Helen stared down at his tabletop. “We aren’t talking about me.”
He picked up a pen and took a clean sheet of paper from his top drawer. “Where do I start? Dear or dearest?”
She looked at him. “How do you usually start your letters?”
“I just use her name. ‘To Angela, my sister in Christ.’”
“Then I would start with my dearest Angela.”
“My dearest. All right, what else could I say that might win her over?”
Helen straightened the tools on his desk and lined them up neatly. “Tell her what is in your heart.”
“Like what?”
“How do you feel when she isn’t with you?”
He bent over the paper. “Every day that I am not with you is like living inside a dark cloud. How is that?”
“Nice.”
“Just nice?”
“You can do better.”
“You bring light to my world, to my heart and soul. My heart smiles every time I close my eyes and imagine your face. I dream that one day your heart will smile back at mine.”
“That’s beautiful, Mark.”
“You like it?”
Helen cleared her throat. “I’m sure she will.”
He bent over his paper again. “When I can’t sleep, I look up at the moon in the night sky, and I wonder if you are looking at it, too. It comforts me to know you and I share something so lovely.” He looked up. “What else should I say?”
“Tell her what she does that makes you happy”
“Everything you do makes me happy.”
“Specifics are better.”
He nodded. “I love the way you tap your foot when you are feeling impatient, and that cute pout on your lips makes me want to kiss you into a better mood.”
Helen stepped back and put her hands in her pockets. “You have the idea now. No point in my eavesdropping any longer.”
“Would those words make you come back to a man?”
She gazed at him. “Only if I knew that he loved me.”
“How could you be sure of that?”
“By the way he kissed me.” She looked away. “Go see her in person.”
“Did you know Joseph didn’t love you by the way he kissed you?”
“Maybe I did.” She marched out of the room, letting the door slam behind her.
Mark sighed. How could he convince Helen of his feelings if she thought he wanted a different woman? How could he make her believe the truth?
He turned back to his work and noticed Paul standing a few feet away. How much had he overheard?
“I wondered what was wrong with you. Now I know,” Paul said, coming to stand beside Mark.
“What do you think you know?”
“You’re in love with Helen. The moon in the night sky, I may use that line myself.”
“Helen was helping me write a letter to Angela.”
“That’s not who you were thinking of. I saw your face when you looked at Helen.”
“Okay, I wasn’t writing to Angela. I was trying to find out what Helen would want to hear from a man who’s falling in love with her.”
“Want some advice?”
“No. Yes.” Mark raked both hands through his hair. “I had everything figured out, Paul. I had a way to build a business with Angela’s father that would keep Daed working and provide security for our sisters so they would never have to be sent to live with strangers.”
“Whoa.” Paul leaned in to look Mark in the eyes. “Why would our sisters ever be sent to live with strangers?”
Mark shrugged. “Bad things happen.”
“Like your mother dying?”
“That’s right. And like your father.”
Paul took Mark by his shoulders and gave him a gentle shake. “I know your dad shuffled you off to different places when he couldn’t get work. Mamm told me about that, but you and I would never let that happen to our sisters. Would we?”
Paul slapped a hand to his chest. “I wouldn’t let that happen. We are a family. We’ll always be a family, and we’ll always look out for each other. Isaac and Anna, Noah and Fannie, Samuel and Rebecca and their children, Timothy and Lillian, Joshua, Mary and Hannah, Luke and Emma, my mother and all our sisters and your father and the members of our church, not to mention our God in heaven who looks after all His children. You aren’t alone, Mark. You aren’t the only one responsible for what happens to us.”
Mark wrestled with his need to be in control even as he realized how fruitless his attempt had been. “But I’m the oldest son.”
Paul straightened. “You might be the oldest, but you aren’t the only one who cares. Is that why you were going to marry Angela? So you could go into business with her father?”
“It seemed like a good plan at the time. Fortunately, Angela has decided she won’t marry me, but Helen thinks I can convince her otherwise.”
“Well, your letter-writing exercise didn’t help there.”
“Thanks for that bit of useless insight. Tell me, how can I convince Helen she is the one I want and not Angela?”
“Knowing how stubborn Helen can be when she sets her mind to a thing, you shouldn’t rush her. You two are friends. Continue to be her friend and pray her feelings grow into something more. I think she is already in love with you, but she isn’t ready to admit it.”
“I don’t know. I don’t have anything to offer her. No job, no business prospects. Nothing.”
“What do you mean no job? I’ve heard Onkel Isaac tell you many times that you can stay here and work with him.”
“It wouldn’t be my business.” Was that really so important anymore?
“That’s where you’re wrong. This is the family’s business. You and I are already a part of it. We have been since the day we arrived.”
Paul was right. God had been working on a plan for Mark’s life without him even realizing it. Mark reached out and ruffled his brother’s hair. “How did you get to be so smart?”
Paul playfully slapped his hand away. “Not because of anything my big brother taught me.”
* * *
Helen was amazed at how easily she and Mark slipped back into old habits. He showed up for breakfast at Charlotte’s three times the following week without Clyde bringing him. Sometimes she caught him staring at her with a look of longing on his face, but he would quickly look away and make a joke or tease Charlotte. On Friday, he accompanied her, along with her aunt and Clyde, to the farmers’ market. Clyde and his clowning drew a crowd again, and Helen sold out of the dog biscuits before the evening was half over and took orders for another dozen packages. She was happy to stay busy because it kept her mind off how much she wanted to tell Mark about her growing feelings for him.
There was no point in denying it any longer. She was in love with him, but she couldn’t say anything. She wouldn’t. She had come between two people who belonged together once before and hurt them deeply in the process. She would never do anything to hurt Mark. She knew how much his plans and his family’s security meant to him.
Charlotte still spent hours searching for Juliet each day. Helen had given up all hope of finding the raccoon, but Charlotte wouldn’t. Clyde remained in her room all through the night and didn’t bother the Bowmans again.
On Saturday, Mark helped Helen stock her unsold items in Anna’s gift shop. He carried in two large boxes for her and then stood looking around. “Where do you want these?”
“I’ve been putting some of the breads and rolls beside the honey and jams Anna has for sale. I put the rest of the baked goods on the table at the back.”
He removed several packages of bread from her box and handed them to her to arrange to her satisfaction. “I think you should display the cookies, cake pops and dog treats beside the checkout counter. You’ll get more impulse buys that way.”<
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“You might be right.” She set out the bread and headed toward the table Anna had set up for Helen’s display. She moved behind the table to put a little more distance between Mark and herself.
Mark chuckled, and Helen dipped her head. She loved the sound of his laughter. “What’s so funny?”
“You should have Clyde in here to point toward the dog biscuits and clown for people.”
She shook her head as she put more of the goods on the table. “I don’t think that’s a wise idea. How many of Anna’s customers would enjoy being knocked down by him?”
He planted his hands on the table and leaned toward her. She looked up and met his gaze. “Some fellas might enjoy having a pretty girl pushed into their arms. I did.”
Helen felt the heat rush to her face. “I don’t remember it that way.”
Mark walked around the table and stood close beside her. Too close, but she couldn’t move away. Every moment, it became harder to keep her feelings hidden and pretend she didn’t love him. More than anything, she wanted to be held in his arms and feel the touch of his lips on hers.
“It was the loss of your cream horns that upset me.” He picked up a package of them and began to unwrap it.
“Those are for sale,” she said, but her voice cracked. She hoped he didn’t notice.
“I’ll pay for them.” He took out one and bit into it but he made a sour face. “There’s something wrong with these. They aren’t sweet enough.”
Had she made a mistake in the recipe? “Really?”
“Try a bite and see what you think.” He turned the pastry around so she could sample the other end but he still held it between his fingers.
She was forced to lean forward slightly. She took a quick nibble, then pulled away. “It tastes okay to me.”
He used his thumb to brush away some crumbs at the corner of her mouth. She licked her lips to remove the tingle, but it didn’t help.
“I remember them being much sweeter,” Mark said softly as he cupped his hand beneath her chin and leaned toward her.
Helen closed her eyes as his lips touched hers ever so softly. Her heart soared with joy. Nothing could be sweeter than this. It was everything she dreamed of and more.
The next second, he drew away. She wanted to pull him back, to know that happiness again, but the bell over the door jingled as a customer came in, forcing her return to reality. She pressed her fingers to her lips as she stared at Mark. “I’m sorry I let that happen,” she whispered hoarsely.
“I’m not.” The tender look in his eyes was more than she could bear.
Helen fled, leaving the rest of her goods in the boxes.
* * *
Thankfully, she was able to avoid seeing Mark on Sunday except for brief glances during the church service. She didn’t stay for the lunch, giving him no opportunity to seek her out. All afternoon and evening, she waited for him to come see her at home, but he didn’t. In her mind, it was proof that the kiss had been a mistake.
When Mark didn’t show up for breakfast the next morning, Helen was deeply relieved. She still had no idea how she could face him or what she would say. Taking a clue from his absence, she decided the best thing to do was to pretend it never happened.
When she reached the office, she learned he would be away on business for the next several days, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t at all certain she could pull off such a pretense.
On Tuesday, the mail carrier brought Helen the letter she had been both dreading and praying to receive. It was from her family. She carried the letter down to the bank of the river to read in private. Tearing open the envelope, she pulled out a single sheet of paper. There was one line written on it.
Helen, Come home for we all love and miss you. Olivia.
Tears poured down Helen’s cheeks as she clutched the letter to her chest. She loved them and missed them, too. Her shame and her pride had kept her away, but her sister’s words bound up the wounds of her heart. She could go home. Maybe there, she could eventually forget about Mark and the love she didn’t dare admit.
* * *
The next morning, Helen was putting out packages of cookies and cake pops to replace the ones that had sold in the gift shop. The entire Bowman family, including Mark, had gone to a picnic with Fannie’s parents to celebrate Fannie’s birthday, making one more day that Helen didn’t have to face him. She hadn’t told anyone about her plans to return home, but she would have to do so soon.
The bell over the door jingled. Helen looked up to see who had entered. It was a tall Amish woman with a wary expression on her face.
Helen smiled. “Welcome to our gift store. Feel free to look around. Be sure to ask me for help if you need it. Are you looking for something special?”
“I’m not shopping. I hoped you could tell me where I might find Mark Bowman. I’ve been to the house, but no one is there, and the business seems to be closed until later today.”
“Mark and his family have gone on a picnic with the Erb family. It’s a birthday party for their daughter, but he should back before long. Is he expecting you? I can give you directions to the Erb farm.”
“Mark isn’t expecting me. In fact, I’m sure he’ll be shocked to see me. I’ll just wait, if that’s okay.” She carried a small suitcase in one hand, and Helen wondered who she was.
“Of course. You are welcome to wait here, or you can go over to the house and wait there. The Bowmans won’t mind. I’m Helen Zook. I’m a neighbor.”
The woman smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Helen. I’m Angela Yoder.”
Helen stared at her in shock. “From Pennsylvania?”
“I take it Mark has mentioned me.”
“He has.” What did Angela want? Why had she come all this way to see Mark when he was returning to Pennsylvania in another few weeks?
“I’m on my way to a cousin’s wedding in Millersburg, and I had my driver stop here since I was this close. I wasn’t expecting to wait. I can’t stay long.”
“I’m sure Mark will be delighted to see you.”
“I hope so. I sure do hope so,” Angela muttered more to herself than to Helen. “What has he said about me?”
“That you and he had an understanding but that you changed your mind.”
Angela’s laugh sounded flat. “I guess he has told you quite a bit. You must know him well.”
“We’re friends.”
“That’s more than I can say, and I’m going to marry him.”
Helen’s heart plunged to her feet. She should be glad for him, but all she felt was heartbreak. “Mark is a fine man. He is honest and hardworking. He will make a loving and comforting husband. He deserves to be happy, and so do you.”
“I hope what I have to tell him will make us both happy.”
Mark’s letter must have convinced her to give him another chance. “His dream of a business back home means everything to him.”
“I’m glad to know that.”
Helen noticed the Bowmans’ buggy turn in and stop. Mark and Anna got out, but Isaac and the others drove on. “Here he comes now.”
The bell over the door jangled as Mark and his aunt entered. Anna pulled off her black traveling bonnet. “I’m ever so grateful that you kept an eye on things here, Helen, but you are free to go now.” She went behind the counter and hung up her bonnet.
Mark had seen Angela. He looked frozen in place. Angela walked toward him. “Hello, Mark.”
“Angela! What are you doing here?”
Angela glanced around nervously. “I wanted to see you. I’ve made a mistake. Is there somewhere private that we can talk?”
He glanced at Helen. She turned away to finish filling the shelf and to hide the tears pricking the backs of her eyes.
“Angela, if you will step across to the woodworking shop, I’ll be over in a few minutes an
d we can talk in my office. I need to speak to Helen first.”
“Okay.” Angela glanced between them but went out the door.
“Don’t keep her waiting, Mark. She came a long way. Your letter convinced her to change her mind.” Helen moved farther down the counter.
“Helen, please. I want to tell you how much you have come to mean to me.”
She turned around with a bright smile frozen in place. “Your friendship has meant the world to me, too.”
“I think we both know this is more than friendship between us, Helen. I haven’t forgotten our kiss.”
Neither had she. She drew a deep breath and faced him. “I’ve had a letter from my sister asking me to come home. I’m going.”
He frowned. “When did you decide this?”
“After I read my sister’s letter. I’ve been very selfish. I didn’t realize how much my leaving hurt everyone. I need to reconcile with her and the rest of my family.”
“Then you’ll come back?”
She saw the hope in his eyes and couldn’t bear it. If he gave up his dream for her, she would always regret causing that. “Nee. Nappanee is my home. That’s where I belong.”
“What about Charlotte?”
“She is tired of having me in the house. She’ll do fine. She has friends and the church to look after her.”
“When are you leaving?”
“The soonest I can get a bus home is Saturday.”
“What about us?” he asked softly.
She sighed deeply and turned to him. “You and I will always be friends. I hope you’ll write and tell me how the business is doing and if your father is enjoying working with you.”
He stepped up to grasp her shoulders. “I thought we had something special.”
“We had a special friendship. I’m sorry if you thought it was something more. Go to Angela. You have everything you’ve dreamed of now.” She pulled away and fled out the door before she could blurt out that she loved him.
* * *
Mark watched Helen leave as a wave of sorrow nearly brought him to his knees. He should have found a way to make her stay and listen to him. He should have told her sooner how much he loved her and how much he wanted her to be a part of his life. How could she not love him in return? How could she walk away? Bereft as much now as he had been as a child, he blinked back tears.
An Unexpected Amish Romance Page 16