“How do you know he won’t?”
Before Lucinda could protest, Chance took her hand and placed it on the horse’s face. “This horse wouldn’t bite a fly. Unless that fly was biting him. Go ahead, give him a good pat. He loves it.”
Cautiously at first, Lucinda stroked her hand down the horse’s nose. Big John didn’t bare his teeth at her, so she rubbed his face again. However, the moment she drew her hand away, the horse nudged her shoulder.
“Is he trying to tell me to keep petting him?” Lucinda asked with surprise.
“Sure he is,” Chance answered. “Most horses are very affectionate. They’ll follow you around like a dog.”
“I didn’t realize that,” Lucinda admitted, moving closer to the horse. “But then I don’t know anything about horses. Or dogs, either, for that matter. Except for the strays I encountered on the city streets.”
“You never had a pet? Or you just don’t like animals?”
With a shake of her head, Lucinda said, “We didn’t have pets in the orphanage. I guess there were already too many human mouths to feed. After I was out on my own, I moved to an apartment where pets weren’t allowed.” She shrugged one slender shoulder. “I always thought it would be cruel, anyway, to house an animal up all day by itself while I was away at work.”
“Having four thousand acres, it’s hard to imagine not having a yard big enough for a dog to run in.”
“I’m sure it is. But to me, having four thousand acres to care for would be mind-boggling.”
Chance guided her to the next stall. As they walked, he said, “It’s a challenge. But I wouldn’t want to do anything else. I guess raising cattle and horses is in my blood. My grandfather first started the D Bar D. Dad took over after he died. Now it’s gone to me.”
Even through the material of her coat, Chance’s arm against the back of her waist felt warm. Lucinda tried to tell herself she didn’t like it, that she wished he’d quit touching her altogether. But she knew she’d only be lying to herself. Having him walk beside her like this made her feel secure. Something she hadn’t felt in a long, long time.
“You don’t ever feel like the ranch is too much for you?”
The two of them paused at the next stall long enough for Lucinda to see a sorrel mare bedded down in the loose wood shavings covering the floor.
“The ranch has never been too much for me,” Chance said as he guided her down the alleyway. “But I have to admit that it’s sometimes been a little rough trying to take care of Mother and Sarah Jane. Especially after Dad died. They both turned to me and there wasn’t any way I could take the place of a husband and father.”
“It must have been an awful time for all of you.”
He sighed. “It was. Mother was desperately depressed and nothing I did seemed to help bring her out of it. Sarah Jane was just a fourth grader, who thought her big brother could work miracles and bring her father back. I’m sure I let both of them down back then.”
Lucinda couldn’t imagine a man like Chance thinking he’d let anyone down. He seemed so strong, so sure of himself and his family. “As long as you stayed here on the ranch and tried to help them, then you couldn’t have let them down.”
Chance didn’t agree. He’d always felt as though he’d let everyone down. Especially Jolene and his unborn daughter. She’d loved him, expected and depended on him to take care of her. Instead, he’d let her die giving birth to his child. The wound of that went so deep inside him, he doubted a lifetime would heal it.
His hand slipped away from her shoulder and Lucinda knew he’d set himself apart from her now. He was back in his own private thoughts. A place where she wasn’t welcome. And though Lucinda tried to ignore it, a cold, deserted feeling began to seep through her.
Needing to change the subject, he said, “Come on. There’s a little fellow down here that I think you’ll like to see.”
The fellow turned out to be a colt. His white coat was splotched with bay red spots and his unruly mane stuck out all directions. The moment he saw Chance and Lucinda he nickered and trotted over to them.
“He was born in May, so he’s nearly eight months now. You like him?”
Just when she was telling herself that Chance was a stranger and she wanted him to stay that way, he had to go and smile at her as if she were somebody special to him. Why did he have to torment her like that?
“He’s adorable. What’s his name?”
“I haven’t registered a formal name for him yet. I’m going to let Sarah Jane do that. She doesn’t know it, but this little guy is going to be her wedding present from me.”
She turned her head to look at him. “She can ride?”
Chance chuckled. “Don’t let her know it, but Sarah Jane can outride me any day.”
Lucinda had always believed gray was a cool, somber color. In fact, she rarely used it in her designs. But as she looked into Chance’s gray eyes, she realized they were anything but cool. They were warm and inviting and quickly dissolving her last bit of common sense.
“You must love her a lot,” Lucinda said quietly.
The expression on Lucinda’s face was like that of a lost little girl, Chance thought. One that was always peering into the window and wondering what it was like to live like the rest of the world. And suddenly he wanted more than anything to wipe that look away. He wanted to draw her to him. Not just because it would feel good to have her soft body pressed to his. No, he wanted to show her, tell her that she wasn’t alone and unloved. Dear God, what was happening to him? he wondered.
“She’s my sister. I want her to be happy.”
Even though I can’t be. Chance hadn’t spoken the words, but Lucinda had heard them just the same. She suddenly yearned to ask him about Jolene. Why couldn’t he let go of her memory and give himself a chance to find happiness with someone else?
But Lucinda kept the questions to herself. Chance’s life, or what he did with it, wasn’t her business. She was just a temporary guest and she knew that Chance wouldn’t hesitate to remind her of the fact.
In silent agreement, they moved on through the barn, lingering long enough at each stall for Chance to introduce its occupant to Lucinda. Eventually her ankle began to ache and she told Chance she’d better go back to the house.
“There’s one more thing I want to show you before we go,” he said.
Curious, she followed him through a door and into a dark room. Chance pulled a string hanging from the ceiling and a light bulb glared to life. Blinking from the sudden light, she glanced around her.
Covered barrels lined one wall, while the back end of the room was stacked several feet deep with feed sacks. Saddles, some new looking and some old and worn, hung by their horns from ropes thrown over the rafters. The sweet smell of molasses mixed with the scent of leather and saddle soap filled the room.
Intrigued by the unfamiliar sights and smells, Lucinda stood in the middle of the room and drank it all in. “Is this what you wanted to show me? What do you call this? A feed room? A tack room?”
Chance smiled as he watched her eyes roam over an intricately carved fender on a saddle. Her curiosity pleased him, because each saddle and horse were like old, familiar friends to him. He wanted her to like them as much as he did.
“Actually, it’s a little bit of both. But the room isn’t what I wanted to show you. Come here.”
She wound her way through the saddles to where he squatted near a pile of empty feed sacks. Behind them, curled up on an old saddle blanket was a brindle-colored mother cat with four kittens.
“Oh, how precious!” Lucinda exclaimed with undisguised pleasure.
Kneeling down beside Chance, she leaned over for a better look. “Will the mother let you touch them?”
“Sure. She’s an old hand around here. She knows we won’t hurt her babies.” To prove it, he reached over and scratched mother cat between the ears, then picked up one of the kittens. It was a yellow-striped tabby with four white feet.
“Here,” he s
aid, handing the kitten to Lucinda. “Hold him and see how you like him.”
Even though she knew it was probably childish, she couldn’t help oohing and aahing over the furry little animal.
“He’s beautiful,” Lucinda murmured. “I’m sure he’ll look very regal when he grows up.”
She was cuddling the ball of fur to her cheeks as if he were more precious than a diamond. And the sight touched a place inside Chance that he hadn’t even known existed before now.
“I want you to have him,” he told her.
Lucinda lifted her eyes to Chance. His face was only inches away, so near she could see the pores in his skin, the faint ragged line of his bottom lip, the warm light in his eyes. And in that moment she felt very close to him, closer than she’d ever felt to anyone in her life.
“You want me to have him?” she asked, unaware that her voice had dropped to an awed whisper.
She made it sound as if he were giving her the world, and for the first time in a long time, Chance felt a sense of pure joy fill his chest and spread a smile across his face.
“Yeah. I want him to be yours. Don’t you like him?”
She glanced down at the kitten cradled gently in her palms, then back to Chance. “I love him. But Chance, what would I do with a cat? I’m headed to California.”
Suddenly some of the pleasure of his gift faded. “Well, surely cats live in California, too,” he reasoned.
“I’m sure they do. But I’ll probably be in a city. I might not have a yard, or a place for him to roam.”
His eyes studied her face. “That’s important to you, isn’t it? That living things have enough space to roam free.”
Suddenly Lucinda was back in the orphanage in the long drab room she shared with several other girls. After several years passed, it had become a cage to her. “When I lived in the orphanage,” she said quietly, “I used to wish I were a bird so I could fly free, go anywhere I wanted. I wouldn’t have people telling me when to go to bed, or wake up, when I could or couldn’t eat.”
A wry slant to his mouth, he said, “Most kids resent being told what to do, no matter where they live.”
“You’re right. But living by such a strict schedule made me yearn for my independence. When I was finally old enough to get it, I cherished it. Then Richard, my ex-fiancé, he came along and—”
She broke off abruptly, amazed that she’d been about to open up that private part of her life to him.
“And what?” he urged.
With her forefinger, Lucinda stroked the little yellow tom between the ears. “Richard did his best to take away my hard-earned independence. He wanted to control everything I did and said. Right down to who I could have for friends. Even the color of my clothes. I couldn’t bear it. No matter where I am, or whomever I’m with, I have to be me. Just me.”
Reaching over, Chance gently touched her arm. “I have a feeling this little guy will understand. He’ll give you your space and you can give him his.”
Lucinda tried to swallow down the lump of emotion filling her throat. “I just don’t want his space to be city concrete. It wouldn’t be fair.”
His eyebrows lifted with speculation. “Maybe it wouldn’t have to be. Maybe you could live somewhere else.”
Why did she suddenly get the feeling he was talking about more than this little kitten’s future home? “I suppose it’s possible. I guess it isn’t written in stone that I have to live in a city. But where my work is concerned, it would make things easier.”
A brief smile touched his face. “Well, whatever you decide about that, I’m sure you’ll give this little guy a good home.”
“You really do want me to have him, don’t you?” she asked again, as though she still couldn’t quite believe it.
“I do. He’s my Christmas gift to you.”
Lucinda knew she’d never received anything that meant more to her. She didn’t know why. Pets were given all the time as gifts. And if she’d really wanted a kitten that badly she could have purchased one at a pet store. But this was different. This kitten represented more than a pet. He was the idea that she really could have a better life. And Chance had given it to her.
Gently she placed the kitten down with the other three, who were wrestling playfully beside their mother. “I’ll leave him with his family until I’m ready to go,” she told Chance, then smiled. “I think I’ll call him Caesar. He has a noble-looking nose.”
Chuckling, Chance rose to his feet and pulled Lucinda along with him. “All tomcats have big noses. But you don’t have to tell Caesar that.”
Before she could stop herself, Lucinda reached up and laid her palm against his cheek. It felt warm and stubby with whiskers, and incredibly precious to her.
“Thank you, Chance. You’re a generous man.”
No. He wasn’t generous, Chance thought. He was selfish. Years ago he’d wanted Jolene, and because he had, she’d died. Now he was wanting Lucinda the same way and he knew that whatever she did or said, he couldn’t give in to those wants. Not if he really cared about her. And he did care about her. The realization of it was becoming stronger and stronger, no matter how he tried to deny it.
“You’re welcome,” he said huskily, then clearing his throat, he pulled her hand down and led her out of the feed room. “We’d better get back to the house. It’s cold in here and you’ve been on your ankle too long.”
As they left the horse barn, Lucinda knew the tender moment they’d shared was gone forever. But she would always remember it in her heart and no one could take that away from her.
*
When Chance reined in Traveler back at the ranch house, Lucinda’s car was parked near the fence. Pulled up next to it was a white patrol car with the word sheriff written across it.
Fear rushed through Lucinda, turning her blood to ice water. What was the law doing here? she wondered frantically. Had Richard somehow tracked her down through his network of police friends? Dear God, if he had, all the miles she’d fled would be in vain. Her chance for peace and happiness would be gone.
Chance had just helped her down from the horse when a tall, dark-haired man strolled out of the house and on to the back porch. He was wearing a khaki uniform with a pistol belted at his hip. The shiny badge pinned to his shirt pocket signified his authority.
“Well, hello, Chance. Is all this sunshine agreeing with you?”
Lucinda stood immobilized as she stared at the Texas lawman. On the other hand, Chance seemed glad to see him. Taking her by the arm, he led her toward the house and the waiting sheriff.
“I could use several more days like this,” Chance told him. “What brings you out here today?”
“Just wanted to say hey to everybody. I ran into Mike down on the highway. He said he’d been instructed to bring this car up here to the ranch.” He motioned with his head toward Lucinda’s car.
“That’s right,” Chance told him. “It belongs to Miss Lambert here. She’s staying on the ranch with us for a few days.”
The sheriff tipped his cream-colored Stetson at her. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
Lucinda could scarcely breathe. “Are you here to give me a driving ticket?” she asked him.
Chance immediately burst out laughing. As soon as he did, the young sheriff smiled at her. Totally confused by their behavior, Lucinda glanced frantically from one man to the other.
“No, ma’am. I figure your sliding off in the ditch was due to Mother Nature and not your driving. I just like to check in on my cousin every few days and make sure he’s not getting into trouble.”
Surprised, she looked from one man to the other. “You two are cousins?”
“On my Dad’s side,” Chance told her. “So there are two Delacroix men in this county.”
“Yeah, and Chance is the ugly one.”
Lucinda was beginning to see the resemblance between them now. She was also trembling with relief. Apparently Richard hadn’t sent him looking for a Lucinda Lambert from Chicago.
“
Yeah, but it’s obvious that I got the brains,” Chance told him.
The sheriff, who looked to be around the same age as Chance, laughed and clapped his cousin on the back.
“Are you going to be here for Christmas, Miss Lambert?”
She nodded at him hesitantly. “I think so.”
“Then you’re in for a big treat. Aunt Dee’s the best cook this side of the Pecos.”
“Too bad you’ll have to miss it,” Chance spoke up.
He shot Chance a mocking glance. “That’s what you think. I just gave her a pheasant to bake for Christmas dinner.”
“We’re having turkey.”
“I’m having pheasant, too,” he told Chance, then laughing, he climbed into the patrol car. “You two behave. That’s an order.”
With a good-natured groan, Chance waved him out of the driveway. “That boy is—” Chance’s words came to an abrupt halt as he turned around to see Lucinda limping hurriedly toward the house. “Lucinda?”
She didn’t answer or acknowledge that she’d heard him. Cursing under his breath, he trotted after her. Just as she was about to step up onto the porch, he caught her by the arm.
“What’s the matter? Are you in that big of a hurry to get away from me?”
Lucinda darted a glance at him, then as quickly looked away. “I’m—just cold.”
She looked more than cold to Chance. Her face was as white as the snow on the ground and she was trembling so badly her teeth were chattering. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost! What’s frightened you?”
Frustrated with herself and with him, she tried to shake the hold he had on her arm, but her efforts only made him tighten his grip.
“There’s nothing wrong with me,” she said, trying her best to sound convincing.
“I see. That’s why you’re quaking like a leaf. That’s why you were running to the house. Are you trying to completely ruin your ankle?”
Something about the tone of his voice struck a nerve inside Lucinda, making resentment flare in her eyes as she glared up at him. “If you really must know, your cousin scared me. So there! Can you quit questioning me now? Because I don’t like it!”
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