by A. V. Zeppa
Marco stood in front of the mirror making sure his hair looked just right while Crystalized, by The xx played in the background. He always looked flawless in his school uniform. He hated to wear it, so he bent the school’s strict dress code to his liking with his own fashionable flair. His burgundy blazers were hand tailored and always fit perfectly, and so did his array of black Armani skinnys. And of course over three dozen pairs of Gucci shoes were needed, because how dare one wear the same shoes more than once a month. Marco knew how hot he looked, and so did everyone else. He finished his ensemble with a white Armani dress shirt and a skinny black tie. He looked in the full length mirrors turning in different positions to make sure he looked perfect at all angles. This was his morning ritual Monday through Friday.
Macro had it all going for him and he knew it. The combination of his Spanish and Asian lineage gave him an exotic look no other student at Pembrooke even came close to having. He turned heads wherever he went with his tall slender body, pitch dark hair, olive skin tone, and eyes that could melt the sun. He was the envy of every guy at school. And now he had one more piece of Rhodium that could be added to his already impressive collection. Laying on his desk was a letter from Columbia University.
Dear Mr. Valerio,
It is our pleasure to inform you that you have been selected for a personal interview with Columbia Universities’ Office of Admissions. You have been selected to the next level in the Early Decision process because of your SAT score, your personal essay, and your academic background. It is apparent that you are a hardworking, very responsible and dedicated young man. We are proud to extend this invitation to the next step in your academic career with a personal interview on Saturday, October 10th at 11:00 am.The interview will take place at Pupin Hall, room 514, located on Columbia’s Morningside Heights campus. Once again, congratulations on being selected for a formal interview.
Sincerely,
Stacy M. Bergen
Admissions Officer
Marco had applied as an Early Decision candidate to Columbia University, and now they wanted to interview him in one week. He couldn’t believe that he was being considered for their world renowned writing program. It was a dream come true. Marco hoped the 2140 he received on his SAT would be high enough to get him in.
He never told any of his friends how much he wanted to go there. He kept that particular dream to himself. He looked at that confident demeanor reflecting back in the mirror, knowing his writing prowess and physical attributes would help him grab that elusive gold ring.
His phone rang as he walked from his dressing room back to his bedroom. It was Zander, his best friend. “Hey, what’s up?”
“You won’t believe it. I got the IDs last night,” he said, excited as hell.
“Cool. How did you get them so fast?”
“I promised to neck the guy five times..lol.”
“Are you serious?”
“You know I’m only kidding, although he was pretty hot. I wouldn’t mind necking him. But seriously, when you wave two crisp one-hundred dollar bills in someone’s face, things get done. So are we still on to hit Retro’s tonight?”
“Of course. It’s college night and I need to see some hot college boy ass shaking it on the dance floor. I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”
“Keep it in your pants, unless you want me to come over and take care of it for you. I’d love to get at that piece of yours.”
“Cut it out. We’ll find some hotties tonight and both get what we want. They have to be ten times better than what we’ve been fucking. I’m so bored with immature guys that don’t know what they’re doing. I need to experience someone older who really knows how to fuck.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. You’ll have them eating out of your hands like you always do. Maybe some of your charm will attract a few my way. Just don’t take them all, ok?”
“Ok, I’ll leave a few for you..lol Come on, you’re hot as hell and you know it. We’ll show those college boys how Upper East Side gay boys party. I’ll see you in a few.”
He was excited to finally be going to one of the hottest gay bars in Chelsea. He heard how great college night was from Thomas, a cute guy from another prep school he occasionally had sex with. Thomas had gone to Retro’s a few weeks earlier. He told Marco all about it when they skipped school one afternoon to fuck. Now he was only hours away from his own sexual ecstasy.
Marco loved sex pure and simple. He didn’t like to complicate things by staying tied to one guy. He did have his share of boyfriends over the years, but always ended up cheating on them. He simply didn’t want to connect emotionally. He finally had enough of the boring boyfriend routine and decided that one night stands were the only way to go. He loved to use guys because it was uncomplicated, unemotional. It was the perfect way to satisfy his raging hormones without all of the bullshit. The guys he fucked knew where they stood, so everyone got what they wanted. But even though this plan had been working flawlessly, every now and then he wondered what it would be like to have a real boyfriend, someone he actually liked, or maybe even loved. He didn’t have a clue why he would think about love, because sex was his perfection.
Even though he was excited about going to Retro’s, he was more excited about the possibility of matriculating at Columbia. It had been his goal since the age of twelve. Both of his parents had gone to Princeton and wanted him to follow in their footsteps, but they reluctantly understood their son’s desire to follow his own path. They supported Marco by not interfering or trying to manipulate him, although this was especially difficult for his overbearing mother.
While taking the elevator down to the lobby he decided that he needed a bit of extra inspiration. He knew he would be late for school, but told Max, his father’s chauffeur, to drive by Columbia’s main campus before dropping him off. He hoped it would help him get through the coming week in one piece. The next eight days were going to change his life in the most profound ways.
Marco’s mind drifted to the past as the Escalade made its way across Central Park North. He started thinking about Dylan, his one true boyfriend from seventh grade. He smiled while remembering the great times they had together. Dylan was the first boy Marco had ever kissed. He had the biggest crush on him and finally let him know when they went to a Halloween party together. Marco knew he was gay by the age of ten, but had never acted on his desires until he met Dylan a couple of years later. He was instantly attracted to him, so they became friends. The Halloween party was where Marco got the courage to tell him.
The party was at his best friend Claire’s penthouse, so he knew where they could sneak off and be alone. He had it all planned out. During the peak of the party he told Dylan that he wanted to ask him something but needed to ask in private. They went to the den at the other end of the main floor. Marco closed the sliding doors, and without saying a word, leaned in and kissed him. He waited to be pushed away, or punched, but Dylan did neither. Instead, he put his arms around Marco and started kissing him with more intensity. That was the moment he had fallen in love. From that point on they were inseparable for the rest of seventh grade.
They had countless sleepovers where they could be themselves with no one making judgments. The emotional connection they shared went way beyond any poetic words he could ever write.
Marco also experienced the pain of losing love. During the summer between seventh and eighth grade Dylan’s father was transferred to Japan. It almost killed him when Dylan moved away. They tried the long distance relationship thing, promising to stay together, but reality got in the way. During the fall of that year Dylan sent a breakup letter to Marco saying that he was going out with a girl from school. He ended the letter by saying that he would keep the love he had for Marco locked in his heart forever. Those words tore him to shreds. He vowed never to get close to anyone again.
Marco wiped his eyes and forced his mind back to the present before completely losing it. He didn’t know if what he had with Dylan was love, a t
eenage crush, or just the elation of coming out to someone. He had written about it many times through the tragically flawed characters in his stories. He took quiet comfort in those characters because love was no longer part of his DNA.
Marco looked with fervent eyes as Max slowly drove past the front gates of Columbia. He watched as students made their way inside, wishing he could do the same. He wanted to extract whatever bits of experiential awareness and poetic alchemy lay in wait just for him, knowing it would help him write sentences that would slice through skin, making one bleed with each word read. This singular goal was far more erotic than the loveless sex he constantly craved.
CHAPTER 3
Tyler
OCTOBER
True friendship runs deep in the hearts of those it magically embraces. Like a crescent sun eclipse, it is one of those rare gifts that very few people receive and genuinely appreciate. No one really knows why it happens, how two people randomly meet and then easily share their passions and dreams within emotional perfection. This humanistic connection always strikes when least expected, and if a person is lucky enough, it lasts a lifetime. Sometimes it even enters into that other realm where two become one.
Tyler helped David carry his telescope down the steep well-worn path. They talked about a book they were both reading as they made their way back to the house. Halfway down the hill Tyler almost dropped the telescope twice because he was looking up instead of watching where he was going. Once the telescope was safely back in the bedroom, Tyler flung himself onto David’s bed, leaned against a couple of pillows and began his usual ritual. His eyes went from poster to poster while David was busy taking things out of his backpack.
Tyler had seen these posters a million times, but always enjoyed looking at them because they were so different from his own. They made him feel happy and content for some reason. He knew those images were some sort of complex puzzle, an intimate journey, that if constructed correctly, would allow him to enter deeper into David’s unique world.
His eyes went from image to image as he thought back to that pivotal day when they had become friends. It happened during a little league baseball game. Tyler was one of those natural athletes that every parent and teammate admired. He was a pitcher, catcher, third baseman, and shortstop. He also had the highest batting average and the most home runs on the team.
David, on the other hand, was not athletic at all, so he was constantly getting picked on. Even the coach and his own father criticized him in their clever little ways. Tyler felt sorry for him because he could see that his heart wasn’t in it. During one of the first practices he overheard his father talking to David’s father about their glory days in high school when they played. That’s when he knew David was being forced to play.
Things got pretty intense when two assholes on the team started taunting David relentlessly, calling him a bitch and dick muncher whenever the coach was out of earshot. Just before the start of their sixth game, Tyler finally had enough of their shit and told them to shut the fuck up. They turned on him, calling him David’s faggot boyfriend. He lost it and proceeded to kick both of their asses in front of everyone. The coach ran into the dugout and grabbed Tyler, but he pulled away and let the coach have it too. “I’m fucking tired of everyone picking on David. You know what’s been going on but you don’t do a fucking thing about it?” The coach started to yell at Tyler, but suddenly stopped, like he had just remembered his own days as a bully.
He composed himself and gave the entire team a lecture about supporting one another. When he finished his speech, he took the two bullies off to the side to let them know they were benched for the next two games. Tyler moved over and sat next to David and tried to calm down. He caught his breath and then asked David if he wanted to hang out after the game. They became best friends from that day on.
Tyler smiled at that memory while continuing to go from poster to poster. There were images of the universe in different stages of evolution, clusters of mystical looking galaxies, supernovas, black holes, and futuristic looking spacecraft. Scattered in between those were pictures of Rush, Geddy Lee, David Gilmour, Thom York, and Chester Bennington. They were musicians David admired and listened to. There weren’t any posters of pretty girls or sports cars like Tyler had hanging on his walls.
He ended the poster game by staring at the wall next to the bed. He studied the fierce eyes of Einstein and Eldridge. He knew David was made from the same mold because his eyes had that same intensity.
Just below those pictures were some new ones he had never seen before. He looked closely at one in particular because the guy looked a lot like him. “Who are these guys?”
David walked over to see who he was talking about. “Oh, them. Let me introduce you to Ezra Miller, Freddie Highmore, and Keir Gilchrist. I think they’re really fine actors, and I think they’re cute too.” Tyler felt a jealous ping hit his stomach with those words.
“You know something, I kind of look like this Keir guy, don’t you think?”
“Weird coincidence, isn’t it?” David said, with a sly grin.
Tyler looked at the picture again and then turned back and caught David checking out his body. David quickly looked away, wanting to run out of the room. Tyler sensed his embarrassment and tried to let him know that he didn’t mind. “Well, I think you have excellent taste in guys. It’s kind of cool that I look like him.” David didn’t say anything, so Tyler bumped his leg against his and smiled. “Hey, it’s all cool, ok?”
“Thanks.” Still feeling embarrassed, David turned and walked back to his closet to gather himself, and to find something else to wear.
Tyler’s mind was going a mile a minute at the thought of David checking him out. It made him feel good, but it also added to the mixed emotions he had been wrestling with. He needed to calm down, so he turned onto his side and noticed a whiteboard filled with weird looking math equations leaning against David’s guitar. “What’s all this?” Tyler asked.
David turned to see what he was talking about. “Oh that. I’m learning some new math for
M-theory. It’s interesting stuff.”
“I love how your mind works. You are unbelievable, you know that?”
“Awe, that’s so sweet of you to say.”
Tyler tried his hardest not to, but he was checking David out as he stripped down to his boxers while looking through his closet. He admired David’s slender frame, smooth chest, and slight six pack abs. This scared him because it excited him. He thought David was hot, but felt guilty about it, like he was doing something very very wrong. It didn’t matter to Tyler that David was gay, but being gay himself was something he wasn’t ready to deal with. He knew how difficult it was for David, and didn’t know if he could ever be that strong.
After David had come out in middle school Tyler began looking a little closer, trying to see what made him tick. It wasn’t because he was afraid of him, or afraid to be seen with him. It was because of what he was feeling. He wanted to figure it out but denied himself to seriously go there. It was easier to hide within the straight persona instead of facing the truth. But the feelings he had for David were now getting too intense to ignore, so he finally decided to go for it.
He looked away for a second and tried to gather up all of the courage he possessed. Then he turned back towards David, who was zipping up his jeans.
“Which one should I wear?” he asked, holding up two t-shirts.
“The Red one.” While David slipped the red t-shirt over his head, Tyler scanned his sexy v-lines and cute little abs into his brain, making his heart almost pound right out of his chest.
David shook his shaggy hair back in place and asked, “Do I look all right?”
“You look prefect as always.”
“Thanks. I think I need a haircut though.” David giggled because he couldn’t see anything through his long bangs. “Please don’t cut it. I really like the way it looks.”
David parted his bangs with his fingers. “Thanks. I kind of lik
e it too.”
Tyler tried to move but was paralyzed with fear. He wanted to hold David in his arms and never let go. He wanted to feel David’s heartbeat in rhythm with his own. He wanted to know what being gay felt like without having to hide. He sat up on the edge of the bed, took a deep breath, then stood up and looked into those determined blue eyes hoping the right words would come out. “David?”
“Yeah?”
“We’ve known each other for a long time, and I’ve always been honest with you, right?”
“Yeah. We’ve always been honest with each other. That’s what best friends do.”
“I feel the same way, so…” Tyler’s voice trailed off.
David gave him a worried look. “What’s wrong?”
Tyler was shaking slightly. “Y-you know, if I were gay, I’d ask you out in a heartbeat. I just wanted you to know that. I hope you don’t think that’s a weird thing to say, but it’s the truth. It’s how I really feel and I just wanted you to know.”
Tyler saw the shock on his face and hoped he hadn’t gone too far. David couldn’t believe what he had just heard, but he did hear it, and for the first time in his life was able to look at Tyler’s gorgeous face and gorgeous lips without the fear of getting caught. “That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.” Tyler smiled and then slowly put his hands on David’s waist and pulled him close. “I really mean it.”
“I know you do.” David had wished for this moment on a million falling stars and now his wish had come true. Being held by Tyler felt perfect. He whispered, “Tyler?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you kiss me?” At that point David’s whole body began to tremble. Tyler held him against his chest and rubbed his back. Once David relaxed, Tyler pulled away and looked into his loving eyes, and then leaned in and kissed those soft beautiful lips. Sparks flew in every direction as soon as they connected. They were encapsulated with emotions that had been patiently waiting for years to meet. That first kiss, and their soft caresses, made them realize how connected they had always been. A few minutes later Tyler reluctantly pulled his lips from David’s. He whispered, “That was nice.”