Confidentiality

by Jessica Aiken-Hall

  I brought my tote bag into the bedroom while Tim was out mowing the lawn. Inside Tim's closet, I dug out one of his ugliest ties and pushed it under the files in my bag. I slipped my iPad in and stood on the back deck. "Hey… Tim…" I waved my arm to get his attention. "Hey, I have to go into work and finish some things up… I should never take Fridays off." I blew him a kiss and drove to the hospital.

  I walked down to the basement, past the morgue. It used to be the most peaceful place in the whole hospital, now all it does is make me sad. I never let myself think about anyone that I knew dying, but now, the stakes were higher. Gram was ready. I've seen that look on others before. As I unlocked my office door, I shook the thought out of my mind. Not today… not now. One thing at a time.

  At my desk, I placed the bag on top as I opened my drawer. I pushed the files to the front and took out the box I put there for safekeeping. I unwrapped the package and held up the bottles. Still in the boxes. Novolin. For the life of me, I couldn't recall what I used on Donald Brice, or even how much it took.

  I opened the boxes and placed the bottles in my tote bag, along with the syringes. I opened my iPad to research the insulin I had… before I hit enter to complete the search, I placed my finger on the delete button. This was something I couldn’t have on my search history. I'd have to chance it, and hope it was enough to do the job. It worked last time.

  When I opened the Facebook app, another message was waiting. Earl sent it after I went to bed last night, but before Lily went over. "Hey, baby, don't you want to help a horny old guy out?" The messages increased in vulgarity as the night went on. If I had answered him, and got the job done last night, he never would have gotten to Lily. She never would have been put in that situation.

  Just one more day. I had to make sure he didn't get to Lily again. "Hey there. I can't wait to satisfy all of your desires." I tossed the iPad onto the desk and sat back in my chair. My body sank into it as I thought about the plan. There was more apprehension than the others this time… something didn't feel right.

  I rolled my shoulders to push some of it away. This had to work, there was no other option. Maybe it was because I was worried about Gram or lying to Tim that made it feel different this time. Whatever it was, I had to push it aside. This would all be over in less than thirty-six hours.

  The ping alerting me of a message pulled me back into the room. Earl had responded. "All of my desires? Oh, boy!"

  The fact he could pretend he did nothing wrong last night illuminated the monster he was. People like him are a hazard to society. He probably didn’t even think he did anything wrong… I was sure he'd spin it, so it was all on Lily. I had to respond without letting my hatred show. "Tomorrow night." I followed it up with a wink emoji.

  "You better believe it. I'm rock hard waiting for you."

  Oh, please, no. The picture of his penis appeared. An emoji was all I could stomach. Thank goodness they were there to do the flirting.

  "You like that, huh?"

  He repulsed me. It was way past disgust. I fought back the urge to vomit and replied. "Uh, huh."

  "Meet me at the cabin tomorrow at 8."

  "Address?"

  "Oak Alley, cabin 2."

  "How will I know you're there?"

  "My blue pickup will be out front. Follow the first road in, it's at the end of the road."

  "Mmm… I can't wait. See you at 8pm. Make sure you save it all for me. I don't want to find out you've been sharing."

  "It's all yours baby."

  "I can hardly wait." And I meant it.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  I called Tim to let him know I'd be later than I thought before I left my office. I needed to make sure Lily was alright and try to convince her to stay away from Earl. I also needed Norma to calm my nerves. I sent Sonya a text, asking her to meet us there before I picked up some ice cream.

  With my arms full of grocery bags, I used my foot to knock on the door. "Oh my, look at you. What on Earth?" Norma took a couple of bags to ease my load.

  "I hope you don't mind. I thought we could all use a little girl time. Sonya's on her way, too."

  "Of course not, you're always welcome here, all of you girls are." She set the bags on the counter. "My goodness, did you buy out the whole store?"

  I laughed. "No… I just didn't know what everyone liked, so I got an… assortment."

  "I guess." She opened the bags and started taking out the cartons of ice cream.

  "And, I figured what we didn't eat the girls would take care of."

  Norma reached into the cabinet and took out five bowls and set them on the counter. While she was getting everything ready, I walked into the living room and found Maggie and Lily watching Lifetime movies. "What are you guys doing? Sad movies? Ugh… I've got something better than that, come on out to the kitchen."

  The front door swung open. "Did someone say ice cream?" The tank top Sonya had on accentuated the cute little baby bump.

  "I knew that would get you here." I couldn't help myself, I had to rub her belly. "Aww… you're so cute."

  "Blech… I feel like a whale."

  "Stop that. You're beautiful. Pregnancy looks good on you." I handed her a bowl.

  "This is fun, what a great idea." Maggie took a bowl and handed one to Lily.

  "I thought it'd do us good to have a little fun."

  "You got whipped cream, too? You thought of everything… I haven't had a sundae in ages." Lily held the can over her tower of ice cream and sprayed.

  "I haven't, either.” I laughed. “I figured we could eat away our worries."

  We found our place around Norma's table after we had our ice cream and all the fixings. "It's funny how we all have our own spot."

  "Creatures of habit." Norma pushed the spoon into her mouth. "Mmm… what a treat."

  "I don't want to be a buzz kill, but… do you have a gun, Lily?" Sonya set her spoon down. "I brought mine… in case you want to borrow it."

  "I don't know anything about guns." The smile left Lily's face. "Only how it feels to be terrified of them."

  "I was afraid of them at first, too… but Andrew has been working with me, showing me things."

  "Andrew has a gun?" I titled my head as I listened to their conversation.

  "Yeah, he's got a few of them… we have matching nine-millimeters… his and hers." She laughed.

  "He's got the same gun as you?" My wheels started turning.

  "Yeah, only his isn't pink."

  "Is he pretty good with it?" I let the ice cream melt in my mouth as I thought back to my list.

  "Yeah, he's like a pro or something." She held up her hands in the shape of a gun. "Pow."

  I shook my head and gave her a smirk. "Pow? I'm sure it doesn't sound so innocent when you pull the actual trigger."

  "Well, no… it's pretty loud… but one of his guns has this thing that makes it quiet… it's a quieter… or something…"

  "A silencer?" Norma pushed her spoon around the melted ice cream.

  "Yeah, that's it. I don't know if he's supposed to have it or not… he told me not to tell anyone about that gun."

  Everything began to add up. No one ever heard a gunshot at any of the murders, at least, no one reported hearing one. A silencer would have given the murderer a chance to do the crime and flee. No one would even suspect anything. And, Andrew looks like a regular guy. I'm sure if he walked past you in the hall, you wouldn't even remember seeing him. I felt my head nodding. "Hmmm."

  "What?" Sonya stopped her story and looked at me.

  "Nothing."

  "You said… hmmm… you're not going to tell Tim about the gun, are you… Andrew will be so mad at me… I promised him I wouldn't say anything."

  "Relax… I was just enjoying my ice cream." I shoved a spoon in my mouth. "Mmmm."

  "So anyway… I can leave my gun here if you'd like. I can show you how to use it."

  "No, I don't think that's necessary." Norma got up from the table and started cleaning up our mess.
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  Sonya leaned over to Lily and whispered. "Just let me know if you want it."

  Lily nodded. "Thanks."

  "What are your plans this evening?" I turned my attention to Lily.

  "Maggie and I are going to binge-watch the Lifetime movie marathon. We're just going to hang out together."

  "Yeah, we've got the air on and the blinds closed. We're not going to leave the couch for anything… except to go to the bathroom. Do you want to join us?" Maggie looked at Sonya and me.

  "It does sound like a lot of fun… but I told Tim I'd spend some time with him since Gabe's gone for the weekend."

  Sonya winked. "Hubba hubba."

  "Oh my god, what are you, five?" I brushed the hair out of my face. "We have decided to try for a baby… so I guess this is as good a time as any."

  "Aww, Val, that's exciting." Maggie bit her fingernail.

  "Yeah… and slightly terrifying… but I think it's time."

  "That's wonderful news, Val." Norma rejoined us at the table. "Your babies can grow up together."

  "And mine can babysit." Maggie laughed. "What I really mean is, I can babysit… any time."

  "Thanks, Maggie, you'll be the best Auntie ever. These babies are going to be lucky to have so many aunts. I couldn't think of anyone better to share my baby with. I love you ladies."

  The visit did just what I needed. Sonya, Maggie, Lily, and Norma each offered something different to the mix. And, seeing how much better Lily was feeling, I had all I needed to complete the plan. The thought of him getting to her before I get to him was the fuel to my fire and gave me the courage I had been lacking. The countdown was on.

  Tim was in the shower when I arrived home. It gave me enough time to pull out my notebook and read over all of my notes. I added the new information about Andrew and the nine-millimeter with the silencer. It all added up to Andrew. He had the motive and the means. And he wasn't someone the cops had on their radar. The murders stopped after the FBI got involved.

  I tried to think if I had shared that piece of information in the group. If Sonya knew, she would have told Andrew. I probably would have told him, too. I still couldn't understand the other guys, though. Aside from being sex offenders, they weren’t connected to Sonya. At least not that I knew. But it had to be him. Who else could it be? I wrote Andrew's name down on the paper and circled it. Andrew was the Executioner.

  Chapter Forty

  "Thank you for being so great with Gabe. I know you're the reason he took that job."

  "He's a great kid. He's smart and driven, like his mom." He kissed the top of my head.

  "You think I'm driven?" My eyes went to the ceiling fan as it spun around above us. "I wouldn't say that…"

  "I would. You know what you want and you go after it. You don't give up until you have what you want."

  "Hmm… I'd say that description fits you more than me."

  He pulled me close. "Yeah… I'm glad I didn't stop chasing you. But… you were worth the wait."

  "I'm glad you didn't give up." I pressed my face into his chest. "What would make you stop loving me?"

  "What?" He moved my hair out of my face. "Why would you ask such a thing? Nothing could make me stop loving you."

  "Not even if I really screwed up?"

  "Val, there’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. I'm afraid you're stuck with me… forever. You know… until death do us part." He gave me a tight squeeze. "What's going on? Is there something you want to talk about?"

  I closed my eyes tight. "No… I was just checking. I just don't want you to ever be disappointed in me."

  "Not a chance. Whatever happens in life, I'll be by your side. No matter what."

  "You promise?"

  "Yes."

  "Say it… say you promise."

  "Val, I promise I'll never leave you. I'll be by your side, by our kids' side, until my last breath."

  "Good. I promise, too."

  The warmth of his arms gave me the protection I needed. Thoughts of Gram came in waves. I didn't want to get the call. I'd been on the other end of that call more times than I can count. I'm not ready for that pain. Not now, not when life was being created. Mine, and the baby we were trying for.

  Thoughts of Earl pushed out the pain of losing Gram. I know what Tim said, but he didn't know why. I wanted to believe him, but it was too much to ask of him. There were pieces of me he didn’t know…. he'd never know. The shame of that weighed as heavy as the pain of losing him. I sold him a version of myself that didn’t exist. I couldn’t expect him to keep his word when I never kept mine.

  Then there was Mom and Chad. Even after all of these years, she was still out to make my life miserable. I hated myself for not turning Chad in for raping me. If I had, perhaps my life could have been easier.

  I didn't care about the money Gram was leaving behind, but I knew Mom did. It was all Mom ever talked about when I was a kid. "Wait until your gram dies… life will be so much better." I didn't believe her, because it wasn't Gram's money I loved, it was Gram. When she found out about the will, I knew she'd show up on my doorstep. Not to offer an apology, but to try to change history. To make me see things the way she wants me to. The thought that Mom might get to see her grandchild was enough to make me want to learn how to shoot a gun. I'd stop at nothing to protect my child, unlike her.

  "Val, you okay?" Tim's voice pulled me out of my racing thoughts.

  "I'm fine." A sigh filled the silence I wasn't able to. "I'm just thinking."

  "About what?"

  "Our future…. I'm just thinking about our baby… well… when we have one. I just hope I'll be a good mom… but I know one thing… I’ll do way better than my mom."

  "You're going to be a great mom. Look at how great you are with Gabriel… both of them." He laughed. "The reason Gabe is so great is because you were able to let him know how important he was to you… you were just a kid yourself, but you knew how to show him love. All a kid needs is love. And I know you have so much to give."

  "You think so?"

  "I know so. Stop beating yourself up, Val. You're the sweetest, most caring woman I've ever met. Try to let go of that doubt and enjoy this time we have."

  "About that… I think I'm going to give my notice at the hospital. I think I want to be an advocate and help women who've been hurt."

  "Like at the domestic violence center?"

  "Well, kind of. I was thinking about doing my own thing, though. I think being at the center scares some ladies away. I just want to help the ones who aren't going to go get help… you know… maybe the ones who haven't left yet and just need to talk to someone."

  "Hmm… that sounds like something you'd be great at. That's exciting, Val."

  "I never would have found out how much I love that kind of thing if it wasn't for you. Without your love and support, I'd be stuck in the morgue for the rest of my life."

  "Now, isn't that a lovely thought."

  "Ha-ha. I'm done with death… I'm ready to join the living." Well, almost.

  Chapter Forty-One

  "I've got to run out to do a few errands. I should be back in a couple hours, do you need anything?" It was the best excuse I could think of to keep me from lying to my new husband.

  "Yeah, I could use some creamer for my coffee. I think we're almost out." Tim got up from his recliner and stretched. "Let me come with you." He looked down at his watch and grabbed his keys.

  My stomach flipped. "I, ah… have to stop at Norma's, too. We might be awhile. You're welcome to join me if you want."

  "Hmmm, so we might not be back in time for the game?" His head turned to the TV and then back to me.

  "Most likely not." I mustered up a laugh. "But it's fine if you just want to stay here." I picked up my keys and my purse and gave him a kiss. "I'll bring you back some snacks."

  "You're too good to me." He walked me to the door and kissed me goodbye. "You're sure it's okay?"

  "Positive." I hated I had to lie. I despise liars, and here
I am, lying to my sweet husband. The thought of what I was going to do next was enough to put me over the edge, but I had to. Lily's life depended on me.

  I drove to the hospital to grab my supplies and change into the provocative top I shoved into my purse. There was enough cleavage to complete the look I was going for with the top two buttons undone. I zipped up my jacket to cover myself and headed back to my car. I opened my tote bag and found Tim's tie, the bottle of insulin, and the syringes. I took out one of the needles and injected it into the vile, pulling it back until it was full. I repeated this with three more and placed them back in my bag. In the rearview mirror, I fixed my hair and put on the lipstick Sonya had given me, puckering my lips at my reflection.

  I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and reminded myself why I was doing this. Lily needs this. On the drive over, I half wished Andrew would beat me to the job, like the last two. Earl hadn't made the front page for what he did to Lily, I don't even think he made the news at all. Bobby Green was the last murder to take place in Lawrenceville. I think once Jimmy was out of the picture, his job was done. Bobby was just to keep the attention off of him. I knew this one would be left to me.

  From the stories Lily had shared, I was a little nervous. Something didn't sit right in my gut. I tried to brush that feeling aside, blaming it on the guilt I felt for the white lie I had to tell Tim. The long, winding dirt road that took me to the cabin had no lights illuminating the road. Just the light of the full moon lit the way. When I arrived at Earl's place, I pulled my car in as close as possible to try and hide it from the view of passing cars. The camp was set back into the trees. A quick look around satisfied any fear of being found. There was no one around.

  When I picked up my cell phone, I saw there was no service. Tim wouldn't be able to reach me. The pregame had already started, and if tonight was like any other night, nothing would be able to pull his attention away from the TV. I took one last look in the mirror, tossed my hair off my shoulders, and removed my coat. I unbuttoned one more button for good measure. This was for Lily.