by A. V. Zeppa
“Spanish and Asian mix.”
“Very nice. Very sexy” He leaned in and nibbled on Marco’s lips. Marco loved how aggressive Jordan seemed to be. It was measured. It was dominant. It was sexy. He loved the way Jordan’s full luscious lips felt against his. The way Jordan used his tongue to slip inside his body.
“What college do you go to?” Marco asked, after they came up for air.
“Columbia.”
“Really? I love Columbia.”
“Yeah, me too. I’m a junior.”
“So tell me, what’s it like?”
“I love it. It’s everything I thought it would be. The professors are fucking brilliant and accessible. And the campus is amazing. You work your ass off, but there’s a lot of fun to be had as well.”
“Very cool. What’s your major?”
“I’m majoring in Mathematics and minoring in Philosophy.”
“Nice. I’ve applied as an Early Decision candidate. I’m actually going for an interview next Saturday.”
“I hate to ask, but how old are you?”
“Eighteen.”
“Cool. We could hang out if you get in.” Jordan started rubbing Marco’s leg and asked, “Would you like to go to my apartment and well, you know.”
“Yeah, I wanna get all over you.” Marco slid his hand to Jordan’s crotch and rubbed it. Jordan closed his eyes and sighed. He had him exactly where he wanted.
“Where do you live?”
“112th and Amsterdam. It’s near The Cathedral of St. John. Do you know where that is?”
“Yeah, I’ve been in that area a few times. Let’s grab a cab and do it.”
Marco sent Zander a text letting him know where he was going. His fantasy was about to become reality. He was going to break night by having the best sex of his life with an Ivy League college hottie.
It was 9:30 in the morning when Marco finally left Jordan’s apartment. They exchanged phone numbers even though he knew he’d never call him. Diplomacy was part of chase.
Marco walked down 112th toward Broadway thinking about his night of uninhibited sex. He spotted a restaurant on the corner and went in. He texted Zander to let him know where he was. Zander responded a couple of minutes later saying he was still at Darren’s near Washington Square Park.
“How good was it? That guy was fucking hot,” Zander said.
“It was perfect. I can’t even tell you how many positions we did it in.”
“Same here. Let’s talk when we meet up.”
“I’m at Tom’s Restaurant at 112th and Broadway. Cab up here.”
“Cool. See you in about forty-five.”
Marco sat there drinking coffee thinking about Jordan. The night had gone just as he planned. Even though it was the best sex he ever had, he didn’t feel as satisfied as he thought he would. Instead, he felt kind of lonely and depressed and didn’t know why. He went through the whole night in his mind hoping to find a clue. It didn’t make sense, so the only cure was to either have more sex or go on a writing frenzy. He sipped his coffee and let his mind wander. He started formulating an idea for a new story as a way to analyze his night of conquest. He called it Empty Victories.
CHAPTER 6
David
OCTOBER
FRIDAY
The view over Lake Michigan was breathtaking. David had only been on a plane a few times, but each time he flew he always enjoyed looking down at Grand Traverse Bay, Lake Michigan, and the numerous sand dunes that dotted the shoreline. As a kid he liked to pretend that he was a god looking down at the earth from Mount Olympus. But this time his mind was elsewhere. The New York City skyline, Columbia’s campus, Tyler, and the life he was potentially leaving behind preoccupied his synapses. David’s mind reeled backward as the plane flew forward. He started thinking about the aftermath of his date with Tyler. How everything began to unravel the very next day.
The following morning he texted Tyler to let him know what a great time he had at Melissa’s. He also asked if he wanted to hang out later in the day. Tyler didn’t text back until eleven-thirty that night. It was short and cold. He told David that he was scared and confused. David knew he was in all out panic mode. He told him once again that there was no pressure on his part, and to take all the time he needed to figure things out.
Tyler didn’t text or come over on Sunday like he usually did, and the drive to school Monday morning was quiet and strained. David tried to get a conversation going but Tyler wasn’t interested. Melissa tried to help, but it was no use. David stared blankly at the road hoping Tyler didn’t hate him.
Then things went from bad to worse as soon as they got to school. A lot of people stared at them as they walked to their lockers. One of Tyler’s jock friends walked up and asked, “How was your date with your boyfriend? Did you give him tongue?” Tyler told him to fuck off. He walked away from David and Melissa totally pissed. The news of their date spread all over school like wildfire. Tyler was teased mercilessly the entire day. David felt terrible because he didn’t deserve the grief he was getting.
He was even getting picked more than usual. Two guys from Tyler’s baseball team grabbed him as soon as he walked out of his Calculus class. They shoved him against the lockers and accused him of turning Tyler gay. They both threatened him, but Derrick, the bigger and more ignorant of the two, made it personal. “I hate faggots you fuckin cocksucker. You’re a fuckin disease that’s gotta be wiped off the earth.” It was the first time since middle school that David felt real fear. He knew Derrick meant it.
He went into protection mode and decided to eat lunch in the physics lab. Christian, his friend and lab partner came in near the end of lunch and told David what was going on.
“I was standing in line getting lunch and overheard Tyler and his friends talking. He told them that he didn’t really ask you out on a date. He said it was just something he wanted to do to piss Brad off. He said the kiss was meant to do the same thing.” David put his book down. “Did he say anything else?”
“No, but his friends did. They blamed you for everything and told Tyler not to hang around with you anymore because his rep is getting ruined by all the faggot rumors.”
David felt nervous and alone. He looked down at the table and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
“Just to let you know, I didn’t believe a word Tyler said. He likes you. I see the way he looks at you whenever you guys are together.”
“Please don’t let anyone else know that. Please?”
“No problem.”
David felt like he was choking to death. He couldn’t breathe. He put his head on the table and tried not to cry.
Tyler had successfully avoided David the entire day until it was time to go home. He walked into David’s physics class and asked if he was ready to leave. David could see how nervous Tyler was about being seen with him, so he decided to help him out. “I’m going to be staying late today, and for the rest of this week and next week because of this experiment I’m working on. I also need to get here an hour early. My dad is picking me up later, and said he would drive me to and from school for the next couple of weeks. That way you don’t have to wait around or pick me up in the morning. I appreciate you asking though.”
“Cool. See you around.” Tyler headed for the door and disappeared. David cried himself to sleep for the next three nights.
It was 2 am Thursday morning when David suddenly woke up in a confused state. He thought it was a dream, but he heard it again. Someone was tapping on his window and calling his name. He crawled out of bed and crouched down as he moved toward the window. As he got closer he saw Tyler standing in the yard looking down at the snow. He opened the window as quietly as he could and whispered “Do you want to come in and talk?”
“Thanks.” As soon as Tyler slid through the window he started crying.
“I’m so sorry for everything. I lied about us. I panicked.”
“It’s ok, I understand. I’m s
orry your friends found out.” He hugged Tyler and rubbed his back. “Let it all out.” He finally calmed down a few minutes later. “I’m such a fucking coward. I don’t know how you’ve taken it all these years. I really don’t”
“First of all, you’re not a coward. The haters are. Sadly, the world is filled with them. They hate what they can’t comprehend. It’s that simple.” They spent the rest of the night talking and decided to just be friends for the time being. David knew it was for the best, even though his heart was shattered.
The next thing on David’s mind was his father’s indifference about the interview. He couldn’t figure it out. His mother was excited about it. They talked about college life and New York all week. But his father didn’t show any emotion one way or the other. He never brought it up once. His silence reminded David of his reaction when he told him he was gay.
All of a sudden it hit David like a bolt of lightning. What if he did get accepted and didn’t get a full ride scholarship? Could his parents afford to send him? Did they even want him going to college in another state? That had to be it.
In truth, his father hadn’t said anything because he was afraid he would jinx it, and he would never want to do that. David’s father was a gifted baseball player in high school and had elaborate rituals he always followed. Superstitions are an integral part of the game, and he had them big time. Most athletes have rituals to keep the good karma from going askew. Nobody, but nobody ever talks about a no hitter when a pitcher is pitching one, or when a batter is on a hitting streak. So there was no way he was going to jinx his son’s dream of getting into Columbia University by talking about it.
David was the first person in his family to be going to a major university. His parents were very proud of this fact. Even if he didn’t get into Columbia, they knew he would be going to some other prestigious university because of the scholarship offers he was getting on a weekly basis. His SAT score had opened the flood gates with full ride scholarships and promises of an unequaled math and science education. David took all of it in stride while his parents were in awe of what was happening.
David needed to know if his father was ok with his college choice. “Dad, thank you for taking me to New York. I really appreciate it. I can’t believe this is actually happening. I was just wondering if you are ok with this. You’ve been pretty quiet since I got the letter.” His father gave him a reassuring smile. “Believe me son, I am. This is your dream. Your mom and I are proud of everything you’ve accomplished. We both want this to happen because you’ve worked so hard to get where you are. No father could be prouder than I am right now. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to give you something.” He reached into his laptop case and pulled out a small worn box and handed it to David. “I hope this brings you good luck.” David thanked him and opened it up. It was his dad’s Titans baseball lapel pin from his days as a short stop at Traverse City West High School. “That pin was given to me by the Booster Club when we came in first place in the regionals my junior year. We wore them the following year when we won the state championship. I want you to have it because it helped me achieve one of my dreams.”
“Thank you. This is awesome.” David carefully took it out of the box to get a good look. He had never seen it before. “Would you put it on for me?” His father pinned it on his shirt and made sure it was straight. “There you go.” David kissed his dad on the cheek, then said, “I love you.”
The view of the Manhattan skyline while crossing the Queensboro Bridge sent shivers down David’s spine. He could see three iconic structures making their presence known: The United Nations Building, the Chrysler Building, and the Empire State Building. He took pictures and sent them to Tyler and Melissa. His smile grew wide as the cab made its way into the heart of Manhattan.
His Father made reservations at the Hotel Newton ten blocks from Columbia’s campus, so they were headed in that direction. The cab drove west on 59th street, which allowed David to see many other iconic images of New York: The Plaza, Central Park, horse drawn carriages, and doormen standing outside ultra-modern apartment buildings. He kept thinking to himself, I’m actually here and it feels perfect.
“Well, what do you think?” his father asked.
“It’s overwhelming. To tell you the truth, I’m scared.” His father could see the panicked look on David’s face and tried to reassure him. “I’m afraid too. I’m not used to things being so busy. We definitely aren’t in Harbor Springs anymore. But don’t worry, it is just all new to us. Try to relax and enjoy it.”
“I’ll try. It just feels a little crazy.” David tried to find the confidence that had always gotten him through the rough times. He kept himself occupied by taking pictures and sending them to his mom and his friends.
After checking into the hotel, they got a map of the city at the front desk and started walking north on Broadway towards Columbia. David felt like he was in the land of OZ as they walked from block to block. He liked the tall buildings that lined the street and the wide crowded sidewalks. It was all a little unsettling until he realized how close he was to the campus.
Walking those last four blocks felt just like the first time David had gone on The Gatekeeper roller coaster at Cedar Point. It was scary and exhilarating. He saw the Columbia Bookstore sign and started walking faster. When he got there he peeked through the window to see what it looked like inside. “Do you want to go inside on our way back to the hotel?” his father asked.
“Definitely. I want to buy a Columbia t-shirt.” David walked the last two blocks without saying a word. He went up to the gates and touched them so he would know they weren’t a mirage. Then he looked up at the statues of Science and Knowledge and smiled.
“Are you ready to go in?” his dad asked.
“I’m more than ready.” They walked through the gates and followed a red brick walkway that lead to the center of campus. In a nanosecond the goosebumps came, making the hair on his arms stand straight up. David was now standing right in the middle of his dream.
As soon as they walked past the journalism building the entire campus greeted him. David was surrounded by an enclave of stately academic buildings, manicured lawns, and intimate gardens. He kept walking until he was in the absolute center of campus.
Once there he turned to his right. There stood Butler library, windows ensconced in a warm glow with an orange purplish dusk as its majestic backdrop. He then did a one eighty and was greeted by Low Library. It reminded David of the Parthenon because of its elevated and centered position.
David’s father purposely lagged behind. He understood that David needed to experience the moment by himself. To see for himself, and to understand how his hard work and academic abilities brought him to that very spot. He took a few pictures of David, hoping he wouldn’t mind. He wanted to capture the moment for him. As his father looked through the lens snapping away, he noticed a slight glow all around David’s body. It gave him a warm feeling because he knew that glow was destiny surrounding his beautiful, loving son.
David finally turned to his father with an infectious grin. “What do you think?”
“Impressive and intimidating.”
“I know what you mean.” David walked over and gave him a hug. “Dad, thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome son. You belong here.”
“I hope so.”
“There is no doubt in my mind.”
A couple of minutes later they decided to find Pupin Hall. They walked up the steps in front of Low Library so David could take some pictures. From there they walked through a maze of hedgerow which lead to another red brick walkway. The Mathematics Building was on the left, Pupin Hall was straight ahead. “Dad, this is where they split the uranium atom for the first time back in 1939.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“That breakthrough was the beginning of the Manhattan Project.”
David felt like he was entering a holy shrine as they walked into Pupin. He could smell the decades of
history and knowledge as they made their way down the main hall. A minute later he found the room where his interview was going to take place. He checked out a couple of the student bulletin boards before they left. From there they spent the next half hour walking around the campus taking pictures. David kept touching the Titan baseball pin hoping it still had some of its special powers.
CHAPTER 7
Marco
FRIDAY EVENING
OCTOBER 9TH
Marco sat at the dining room table with his parents while dinner was being served. It had been a long week on several fronts. He thought about everything that happened as he ate. He found out on Tuesday that several of his peripheral friends had gotten fake IDs. They found out about Zander and him going to Retro’s from Zander, and wanted to tag along on their next excursion. They bugged Marco all week about it. He was angry with Zander because the last thing he wanted was college night turning into the typical high school bullshit scene. That was the very thing he was escaping from. He hadn’t talked to Zander since Tuesday after telling him to stay the fuck away from him until further notice.
Then one of his ex’s wanted to get back together with him. Marco didn’t want to go anywhere near that fucking nightmare. He tried to let Jason know that it was really over, but Jason turned it into the typical yelling and drama scene. Half of the school watched it go down outside of the biology lab. Jason was totally out of control, yelling at Marco one minute, and then pleading with him to take him back the next. Marco tried to calm him down and explain that he wasn’t interested in settling down with just one guy. Then a couple of Jason’s girlfriends got into it, calling Marco a player and a slut. He finally walked away vowing never to hook up with anyone from school ever again.
The other thing that had been on his mind all week was the Columbia interview in the morning. He emailed a portfolio of his best writing on Monday as requested by the admissions office. That made him extremely nervous. What if they didn’t like anything he had written? He didn’t like the feeling of that uncertainty one bit, and it had slowly enveloped him to the point where he had a hard time sleeping all week.