“We could meet at our place.” Maggie turned to make sure Norma agreed.
“Oh, that would be lovely. Lily, make sure you get our address before we leave today. And, if you tell me what your favorite snack is, I’ll be sure to have it waiting for you.” Norma’s smile pushed up her glasses.
“Thanks, ladies, that was the one piece keeping me from taking time off… I didn’t want to go without our meetings, but I knew if I got in the building, I wouldn’t be able to leave without getting pulled into something.”
“Tim must be exhausted.” Norma shook her head. “I don’t envy him.”
“Yeah, it has taken a toll on him. He said he’s never seen anything like this before. He’s being so professional, too… I can’t get him to spill any information.” I laughed. “I can’t even get him to talk in his sleep to me.”
Norma gave me a smile. “I’m sure it’s for the best, dear. You wouldn’t want that in your head. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”
“Yeah, I know… I just get curious. I want to know who it could be. And why.”
“It does make you wonder, doesn’t it?” Norma nodded her head as her eyes went to the clock on the wall. “Oh, heavens, look at the time. I’ve got to get to my appointment.”
The rest of us followed. Not knowing all the details behind the murders, and not being able to share the things I did know with the ladies made talking about it difficult. I knew it was a lot to process, even for people without a trauma history. But for us, people with trust issues, it made existing in the world that much harder. I hoped for answers, but not before a few more predators met their fate.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I’d forgotten my nanny cam in the conference room after our group, I didn’t realize this until I was ready to visit my gram. I logged onto the app to see if I could replay some of the events from our meeting to make sure it was something I would be able to use at Gram’s.
I clicked on the recorded footage and rewound it to the beginning and watched until I saw Lily join me in the room. The picture quality was clear enough to make out who we were, and with the volume up as high as I could get it, I was able to hear our conversation. I muted the phone and watched as the others arrived. It didn’t appear anyone knew they were being recorded. No one mentioned it while we were together, and I didn’t see anyone make eye contact with the camera. I guess I could call that a success.
Before I left for the day yesterday, I told Jeanine I wouldn’t be back for a few weeks, taking her up on the offer to use some of my vacation time. She didn’t fight me on it, and I didn’t tell her I’d still be running the group. That wasn’t something she needed to know, but it was something I needed to do.
I swung by the hospital before I left for my visit. Now with the camera and folder full of my wedding wishes, nothing was stopping me from spending time with Gram. It was a Wednesday morning, so it was doubtful Mom would be there. The idea I would know when she was there from now on brought a sinister smile to my face. It was time I was in control of things. I wanted to know what she was up to, but I also wanted to know when the coast was clear.
When I arrived at the senior living complex, I noticed the apple blossoms covering the trees lining the walkway. The sweet aroma was enough to take me back to my childhood. Memories of sitting under the apple tree at Gram’s house as I read my newest library book filled my mind. I closed my eyes to savor the memory. What I wouldn’t give to go back, just one more day to a simpler time, where the only care I held was whether I’d finish the next chapter before Gram yelled for me to come have lunch. So much had changed since then. I hadn’t been that girl in decades.
At the door, I knocked before opening it to find Gram napping in her recliner. “Rise and shine sleepyhead.”
“Oh, what a lovely surprise.” She took my hand into hers as she looked up at me.
“I brought wedding stuff.” I held up the folder and waved it in the air. When I sat on the couch, I looked around the living room to find the best location for the camera. It was hidden in an alarm clock, so it was easy to plug in without too much concern. “I brought you this new clock, too.” I pulled it out of my bag. “I think it’ll look good right here.” I plugged it in as it rested on the third shelf on her bookcase.
“Well, that will help me know what time it is.” She laughed. “Thank you, Val. That’s sweet of you.”
Once back on the couch, I pulled out my phone. “Just a second, Gram, I need to send Tim a message to let him know I made it safe.” I opened the app and saw the camera was pointed at Gram, with most of the living room included in the view. Satisfied with the setup, I tucked my phone away. “So, we picked a date… July 15th.”
“Oh, that’s right around the corner.”
“Yeah, we’ll probably regret not having a lot of time to plan, but we just wanted to make it official.” I smiled, not wanting her to know we were rushing the date to make sure she would be present.
“You found a good one, Val. He’s a sweetheart.”
“I did get lucky with him. I guess that’s what happens when you wait as long as I did to find someone.”
We spent the morning going through the pages the ladies and I ripped out of the magazines together days before. We went to her closet and found a pretty purple flowered dress for her to wear, with a matching cardigan. Being with her made me feel like a little girl again. For the few moments we were together; everything was just as it should be. As she made her way back to the living room, pushing a walker to keep her balance, the essence of time slapped me in the face.
The clock was ticking. Hers and mine. “Gram, I’ve got to tell you something.” It was now or never. I had to come clean.
“What is it, dear?” She sat back against her recliner as she listened.
“Well… I didn’t want to keep this from you, but I didn’t know how to tell you.” Guilt and anger were at war with each other inside my chest. I pushed the tears out of my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.
“It’s okay, Valerie. You can tell me.”
“I have a…” I inhaled deeply as I searched for the word. “A… son.”
“Oh?” She tilted her head. “Well, that’s lovely.”
“Except, it’s not. Well, it wasn’t. It is now… but it wasn’t lovely. It was awful.” I felt my blood boil in my veins as I remembered him being ripped from my arms. “Mom made me give him up for adoption.”
“Oh, Valerie.” Her hand covered her mouth. “That’s why you ran off, isn’t it?” She let out a deep sigh. “Your mother is a… real bitch.”
I’d never heard her call Mom that before. “She really is.” I knew I couldn’t tell her the rest, it wasn’t something she needed to be kept awake at night with. “But… I found him.” The words alone were enough to cover my face with a smile. “You’ll get to meet him at the wedding.”
Her smile matched mine as a teardrop slid down her cheek. “Oh, that’s wonderful, Valerie.”
“He’s twenty years old now and seems like a sweet young man. He has the best adoptive parents I could have asked for. They’ll be at the wedding, too.”
Goosebumps covered my limbs. “Having you and he join us is all I could ever ask for.”
Gram tilted her head to the side. “You’re how old now? Thirty-five? You would have been…”
Shame heated my checks. “I was fifteen.” My eyes dropped. “But, it’s not what you think… it wasn’t…”
“It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is you can have him in your life. We all make mistakes, but they don’t define us.” She gave me a sympathetic smile.
I know she was trying to make me feel better, but I disagreed. Some mistakes do define us. Like Chad. His mistakes, or actually, his actions did define him. They made him a lowlife child molesting creep. Just like Donald Brice, and Jane, and Seth, and Jimmy, and all the other perpetrators roaming the streets. Their actions most certainly defined them. It was their actions alone that ended their lives.
An eye
for an eye? Hardly. The life taken from them would never repay what they stole from their victims. It was just a drop in the bucket. I could only hope they would be paying for their sins long after their death.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The serial killer had taken a few weeks off, allowing Tim to get some much-needed rest, and to enable us to move into our new home. Tim carried the last box of my stuff through the door of the tan ranch-style house we were renting. On a quiet road, ten minutes from town, we would be away from the commotion, but still close enough to run out and grab a gallon of milk.
The large bay window overlooked the giant oak tree that took up much of the front yard, with a single tire swing hanging on one of the thick branches. A black mailbox sat ready to hold our mail as soon as the change address forms took effect. The paved driveway had a basketball hoop near the garage, and I couldn’t help imagine the children who had enjoyed it before we moved in.
This was the perfect starter home for a new family. Peaceful and practical, with all of the essentials. The fairy tale ending I had never dared reach for had fallen into my lap. With the beige curtain brushing my face, I took a step back and looked around at the work we had ahead of us. “Who thought it would be a good idea to host a dinner party tomorrow?”
Tim set the box down and kissed the top of my head. “You did.” He laughed. “Don’t worry, we can pull it off. Everything should be ready by…” He put his index finger to his chin. “Morning… as long as we don’t sleep.”
“Ugh.” I blew the strand of hair out of my face that had fallen out of my ponytail. “We should cancel it… postpone it, at least.”
“Relax, Val. We’ll get it done.”
“How can you be sure?” I bent down to open the box by my feet.
“Because when you set your mind to something, it happens… that’s how. Besides, they know we just moved in, they’re not going to expect everything to be unpacked.”
“Can we do rent-to-own? I never want to move again.” I wiped the sweat off my forehead with my sleeve.
“Well … there’s not enough bedrooms for that ball team…”
“Exactly.” I walked over to him and planted a kiss on his lips. “One step at a time, Mr. Philips.”
“Hey, I was just pointing out the obvious.” His smirk was enough to light my fire. The quicker we got to work, the sooner we could try out our new bedroom.
Since this was the first house for both of us, we didn’t have a lot of extra stuff. We had already taken all of our duplicates to the Good Will, so the job ahead was doable. The only motivation I needed to get the job done was knowing my son and his family would be visiting in just a few short hours.
I plugged Tim’s phone into the speaker for some music to work by. I still hadn’t gotten into the habit of downloading music, I was more a CD kind of girl. With his music app opened, I hit shuffle and went to work. A twangy voice I had heard before started blasting from the speakers. “Whoa… is there something I should know?” I tilted my head and giggled.
“Oh, shit… I forgot that was on there.” He unplugged his phone and tapped the screen a few times before setting it back up. “There, that should be better.”
Tom Petty started singing. “Wait… why are you listening to Goodbye Earl? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good song… but it doesn’t seem like your style.”
His face changed from pink to red. “It’s… ah… for work.”
“You listen to the Dixie Chicks for work?” I couldn’t hold the laughter back.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. Just listen to Tom and get into your groove.”
“That’s all I get? I need to know more.”
He shook his head and left the living room with a box in hand. I couldn’t imagine why he would be listening to music for work… and why the Dixie Chicks? I walked over to his phone and opened the music app to see Tim had downloaded the entire Fly album. Scrolling deeper into his music library, I also noticed it was the only country music. It still didn’t make much sense, but I knew he wouldn’t be offering up any information. He’d been pretty tightlipped since the FBI started helping.
After hours of unpacking, the last box was emptied by 11:45pm. I held it upside down. “Oh my god, we did it!”
“See, I told you.” Tim reached his arms above his head and stretched. “Now, let’s take a shower and get some sleep.”
“Can you believe we’re getting married in less than a month?” I looked around the house and saw our belongings commingling and saw Gabriel napping on the couch. “And my son will be here tomorrow? Meeting my cat, his namesake.” It was the first time it seemed strange to me as I watched Gabriel’s black fur rise and fall as he slept. “He’s going to think it’s weird… isn’t he? I mean… it is. Right?”
“Relax, Val.” He pulled his t-shirt off over his head. “It’s not weird. I think it’s sweet.”
“You’re just saying that so you can get me naked.”
“Maybe.” He shot me a smile. “But, really, it is sweet. It’s not weird. And, how did you know they didn’t change his name? If they had given him a new name, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. We’d already be letting the hot water melt our stress away in there.” He nodded his head in the direction of the bathroom.
He was right. I was grateful they kept his name, and even more thankful they raised him, letting him know how much he was loved. So what if my cat and son shared a name. It’s not like they’d get confused when I called them to dinner. One would be at his food dish, and the other would be at the table.
After a refreshing night of sleep and a day filled with grocery shopping and cooking, we were only minutes away from Gabriel, Beth and Paul arriving. It was a two-hour drive for them, but they insisted they wanted to see where we lived. With the new house, it was the perfect opportunity to have one more meeting before the wedding.
The silver Nissan Pathfinder pulled into the driveway, with the directional signal flashing as Paul put it in park. Gabriel exited the left backdoor and stretched his arms over his head, exposing the band of his boxers and belly when his black t-shirt slid up. I couldn’t push back the smile when I imagined him as a little boy. “Hey, Gabriel. Long ride? Huh?” The high pitch in my voice made me blush as I realized he wasn’t the child I was addressing.
He flashed me a smile. “Yeah, it wasn’t too bad.”
“Don’t let him fool you, he slept the whole time.” Beth joined us in the driveway as Paul opened his door and took his keys out of the ignition. “Rides have always put him to sleep.” Beth “Geez, mom.” Gabriel ducked down to escape her grooming. “I’m a grown man.”
The reality of his words stung me as much as Beth. “But you’ll always be my baby.” Beth smoothed out her skirt. “Our baby.” She smiled as she handed me an enormous wicker gift basket.
“Wow, thank you.” My eyes dropped to the bottle of champagne and crystal flutes. “You really shouldn’t have.”
“Oh, nonsense. It’s a housewarming gift.” She pulled a thumb drive out of her purse. “This is the real gift.” She held my hand at the exchange. “I went through Gabe’s baby photos and some of our home videos. We went digital a few years ago… you know, downsizing… so I didn’t have any ready to bring, but I thought you could print the ones you wanted.”
I couldn’t find the words to express the amount of gratitude my heart held. Tears fell onto my sandals, hitting the skin on the top of my exposed feet.
“I knew you’d love them.” Beth took the basket and handed it to Paul and wrapped me into a hug. “He’s our boy. He always has been.”
“Hi, guys.” Tim raised the long tongs he had been using at the barbecue. “Do you want to come see the new Webber grill we just got? We’re christening it today.”
Paul didn’t hesitate to take him up on the offer, and Gabe wasn’t too far behind, leaving us mothers to talk about all the important things, like first words, first steps, and favorite stuffed animals. Beth and I walked aroun
d the yard, stopping at the lilac bush in full bloom. I closed my eyes as I let the sun hit my face as I inhaled the fresh, sweet smell of the purple blossoms.
“You never had any more children?” Beth’s question took me out of my moment of bliss.
“No.” My eyes fell to my feet. “I didn’t want to have any more when I had already had a son out in the world. I didn’t want him to think I replaced him, or be upset I gave him away, but kept the others.” I shook my head. “It probably doesn’t make sense.”
“No, of course it does.” She gave me a heartfelt smile. “But you shouldn’t feel that way. Being a mom is such a gift. One I am thankful for every day.”
“Having Gabriel wasn’t under the best circumstances. I always felt… I don’t know… guilty.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t feel that way. What you did was a gesture of love. One, I don’t think I would ever have been strong enough to do.”
“The thing is… I didn’t have a choice. I always felt if I had been stronger, I could have fought to keep him. I had this fantasy I could have run away with him, and we would have lived happily ever after.”
“Did his father know? Were you going to start a family with him?”
“No… well, he knew, but it’s complicated.” I closed my eyes and shook out the memories as I contemplated telling Beth the truth. I wasn’t sure I wanted Gabriel to know how he was conceived. I didn’t want him to think I resented him. I only wanted him to know the love I held for him.
“I think you and Tim would make wonderful parents, and Gabe could finally be a big brother. When he was little, he used to beg us for a sibling. It broke my heart because I knew I’d never be able to grant him that wish.” She smiled. “But you can.”
“He already is.” I pointed to the black face pressed against the glass. “That’s my cat, who has been my only constant in my life.” I walked over to tap on the glass. “And, you’ll never guess his name.”
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