However, actually creating a vampire from a young child is considered a taboo act in vampire society and frowned on by mortals as well. Most vampires consider it unfair to force the life of the nightwalker on a being that may not be fully able to understand the weight of its actions. They recognize that it’s problematic—and downright uncomfortable—to be trapped inside a child’s body while the mind grows at a normal maturity rate.
The most infamous Child Vampire is Claudia from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. The young girl was picked up by vampire Louis and turned by Lestat at the ripe age of five. But in the movie retelling of Interview with the Vampire, twelve-year-old Kirsten Dunst took on the role. Yes, it would have been difficult for a younger child to play such a meaty part. But perhaps, just perhaps, the mere thought of a five-year-old feasting on blood was too horrible to make her a likable character to audiences. It would seem that both vampires and humans feel that the children of the night are borderline abominations.69
MOMMY ISSUES
Perhaps one of the many reasons vampires are oh-so-uncomfortable around Child Vamps is the rampant amount of Oedipus complexes running through the vampire community. Vamps have got a thing for their moms, there’s no denying it. So why would a member of the undead community want to bring another child into their confused and messed-up way of life, especially if they’re already completely unhinged over their own childhood?
The proof is in the blood pudding. Anne Rice’s Lestat turns his dying mother, Gabrielle, into a vampire, and after a time of happiness they eventually part, not speaking for hundreds of years. Buffy’s Spike turns his only friend, his mother, into a vampire who then turns on him in a fit of evil, calling him all sorts of names. In the film The Lost Boys, the main family is victimized by a pack of vampires all because the master wants to bring his family a new mother. Even the advertisements for the film Dracula Has Risen featured a creepy Whistler’s-Mother-from-hell-type woman claiming to be Dracula’s mom. There’s a strange and unholy connection here that possibly explains why vampires are so averse to being parents themselves.
THAT’S ONE BAD BABY: PHYSICAL IDENTIFIERS
Attire
Oh, the horror of a life spent shopping among the toddler or “little miss” sections of department stores. Can you imagine ripping through hanger after hanger of tops bedazzled with little pink bunnies, flowers, and baby chicks? It’s no wonder these kids seek revenge upon the living.
There are two distinct styles of Child Vampire attire. The first are for those who embrace the unending torture that is a life trapped inside a tot’s body and decide to dress the part. On the plus side, dressing like an adolescent is effective camouflage as well as a potent lure—the sight of an adorable lost child easily attracts potential unsuspecting victims—there’s nothing terribly suspicious about bunnies (unless you’re a vengeance demon). Children out and about at night bring out the helpful Samaritan in us all.
The second style mimics that of a preteen adult wannabe. The vamp dons adult attire in an attempt to blend in with an older crowd. This approach usually results in one of three outcomes: They stick out like a sore thumb and get unwanted legal attention; they attract possibly wanted attention from a nefarious pedophile and it ends quite gruesomely for the adult; or they’re awkwardly ignored and generally avoided. Either way, should you spot a tot wandering about alone in clothes not quite appropriate for his age group, keep a distance.
FROZEN FOREVER BABY FACE: PHYSICAL FEATURES
General
Child Vampires share the same fanged or unfanged tendencies as their makers. But most important, they seem to remain physically as young and immature as they were when they were created. They’re frozen in time, or possibly growing at a grossly stunted pace.
Skin
Because of the circumstances of their creation, these children normally take on the best possible qualities of every Gerber baby. Their chubby cheeks, glimmering eyes, and flawless, baby-soft skin all remain intact for centuries. Just as older vampires often transform into the most beautiful possible version of themselves when becoming vamps, so do Child Vamps turn into the best-looking version of a child possible.
FROM CRIBS TO CRYPTS: HABITAT
It is exceedingly difficult for vampire children to live on their own. If they’re spotted out and about driving, shopping, walking, and hunting alone, it will raise suspicion, which could mean an annoying phone call to social services, followed by home visits and possible government action. Most vampirekind, be they living within a community or outside one, chose to avoid any sort of legal issue at all costs.
So what is Hemophage iuvenus to do? Many decide to build up family units, often by siring their own Father and Mother and building their own unholy little family. Others have found humans who don’t mind taking in a vampire or two and have made a happy home leeching off their blood supply. Either way, Child Vamps should not and usually cannot live on their own. So should you meet a homeless Child Vampire, be on your highest guard. As mentioned before, it is a great taboo to create a Child Vampire; if whoever sired this creature is not around, you can go ahead and assume one of two things: one, that the vampire maker was a bloodthirsty mongrel who didn’t care who or what he fed upon, or two, that the vampire who had to jump through great social hoops for his creation has now perished, by the hand of either the vampire government or their own little creation. Either way, a missing vampire family is another red flag; you don’t want to be the replacement the little Hemophage iuvenus selects to fulfill the role of its missing family members.
Haunts
Even as Child Vampires age internally, they continue to visit the same favorite spots, including toy stores, playgrounds, late-night puppet shows, and other child-friendly arenas. For one, these are safe places where Child Vampires can feel protected and accepted. Plus child-oriented locations make easy pickings for the hunt. Not that this type of vampire has anything to worry about. Finding prey is as easy as lying down in the middle of the road. A child in distress will always draw in unsuspecting do-gooders.70
Other strange places where you may stumble upon Child Vampires are late-night schools. Just because the Child Vampire was sired at an early age doesn’t mean he would stop going to school all together. On the contrary, many Hemophage iuvenus continue their education for years and become accomplished artists, musicians, and scholars. The library isn’t a terribly social place, and a Child Vampire can easily spend countless hours there under the radar. Plus, if money isn’t an object, a well-paid private tutor rarely asks a lot of questions about maturity and family. Often the child is simply assumed to be an oddity or prodigy when he begins to truly excel.
SMARTER THAN THEY LOOK: UNSEEN ABILITIES
Some of the younger vampires have also been blessed with an assortment of telekinetic goodies. They’ve been known to read people’s thoughts and put humans in a trance; some can even project thoughts into others’ minds. It’s one of the small blessings behind becoming an undead child of the night. In fact, many of the vampires cursed with eternal childhood are selected by other vampires, or by fate or circumstances, because of these abilities. Becoming a vampire only strengthens and heightens their powers. Again, this is only for some, not all. Some kids just wind up in the wrong place at the wrong time.
BRATS AT ALL AGES: CHILD VAMPIRE BEHAVIOR
Vampire children are unnerving, creepy specimens who can turn their malevolent charm on you at a moment’s notice. Even the world outside the undead-obsessed knows this. They are an accident waiting to happen. While their bodies remain frozen at whatever age they were turned, their minds continue to mature. But no matter how many years tick by they will forever be looked upon as children, even by their so-called peers. This is enough to make Child Vampires storm clouds of unpredictable anger. Don’t engage a Child Vamp in an argument or attempt to cheer up a gloomier than average iuvenus; you’ll most likely end up with fang marks all over your legs.
WHAT TO DO IF APPROACHED
Ge
tting out of a skirmish with a Child Vampire is a difficult situation. There are so many negatives stacked against you. For one, what if you’re wrong and your pint-sized opponent is mortal? Congratulations; you’ve just beaten up a child and you’re going to jail. But even if you’re correct, if you’re spotted by an ignorant Good Samaritan passing by, you risk being interrupted, giving the Child Vamp the perfect opportunity to escape or gain the upper hand. The best thing to do when coming into contact with a tiny vampire is to stay far away at all times.
The Child Vampires’ biggest issues are their stunted height and limbs. They need to find a way to draw you into attack range. This can all easily be attained by tricking their prey into helping them carry things, assisting them from a fall, or even comforting them—who can resist a little lost child with tear-filled eyes and beautiful skin? The second you’re within arm’s length, you’ll be locked in their steel jaws.
WARNING SIGNS OF A CHILD VAMPIRE
• The child speaks in complete sentences with proper grammar.
• He often corrects you on your terrible grammar.
• Sometimes you hear the vampire in question use retired phrases such as “Golly!” or “Gee whiz!”
• He knows entirely too much about history for his apparent age.
• In turn, the subject doesn’t think you know anything about history and is often lecturing you about the past as if he wit nessed it himself.
• The child sometimes drinks hard liquor.
• He is incredibly skilled at a number of hobbies that would take mortals years to master.
• You find yourself shocked that this infant appears to be a great deal more mature and smarter than yourself.
• He “accidentally” talks about the past like he was there first-hand, and then covers it up.
• The youth doesn’t know where the local schools are.
• The subject has no friends his own age.
• He doesn’t possess a book bag or any school supplies and is tragically unaware of text talk or any other sort of child slang.
• The kid wears clothes way too expensive for his family or lifestyle.
• The child laughs scornfully at you when you attempt age-appropriate communication.
HEMOPHAGE IUVENUS: KNOWN SPECIMENS
Wild Child
An unfortunate side effect to turning a Child Vampire is his general lack of willpower combined with his smaller stature. Inject an adult-sized dose of vampire DNA into a child’s body paired with a lack of self-control, and you’ve created a single-minded eating machine. He’ll kill whatever is in his path for food; sustenance and self-satisfaction are the most important goals in his life.
Known Specimens
Lenny, The Hamiltons
Danny Glick, Salem’s Lot
Little Girl Vampire, 30 Days of Night
Young in Face, Old in Mind
A slightly less volatile group than the “Wild Child.” These vampires have ancient knowledge hidden behind their cherub cheeks and tiny smiles and often possess massive inferiority complexes as well. They’ve lived for years, some for centuries, and in that time the little buggers have become aces at manipulation and murder. Some are good, some are bad, but all of them are smarter than they look and rightly inspire fear.
Special attention should be paid to certain members of this society. Often Child Vampires are created as part of a spiritual rite that can elevate them to almost evil godlike status. Some young vampires are actually super evil reincarnations of ancient baddies, and for some reason the unholy powers find it particularly clever to have the exterior be that of unassuming youth. The cleverest Child Vampires survive for centuries thanks to the pity they can inspire in other vampires and humans alike, and they can often amass great power as they get older, rising to the upper echelons of vampire society. At this point, they must also invest in powerful bodyguards to avoid a potential mutiny.
Known Specimens
Claudia, The Vampire Chronicles
Eli, Let the Right One In
Divia, Forever Knight
Homer, Near Dark
The Anointed One (Collin), Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Charlotte, Blade: The Series
Sweet Little Things
These creatures are few and far between. This kind of Child Vampire actually acts like a child and lives a virtually stress-free existence. They don’t kill, and they don’t hurt others. This group is as close to a real child as you’re going to get for vampires. But sadly they’re not easily stomached by hardened bloodsuckers and vice versa. They’re usually represented in the media in cartoons, sitcoms, and Disney movies. They are not harmless, as they still possess two canines twitching for blood.
Known Specimens
Gabrielle, Charby the Vampirate
Shori, Fledgling
Rudolph Sackville-Bagg, The Little Vampire
Just a Kid
Sadly, in the world of baby vampires, some poor creatures never turn fully and live their in-between stages as someone’s assistant or lackey. Although they still struggle with cravings and seem torn between two worlds, they are still very much little kids and will age (very slowly) until they give in to their carnal desires for blood. But more on Halfies in Chapter 5.
Known Specimens
Laddie, The Lost Boys
Darren Shan, The Saga of Darren Shan
7
VAMPIRE TRIBES, CLANS, COVENS, AND CLUTCHES
HEMOPHAGETRIBUARIUS
Come on, be one of us.
—David, The Lost Boys
The undead path can be a lonely one. Although many vampires choose a solitary life, there are plenty who take solace with other members of their kind. But as with the many personalities of the nosferatu, the social hierarchy of a vampire clan is important to be educated about, to ensure that you always stay one step ahead of the black shadow of the vampire.
NOMADS
The first gaggle of vampires and possibly the most violent are the Nomads. This type of troupe travels from town to town raising unholy hell in their wake. They care little about who they pick off for dinner and don’t bother with playing it low-key in person. The vast sprawl of empty countrysides and small-town “keep to yourself” attitudes keep this bunch relatively safe; plus they rarely stay in the same place for very long anyway.71 That said, when it comes to vampire extermination they are usually the first to be attacked, because eventually their bold and brazen lifestyle leaves a trail for slayers. Moving from place to place doesn’t allow this gang to build up much of a resistance or defensive strategy, because all they have are the clothes on their backs and they are generally trying to evade rather than engage. Although they’re left pretty vulnerable, danger is still the way of this pack. Make it a rule of thumb to stay clear of any unruly and new faces that appear in the middle of the night in a lonely one-horse town.
HOUSEHOLD HAREMS
Some vampires mimic the Dracula way and keep a small but familial group nearby at all times. Now, the vampire definition of family doesn’t necessarily mean the Interview with the Vampire way of life that plays out like My Two Unholy Dads. The more common familial vampire representation is made up of one head-of-the-household vampire and their small but loving harem of brides and/or grooms.72 The harem’s job is first and foremost to fulfill the wishes and demands of the master; next to looking effortlessly sexy at all times, they spend the rest of the day pleasing the master (of course) or any houseguests who need entertaining. The supernatural world of the nosferatu is by far the most open and welcoming of all sexual preferences. In fact, vampire pop culture has been pushing the bill on sexual equality issues long before it was popular for werewolves and other paranormal beings to get involved in Hollywood.73
The patriarch of the group is usually the head of the household and the one who decides who lives and who dies and becomes a member of the household harem. He has the final and solemn say in just about everything the harem does, from excessive chanting (Dracula: Dead and Loving
It) to whether the family is going to begin breeding tiny hell babies (Van Helsing).
SOPHISTICATED CIRCLES
Higher up the ladder of vampire social hierarchy are the elite organizations: vampires who come from money or have wisely invested and now can live in a veritable commune with their own set of rules and regulations. Often this group’s business constitutes a large part of the human economy, and they own and operate large corporations.74 This group of vampires lives with the best of everything: clothes, homes, tools, and more. But living with these corporate-minded vampires means constant assimilation talks, plotting, and strategizing—often with little action outside the boardroom.75
VAMPIRE ELITE
The governing system of vampires includes the elders, ancients, highest of the high, and respected lawmakers and punishers of vampirekind. Most elders live separately with their peons and assistants and come together only in a time of great emergency. Still, they are the highest and most powerful among the vampire society and live in the lap of luxury and knowledge.
Depending on the bloodline, every vampire societal governing system is different. For example, in the Blade series the vampires are governed by an elite group of ancient purebloods (those born into vampirism). The class of vampire beneath them (never to have a seat at the elders’ table) are those who were sired into the vampire plane of existence, or bitten. With the number of purebloods depleting by the century, it’s no wonder there was a revolution.
Vampire Taxonomy Page 9