Norma swatted her hand away. "Look at this one, she can't keep her hands off of it."
"So, we thought it would be fun to go around the room and tell you something we love about you. A way to remind you that you deserve all the love and happiness life has to offer you. So, how it works is, one of us will write it down in this book." Maggie held up a brown leather journal. "And write down what the other person is saying. That way, when things get hard, or you're having a bad day, you can go to this book and have a reminder of how much you are loved and how important you are to all of us."
"Not to be a buzz kill… but why don't we just record it? That way, instead of just reading it, she can watch it?" Sonya shrugged her shoulders as she pulled out her phone.
"That's not a bad idea, but I still want someone to write it in here, too."
"I want to start." Lily sat on the couch and cleared her throat. "Well, I know I don't know you as well as the others, but you've been a good friend. From the first time I met you at the hospital, you treated me with respect, and you actually listened to me. After so many years of never being heard, you heard me, and you didn't break my trust. It would have been so easy for you to tell my mom what had happened, but you respected my wishes. I don't know anyone else who would have done that.
"You also made me feel welcome, even when I tried to fight you on it. No matter how hard I pushed you away, you never stopped showing up. You helped me see I am worth my dreams. And, watching your love story unfold has given me hope that there are good guys out there."
"That's so nice, Lily. I'm so glad you joined our little group." I placed my hand over my heart.
Maggie handed the notebook to Lily. "Okay, I want to go." She rubbed her hands on the front of her shorts. "When I walked into that conference room, I didn't trust anyone. I was scared, and I didn't think I would ever be able to trust any of you. But you made it feel safe. You made Sonya behave." She gave Sonya a quick smile. "And, you made sure I had time to talk. You helped me see I am a good mom and that I didn't screw my girls up. You don't know how good it felt to hear you say that and be able to believe you. If it wasn't for you, Norma and I never would have met, and my girls and I would be lost souls out in the world. Not only are you a great friend, but you help nurture our friendships, too. When you dropped everything to come help me with Lexi… after everything with Seth, I knew you truly cared… when you tell us you'll be there for us, you actually mean it. You are a one in a million kind of person. I hope the rest of your life treats you as good as you deserve." Maggie wiped the tears out of the corners of her eyes and offered to take her job as scribe back.
I put my hand to my heart and gave Maggie a smile. "Thank you, Maggie, I hope the same for you and your girls."
"Guess it's my turn." Sonya uncrossed her legs to get comfortable. "I don't know where to start. You do such a great job of making everyone else comfortable. Even when you shush me, or remind me I need to be… polite… you do it in a place of respect. Just because you have a degree, you never once made me feel like you're superior to me, or any of us. I think it's super cool you were open with us about your past and you trusted us enough to hear all of the details. I don't know what I would have done without you with the whole thing with Jimmy. I know I can be hard to take sometimes, but you never made me feel unwanted or unwelcome. I feel like I could tell you anything, and you'd understand. I hope we can stay friends forever." She winked and rubbed her belly.
"Ah, Sonya, you're not hard to take. Don't be hard on yourself. You're a good person. Don't ever feel bad for being yourself. That’s what I love about you.” I returned the wink and smiled.
"Okay, okay… enough about me… this is about you. Looks like we saved the best for last." Sonya nudged Norma.
"Oh, dear. I don't know where to start. It's been an absolute blessing having you in my life. That first day, I knew right away you were going to be someone I could trust. You make it easy to feel comfortable, even in the most uncomfortable situations. You have a gift of bringing people together. We're all proof of that. Not only do I think of you as my good friend, I think of you as a daughter." Norma smiled and looked around the room. "I think that about all of you. I'm so blessed to have four beautiful, talented women in my life. Being an old lady, I didn't think I'd find such a strong connection again. I wish nothing but happiness and love for you for the rest of your days. I love you. I love all of you."
"I love you, too, Norma. I love all of you. I'm the lucky one. You girls changed my life. I never thought I'd have friends again, or that I'd let anyone in again… but look at me now. I have you four, Tim, Gabe, and even my gram. My life is complete now, and I owe it to you all. You helped me see I'm not alone, and that good can come from evil."
"Geez, I don't think I can take much more." Sonya walked over to the pile of gifts and handed me a small pink gift bag with tufts of sparkly white tissue peeking out of the top. "Here, open this one."
I pulled out the tissue paper, and a white negligée fell on to my lap. "Oh, my." I held it up as Sonya snapped a picture.
"There's more." She giggled behind the camera.
When I reached in the bag I pulled out the tiny white string. "What is it?"
"Oh, don't act all innocent. Not like you've never seen a G-string before. I wanted to make sure you had something sexy on for your first time as husband and wife."
"Wow, Sonya, great way to turn our feel-good session into something sleazy." Maggie crossed her arms and pressed her back into the couch.
"Are you being serious?" Sonya lifted her eyes.
"Why don't you give her the white bag." Maggie pointed to the other gift bag on the coffee table.
Sonya handed me the gift. The bag was not as elegantly put together but still looked better than something I could have thrown together. I pulled out the tissue paper, and an even skimpier piece of lingerie came out with it. I turned to look at Maggie. "Ahh… am I missing something?"
Maggie relaxed her body. "No, I figured you didn't need to have underwear."
"Oh, I see what you did there." Sonya nodded her head and pointed to the side of her head. "Great minds."
"Oh, my goodness. You ladies have your mind in the gutter." Norma walked over and picked up a small white box, wrapped in a pink bow, and handed it to me.
I unwrapped the box as Norma watched me. Inside was a teacup, one from the set she always served us tea in. I held the cup and cradled it in my hands. "Oh, Norma, it's perfect."
"I wanted to make sure we could always have tea together, even when we're apart. If you're ever having a bad day and need a little love, just pour yourself a cup of tea, and we can have a drink together."
"Aww, this is probably the sweetest gift I have ever received. But, I don't want to think about not being able to stop over to share a cup with you. You better not be going anywhere."
"Well, you never know what can happen. I just wanted to make sure you were prepared in case. That's all."
"You already saw my gift. Plus, I'm going to make cupcakes to bring to the wedding."
"Thank you, Lily, I can't wait to taste it. It's perfect, everything is. I don't even know what to say. You ladies really know how to make me feel special." I wiped the tears off my cheeks.
We enjoyed the delicious cake and shared silly stories as we let the rest of the day fade around us. I couldn't wait to share the gifts with Tim. It was only a few short days away.
Chapter Thirty
When I arrived at Gram's, she was waiting for me with her purse in her lap. "Oh, Gram, you look beautiful."
"Ah, this?" She used the arms of her chair to push herself up. "I'm so excited the day is finally here." She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.
"Me, too. Maybe now I can stop worrying." I gave her my arm to help steady her as we walked out. "Are you sure it's okay I take you?"
"I'm a grown woman, I don't have to report to anyone." She flipped off the TV and stopped by the door. "Oh, wait, would you be able to bring this to the post o
ffice for me? The pharmacy sent me someone else's medications."
"Sure." I picked up the small box. "I don't think they can even take it back once it's left the building."
"Ah, let them deal with that."
"We're on a tight schedule today. We have to get to the Bed and Breakfast so we can meet the other ladies and get our hair done. I booked a spot for you, too."
She ruffled her hair. "Is there something wrong with my curls?"
"No, I just wanted to include you… since you're my maid of honor."
"I'm just teasing." She smiled and continued to look out the window. "It's been ages since I've gotten out of the house, it’ll be a real treat."
"Gram? Did you hear what I said?"
"Huh?" She turned to look at me.
"I said since you're my maid of honor." I gave her a quick glance and focused my attention back on the road.
"Oh, my. I guess I missed that. You want me? I'm an old lady… I can barely walk."
"I do. I couldn't think of anyone better to have by my side." I reached over and held out my hand for her to take. "We have a chair set up for you, so you can rest if you need to. Don't worry about anything. I just want you there with me."
"Oh, Valerie, you always were a sweet girl."
When we arrived at the Bed and Breakfast, the grounds were decorated and ready for the ceremony. I pulled my car in front of the double doors where Maggie and Norma were waiting to help Gram into the dressing room. After I parked my car, I looked at the clock and felt nausea creep in as I did the mental countdown in my head. In just three hours, I would be Mrs. Timothy Phillips. I closed my eyes and tried to channel as much calm as I could find. Today was going to be a good day, I wasn't going to let my self-doubt ruin it.
Sonya was out on the lawn waving for me to hurry up. "Come on, you're going to be late for your own wedding. Get your pretty little ass in here." She gave my butt a slap as I walked by. "You're going to do great, don't you worry."
"How'd you know I was worried?"
"Val, you're going to need a ton of makeup to get some color back on your face. Just relax. Today is your day. Don't let anything take that away from you."
Gram was already getting her hair done when I walked into the dressing room. Norma was sharing a cup of tea with her. "I knew you two would get along."
"We were just sharing stories about our sweet Valerie." Norma stood up to give me a hug. "Only a few more hours as Miss Williamson." She brushed the hair out of my face. "You deserve this… all of this."
My body trembled as I paced the room. "I think I'm going to be sick. I never thought about it as my last day as… me."
"Oh, stop that. You'll still be you. You're just adding a loving, caring, devoted husband. You can be Mrs. Valerie Williamson-Phillips if you want."
"That's awfully close to Wilson Philips. I don't know how I feel about that." I reached for my necklace, only to remember I had taken it off.
"What, you don't want to hold on?" Maggie giggled.
"I see what you did there." Her joke eased some of my nerves. "Okay, I can do this." I rolled my shoulders and shook my hands at my sides.
Lily and Maggie were next to get their hair and makeup done. I slipped out of the room before it was my turn. I asked Gabe to meet me in the gazebo before he started getting ready with the other guys. He was standing with his back to me, admiring the view. The sight of the boy I ached for, all those years, filled my heart. He was a true gift from an unthinkable situation. He was what made me believe there was good in the world.
"It's a beautiful place, isn't it?" I walked through the entrance to stand next to him.
"Yeah, you guys picked a perfect day. This place is amazing."
"We did get lucky with the weather. I'm so thankful you're here. And even more grateful you'll be standing next to Tim. My two favorite guys." I pulled the envelope out of the pocket of my sweatshirt and handed it to him. "I want you to have this."
After he opened it and started to read, the tears hit the paper. He held the half of my necklace in the palm of his hand and squeezed it. "I don't know what to say."
"I wanted you to have the full heart. I don't need my half anymore, because I have you. I wore it every day since the day they took you from me, but I don't need it any longer. Having you in my life completes me and makes my broken heart whole. Now, you can have my whole heart."
He pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. "You know, I always knew you loved me. My mom told me I was loved. I just didn't understand how much." He stepped back and pulled a gift from his shirt pocket. "I got you something, too."
My hands shook as I pulled off the black ribbon and unwrapped the box. When I opened the velvet cover, I felt the size of my heart double inside my chest. "Oh, my gosh. I love it." Tears fell onto the silver heart, engraved with the three letters I longed for. Mom.
"Turn it over." Gabe brushed a tear out of his eye.
When I flipped the heart over, it was inscribed with three of the most beautiful words I'd ever seen. Love, your son. "Oh, Gabe. You don't know what this means to me. I love it. I love you. You've made me the happiest I've ever been."
"I love you, too, Mom."
Gabe and I walked back to the house and parted ways inside. The clock was not slowing down. Sonya and Norma were just leaving to get their dresses on, and I was late for my hair and makeup.
"I told them you'd be late," Sonya said as she pushed me to the beautician's chair. "Come on, Val, you're killing me. You still need to get your dress on."
After all of us were in our dresses, with our hair and makeup complete, I retrieved the bag I had brought with me. Inside the bag, I pulled out five wrapped gifts and handed them out to each of the ladies. "I wanted to give you each something, as a thank you for sharing today with me. I couldn't find anything to truly express what you each mean to me, so just take this as a small token of the love I hold for you."
As they unwrapped their gifts, they each held up their matching bracelet, a silver cuff with the words ‘Forever Friends, Always Sisters’ engraved on them. I held up my wrist. "I have one, too. These are for whenever we are feeling down or lonely. It'll be a reminder we have each other, no matter where life takes us. We're in it together from now on."
Gram held up her bracelet close to her glasses with her eyes squinted, she tried to read the engraving on hers. "I can't make out what it says, can you read it to me?"
"It says, ‘Forever in my heart, with love, Valerie.’"
"Aww, honey, it's beautiful." She held out her wrist for me to put her bracelet on.
I drew in some oxygen and looked around the room. "It's show time. I can do this… I can do this."
"Val, you're absolutely stunning." Lily gave me a hug. "You'll do great."
"Break a leg… no wait… don't listen to me." Sonya wrapped her arms around me. "You do clean up well." She took a step back to take another look and gave me a wink. "He's a lucky man."
I held out my foot and shook my white Birkenstocks. "I wore these just so I wouldn't twist my ankle."
"You are as beautiful as your soul is pure." Maggie leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek as she walked out with Gram on her arm.
I smiled as I tried to accept her compliment. But she didn't know the dark secrets I held. I didn't want them to haunt me on my wedding day, but it seemed as though there was no escaping them.
Norma walked over and pushed the loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Shake those thoughts out of that pretty little head of yours." She took my hands in hers and kissed my forehead. "Today is about you."
As she started to walk out the door to join the other ladies, I grabbed her hand. "Norma, don't go." I squeezed my eyes closed to push the tears back in. "Would you walk me down the aisle? I don't want to go alone."
"Oh, honey, I'd be honored."
The music had started playing, and I knew everyone was waiting for me. As Norma led me to the walkway sprinkled in pink and red rose petals, Tom Petty's Angel Dream started play
ing.
Norma gave my hand a squeeze. "Are you ready, dear?"
I nodded and clutched the bouquet of white and purple roses tight. It was time to walk to the man of my dreams and start living our happily ever after. My white floor-length chiffon dress lightly blew in the slight breeze. I felt like an angel, and for today, I could pretend.
Tim was shaking as he watched me walk toward him. He rubbed his eyes and held his hands together in front of his black tuxedo. His satin, dark purple bowtie matched the handkerchief in his pocket. Norma and I stood at the end of the walkway, where she gave me a kiss on the cheek and found her position next to the other ladies. It was better than any dream I ever had as a little girl about my wedding day. My gram, my son, four of the best friends I could ever ask for, and a man who loved me for me and would bend over backward to protect me. There was nothing more I could ask for.
It was all too perfect. Like a fairytale, but I'm old enough to know they don't exist… and if they do, there is always something waiting to steal the joy away. Something was bound to go wrong. It had to. I didn't deserve this much happiness. I reached for my necklace, the one from Gabe, closed my eyes, and shook the self-sabotaging thoughts. Not today. Norma was right, today was my day.
I took the steps to join Tim at the altar. He mouthed the words" you’re beautiful," as he took my hand. The justice of the peace started talking about love and honesty, and I was lost again in my guilt-ridden thoughts. I wanted to tell Tim everything… but there were some things I knew I never could. I thought about raising a family together and keeping secrets from him. I thought about growing old together, and still, never sharing with him the pieces of me I knew he would despise. What was I doing? A cold sweat distracted me as my empty stomach started to gnaw at me.
I grabbed Tim's hand tighter as everything started to spin. I heard Norma whisper. "Don't let them get to you. You are worth being loved." Her voice grounded me and brought me back into my body. I inhaled deeply through my nose and slowly pushed it out my pursed lips, just in time to repeat the words that would bind us in marriage.
Confidentiality Page 17