by Angel Hunter
She walked over to her desk and glanced at her “To Do,” “To File,” and “Almost Done” piles. Susan reached underneath the desk and pulled out a secret drawer. She reached inside, hands shaking, for the mirror she kept in there with lines of cocaine. It was only a little after nine and she was itching for a hit. She had stayed up all night working on a case and was operating on three hours of sleep. You wouldn’t be able to tell it from looking at her. Her shoulder length hair was pulled back into a neat bun, and not a hair was out of place. Her natural-looking makeup was applied to create the illusion of perfect skin, catlike eyes and soft lips. Too bad it was all an illusion.
She took a straw out of her purse as she thought about when this mess all started. It was in high school at the senior prom. Everyone was partying. Her cousin, Duvall, a known drug dealer, decided to throw an after prom party. He had the cash, the drugs and the know-how. Only a few were chosen to attend and she, being family and all, was on the top of the list.
Susan didn’t know what she was getting into. Well, maybe she did know, but she wanted to be part of the crowd, at least once. People considered her different in high school. She was always looking out for the underdog, the new kid or the one the other students rejected. Not one to be played with, people stayed away from her. She had a reputation as someone who would fight anyone, boy or girl, and win.
Her willingness to fight had to do with her upbringing. She grew up on the bad side of town, around the corner from the Ave., where the gangs, drugs and fights occurred on a daily basis. She had to watch her back on the regular. Jealousy ran rampant in her part of town. Although mocha complected at a time when light skin was in, she was shapely, and this got her a lot of unwanted attention.
She could still remember the year that she started developing. It was over summer vacation. She was going to the eighth grade. When school resumed, a group of boys, led by JB Jones, decided to harass her on a daily basis. It was getting to be irritating and uncomfortable. All week they were following her around, teasing her and pinching her on the ass. Susan made up her mind that on Friday she would get them, one way or the other. Finally the day came and the school bell rang. Now was her chance. She stood by the locker of the ringleader.
“Move,” JB barked.
“Move me.” Susan stood her ground. She was going to fight him to the end, and not fairly either. She had a pocketknife in her pocket.
Not knowing this, he pushed her out of the way. After catching her balance, Susan caught him off guard and started hitting and kicking him. He tried throwing a few punches, but her arms and legs were flying. By now, students had surrounded them. Everything happened so quickly. How or when she cut him, she couldn’t recall. The only thing she knew was that someone was pulling her off him, and from a distance she heard, “He’s bleeding, he’s bleeding.” One of the nerds she protected whispered in her ear. “Give me the knife so I can get rid of it.”
She passed it to him and he walked off.
By the time the principal arrived, the crowd had disbursed. She was questioned about the knife wound and denied having a weapon. None of the other students turned her in. They believed JB had gotten what he deserved. As a result, they were both suspended.
No one really messed with Susan after that. Most kids stayed away from her for fear that she would go off on them. Everyone except Brandon Lewis. He was impressed and curious about this fine girl with the nerve to go up against one of the school bullies.
During their senior year, he gathered the courage, waited three weeks, sat at her lunch table, made small conversation and invited her to the prom. Surprised, she told him yes. At the prom, Susan let her guard down a little and had a good time, until he made it clear he thought they were going to have sex. Brandon started feeling on her in an aggressive manner. When she told him to stop, he kept on, telling her, “This is what all the kids do after the prom.”
“Boy, I will break every bone in your hands if you don’t take them off me.”
From her tone, he knew she wasn’t playing. He put her out the car at a place called The Point and told her to walk her ass home.
Susan didn’t care, as long as she was safe. Home wasn’t where she was going. She went to the party Duvall was giving.
When she arrived, everyone appeared to be having a good time. The music was blasting, people were dancing, cigarettes and weed were being passed around. She looked around the room and spotted her cousin with his hussy of the week. He glanced up and called her over.
“What’s up cuz? Where’s your date?” He looked over her shoulder.
“I sent his ass home. He thought he was going to get some pussy tonight, but I told him it wasn’t happening here.”
Duvall laughed. “Still saving it for the one, huh?”
“Why not?” Susan got defensive.
Duvall threw his hands up. “I ain’t mad at ya. Hell, I’m proud of you, the way these girls are giving it up now.”
Susan gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You would know.”
After surveying the room and speaking to a few people, she decided to sit and observe the madness.
“Uh, uh, uh.” Her cousin’s partner Timothy sat down next to her. “Don’t you look fine tonight.”
Susan ignored him.
“So, you’re going to ignore a brother? You need to loosen up. Why be so uptight?”
“I am not uptight,” Susan protested.
“Yes, you are. Brothers be wanting to press up, but they’re afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Shall I break it down for you? Um, let me see . . . that evil look you always have, your attitude, and don’t think I ain’t hear about you stabbing that boy.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“You want to know why I’m the way I am?” She turned to face him.
“Why?”
“Because of users like you and my cousin over there.” She nodded her head in Duvall’s direction. “Look at him. He has a different girl every week.”
Timothy glanced over at Duvall. He had to hand it to him. He did have a way with the ladies. The honeys were always hanging around him, doing anything he asked, and he did mean anything.
“Wish it was you, don’t you?” Susan teased.
“Nah, I’m right where I want to be, sitting next to the finest honey in the room.”
“Yeah, right. Tell me another one.”
Suddenly, Timothy got real serious. “You think I’m playing, don’t you? Girl, I’ve been checking you out since you were fifteen, but your cousin wasn’t trying to hear it.”
Susan laughed. “What? Are you scared of him?”
“Scared? Nah, that’s my boy. I respect him. He calls you his little prize—always bragging about you, about how you’re all smart, still a virgin and about to go to college to be a lawyer and all.”
“Get out. He told you all that?” She was embarrassed and pleased.
“I even had to get permission to come over here.”
They both looked across the room. Duvall was looking their way. He held a drink in his hand, which he raised in their direction.
“What did he say?”
Mimicking Duvall, Timothy said, “What you asking me to talk to her for? She’s eighteen now. She has a mind of her own.”
“Yeah, I guess he figures there’s only so much trouble I can get into now, since I’ll be leaving soon for college.”
“You’re getting old, girl. You’re getting old.”
“Well, hell, you must be an old man. You’re what, five years older than me?”
Laughing, Timothy pulled a dollar bill out of his pocket and unfolded it. Inside there was white powder. Susan wasn’t dumb. She knew cocaine when she saw it.
She also knew she should get up and leave him alone, but she was enjoying his company.
“I’ll be back,” Timothy announced.
“Where you going?” she wanted to know.
“To the bathr
oom.”
“Why?” She waved her hand around the room. “Everybody else is doing it in the open. How do you know I don’t want to try it?”
Timothy started folding the bill. “So your cousin can kill both of us?”
“I’m eighteen, remember?”
“I don’t know.” Everything in him was telling him no. He put the bill in his pocket.
“If I don’t try it with you, I’ll try it with someone else.” Susan placed her hand on her hip to let him know she was serious.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“As a heart attack.”
Timothy looked to see if Duvall was still watching them.
Knowing what he was doing, Susan stood up and told him, “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“To my car.”
He followed her to the car. After making themselves comfortable, he pulled the bill out along with a straw and made some lines on the dashboard. “I don’t know why I’m showing you this.” He placed the straw on the first line and snorted it up his nose then passed the bill to her.
She copied what he’d done and immediately started rubbing her nose. “Oh my God,” she said, putting her hand up to her chest.
“Are you okay?”
“That shit burns and my heart is racing.”
“That’ll happen the first time. Just relax.”
They sat in the car for over an hour, getting high and getting acquainted. It was the beginning of their friendship/relationship.
Now here she sat, over ten years later, still doing her thing. She had quit a number of times only to resume the habit. Only a few people knew about this extracurricular activity, but they were professionals as well, and stood to lose just as much as she did.
She looked at her watch and took one more hit. She replaced her stash in its secret hiding place, grabbed some tissue and wiped her nose. She them pulled some files from her “To Do” pile and pressed the intercom button, telling Jewell, “Please let everyone know I’m ready to meet.”
JEWELL
After she released the intercom button, Jewell turned her radio down a notch. They’d already gotten on her about playing it too loud. Shit, it was better than the elevator music they wanted to play. “This is a black law firm people, so let’s act like it,” Jewell wanted to say.
Another day, another dollar, but was it worth the aggravation? Some days, Jewell despised coming to this place. The days seemed endless. Watching the clock didn’t help because each time she looked at it, only minutes had passed. It wasn’t that her job was stressful or anything. Heck, she could deal with Crystal, because as long as her work was done in a timely manner, it was all good. Elsie was patient, always willing to answer questions if she didn’t understand anything. But Susan, she was one female who was hard to get along with. Not a day went by when Jewell didn’t want to curse her out and say, “Do it your damn self!”
The reason she allowed Susan to affect her this way was because she reminded Jewel of her mother. Her moms was always judging her. Nothing was ever good enough—her grades, her chores or her clothes. Her mom would yell things like, “You’ll never amount to anything. All you’re going to do is have babies and be on welfare like your no-good, whoring friends.”
Unable to take the verbal abuse any longer, Jewell moved out at the age of sixteen to live with her nineteen-year-old boyfriend, King. As predicted, she got pregnant, but she stayed in school. Eventually they broke up and she had to apply for welfare. Being smart, she used it for a free education and became a nurse’s aid.
It wasn’t long before she realized that wiping somebody’s ass with her fifty-dollar nail tips on wasn’t the move. After doing some research and talking with her social worker, Jewell decided to take some computer classes, become a secretary during the day and go to paralegal school at night. When she saw the position advertised at Gem, Carlson, and Shaw, she decided “what the heck” and applied.
Just because Jewell complained occasionally and watched the clock didn’t mean she hated her job. She didn’t. She was given the opportunity to learn hands-on, and not only did they pay her well, she received great medical benefits. No more Medicaid and going to the walk-in clinic with her son. She received one week paid vacation, had sick time and personal days. For the first time in Jewell’s life, she felt worthy. She knew she had made the right decision.
School was going well. As a matter of fact, it was easier than she thought. She had convinced herself before starting that she was in above her head. She wasn’t sure if she could handle the pressure of school, work, and parenting, but found she was able. Her son’s father helped out, and she had an excellent babysitter. Actually, she would be using the babysitter tonight.
Jewell was going on a blind date set up by her best friend. A blind date was better than none. She hadn’t been on one in a long time. She was looking forward to it. Therefore, this was one day she would not let Susan’s stank attitude affect her.
Jewell took the gum out of her mouth, put it in some tissue, and threw it in the garbage can under her desk. She stood up, pulled down the hem of her mini-skirt, and went to make coffee in the conference room. They would be coming in any minute, and she didn’t want any complaints. After she grabbed her Dictaphone and note pad, she started her day.
As Jewell placed the coffee cups, cream, sugar and Sweet and Low on the table, she recalled her interview for the position. Crystal, Susan, and Elsie interviewed her as a group, and she was nervous as hell. She sat with her hands crossed on her lap. Her legs shook and her voice quivered when answering questions. She could tell from the expression on Susan’s face that she didn’t want to hire her.
“Excuse me. I have to go to the ladies’ room,” she told them. What she needed to do was go in, throw some water on her face, and regroup. Before she stepped back into the room, she heard someone say her name. She stood near the door to listen to what was being said.
The first voice she heard was Susan’s. “Simply put, I think she’s ghetto. Look at what she’s wearing. You do not come dressed for an interview like that. Her weave needs to be touched up, and her shoes are for the clubs, not for an office.”
Jewell wanted to bust the door down, tell Susan to take a good look because her hair wasn’t a weave, then she would knock her in the mouth. Instead she forced herself to wait and see what everyone said.
“That’s true, but maybe she just doesn’t know any better. She’s young,” Elsie said.
“That’s not good enough,” was Susan’s reply.
Jewell looked down at her clothes. She didn’t find anything wrong with her outfit. She wore black slacks and a body suit. Okay, maybe it was a little too tight, but damn, they were all women. On her feet were stiletto shoes, her best pair. Instead of beating Susan’s ass, Jewell decided to leave, until she realized she couldn’t because her Gucci knockoff was in the conference room.
“I think we should give her a chance,” Jewell heard Crystal say. “Let’s just finish interviewing her and see how it goes. Yes, she’s a little rough around the edges, but it’s obvious she’s smart.”
“I agree with Crystal,” Elsie said.
“Well, if we hire her and she fucks up, it’s on your heads,” Susan let them know.
This was Jewell’s cue to enter. The second she turned the knob, all conversation ceased.
Because Jewell knew that Crystal and Elsie had her back, she calmed down and handled the rest of the interview like a pro. When it was over, Jewell went into the ladies’ room and stood in front of the mirror, wiping her eyes. She cried tears of relief. This was her first real interview, the one that she believed would make or break her spirits, and she knew she did a hell of a job.
Elsie walked in and asked if she was okay.
Might as well be honest, Jewell thought. What do I have to lose? “I’m just nervous. I really need this job.”
“Are you interviewing anyplace else?” Elsie wanted to know.
“I am, but this woul
d be so ideal. It’s close to my son’s school, and like I said in the interview, I’m going to school to become a paralegal. I’ve been on my own since I was sixteen, and that alone should show you that I’m smart and able to work well under pressure.” Jewell was all set to plead her case.
Elsie put her hands up and said, “Listen, I have to get back to the group. Whether we hire you or not, I’m going to give you a couple of pieces of advice. Don’t get offended, okay? I’m talking to you one sister to another.”
“I won’t get offended,” Jewell assured her. She would appreciate whatever she was about to be told, because Jewell was on a mission to better herself.
“Well, for one, you need to dress more professionally. The bodysuit has to go. Actually a simple blouse and a skirt, pants if that’s your preference, would be better. Simple shoes, not stilettos, are more appropriate in a professional workplace. And when you walked through the door, you were chewing gum. Throw it out before you enter the building. Also make sure your hair is neat. Pull it back if you have to.” Elsie grew quiet and waited for the blowup.
It didn’t come, because Jewell wasn’t upset. She appreciated the advice that was given. “Thanks.”
Two days later, Jewell received a call from Elsie. “We’d like to offer you the position.”
Of course, she accepted. That was over six months ago. She planned on staying with them for years to come.
ELSIE
Elsie leaned back in the reclining chair behind her oak desk. An arrangement of flowers sat in the corner, soft jazz played in the background, low enough to create a relaxed atmosphere. She was on the phone talking to her lover and playing checkers on the computer when Jewell buzzed and informed her that the meeting would be starting shortly.
“I have to get a haircut after work and then I’ll be by.” Elsie ran her left hand over her close-cropped bronze-colored cut, which accentuated her cheekbones and made her light brown eyes even more noticeable. She was striking, not only because of her looks, but because she stood over six feet tall. She was slender and comfortable in her body.