Deep is the Heart

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Deep is the Heart Page 18

by A. V. Zeppa


  Near the end of David’s visit they spent their last remaining days together at Marco’s lake house in Connecticut. This was the first time they had been together without parents, friends, and pressures from the outside world. The insecurities each one brought with them seemed to vanish as they spent their time sailing, water-skiing, and enjoying the nightly campfires that kept them warm at night. It was just like being home for David. He looked up at that wondrous night sky and thanked the stars for finally granting his wish.

  Their last night together became one of those life defining moments for David. He hadn’t plan on it happening at all, but it did. They were both enjoying the campfire and the soft breeze coming off the lake when David nervously turned to Marco and said, “I really love you.”

  Marco smiled. “I really love you too.”

  David leaned in and kissed him with an intensity Marco had never felt before. Everything was just as David hoped this special moment would be: crickets chirping, the smell of the campfire, the stars looking down, and being with the boy he loved. He knew it needed to happen right then. “Marco, will you make love to me?” Marco had his arms around David and could feel his body shaking, not knowing if it was from the slight chill in the air, or from the realization of what he had just asked. “Are you sure you’re ready? I don’t want to put any pressure on you.”

  “Yes I’m sure. Please make love to me. I love you with all my heart,” David said, and then kissed Marco lightly on the lips.

  They put the campfire out and walked hand in hand back to the house without saying a word. David’s body trembled with fear and excitement. Marco’s emotions were going into brand new territory. He had never made love to another guy. For the first time in his life this was more than just calculated sex. This was the real thing.

  They spent the entire night making love in the lakefront porch as the waves serenely lapped at the shore, and the rhythmic chirping of crickets sang to those two beautiful naked bodies that were intertwined with love. Marco was gentle and patient as he explored every crevice of David’s slender body. David wanted Marco to make love to him any way he desired. He hoped Marco would find as much pleasure making love to him as he surely must have had with other guys from his past. David hated feeling insecure, but he was. He just hoped that giving up his virginity would be as special to Marco as it was to him.

  CHAPTER 22

  It was a beautiful late August afternoon as David, Tyler, and Melissa picnicked on their favorite beach one last time before heading off to college. The time had finally arrived when they were all going their separate ways. David sat there wishing he could break the hands off the face of time and stop it at that very moment. He knew a demented time keeper loved to play games with those disappearing adolescent seconds. Sadly, there was no way to alter the inevitable.

  It was the end of his childhood, his innocence, his life in the wilderness where he had come to know himself with no questions asked. Harbor Springs had given everything it could give, and now he, Tyler, and Melissa had to go chase their dreams in far-off lands.

  They were leaving for college on the same day, just as they had planned. Melissa was standing in her driveway looking out at the lake when David and Tyler’s SUVs pulled into the circular driveway in front of her house. It was a perfect sunny morning with a slight chill in the air. David and Tyler walked over to Melissa so they could all say goodbye to each other one last time. Their parents were kind enough to wait in their vehicles so they could have this special moment.

  They walked to the back edge of the driveway to talk in private. No one wanted to be the first to speak, but Melissa finally relented and decided to be the brave one. “Well, this is it, what we’ve waited our entire lives for. How does it feel?”

  “Not good. Not good at all,” David said as the tears came.

  “I know what you mean. This sucks big time,” Tyler said, looking away as he wiped his eyes. Melissa was trying so hard not to cry. She tried to be optimistic about their new beginnings.

  “Come on guys, this isn’t the end of the world. This whole thing is an adventure of a lifetime. We’re only going to be apart for a few months, then we’ll be back together.”

  “Yeah, I know. You’re right. But everything seems so complicated. I feel like I’m being torn apart.” David said. He looked at Tyler with a sadness that made his heart break. Tyler wanted to say it. He wanted to scream it. He wanted to tell David that he was in love with him, but willed himself with all his might to stay silent. He looked away so David couldn’t see the truth.

  David looked at Melissa totally lost. She hugged him tight. “I’m going to miss you so much. I love you David Emerson.”

  “I love you too. I’m really going to miss you.” They slowly let go of each other. She walked away so David and Tyler could be alone.

  David was openly crying now as he looked at Tyler’s beautiful face. He was trying hard to find the right words to say. He tried to say them but nothing came out. So he grabbed hold of Tyler and hugged him with every ounce of energy he had. “I love you Tyler Reed.”

  “I love you too David Emerson. Please don’t forget me. Please,” he pleaded, holding on to David, not wanting to let go. Melissa and their parents watched with sadness knowing how much they meant to each other. It broke their hearts watching them say goodbye.

  “You better skype with me every night,” David said, wiping his tears.

  Tyler got it together a little. “You know I will. I’ll always be here for you.”

  “I know. And I’ll always be here for you too. Don’t you ever forget that.” David tried to smile. “I can’t wait to hear all about your dorm room, the campus, and how you’re classes are going. I wish I was going to Michigan with you guys.”

  “Yeah, it would’ve been awesome rooming together.” Things got silent for a few seconds as they looked into each other’s eyes. They both wanted to say it, but couldn’t. Tyler felt like he was betraying his best friend with his silence. He finally spoke up. “I want you to do something for me.” David looked at Tyler, trying to remain calm. “Sure, anything for you.”

  “If he ever hurts you, if anyone ever hurts you, please call me right away. I’ll get to New York as fast as I can. Will you promise me that?”

  “I promise.” And with that, they slowly walked to where Melissa was standing and gave each other one last hug and then got into their SUVs and began brand new lives.

  CHAPTER 23

  ON CAMPUS

  Move-in day on the Columbia campus was a madhouse, but David loved every minute of it. His mom, dad, and sister helped him shuttle the Columbia blue moving bin from their SUV to his room at Hartley Residence Hall. They were lucky to get a parking space on 114th Street about half way down the block from his dorm. David brought only the essentials and had them packed as efficiently as possible so he could move in quickly. His dad couldn’t believe the bins were free for only two hours. The University charged students after that. “I can’t believe they would charge money for these things,” he said, sounding disgusted.

  “It’s ok dad. I knew it ahead of time. It’s only going to take us five or six trips. We’ll be done in less than an hour.”

  “I just think it isn’t very wise to start charging parents for an essential service as soon as we get here.”

  “Come on dad, I want to enjoy this with you,” David said. They rolled the first full bin down the sidewalk to the entrance steps. He looked at his dad with pride as they lifted it up the steps and onto the campus sidewalk. David couldn’t help but smile knowing it was really happening.

  He pushed the bin down the red brick walkway towards Hartley Hall. He turned and pushed it towards the entrance. He glanced at John Jay Residence Hall two buildings away knowing the guy he loved would be there soon. The pristine lawns and gardens in front of both buildings made David’s heart pound. He had entered his perfect world.

  A student coordinator stood in the garden area waiting to greet them. He had to sign in and was then ha
nded a packet of information and two entrance cards. One for the lobby door, and one with the entrance code to his room on the seventh floor. They got everything moved in five trips. His mom and sister came with them on the last trip so they could see his room and help organize. David loved the reaction on their faces when they walked up the steps and saw the campus for the first time. He could actually see the magic enter both of them.

  His parents watched with pride knowing their son was in his element. They saw the look on his face, his body language, and confident demeanor. It let them know that he was meant to be there. And that’s when it finally hit them. Their son had grown up and was starting a brand new life. David and his parents put on their bravest faces because they knew. They knew life had changed the game. It all moves forward.

  David loved the energy that filled the entire residence hall. Other sons and daughters and parents were doing the same things, feeling the same emotions as his family. His mind went into scientific overdrive at that point. He thought of each family as an independent universe, each with it’s own unique characteristics and physical properties, yet all bound by spacetime and love and learning to let go. He could feel the gravitational pull of each parent still trying to protect their prized galaxies from rogue galaxies, but realizing it was futile. They would have to be content with watching from afar knowing they did the best they could. That was the heartbreak of time.

  He came out of this thought and smiled knowing he was about to begin living in a human multiverse.

  “What are you smiling about?” His mom asked, with a smile of her own.

  “Oh, nothing in particular. It is just a perfect day and I get to share it with you guys. Thank you for letting me go to college here.”

  “Your dad and I are proud of you. It makes us happy to see you so happy.” They both gave him a hug, keeping their promise not to cry until after they left.

  David went to open another box and noticed Audrey standing in the doorway looking down the hall with dreamy eyes. He grabbed a box by the door and peaked outside.

  He smiled when he saw a cute guy about Audrey’s age helping his brother move in. “Here’s five dollars. You look thirsty. There’s a vending machine right past those two guys at the end of the hall and around the corner.” She gave him a look. “Thanks. I am thirsty.” Audrey started walking toward the cute boy.

  The hardest part of the day for David was having to say goodbye. It was a rite of passage for each new freshman to experience this emotional, sad, exciting Shakespearian scene. He stood on the sidewalk, and the tears came as he watched his mom, dad, and sister drive away.

  David decided to finish unpacking and get organized before Ryan, his roommate, arrived from California. He had received a text from him a few days earlier saying he wouldn’t be on campus until later that afternoon. This gave David some time to put things away and get his space fixed up to his liking. As he did this, his thoughts drifted to Marco. He wanted to see him so bad but knew he would have to wait a little longer. Marco had sent him a text the night before saying that he wasn’t going to be on campus until Sunday evening.

  “I’m sorry I can’t help you move in. My parents made me go with them to visit my uncle in Boston. I’m flying in at six and then heading straight to campus. I miss you and can’t wait to see you.”

  “Please hurry.”

  “I will. I love you.” Marco attached a selfie with a goofy grin.

  David never felt more alive as he sat on his bed, looked around his room, still not quite believing where he was and how he got there. He was officially a college student, at Columbia, and his boyfriend was only one day away. He had finally made it.

  David continued organizing his area while imagining what Marco’s room looked like. They had talked about it earlier in the week and he knew how excited Marco was to see it. “My father arranged to have the moving company move some of my personal things and the new furniture my mother ordered.”

  “Columbia lets you remove their furniture?” David asked.

  “Yeah. They just put it in storage.”

  “That’s cool. I can’t wait to see what your room looks like.”

  “Me too. She wouldn’t tell me anything about it. It’s a big surprise.”

  “I think it’s nice that she wants to surprise you.”

  “Yeah…it’s not like her at all. I hope there are no strings attached.”

  “Be nice. I think she has accepted the whole Columbia thing now, right?”

  “You’re right, she has. And it’s nice to see her doing this for me. My mother does have extraordinary taste, so I know I’m going to like it.”

  David smiled knowing they were going to have many nights together in a beautiful setting.

  The hallways were filled with people talking, laughing, and just plain having a great time as they went from room to room introducing themselves. David was just about to join in this ritual when a group of students knocked on his slightly opened door.

  “Ryyyan and Daaavid, it’s time to come out and play,” he heard a sing-songy voice say as his door opened wide. He turned around and saw a bunch of happy faces staring at him.

  “Hi. I’m David Emerson. Ryan hasn’t arrived yet.” The guy who was singing David’s name gave him a look that said he was instantly in love. “Oh my god, you are just…well, you just are! My name is Jay Holloway.” He shook David’s hand, gave him the biggest smile, and stared. David looked away feeling slightly embarrassment. It was obvious Jay was crushing on him.

  “David Emerson. Your name has a nice ring to it. Where are you from?”

  “Harbor Springs Michigan.”

  “That’s bangin. I’m from London as you can probably tell from my impressive Harry Potter accent.” Jay strategically moved next to David while everyone else squeezed into the room and introduced themselves. Cory Stratton was from Houston. Nikki Herrera was from Brooklyn. Clark Lancaster was from Boston. Justin Lee was from Japan. Amelia Lafleur was last to introduce herself. “Bonjour David, I’m from Paris.”

  “It’s really nice to meet all of you.” David knew this magical day was getting better by the minute. The seeds of friendship were already forming. They spent a few minutes talking about New York City, their dorm rooms, and how great the campus was. David always wanted to have friends from all over the world, and it was finally happening. He decided to join them as they continued going from room to room.

  Everyone had a blast getting to know other people. Jay and Cory were naturals with the friendly banter. They were total extroverts, which helped David and the other quiet ones feel comfortable enough to say hi.

  As they walked up to the eighth floor, David and Jay innocently lagged a dozen steps behind talking away. It was just the two of them for a moment and Jay got right to the point. “Gay, right?”

  “Yes, extremely gay,” David said, with a shy grin.

  “Me too, as you probably guessed.”

  “Gaydar is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

  “Definitely. I hope I’m not being too forward, but are you seeing anyone? You know, do you have a boyfriend?” Before David could answer, Jay added, “I just think you are about the cutest guy I have ever seen.” David totally blushed. “Thank you for saying that,” he said, not knowing if he should return the compliment. He decided to answer the question instead. “Yes, I have a boyfriend. He’s a freshman here too.”

  David could see the disappointment on Jay’s face, even though he tried to hide it. “Hey, I’m happy for you, I really am,” was all he could get out of his pouting mouth.

  “I’d love to be friends with you,” David said, trying to repair the damage.

  Jay’s smile returned slightly. “Me too.”

  Just as they got to the first room on the eighth floor, David said, “By the way, I think you’re cute too.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. We have to find you a boyfriend. After we get settled, that can be our first quest. Deal?”

  “Deal. I think you and I a
re going to become good friends.”

  Other students joined them on their pilgrimage going room to room and floor to floor.

  They finally reached the tenth floor and entered an open lounge area where a bunch of students were hanging out. David couldn’t believe how nice it was. It had leather couches, ornate Persian rugs, computer stations, and a small library with one of those rolling ladders to get to the books high up. He told Jay, “This is going to be the perfect place to hang out and study.”

  “You’re right. I can’t believe this is here.”

  The introductions continued and the mingling became more animated. It was like everyone knew how perfect the day was going and couldn’t believe they were part of it. David was already taking a keen interest in his surroundings. He talked to a few people while listening to several other conversations at the same time. He didn’t want to miss a thing.

  A few minutes later he decided to check out the different areas of the lounge. He walked over to the library and pulled a few books off the shelf to see if anything interested him. He even got on the ladder and rolled himself from shelf to shelf checking more books out. While searching the upper shelves, David’s entire body was hit by the sun’s rays coming through an arched window to his right. He jumped off the ladder and walked over to the window. The view was incredible from that vantage point. He saw people walking in all directions, deep green manicured lawns, quiet gardens, and stately buildings that surrounded the main campus. It was as if he were looking at his dream from the top of his beloved hill.

  But within a few seconds, that euphoria disappeared. David started feeling lonely and homesick. He put his forehead against the window and closed his eyes as his mind wandered back home, and then to Tyler and Melissa. He wondered how they were doing. It had only been thirty six hours, but he already missed them more than he could bear.

 

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