by Rachel Lee
Glenda sagged a little. “Why am I suddenly feeling useless?”
Kylie hugged her again. “You’re not. You saved me. You got me home. You’re not useless at all, sis. I love you. I need you. But I don’t need to be totally useless, either.”
Glenda nodded finally. “Okay, then. Dinner’s cooking. You guys got room for another player?”
*
After Glenda left for work, the house felt terribly silent for a while. Coop apparently didn’t have much to say, but he paced the perimeter of the house from time to time, like a sentry. He paused and listened and then walked some more.
Finally he said to Kylie, “How are you doing? If this waiting doesn’t make you anxious, I’d be surprised.”
“What I’m doing is feeling better.”
He faced her. “Better? How?”
Shame danced across her face. “Since I woke up in the hospital, I haven’t thought about a thing except myself. Today I started thinking about other people again. You. Glenda. I’m so glad I haven’t forgotten how.”
“I don’t think you ever forgot,” he said. “Other matters just overwhelmed you.”
“Maybe. But I was being truly selfish, and that’s not the kind of person I ever want to be. So...” She ventured a smile. “I’m sorry I’m putting you through this, I’m sorry Glenda’s worried and I wish I could do more to help.”
“You don’t need to help me,” he protested. “Like I said, I’m designed for this. Second nature. As for the entire situation...Kylie, you didn’t bring this on yourself. You were attacked. You have no responsibility to any of us except to heal and stay safe.”
Lord, she liked this man. Wherever he’d been, whatever he’d done, he had a heart of gold. His warmth, she realized, had touched her heart. Like a hot fire on an icy day, it was helping thaw her out.
Given the times he’d been in combat and all the hardening it must cause, that made him pretty damn special.
*
Connie called at eight that evening to talk with Kylie. “I don’t know what you remembered,” she said, “but the police report says there was a black rose on your chest when they found you. God, Kylie, what that man did to you. I’m so glad you’re still alive.”
Kylie had some idea of the injuries she had suffered, of course, but didn’t want to discuss them. They didn’t matter right now. Ice coursed through her veins as Connie’s words penetrated. A black rose on her chest. A signature.
A warning.
She nearly dropped the phone back into the cradle and was grateful to feel Coop’s arms wind around her from behind. Tight, they pulled her hard against his chest, feeling like steel bands of protection.
“What?” he demanded.
“There was a black rose on me when the cops found me.”
He swore then, vile words she would never speak herself, but somehow they made her feel a little better, as if his anger was driving back the ice.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I feel frozen,” she said, her lips stiff. “Frozen.”
“God, I can imagine why. Let me call Glenda for you.”
“But...” But what? Glenda would be upset, but she’d be even more upset if she broke her promise again. And Coop had promised, too.
But the darkness was swimming close, the demons seemed to be emerging from hiding, laughing in glee as shock and terror warred inside her. A black rose. There could be no doubt now.
She sank onto the couch and put her head between her knees while Coop called Glenda. The worst of all possible nightmares had happened.
The killer had found her and, what was worse, he clearly wasn’t finished with her.
*
Todd never really left town. He drove away toward Saint Louis, but returned that night, concealing his car in the old barn he rarely used. Having a few lights on at night was something that he always did when he was away, so unless he made himself visible in some way or changed something, everyone would assume he was gone.
But he wasn’t. The only thing that maddened him was that he’d never know the reaction to the black rose. From a distance he gathered that the cops were still busy worrying about the kids, but he had no idea if they were paying additional attention to Kylie.
Not that he really cared. He had time, and he enjoyed thinking of her fright dragging out day after day. He had no doubt that she’d learn soon he’d left a black rose with her after he was done in Denver. They’d figure that one out, and they’d tell her.
But they were stretched so thin watching the children that he figured they wouldn’t have much left over for her. Which left Cooper. What a bad time for that guy to be hanging around Glenda’s house.
He knew plenty of people, though, and it was easy enough to pretend to be calling from Saint Louis when he phoned a friend or two. They were only too eager to update him on the latest stranger contact with a child, and to tell him the cops were all over it. As for Kylie...well, no one knew a thing about that situation. He wondered if a call to one of her friends might seem out of line.
Or if he could call Kylie himself to see how she was doing.
He wanted to savor her terror, and it killed him that he couldn’t be close enough to taste it and watch it. But he was also smart and realistic. The time would come when he’d get her alone again, and then he was going to finish the job.
God, he had finally come to hate that woman and to hate himself for pursuing her. She’d treated him like crap in high school, and it hadn’t improved much over the years. So pretty, so sweet, liked by nearly everyone. Only he could see how ugly she really was inside, where it counted. Only he knew how little she cared for the feelings of others.
But he knew it intimately. I just don’t feel like we’re connecting, Todd. I’m sorry. Why not? No answer to that question. She just didn’t want to date him. Then she’d turned him down for the prom and stayed home rather than go with him. Selfish bitch.
Oh, when he ran into her in Denver, just once despite what he’d said to confuse the issue, she’d agreed to have coffee with him, but he could feel her reluctance. Well, there was nothing wrong with him, so there had to be something wrong with her. And he was so tired of her snubs, of her barely concealed dislike of him. She could smile so sweetly, then stab him in the back.
That coffee meeting in Denver had been the last straw. He’d asked her to take in a movie with him—how much more innocent could you get?—but she’d turned him down. Too much work, she said. Too much work to spare a couple of hours? He wasn’t buying it, especially since he’d started following her and discovered she had time to go out occasionally with her friends.
No, it was him she objected to, and for no good reason. He’d had enough. Her rejections had stung for years, and then she’d added another one.
Now here she was, almost in his grasp again, and all he had to do was separate her from her watchdogs long enough to take her away with him. He now knew he wasn’t going to get over what she’d done to him until she never drew another breath.
It was the only way to erase the slate.
*
Eventually Coop settled on the couch. The night had deepened, and whatever had made him so edgy seemed to have let go. That made Kylie feel better. She wondered how many of his ghosts and bad memories this situation was reawakening, but she wasn’t sure she should ask.
He tucked her against him, as if it were the way he expected them to sit, and she didn’t object at all. Everything about him appealed to her. Everything. His scent, his strength, his appearance, but mostly his good, brave heart. A lot of men would have wanted no part of her in her damaged state, and even fewer considering the trouble she brought with her. At every single turn he had treated her with kindness and patience.
“You’re a good man, Coop.”
“Sometimes.”
She wanted to argue with him about that, but figured she couldn’t. He had memories he’d never share with her, memories that clearly troubled him. She just hoped that someday he would onc
e again believe that he was a good man. Because he was.
He ran his palm lightly up and down her arm, from shoulder to elbow. Tingles of pleasure began to run through her, warming cold and hollow places inside her. Because of her amnesia, she didn’t know how long it had been for her, but she knew how desperately she needed this feeling now. Good, normal feelings. Nice feelings. As naturally as breathing, she turned into him and smiled up at him. “I like that.”
His gaze jumped to her upturned face, then a slow smile was born. “Dangerous words, lady. And a dangerous time to have them.”
But despite his warning, he bent his head a bit so he could brush a kiss on her lips. Sparklers ignited inside her. Just that light, soft touch, and she was sizzling.
“Wrong time,” he murmured.
“Is there ever a right one?”
“Actually, yeah. Trust me, when you’re waiting for the enemy, you don’t want to be distracted the way you’d distract me.”
Her heart sank, but she knew he was right. It was nice to know, however, that he was responding to her. Now she not only had something on which to focus her anxiety, but she had something truly pleasurable to think about. Coop. She imagined that if she let him, he’d fill her whole world, at least for a while.
He dropped another kiss on her lips, caressing her cheek lightly with his thumb, then hugged her a little closer. “Now behave yourself. Never let it be said that a marine was caught with his drawers down.”
A little giggle escaped her, leavening her heart again, filling the house with a much-needed happy sound.
“Does anyone call you Evan?” she asked.
“Not much anymore. Coop to friends, or Gunny. I’m not sure I’d answer if anyone called for Evan.”
“I’ve never been anything but Kylie. Well, except for a few people in Denver who called me Nurse Brewer. But mostly it’s Kylie, or Nurse Kylie. We’re very casual at the hospital here in town. The docs go by first name even with the patients. Dr. Ted, Dr. Joe, that kind of thing.”
“It’s certainly friendlier.”
“Evidently we think so here.” And that finished that topic. Funny how hard it had become for her to make casual conversation since she lost her memory. Losing three years shouldn’t have meant losing every ordinary skill she had.
But maybe other things had gone wrong with her, and she was going to discover them one by one. Like her occasional tendency to blurt things she once wouldn’t have said. God, what a depressing thought.
She dragged herself away from that mire. It was likely to suck her in without offering a single answer. Some matters were just going to have to await the experience of time.
Easier said than done, of course, but Coop’s continuing hug, and the gentle stroking of his hand, helped. Soon she was able to let go of her fears and sink back into the present moment. There was no escaping the fact that the future would come, but it didn’t do a lick of good to worry about things she didn’t know yet.
There was something much more immediate on her horizon, and she didn’t want to think about that, either.
“What I need,” she said, “is someone to read me a story. I’m like a kid who can’t settle for the night.”
A quiet sound of amusement escaped him. “I know that feeling. Let me think a moment. Maybe I can find a story to share.”
She hoped he would because it would be nice to learn something more about him. He was fairly closemouthed about himself, probably with good reason, but surely during all those years in the marines he’d had experiences he could share.
“Well, there was the time we were in formation with fixed bayonets, and the idiot behind me sliced my scalp pretty good.”
“Oh, no! What happened?”
“I stayed in formation and finished my evolutions with blood pouring down the back of my uniform.”
“They didn’t pull you out?”
“Why would they? If I couldn’t handle that, I couldn’t handle the rest of what was in store. Anyway, ten staples fixed me up, and the idiot did a lot of punishment detail. I was fine.”
She couldn’t imagine it. “If I’d been there, I would have stopped everything.”
“Of course. You’re a nurse. Big difference.”
Obviously. She sighed and let her head once again return to the comfort of his shoulder. “That’s just amazing to me.”
“Well, not everything that happened involved bleeding. It was just the first memory that popped to mind.”
After his own personal self-censorship, she surmised, but didn’t say so.
“Then there’s the ghost story.”
“Ghost story? For real?”
His hand squeezed her arm gently. “For real. A lot of them come out of war zones, believe it or not. People can get really skittish, even experienced veterans, when they’re stationed in a place where there’s been a fight and people have died. Hell, to be fair, I can get uneasy myself. It’s like something stains the ground or the air. I don’t know a better way to describe it.”
She nodded slowly. “I guess I can see that. Why wouldn’t some awful tragedy leave a mark behind, a mark that might reach through time?”
“Maybe so. I could never explain it. Just a feeling I did my best to ignore. Anyway, a squad was stationed at one forward base, maybe ten of them. They weren’t the first ones to occupy it, but apparently it had a history stretching back to Alexander the Great. One fort built on top of another, creating kind of a huge hill. The second night they were there, they had a guy up on the roof as a sentry. He got so scared up there he came running down and demanded that someone stand watch with him. So one of the other guys agreed to go up with him.”
She waited while he paused, watched him shake his head a little. “Then there were more shook-up marines. They swore a black figure was standing watch with them. After that, they always put two men on watch up there. One guy refused completely and nutted out enough that they thought it best to send him back to the main base. He said he heard a voice whisper in his ear. I guess a number of them saw strange lights in the nightscopes that they couldn’t see with the naked eye, or heard screams. Anyway, the black figure may have been too much for that one guy.”
“Wow. A black figure?”
“That’s how they described it. Anyway, I’m not sure how much the story got embellished over time, but I’ve had some feelings myself from time to time, so I won’t dismiss them.”
She shivered a little as she thought about it.
“I’m sorry, did I frighten you with that?”
“No...no. I was just thinking about the black figure. He, it, was standing watch, too. It doesn’t matter if he was one of ours or someone else’s. Russian, Afghani, Roman...what disturbs me is thinking that he’s dead and stuck there doing his duty.”
“Still standing post,” he murmured. “You’re right, that is sad.”
“Were there other stories?”
“Ghosts, you mean? A few. It didn’t happen to everyone and didn’t happen everywhere. But every so often I’d hear about another one.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if battlefields were haunted.”
“Frankly, neither would I.”
She said nothing more, trying to give him space to back out of his war experiences if that was what he wanted to do. Some things deserved the respect of silence.
“Anyway,” he said presently, moving them away from Afghanistan, “when I was younger my dad used to like to take trips to Civil War battlefields. Everyone swears Gettysburg is haunted, but I didn’t feel it. To me it feels incredibly peaceful there. But Antietam was a different story. That was the first time I ever felt like the ground was crying out. I shook it off, but I still remember the way I felt at first. As if the very earth had been scarred.”
“Oh, man,” she whispered.
“And I don’t suppose you were looking for ghost stories to help you sleep.”
She managed to tip her head and give him a faint smile. “I needed a distraction. I got it.”
; “I need to think of something more cheerful to tell you about.”
A thought occurred to her. “Do you have that dress blue uniform? Does everyone?”
“We only get them if we need them for an assignment unless we buy them ourselves. But yeah, I had an assignment once that required it when I was in DC, and yes, I have the uniform.”
“I’d love to see you in it.”
“Everyone loves those uniforms,” he said lightly. Then he shifted a little and pulled out his wallet from his hip pocket. Flipping it open with one hand, he passed it to her so she could see the photo of him in dress blues.
“You can tell I’m not so young anymore.”
“You look fantastic,” she said sincerely. “And you don’t look that much older, either. What were you doing?”
“I was selected for the unit that does the Friday night parade at the barracks in DC. And that ramrod straightness owes a lot to duct tape.”
“What?” The word came out on a laugh.
“Seriously. When you need to be perfectly straight and still for hours on end, you apply a little help. Duct tape to the torso.”
“I never would have guessed.”
“Good.” He laughed. “Inside secret. The human back doesn’t take kindly to that treatment for long.”
She giggled. “I’m glad you told me. I used to think it was superhuman.”
“Nothing superhuman about it.”
Suddenly he grew still. “Shh.” He waited a moment, then leaned toward her. “I think I heard something. Stay here.”
Her chest tightened instantly and her heart began to race until she felt she couldn’t suck in enough air. Probably nothing, she told herself. Probably nothing at all. She was safe here with Coop.
Then why didn’t she believe it?
*
Todd drove one of his old cars to town and parked it a couple of blocks away from the Brewer house. Standing on the sidewalk, he could see through the sheers that covered the front window. Those two were looking entirely too cozy, he thought. Kylie had never let him put his arm around her like that. Never.
But this guy she hardly knew? It must be the marine thing. She was being sucked in by a freaking uniform.