by KP, Miss
“Oooh Papi’ you make me feel so good, te hago sentir bien?”
“Yes, Mami you make me feel good, too. Papi’ loves this Puerto Rican punani!”
“Quiero sentir que todos ustedes.”
I had no idea what the fuck she was sayin’, but it sounded good. “Baby, I’m gonna make sure you feel all of me, turn over.”
When Jade followed my orders, I started to make love to her in my favorite position…doggy style. She felt so good as I grabbed her waist and pushed deep inside of her, long strokin’ of course. When it felt like I was about to cum, I pulled out, and bust all over her pretty tanned ass. I would’ve loved to stay in her warm pussy, but I was done wit’ being a father.
“Damn girl,” I said as I fell back on the bed.
No matter how good Jade made me feel, she would never be Lisa. Despite all the drama between Lisa and I, we still had history and children together. We shared somethin’ that just couldn’t be replaced. No woman could fill those shoes right now. However, there was somethin’ about Jade that was different though, and I liked it. Jade was nasty and adventurous in the bedroom, not like that borin’-ass sex wit’ Lisa. She was a down ass chick like Marisol who knew how to stay in her place when it came to my business and that was a plus.
I wondered why Jade said that she should’ve listened to Marisol and not dealt wit’ me. Didn’t she know that once she got a taste of this dick it was gonna be hard to let go? All I could think of was the fact that Marisol and Lisa were so close. If Lisa knew that Marisol and my new side chick were friends, she would cut Marisol off completely. I really wasn’t sure what state my marriage was in, but I still loved Lisa. I just wasn’t sure if we had outgrown each other or maybe it was just too much pain in our relationship that it no longer could survive on love and history.
When I opened my eyes and reality set in, I moved Jade off of me. I had to call Carlos to have him go back to D.C. to see what was up wit’ Juan. It was no way I could leave after all I had to do on my end to get business goin’. Not to mention, I just didn’t want to leave Jade yet. I picked up my cell phone and hit the speed dial for my cousin’s number.
“What’s up, Los I need you to do me a favor?” I asked.
“Sure, what’s going on?”
“Juan got locked up last night and I need you to go see what’s goin’ on. I can’t leave right now.”
“What? What happened?”
“I don’t know all the details yet. Couldn’t get all the details out of Lisa.”
“Alright, man. I’ll see what type of flight I can get out.”
“In the meantime, I’m gonna make a couple of phone calls to see what I can find out.”
“Cool, just keep me posted, and I’ll call you when I get there,” Carlos replied.
“Thanks, Los. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“I got you, man.”
If it was one nigga who was in my corner, it was Carlos. Ever since we were young, he always had my back. There was no betrayal between us, no lies, just pure loyalty. To show my appreciation, I always tried to hook him up wit’ doe, but he would never take it. Even after the hit on Mike, I tried to give him and Rico twenty gee’s a piece as a way of sayin’, “Thank You.” Rico took his share, but Carlos didn’t. To me, that was a nigga who was down.
When I hung up wit’ Carlos, my next call was to Denie. However, after callin’ her cell phone twice and not gettin’ an answer, I left her a message.
“Baby Girl, it’s your father. Call me back and let me know what happened wit’ your brother. Carlos is gonna come see what’s goin’ on in my absence. I need to know what happened ASAP, so please call me back.”
Next, I called Lisa back to try and get some answers. I had to call at least four times before she finally decided to answer.
“What?” she yelled.
“What happened to Juan, Lisa?”
“Oh, so you care now? You didn’t seem to care earlier when that bitch was around.”
“Lisa, can you please put your personal feelings to the side for a moment, and just tell me what the fuck happened wit’ my son. What time did all this shit go down?”
“I don’t know all the details because when Juan called, he could only talk to me for a quick second. All he said was that he was leaving the club upset about some shit that went down then the next thing he knew the police had pulled him over for swerving the car. I guess they suspected that he’d been drinking and driving.”
“Shit. I told that nigga about bein’ sloppy! Have you tried to go see him yet?”
“Yeah, but the police wouldn’t let me. They’re obviously being petty because I waited around for at least three hours before I came back home. Now, I’m just sitting around waiting for Juan to call back.”
“D.C. cops are the fuckin’ worst. Where’s Denie?”
“I don’t know. She wasn’t allowed back in my house last night, and right now my concern is getting Juan out of jail. It’s obvious I’m all he’s got.”
“What the fuck do you mean, she wasn’t allowed back in your house and you don’t know where she is?”
“I didn’t stutter. She disrespected me last night, so I told her to get out.”
I was enraged. “What? Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am. Oh, and this isn’t the first time. I put her out about a month ago, too.”
“Who would do somethin’ like that? What kind of fuckin’ mother are you?”
“The kind who’s tired of her daughter’s shit. But don’t worry, I let her come back home the very next day the last time this happened. I didn’t even take her keys. I had plans on letting her come back this morning too, but I haven’t heard from her.”
“You’re the one who needs to be out on the street, not her!” I yelled.
“Whatever Rich. Every time she disrespects me , I’m gonna put her ass out again. Denie is gonna learn sooner or later to stop fucking with me.
“I can’t believe this. You need to find my daughter Lisa! What about school? Today is Monday.”
“Hold up, so now that your grown-ass daughter is out running the street you wanna get all hype? You didn’t act like this when I told you about your son!”
“Man, go ahead wit’ that shit, Lisa. You don’t understand. It’s different wit’ them,” I responded. “Hell, she’s only seventeen.”
“You’re right, I don’t understand. This shit is nothing new. That girl has been out of control since you got locked up a few years ago. Both of y’all need to see each other for what you truly are. You know what Rich, you’re a sorry-ass excuse for a father.”
I hung up on Lisa after that comment. I wasn’t racin’ to the other side of the country when I had to get this bread, especially when I told Juan to keep shit out of his car. It was money that needed to be made and I wasn’t lettin’ anything stop me for takin’ over the West Coast.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Lisa
After countless hours of sitting in the family room in silence by the phone, Juan finally called.
You have a collect call from JUAN. To accept charges dial one.
I pressed one so many times that I didn’t let the rest of the recording play.
“Juan, baby are you okay? What happened?”
“Ma, just like the last time, I can’t talk long. I need you to come up here. I don’t want to say much over the phone.”
“What are your charges?”
“Possession of a fire arm, and a controlled substance. Where’s Denie?”
“She hasn’t come home yet. Oh my gosh Juan, what the hell happened?”
“When you come see me, I’ll tell you everything. Find your daughter in the meantime.”
“Juan, tell me what’s going on,” I pleaded. Suddenly, I began to cry.
“Ma, just get over here as soon as you can. I gotta get off the phone. I got a visit this afternoon, so come up here. I love you Ma, and stop crying I’ll be alright.”
“I love you, too, son!”
I
hung up the phone and really cried like a baby. This was the day I never wanted to see happen. The day I constantly warned my son about. I jumped up and slipped on the first Twisted Heart sweatsuit that I could find, and my black snaked skin Uggs and jumped in my car. I cried so much and couldn’t get myself together. This is when I needed Rich most. I headed on I-295 to southeast toward the D.C. jail so I could see what was going on with my son.
I pulled into the parking lot and instantly flashed back to the last time I was there visiting Rich. The line was so long, I just wanted to cut and get to Juan as soon as possible, especially since this was the last visit of the day. I knew he needed me. Once I was checked in at the window it was time for me to go through security. The same security was there from back when Rich was locked up, which proved either they loved their job or just couldn’t find another company to hire them. I hated the female security officers. They went out of their way to make it difficult for me every damn time.
“You can’t come in here with sweatpants on, Mrs. Sanchez, you should know that. Next in line please,” one overweight officer stated. I couldn’t believe she remembered me.
“I need to see my son, can you please let me through?”
You need to find some pants or something. I gotta process this entire line and visits are over in thirty minutes. If I let you in then I gotta let everybody else in here with tight pants on. You already know what you’re not supposed to wear. Now, move out my line.”
Needing to see Juan, I ran back to my truck and found a pair of jeans I’d bought Rich but never gave him and changed right outside. Even though the jeans were a size thirty-six and I wore a size twenty-eight, I didn’t care. Slipping the jeans over my sweatpants, I folded them over in the waist three times, then finally ran back through the parking lot. Finally, they let me in fifteen minutes before the visits were over. I’d learned years ago not to argue with the officers after being escorted out several times before. Now, I just sucked it up when they were complete assholes.
I tried my best to ignore the smart comments that were said behind my back, and continued toward the elevator; an elevator that smelled like fuck and urine. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. With only twelve minutes left, I prayed Juan came out as soon as possible, so we would have a little bit of time to spend with each other. Babies were crying, young girls were arguing with their boyfriends, and the guards were staring at me like I was the criminal. It was the same scene as when I visited Rich years ago, nothing had changed. After waiting for five excruciating minutes, Juan finally came out. The orange jumpsuit he wore immediately made me think of Rich and his incarcerated days, which destroyed me. History was definitely repeating itself. Walking up toward the glass, I cried as Juan picked up the phone.
“Ma, don’t cry. I’m alright,” he said.
“What happened?”
“Well, I went past that club right off New York Avenue last night, to meet a buddy of mine. That’s when I saw Denie arguing with this dude outside the club. He was pulling on her like he owned her or some shit, so I just reacted. I didn’t know what was going on, so I pulled out my gun and told the dude to give me a reason to kill him and to get the fuck off my sister.”
“I can’t believe this. What happened after that?”I inquired.
“Denie started taking up for the nigga. I was so mad because first of all she’s too damn young to be at the club, and the dude she taking up for is a street nigga. Anyway, I pulled off so I wouldn’t get caught up. I was trying to put the gun under my seat when the police pulled me over, and said I was swerving.”
“So, were you?”
“I had a few drinks, but nothing major. I blew a .11 and the police decided to search the car. I’d just made a move, so they found 500 grams of heroine and a gun.”
“Juan! My goodness, how much time are you looking at?”
“I don’t know yet. Need to talk to a lawyer, but the worst is twenty to life. Shit ain’t looking good though, cause I’ve had gun charges before.”
My tears continued to flow. The thought of my son not in my life had never been an option for me. I would do anything to make this all go away.
“Why did you have drugs in your car anyway? You know better than that? Besides, you know Rich is gonna be curious about what kind it was.”
“Well, I can’t go into all that right now, but let’s just say, I didn’t have plans to work for him forever. Why do you think I kept telling you to leave him and that I would take care of you?”
“Oh my God this is too much. I wondered why I haven’t heard from your sister. I’m sure she knows what the hell is going on,” I said. “This shit it all her fault.”
“She’s probably too scared to come home. She might even still be with that nigga.”
“Visits are now over. I repeat visits are now over!” a fat female officer yelled.
It seemed like I’d just gotten there. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna get you out of here. Carlos is on his way from L.A. to help me figure all this out.”
Juan nodded his head. “What about Rich?”
“It’s a long story.” At that moment, the fat officer gave me an evil look, so I stood up. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too Ma, and stop crying.”
I hung up the phone and quickly made my way back outside to my truck. Even though it may have seemed like I was rushing, I wasn’t. I was in no rush to drive to my big, lonely house. With Juan not around, I had no idea what I was going to do. On my way home, I called around trying to find Denie, but I still had no luck. Now, that she’d been missing for some time, I was really worried about her. While my life was in shambles, Rich was in L.A. fucking around. Shit like this was starting to make me hate his ass even more.
When I walked in the house, thirty minutes later, I decided to take a couple of pills and get some rest. Once the pills were in effect, I slept for a while, but was soon awakened by the phone. I jumped up thinking it was Juan or Denie, but it was Carlos. He let me know that he had just landed and would be at my house in less than an hour. When thoughts of Juan started to overload my mind again, I went downstairs to the kitchen to make some tea. How did my life end up this way? I thought. My son was in jail, my daughter was nowhere to be found, and my so called husband was more interested in pussy and money than making sure his family was straight.
Since I couldn’t fall back asleep, I stayed in the kitchen to wait for Carlos. I resented Carlos’ ass, too. Mostly because I felt he was the cause of Rich’s hanging out and the bulk of our problems. Back in the day, he would always pull Rich away from his family to handle business and I hated it. The way I saw it, Carlos needed to focus on his kids and the Bonnie and Clyde relationship with his own wife instead of the streets sometimes. Marisol was such a good person and I loved her dearly, so I always believed he didn’t deserve her. Now, she was caught up. Not only with the drugs, but Carlos also had her involved in the business. She went on more moves than he did sometimes. Rich let it be known a long time ago, he never wanted me to be a part of what he did outside in the streets. Marisol’s reason for being involved she once told me, was because she wanted to keep close tabs on her husband. What she failed to realize was that, when a man wanted to step out on his wife, he would definitely make a way. I lived it every day, so I knew.
All of these things were in my mind when Carlos walked in from the garage. When we made eye contact, he could see the anger written all over my face. If I couldn’t talk to Rich, Carlos was going to get the blunt of it all.
“What’s up, Lisa?”
“My son is in jail and my daughter is nowhere to be found, that’s what’s up.” My tone was dry.
“Where’s Denie? What you mean she’s nowhere to be found, what happened? Rich didn’t mention that part.”
“All you and Rich care about is Denie. You don’t give a shit about Juan!”
“That’s not true. I wouldn’t have flown all the way out here if I didn’t care about Juan. Now, tell me what’s going on.”
<
br /> I told Carlos all that I knew and he started out the door as soon as I was done. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” I asked.
“To see what I can find out.”
I still needed to vent. “I still can’t believe Rich sent you instead. He ain’t shit and neither are you. It’s you and your father’s fault why Rich is the way he is.”
Carlos chuckled. “You’re crazy if you believe that shit. Rich is his own man, Lisa.”
“Every time you used to call back in the day, Rich would come running.Y’all played on his weakness. You and your father introduced him to the life and created a monster!”
“Man I don’t have to listen to this bullshit. My focus is Juan right now.”
“Oh no, you’re gonna listen. I’m tired of this shit. Do you realize your family fucked up my home? I’ve always hated you for that. Now look, my son is turning out to be just like y’all.” It felt good to vent.
“Lisa, how are you gonna blame me and my father for you and Rich’s problems? It’s not my fault. He’s a grown ass man.”
“It is your fault! Just because you and your coke sniffing ass wife thinks that the drug game is cool, I’m suppose to just accept this shit.”
“Now, you’re being disrespectful! This drug money you hate so much put those diamonds in your ears and this roof over your head. I ain’t hear you complain when you got that X6. Don’t be a hypocrite.”
“Fuck you!”
“Whatever, I’m gone,” Carlos replied.
“Oh, hell no, you think it’s that easy? You think you can just walk the fuck away from me while I’m talking. You’re going to fuckin’ listen to what I’ve got to say!” I yelled as Carlos tried to leave. Grabbing the door before it closed, I balled up my fists and began hitting Carlos in his back. I yelled and screamed and hollered at him until I found myself hyperventilating. He tried to restrain me while I cried uncontrollably. I couldn’t even catch my breath.
“Lisa, are you okay?” Carlos ran to get me some water out of the refrigerator. “Damn, I’m sorry. Here, drink this water,” he said, handing me a Smart Water bottle.