by Carolina Mac
“Born this way, I guess.” I walked over to the fridge and pulled out smoked meat for sandwiches. With bread and meat laid out on the counter, I washed a tomato and started slicing it with a serrated knife. I sucked in a breath and a little mewling sound escaped from my throat when Gary slipped his arm around me from behind. He shoved his hand up under my shirt, grabbed my right breast and squeezed.
My adrenaline surged and without thinking I acted in reflex. I squealed from the pain, wheeled and rammed the knife into Gary’s ribs.
“You bitch, you stabbed me,” he hollered as he fell to the kitchen floor clutching his wound. Blood oozed out of him as I called 911. I ran to the bathroom and hurled, turned the lock on the door, then sat on the toilet lid and called Rob.
“What is it, baby?” he sounded out of breath.
“Can you come home?” I said through the sobbing. “I stabbed Gary.”
“Fuck, Grace. I’ll be right there. Half an hour.”
The paramedics arrived, delayed slightly by the February weather. The roads were icy and snow was falling steadily. I opened the door and let them in. They were followed by two police officers.
“Knife wound,” said one medic, “start an IV.”
“Not deep,” said the other, “I’ve got the bleeding under control.”
They strapped Gary to a gurney and wheeled him into the waiting ambulance. I sat on one of the kitchen chairs and laid my head on the table.
“Can you tell me what happened here, miss?” The officer was dressed in dark blue and he had his winter issue parka on with warm gloves and big boots. His face was all I could see, but he had nice brown eyes. His partner was a little taller, but dressed identically.
“I was making lunch for Gary. That’s him, my husband’s brother—he just got out of prison and he’s staying with us.”
“Okay, you were making his lunch.” He pulled out a small black notebook.
“I started to slice up the tomatoes and he came up behind me and…and grabbed me. He squeezed my breast and I lost it. I turned around with the knife in my hand and I stabbed him. It was a reflex thing more than anything.”
The officer tipped his head to one side. “He sexually assaulted you—and you almost ready to have your baby, looks like.” He frowned and took notes.
I nodded. “Another month. He groped me and my first thought was… he was going to rape me. I was afraid for the baby.”
“And the victim has a prison record?”
“He was just released. Detective Spangler knows him well. Could you call her for me?”
“I’ll do that for you, miss. You seem upset, and in your condition, I don’t want things to go downhill with me on the scene.” He smiled.
The police officers were drinking coffee when Rob arrived looking like he had seen the grim reaper himself. “What happened, baby?” He wrapped me in his arms and I sobbed.
“Gary…”
“Never mind. I know it was him and not you.” Rob’s face was red and his eyes were blazing. I sensed that he was trying to hold it together in front of the cops.
“Sir, can I ask you a couple questions about your brother?”
“Sure.” Rob took his coat off and sat down. He ran his fingers through his long hair and sucked in a big breath. I poured him a mug of coffee.
“You let your brother stay here when he got out of prison?”
“His own trailer won’t be vacant for another two weeks. Grace was nice enough to let him stay here.” Rob jumped up and hollered. “And look what he does. He touches my pregnant wife.”
“How do you know he touched your wife, sir?”
“You don’t have to spell it out for me. I know my brother, and he is one bad dude. There is no other reason under the sun that Grace would stab him. Not one.”
There was a knock on the door and Detective Spangler joined the party. “Officer Sproule filled me in on what happened, Miss Whitmarsh. Are you all right?” She stared hard at my big belly.
“I’m still shaky, but I’m not going into labor if I can help it.”
“I hope not.” Spangler smiled. “You let Mr. Eastman stay here… because?”
“Rob and I rented his trailer and the people won’t be out for two more weeks.”
“Right. And for your trouble…never mind.” Spangler shook her head with a disgusted look on her face.
“Would you stay for a coffee?” I asked. “I’d feel better if you were here.”
“Sure. I could use a cup.”
Rob filled a mug and brought it to the table.
“You two have been getting along well?” Spangler asked.
Rob nodded. “We’re married. I love Grace and we’re having a baby.”
“I noticed that,” said Spangler, “It looks like it might be soon. “Congratulations.”
“You’ve got this Detective?” asked the officer.
“Yes, I have Constable. Throw your report on my desk tomorrow sometime.”
After the response team had all gone, Rob sat on the sofa and held me in his arms. He said nothing, but I could feel the anger inside him. I could almost hear it bubbling. His phone rang and I guessed it was Gary.
“Okay.”
“Do you have to go out?” I tipped my head up and kissed him on the mouth.
“Something I have to do. I love you, girl.”
ROB WAS LATE coming home from work the next day. The roads were bad north of the ridge. The weatherman on the radio didn’t have a good word to say about the forecast and I was worried. When I saw the truck lights in the driveway, I breathed a sigh of relief. Rob ran up the steps and I smiled as he opened his coat, pulled me close and wrapped me up.
“You’re freezing.” I brushed the snow out of his hair.
He laughed. “It’s winter out there. I’m glad I’m not riding my bike.”
“Me too.” I kissed him. “Your lips are warm.”
“I love you, Grace. Forever and ever.”
I smiled and felt happiness inside me. It had been a long road. “I’m so happy we’re married, Robbie. It makes me feel… I don’t know… so safe.”
I put dinner on the table and we had finished the chicken parmesan and were working on the lemon pie when the knock came on the door.
“Detective Spangler, I didn’t expect to see you so soon,” I said. McMurtry was right behind her and I knew it was official business.
“I have some bad new to impart to Mr. Eastman,” she said. “Maybe you already knew about this.” She stared straight at Rob.
“Knew about what?” asked Rob.
“The tenants at your brother’s trailer found your brother in the back of his truck.”
“I told him he couldn’t stay here anymore, after what he did to Grace” said Rob. “Guess he was lookin for a place to sleep.”
“He was badly beaten and frozen to death,” said Spangler.
I sucked in a breath.
Rob told me Gary had another place to stay.
“Guess he had nowhere else to go,” said Rob.
“Guess not,” said McMurtry. “You’re under arrest for suspicion of murder.”
Rob stood up. “I pounded the shit out of him for touching Grace, but I didn’t fuckin kill him. You don’t need cuffs.” He put his coat and boots on. “I love you Grace.”
I held him in my arms until they pulled him away from me and took him to the cruiser.
I ran to my bedroom and cried myself to sleep.
SPANGLER SHRUGGED ON her coat and waited for her partner in his office after Rob was booked and taken downstairs to the holding cells. “Godammit, Mick, that didn’t work out right. The wrong fucking brother is in jail.
“Yeah,” said McMurtry with a shake of his head. “I feel sorry for what Miss Whitmarsh has gone through and now she’s having a baby all alone.”
“If only we could have matched Tina Rodriguez to her stage name one fucking day sooner we would have had that fucking animal, Gary Eastman.”
“Don’t let it get to you. Without matching her prin
ts, how could anybody know that Tina Rodriguez and Bambi Bazinga were the same person?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
I HEADED UP to the Super Jail to see Rob near the end of March. The court had convicted him of killing his brother even though the skimpy evidence was purely circumstantial. They gave him seven years for aggravated assault resulting in death. Rob never denied beating Gary to a pulp, but he adamantly denied killing him.
It had snowed several inches overnight, but the roads were plowed and the sun was shining brightly when I left the park. The kind of a winter’s day when you needed sun glasses to filter the intense glare of the snow.
I felt big and bulky and barely able to waddle, but my full-length winter coat hid the baby completely and I intended to leave it on for the duration of my visit with Rob. The closer my delivery date came, the more Rob worried about me having the baby on my own. The previous week, I had missed our visit because of a snow storm. If he didn’t see me today, he would be out of his mind with worry.
Every time I visited he urged me to tell Lonnie about the baby.
“Tell the trucker and let him man up, baby. I don’t want you doing this on your own.”
“We’re married, Robbie. I want to wait for you.”
“No, Grace. It’s gonna be too long. This is my fault. Tell him and he’ll take care of you.”
The parking lot of the jail had been plowed but walking to the front entrance was treacherous.
God, please don’t let me fall and break a leg.
“I’m here to see Rob Eastman,” I said to the officer in the reception area. He was a large bald man stuffed into a uniform two sizes too small and the buttons were straining around his mid-section.
He looked up from the list on his clip board. “Eastman was transferred to Millhaven.”
“What?”
“We don’t have him any more ma’am.”
“Why was he moved?”
“Can’t answer that ma’am. You’ll have to contact his lawyer or the warden.”
“Can I see the warden?”
“Not here on Sundays, ma’am.”
“Okay, thanks.” Why had they sent Rob to Millhaven? It was so far away. Almost a three-hour drive.
ON THE WAY home, my mind was on Rob when it should have been on my driving. I wondered what had happened to get him transferred to that awful Millhaven. There were stories and rumors about that place, but no prison was a good place to be. It was as simple as that. I wondered when I’d be able to see him again and tears welled up in my eyes.
It was March—winter in Ontario and the roads were slippery. As I came over the brow of a hill the big truck hit a patch of black ice, twirled around twice and backed itself into the ditch, stopping with such a lurch, I almost hurled.
With the four-wheel drive engaged, I tried several times to rock the big beast out of the ditch, but the snow was too deep and I succeeded in digging myself deeper. Chains were what I needed and didn’t have. The engine smelled hot and the cab reeked of gasoline as I sat and waited for CAA to send a tow truck. My cell rang. A confirmation.
“Confirming your emergency call, ma’am. Because of conditions in your area, there is a one to two hour wait for service.”
Great. I’ll just wait here tipped half upside down. Why do I feel so sick? Was it the bump when I hit the ditch or something else?
My body shivered. I started the engine for the third time and checked the gas gauge. Between quarter tank and empty. Shit. Now what? What is that fucking pain in my side? Jesus H. please don’t give me labor now. I beg you. I pulled my coat closer around me and tried to get comfortable.
Should I leave the truck and start walking? Who the hell can help me?
“Do I really want to do this?” I asked myself out loud as I scrolled for the number. “Hi, Lonnie. Are you at home?”
“What’s wrong, Grace? You sound stressed.”
“I’m…having a bit of trouble. I’m in the ditch half way to town and CAA is tied up for another hour at least.”
Lonnie sucked in a breath. “I can’t get you out with the rig. I’ve got a trailer and a full load on.”
“Could you possibly pick me up? I have another problem.”
“What is it?”
“Umm…it’s hard to explain…but it’s time sensitive.”
“Fuck, Grace. I don’t know what that means. Okay, I’m coming.”
“Thanks.”
Ow, that hurts. How close was that contraction to the last one? I forgot to check the time.
I turned the key and started the truck one more time to warm myself up and stop the shivering. My teeth were chattering. Maybe from the cold or maybe from being scared shitless of a night in the maternity ward. I laid my head back, closed my eyes and waited for Lonnie.
I wished for Rob, but had to put him out of my head for the time being. I was over Lon and in love with my husband. What kind of cruel trick was life playing on me?
I heard Lon coming long before I saw him. He geared down and I saw the four-way flashers come on after he parked. He loped around the rig setting out safety flares.
Jesus H., Lon, could you hurry it up? Do you have to be such a safety dick?
Two minutes later he was standing beside the driver’s door trying to get it open. The angle of my truck in the ditch made that door impossible to open. “You have to get out the passenger door, Grace,” he hollered. The wind howled viciously and snow swirled around Lonnie’s head coating his dark hair like white icing on chocolate cake.
I smiled at him through the window and nodded that I understood, then scrunched under the steering wheel and tried to heave my bulk over the console. Fuck, not now. I stopped, perched on top of the console, gritted my teeth and waited for the contraction to subside.
Lonnie had moved around to the other side of the truck and stood in snow up to his knees with the door open. He reached for my arm. His eyes were wide as he looked at the size of my belly under my coat. There was no hiding it any longer. “Fuck, Grace. Are you…?”
Might as well heave it all right out there.
“Your son wants to be born while I’m in the ditch,” I said with a giggle.
“My son?”
“That’s right, cowboy.”
“My son?”
“You gone deaf, sugar? And don’t ask me if I’m sure. This little person was conceived at a truck stop outside of Chicago when you were less than prepared, and I was less than brilliant.”
Lonnie nodded. “Right.”
I was sure he hadn’t forgotten our first time in the sleeper.
“My son?” Lonnie was wearing the sappiest grin I’d ever seen on a man.
“Can you get me to the rig? I don’t know how much time we have.”
“Fuck, Gracie. You could have told me.”
“I could have, but sometimes you’re a bit of a prick.”
“Don’t I know it?” He was chuckling now.
“Yeah, like this is funny?” I asked. He wrapped a strong arm around me and half dragged, half carried me to the rig.
The cab of the truck was warm and cozy. Ted wagged his tail and whined for me to reach back and pet him when he saw me get in.
“This feels better. Ow…that fucking hurts.” I hollered and rubbed my side where the pain stabbed through me.
“Damn it to hell, Grace. Why didn’t you tell me? All these months I could have been helping you. I could have done something…instead of nothing.”
“You’re doing something now. You’re taking me to the hospital.”
“I could have done more. Like…made you toast when you were puking…and like that.”
“Uh huh.” I giggled.
“Where’s the hospital in town, honey?”
“It’s on the corner of Kent and…oh no…fucking ass wipe,” I hollered.
“What’s fucking ass wipe, baby?” Lonnie’s face wore a look of horror.
“My water broke. It’s running down my legs and I’m soaking wet.”
“Fuc
k,” he hollered and pounded the steering wheel. “I’m no good at this.”
“You’re a virgin, cowboy. A daddy virgin.”
“Fuck, I’m gonna be a dad. I can’t believe it.”
“Believe it and it might be sooner than you think.”
“I’m shaking. Hold on, Grace. Don’t do anything crazy.”
I stole a quick glance at Lonnie and beads of sweat were trickling from his hairline. Seconds later a huge contraction started and I let go a stream of cursing. “Goddam rotten load of motherfucking shit,” I screamed as I held my side and tried to catch a breath.
Lonnie tried to suppress a chuckle unsuccessfully. “That must have hurt, honey.”
“Hurt? I want to hurt you, you, big fucker.” The pain made me screw up my face. “You did this,” I hollered at him, “You put this baby in here.”
Lonnie was laughing out loud as he steered the eighteen-wheeler around the corner at Angeline Street. When he reached the hospital parking lot there was no space big enough for the rig and he couldn’t navigate through the drop off circle at the emergency doors.
“Fuck, I can’t get close enough,” he hollered.
“It’s okay. I can walk.”
“You can’t walk. I’m gonna have to carry you.” Lonnie opened the passenger door and took me in his arms. As soon as the icy wind hit my wet jeans I started to shiver.
“Stay there, Ted.” Lonnie shoved the door closed with his hip and headed across the slick parking area. When he reached the sidewalk, his boots crunched on the salt and I felt more confident that he wouldn’t slip and fall with me in his arms. Once inside the door he commandeered a wheel chair and set me gently down in it. “Grace is having a baby,” he said to the nurse at reception.
She looked at the goofy expression on Lonnie’s face and giggled. “No doubt about it,” she said eyeing me and my huge belly. I’ll get someone to help you.”
“Thanks,” said Lonnie looking relieved. “I should have had a smoke. Wonder how long this is gonna take.” He looked to me for an indication of a time frame and I shrugged.
“Never did it before. I’m hoping it only takes a few.”
“Me too.” He couldn’t stop smiling.
He’s a happy dad if nothing else.