Oh, holy hell. Her stomach felt like it had sprouted wings. “H-how is that not distracting?”
“I don’t want you doing this.”
She didn’t hesitate. “Too bad. I’m doing it.”
His eyes flared along with her already raging need. But she wouldn’t give in. She’d already decided a moment ago that she’d done too much of that lately. Time to leave him wanting more for once. He obviously read the resolve in her eyes, because he huffed out a breath, giving one last tug of her belt to judge its secureness. “Go. I’ll be right here.”
“Good. I might need someone to catch me if I miss the net.” She yelped as he made a grab for her, leaping out of his reach and jogging off to join a nervous-looking Justin. They climbed up the ladder to the platform, which Justin explained stood twenty-three feet high. When they reached the top, Lucy scanned her surroundings and took a deep, exhilarating breath. This is what she’d wanted after those grueling years of grad school. What she’d missed by buckling down and locking her wild side in a cage. She’d missed that feeling when you’re about to embark on the unknown. Matt gave her that feeling, too. She just didn’t know how long he’d stick around to give it to her.
No more icky thoughts. Focus on the positive.
Justin finished securing the safety lines to her belt, then handed her the trapeze bar. “Okay, now as I said, this first time is going to be really fun and easy. Just let yourself fly. Drop whenever you’re ready and the net will catch you.”
Lucy nodded once, squared her shoulders, and jumped.
…
Matt watched with a mixture of horror and awe as Lucy tucked her legs up to her chest and curled them around the bar. No. This was only her first jump, she wasn’t supposed to go upside down this quickly. He hadn’t been given enough time to mentally prepare for the sight of her dangling upside down like a monkey at the zoo, zipping through the air at a speed that made his heart seize. Oh, but she couldn’t just dangle. Oh no. This crazy girl he couldn’t get enough of had to fling her arms wide and arch her back, as if she’d been doing it her entire life.
Matt didn’t even realize he’d started moving until he was positioned directly underneath her swinging form, watching her expression transform with absolute bliss. Her beauty and abandon sucked the air right out of his lungs. Yet at the same time, he was jealous. He wanted to be the only one who made her feel like that. If that wasn’t a supremely dangerous and arrogant sentiment, he didn’t know what was. That right didn’t belong to him, nor did it have any place around her. It warned him that he needed to stay far, far away from her, even as he felt compelled to drag her off the trapeze and never let go. For the first time he could remember, he didn’t know if the controlled part of him would win. Not where Lucy was concerned.
It terrified the ever-loving shit out of him.
She let go of the bar then. Time froze for Matt as she dropped, dropped…and landed. She bounced once into the air, letting out a delighted laugh that punctured his rib cage. He could only stand and watch as she rolled toward him and eased off the net to her feet. Their eyes locked and whatever she saw in his expression made the glow on her face dim. He hated that reaction, because he recognized it as inevitable. If he spent any length of time around her, he’d dim her until no more light existed. Knew it with absolute certainty.
Her hands began clawing at the safety wires, disconnecting them from her belt. “Is there a bathroom I can use?” she called to Purple Spandex.
“Inside the office, all the way in back. You don’t want to do another jump first?” the asshole shouted back, making Matt want to strangle him.
“No. Not right now.” She finally succeeded in freeing herself from the belt, dropping it to the ground and coming forward to take his hand. “Come on, Chuckles.”
Matt followed her into the empty office, down the brightly lit hallway. He had no idea where they were going or what she wanted once they got there, only knew he couldn’t turn down a chance to touch her. Not now, after he’d just watched her careen through the air and let go. Probably not ever. When she tried to pull him into the women’s bathroom, he balked, but followed her in anyway.
When the door closed behind them, he heard someone breathing heavily and realized the sound came from him. A glance at his face in the mirror had him doing a double take. Jesus, he looked like shit. Worse, he felt shaky, anxious. Weighed down with need, not only of the sexual variety. Something more. Something urgent. He’d meant it earlier when he told her he wanted to spank her until she screamed. Watching her jump off the platform, then let go and free-fall, had left him feeling startlingly out of control. Control he needed to regain immediately.
Somehow, Lucy seemed to understand, coming to stand in front of him. “Whatever you need, take it.”
He’d spun her around to face the sink before he’d commanded his hands to do so. He saw in the mirror the way she closed her eyes, mouth parting on a bracing inhale, and his cock swelled in his jeans. It made him want to hear her gasp his name. Sob it. Shout it. Made him desperate to hear the slap of her flesh. Without a trace of gentleness, he yanked down her black yoga pants and bared her tight, fuckable ass. “Brace your hands on the sink.”
Reflected in the mirror, her breasts rose and fell temptingly. He reached around her with a rough hand and pulled down her neckline so he could watch them jiggle each time he slapped her. He found her nipples and pinched them roughly, her needy whimper making his vision blur.
“You drive me out of my goddamn mind, you know that?” He ran his hand over her shoulder and down her back, ending at her upturned ass, kneading the flesh with his fingers. “You shouldn’t want this. You shouldn’t want my punishment. But you do, don’t you? You’re starved for it.”
“I want it.” She pushed back and twisted her hips. “Please.”
A voice sped through his consciousness telling him this was wrong, that he was introducing her to something that she should never have to know about, but his body overruled the warning. Power licking through his veins, he leaned down and spoke very precisely near her ear. “I hope that motherfucker hears me spanking your ass until it’s red. This first one is because I didn’t like his hands on you. When it lands, I want to hear an apology.”
He watched her eyes glaze over in the mirror, transforming her from the carefree girl flying through the air to someone else entirely. It shamed him. It made him hotter. Keeping their gazes locked, he brought his hand down with a loud slap. Her mouth opened on a silent scream, before she whispered something he couldn’t hear.
“I didn’t hear you, Lucy.”
She pushed her ass into his hands, asking for more. “I’m sorry.”
He couldn’t stop from pressing her forward onto the sink, pumping his jeans-encased erection between her spread thighs at an erratic pace, until she cried out. Finally, he managed to drag himself away. “This next one is for being impulsive and not waiting for proper instruction before flipping upside down like a lunatic. You scared the hell out of me. An apology, Lucy.”
His hand connecting with her flesh reverberated through the restroom, mingling with her throaty moan. If he checked, he knew she’d be wet and ready, but something wouldn’t let him take her there, in the restroom. Did he actually have a shred of decency left? When she met his eyes and breathed her second apology, he stopped wondering and resolved to think about it later. At a time when he felt rational. He was getting there now, regaining his composure with every blow to her perfect backside. Every sound of pleasure coming from her lips. This sweet, carefree girl was curing him of his anxiety. And he was dragging her down into his pit.
Matt almost stopped then, the realization sobering him ever so slightly. Then she thrust her ass higher and bit that plump bottom lip, heavy-lidded gaze meeting his in the mirror. Her breasts were ripe, nipples pouting up at him. Christ, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Too beautiful. Nothing could stop him from giving her that final blow. Verbally and physically.
He wrap
ped her ponytail in his fist and tilted her head back. “This last one is for letting me do this to you. For not running away every time you see me. Say you’re sorry for letting me touch you.”
Her eyes cleared, a hint of panic entering them. “No.”
“Lucy,” he grated. “You are not in control. You handed it to me when we walked in here.”
“I don’t care.” Her voice shook. “I won’t say it.”
A frustrated growl ripped from his throat. He didn’t know where he found the strength, but he released her, falling back against the bathroom door. She quickly tugged up her pants and turned to face him. He was horrified to see tears in her eyes.
“Why wouldn’t you say it? Look at you.” His voice sounded hollow, agonized. “Two days in a row I’ve made you cry. I bet you don’t cry this much in a year.”
She closed the distance between them and slipped her arms around his neck. He flinched at the contact because it felt so right. So damn right. He didn’t deserve it after what he’d just done. How he’d ruined her morning with jealousy and control issues. “I lied to you once and I won’t do it again. That’s why I didn’t say it.” She pulled back and kissed his mouth lightly. “Drive me home?”
He closed his eyes so he couldn’t see her. If he kept looking, he’d kiss her and lose himself. She’d make him forget about the shame and he wouldn’t allow that. “You know I will.”
They drove home in silence, although he could feel Lucy throwing occasional glances in his direction. He was glad she didn’t speak or try to discuss what happened, how he’d overreacted. What the hell would he say? He had no explanation for what she did to him. Inside him. When they pulled up in front of the town house, he felt a flare of panic at the prospect of watching her leave, but reminded himself that her itinerary was at home on his kitchen table. He could relax marginally knowing where she’d be tomorrow, even if he knew he’d spend every moment until then convincing himself to stay away.
“Matt?”
Cautiously, he glanced at her. “Yeah.”
“I would have made you meat loaf.” Her hands fidgeted in her lap, but she held his stare. “For your first meal back, I mean. I would have made you meat loaf.”
He couldn’t summon words as she jumped out of the car and speed-walked toward the town house, dragging his bleeding heart along behind her.
Chapter Eleven
Lucy set her oversize tote bag down very gently in deference to its contents and plopped down beside it on the grass. Union Square Park was a beehive of activity even in the middle of a workday, couples sharing lunch from food trucks, dog walkers struggling to keep control of their charges, tourists mapping their next destination. She let her gaze wander over the interweaving crowd, looking for a sign of the group she’d come to meet. There were a few people meandering around on the steps, holding bags similar to hers. They made subtle eye contact with her, then looked away.
She hid her smile and leaned back in the grass, estimating she still had about five minutes before the event started. Five more minutes until she could effectively distract herself from memories of yesterday. She’d had very little luck in the distraction department last night and this morning. Considering she’d been pleasured within an inch of her life by an insanely gorgeous and complicated ESU officer, then spanked in a public restroom, she figured she got a pass.
Matt. What the hell was she going to do about him?
At the trapeze school yesterday, she’d glimpsed something inside him that should have scared her. Instead, she’d been drawn closer as if pulled by an invisible rope. To soothe, to reassure, in his own unique way. Perhaps it had been the promise of finally getting underneath his tough outer shell. Or maybe her attraction to him didn’t allow for any other reaction apart from gravitating toward him. She hadn’t liked seeing him that way, anxiety pouring off him in waves. Somehow, she’d done that to him, which had tripled her compulsion to make it better.
Say you’re sorry for letting me touch you. She’d tossed and turned through the night trying to figure out what he’d meant by that. How could this gorgeous, larger-than-life man have a single insecurity? Yet that’s exactly what she’d seen when he let down his emotional brick wall yesterday. The strong, confident man had been rendered momentarily vulnerable. But she’d been just as attracted to that part of him as she was to his dominant side. Didn’t he realize that?
She groaned out loud at the memory of what she’d said to him as she exited the car. The feelings she’d revealed. I would have made you meat loaf. God, he likely thought she was either a simpleton or desperate. He must have broken the speed limit driving away from the town house. Combined with the scene in the bathroom, she probably wouldn’t be seeing him again. The thought lodged in her throat, making it difficult to swallow.
When she experienced the distinct feeling of being watched, she rocketed back into a sitting position and looked around the park for the source. It wasn’t just the feeling of being watched, it was the feeling of being perused. Studied. Heat traveled along her skin, beginning at her neck and moving down over her breasts and curling in her belly. She’d felt it at the outdoor movie, the same thickening of air around her. The sudden desire to be pushed down and ravaged. Matt was here. She just couldn’t find him through the gathering crowd.
There. Leaning back against his ESU truck, about fifty yards away. Her mouth went dry at the sight of him looking so authoritative, eyes hidden behind a pair of Ray-Bans. Now she knew it wasn’t just the uniform that made him seem so commanding. It was him. She knew the strict control he exercised and it excited the hell out of her. Even layered on top of the vulnerability she’d seen yesterday. Maybe more so because of it. God, she wanted him again. It startled her exactly how much.
At the moment, though, she’d settle for getting him to come over and simply talk to her. Then she remembered what was about to take place in the park. Oh no, he needed to stay put or he’d be in for a world of surprise and irritation. Quickly, she turned back around and pretended to be engrossed in her phone, hoping her lack of come-hitherness would keep him at a safe distance.
No luck. A moment later, a shadow darkened the ground around her. Dread in her stomach, she looked up and found Matt staring down at her, arms crossed over his chest. She couldn’t deny that having him towering over her in his shit-stomping boots, badge clipped to his hip, made her hormones twirl around an imaginary stripper pole.
“Lucy.”
His deep voice shivered its way through her. She could see herself reflected in his sunglasses, and her tiny likeness projected against his imposing figure made her dizzy. This man had brought her to the brink of insanity yesterday. How could he look so cool now? “How do you keep finding me?”
He glanced away. “You left your bucket list in my car.”
Oh. “And that means you have to keep showing up?”
She had a feeling he was glowering at her behind those dark sunglasses. “If you would just tell Brent your friend canceled on you, that you’re alone in the city all week, you wouldn’t have to do everything on the list by yourself.”
“Why haven’t you told him?” When he didn’t answer, she stood up and stepped into his personal space, looked up at him with all the seductiveness she could muster on short notice. “Maybe you like finding me alone, Chuckles?”
His jaw flexed, but still he said nothing.
Lucy sighed and stepped back. “He’s all content in his domestic bliss. I didn’t come here to throw a wrench into his engine, I came to help it run smoother.”
Matt considered her for a long moment. “How do you plan to do that?”
“By getting a job, easing the pressure. Leaving him alone,” she added under her breath.
He surprised her by laying a hand on her arm. “You really think you’re doing him a favor, don’t you?” When she simply looked at him, he shook his head. “You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” She glanced away. “You knew nothing about me the day we met. Nothing except what a shi
tload of trouble I am. A nuisance.”
Matt’s hand flew to her chin, tipping her face up. “If I ever hear of you calling yourself that again, I’m going to find you wherever you are and make you sorry.”
Being this close to him, hearing the steel in his voice, tied her in knots. If given the opportunity, she might never get used to it. “Is that a promise?”
“That’s a promise.” Matt narrowed his eyes. “Anyway, you might be half a shitload of trouble, but definitely not a full one. Unless there is a trapeze involved.”
“Think so?” She grinned. “I’m about to shoot that opinion to hell.”
A whistle blew in the distance, telling her the event would begin in thirty seconds. She needed to warn Matt. He was already distracted, looking around them with a puzzled look on his face. Lucy turned to find that a huge crowd had gathered, all smiling in anticipation. “What is this, anyway? Your itinerary just said ‘FM, Union Square.’”
Lucy bit her lip. “FM stands for flash mob.”
“Jesus.”
No sooner had the word left his mouth than a giant water balloon hit him square in the shoulder. Mouth open in shock, he looked at the wet spot on his uniform shirt, then down at Lucy. She couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled in her throat. She clapped both hands over her mouth to keep it contained. “Oh, God. I think your uniform makes you a target.”
The throngs of people behind her erupted in a series of battle cries as water balloons began flying, exploding on people and the pavement around them. Unsuspecting tourists scattered in every direction, some braver ones stopping to take pictures on their cell phone. She’d been right, though. Several participants were pointing at them, probably dying to get a shot at a member of law enforcement. She turned back to find Matt shaking his head.
“You better get out of here, Officer.”
A water balloon narrowly missed his head. “Screw that. Where’s your ammo?”
Lucy’s eyebrows shot up, but she indicated the tote bag full of water balloons.
Staking His Claim (A Line of Duty Novel) (Entangled Brazen) Page 10