face he realised it really was the mother in law he once affectionately addressed as ‘Gen’.
“Well ain’t this a turn up for the books” he quipped as she leered at him. A glimmer of recognition ran across her expression as she smiled. “I’m your son-in-law” Sean explained as he held his hand out; she stared at it momentarily before taking it into her grasp.
“This thing I have is a bitch” Gina grinned “I know your name, I recognise your face..but I’ll be darned if I can put the two together.”
“You still look beautiful Mrs Rossi” Sean replied before correcting himself “Ah sorry, I guess it’s a force of habit..Gen…do you remember me calling you that?”
“Seeing that son of a bitch’s face in there..” she pondered “..brought back a lot for me..I want to tell you this while you’re here…you gave me a lovely grandchild, he is beautiful.”
“He is” Sean smiled as he looked away “but your daughter won’t have me around him…I guess she learnt to break hearts from the best of ‘em.”
“I’d like to think she’s just like her old man” she sighed “but now I see she is her mother’s daughter for sure-Amen to that.”
As she peered over his shoulder she noticed Andie standing there with Peter, both staring back at her. She waved at Peter who smiled back. “Family…” she nodded towards them “ah the Nickel Sized Hail and the Damaging Winds…”
“What?” Sean blurted “what does that mean?”
“She knows” Gina smiled “something my Momma always used to tell me when I was a young girl, and I used to tell Andie too about that same age…in life, always beware the Nickel Sized Hail, and The Damaging Winds..blow out the lights, prepare for the worst, and when the worst comes, don’t cry and don’t moan and realise…to learn to take the pain…’cause that’s the price of neglecting the price of love.”
“So?”
“It just goes to show” she sighed as Andie disappeared around the corner “neither of us bothered to listen or care to what that meant, or we didn’t understand…we didn’t prepare.”
Chapter Twenty One
The grey light of dawn spilled across the sky in a wash of soft blues as the eerie quiet of early morning awoke her. She rose from the bed and looked out of the window. She came to slowly, groggily, pin pricks of shivering cold colliding with her exposed flesh and sodden clothes.
She had been sweating, shivering and as she glanced to her side she noticed the specks of light snow flurries floating down from the clouds. She rose to her feet and made her way to the door, pushing it gently ajar as she stepped out into the hallway.
The sound of the ticking wall clock reverberated in her ears and she moved towards the banister, soft creaks on the wooden panels of the floor feeling like thunder claps as she tried to stifle the sound.
Her mind was a blank, but her purpose was undeterred. The house was an ice box, and she felt instinctively that the chill meant that snow was coming. Like the child she had been, the woman she tried to become, she felt the impending change in the wind, the certain chill in the air that could only bring snowfall.
As she made her way down the staircase she heard the low crackle of a sound she couldn’t recognise. Ignoring it she descended the stairs and stood there at the foot of the staircase for a moment, savouring the silence. As she moved towards the drawing room, her ears picked up a crackle of sound from within.
“I knew this would happen..” chimed Andie’s voice. She was slumped in a seat in the far corner, looking across the room as photos lay across her lap. “What time is it?” she asked as she smiled at her mother, beckoning for her to sit.
“Somehow I don’t think the time is important” Gina replied as she noticed Andie’s eyes, reddened, glazed with tears. She noticed the half empty bottle of vodka by her table side, the packets of smokes littered across its surface.
“I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight” Andie smiled to herself “I was just awake, lying there, and then this phone buzzed off…somehow I knew it was Sean..well he’s gone now, and it’s come to this..we’re done, the family is gone..the thing I strove for is gone..something you and poppa couldn’t provide..cohesion..stability..undying love..so I called him, thought he’d be begging, pleading, sorry as always..but he wasn’t y’know..he was resolute...determined. He didn’t seem to care, just totally cut off from feeling….you know what he said to me? That he didn’t care if he saw me again, or even his son…that I had cut him off, destroyed what we created..cut the angel’s wings…before you know it I started to cry, I mean cry like I haven’t known since you left me..that bad…he said the most god-awful, ugly things to me..and you know the funniest part of all, when I asked him why he was being such a goddamn evil son of a bitch..he just laughed..not a care in the world..he sounded like Poppa…and then he told me to prepare..prepare for the Nickel Sized Hail, and The Damaging Winds…”