GreekQuest

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GreekQuest Page 7

by Herbie Brennan


  Wow, that’s really nice of her. The sword is so sharp it strikes with +5. Now after you’ve thanked her politely you have the choice of getting on with this adventure at 130 or, since you now know where you are at least, taking a minute to pick up a little background about Sparta from your Brief Guide To Ancient Greece at 150.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  101

  You flash your safe conduct at the guards on the largest tent in the encampment and are ushered in to the presence of a muscular grey-haired man. This must be King Menelaus, Helen’s husband, who started the war when Paris nicked his wife. He looks you up and down, frowning thoughtfully. “You aren’t the youngster working for Zeus by any chance?” he asks.

  “Yes, I am,” you nod.

  The king stands up. “Good. So you can tell me how to shorten this war. What I want to know is if I should fight that villain Paris in single combat or try some other tactic. What do you think?”

  Interesting question. If you think he should fight Paris go to 129. If you think he should try something else, turn to 108.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  102

  “Good decision,” murmurs Zeus as the golden chamber shimmers all around you and your vision, momentarily, fades to black. From somewhere far away you hear him add, “Hope you can find your way to the sacred grove.”

  With which he teleports you directly to 58.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  103

  Dappled sunlight. You’re in a clearing in the woods. But wait - there’s a bearded character with a bluish cloak over his linen tunic. He’s seated beside a most diverse array of goods spread out on a ground sheet.

  “Hey you!” he calls. “Need something? Anything? Come and see what I’ve got for sale!”

  You walk across and examine the merchandise.

  “Hellespont mackerel,” he tells you proudly. “And lots of other fish if you’re feeling fishy. Thessaly puddings here if you like Thessally puddings. And prime ribs of beef.”

  Since you’re not hungry at the moment you ask, “What are you doing selling stuff here?”

  “It’s my job,” he says. “You sound like a barbarian, so I’ll fill you in. I’m from Athens and we’ve got four social classes. There’s the pentakosiomedimnoi - they’re the nobs. Then there’s the hippeis, who’ve enough cash to buy a horse. After that you’ve got the zeugitai, who’ve at least got a plough and two oxen and finally there’s the thetes - they’re the poorest landowners.”

  “And which are you?”

  “None of them,” he says. “I’m a metoikoi. That makes me lower than a thetes. Actually it makes me even lower than a woman, which is saying something. A metoikoi is a Greek from another city state who’s currently living in Athens. Since we’re not allowed to own land and we don’t have the vote and aren’t thought of as citizens, we usually become merchants, which is what I did.”

  His range of goods is extraordinary. As well as the food, he shows you sails, rigging and papyrus from Egypt, ivory from Africa, raisins from Rhodes, carpets from Carthage, spices, ceramics and much, much more.

  You can buy anything you want from the items mentioned at a nominal sum of three obols each since he’s taken a liking to you. After that, the paths out of here lead north west to 156, north east to 112, or south east to 99.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  104

  “An excellent choice!” exclaims King Menelaus. “I was thinking of making a huge wooden horse, filling it with men and leaving it outside the walls of Troy while the rest of us pretend to retreat. Paris is so thick he’ll think it’s a gift and take it inside. When he does, our men will jump from the horse and open the gates for the rest of us. What do you think?”

  If you like the notion, go to 160. If you think it’s the dumbest idea you’ve ever heard in your life, you can tell him so at 73.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  105

  This place is open to the sky like a Roman amphitheatre, and even has a few tiers of seats for spectators. But even so it’s clearly not a place of entertainment. What it looks like is a military training ground. The good news (especially if you’re feeling a bit below par) is that there’s a character selling ointments, liniments and patent medicines from a tray.

  “Free to soldiers and athletes!” he calls as you approach.

  Here’s an interesting situation. Ointment costs an obol per jar, liniment is the same. Both restore a die roll of Life Points. The medicines are a drachma per bottle and restore a double dice roll of Life Points. All of which may be academic if you don’t have any cash. If you do, buy what you can afford, then get back to 61 to pick another destination. If you don’t, there’s nothing to stop you returning to 61 empty-handed, but since the healing is free to soldiers and athletes, you might like to try your luck down below on the training ground at 141.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  106

  “That’s all very well,” you say haughtily, “but you’d better make an exception in my case since Zeus sent me.”

  “Why didn’t you say!” exclaims the priest. “Follow me!”

  With which he leads you to 82.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  107

  Dappled sunlight. You’re in a clearing in the woods.

  Paths lead north to 87, north east to 93, and south east to 78.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  108

  “You’re right!” roars Menelaus. “This confirms exactly what I thought. As far as I can see, our options are all-out attack, strategic retreat or some cunning ploy. What do you favour?”

  Another good question. All out attack takes you to 119. Strategic retreat is at 113. But if you can think of some cunning ploy that might do the trick, turn to 104.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  109

  The first day of the two-day run to Athens proves uneventful and you’ve lots of time to admire the scenery. The country is amazingly picturesque in a rocky, mountainy sort of way, and while the soil doesn’t look all that wonderful, the slave farmers manage to grow oranges, olives, dates, pomegranates, figs and even cotton.

  In the wilder areas, you get to admire tulips, hyacinths, and laurel which seem to have come up without any help from anybody.

  Although Pheidippides wants to keep going, you insist on taking a short rest in the heat of the afternoon. Pheidippides has gone off to find a stream to refill your water skins and you’ve just settled down gratefully in the shade of a tree when you hear a peculiar snuffling sound. You look round to discover a large black boar is watching you with beady brown eyes.

  You start to scramble to your feet. “Nice boar,” you say soothingly. “Pretty piggy.”

  The boar charges.

  This bad tempered animal has only 20 Life Points, but it will automatically get in the first strike and it has tusks that will do you +5 damage. If this little hassle kills you, go to 13.

  If you survive, you should know that roast wild boar not only tastes delicious, but is low in fat and if cooked in oil pressed from olives, high in polyunsaturates, so each meal will restore a double dice roll of Life Points. Roll one die three times to determine how many meals you can make from the meat, but divide your answer by two since half of it will have to go to Pheidippides.

  If you’re a vegetarian, you can ignore the above, but either way you should turn to 7 should you survive the boar.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  110

  You shift sideways sharply before this old geek gets violent and begin to circle the ring of cliffs to find a way out. There isn’
t one. Which is absolutely and utterly impossible since you ran in here, but the way things are nonetheless. As you complete the circle, you realise the old geek is grinning at you inanely.

  Grin back while you make your mind up what to do. Which really comes down to humouring him at 159 or taking him seriously at 55.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  111

  “Don’t be silly!” you tell him severely. “I’ve no quarrel with you!”

  “Sissy!” shouts someone in the crowd around you.

  “Cow herd!” shouts another.

  “Litratute! Staterquet! Rumblebottom!” the rest of the crowd takes up in a chant.

  All of which is the first subtle hint you’re about to be stripped of your new job due to cowardice and sent, ignominiously, to 61 to select another destination.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  112

  Dappled sunlight. You’re in a clearing in the woods.

  Paths lead east to 135 and south west to 103.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  113

  “An excellent choice!” exclaims King Menelaus. “You can lead the retreat!”

  Which, since you have no option, you do and are killed by the first arrow fired by Paris’s pursuing warriors.

  Pull the arrow out and go to 13.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  114

  A huge man picking his nails with a short sword is lounging at the entrance to this building. He watches you approach, then steps out to bar your way.

  “Anybody who wants to get in here has to answer some questions,” he growls. “And before you get any ideas about fighting your way through like most Spartans do, I have eleven brothers within earshot, all as big and as ugly as me and armed to the teeth. Harm one hair of my slightly balding head and they’ll fall on you like Mount Olympus.”

  “What’s your question?” you ask hurriedly.

  “My question is this,” says the huge man. “Were Hera’s Mum and Dad Hellenes, Olympians or Titans?”

  You look at him blankly, your brain working nineteen to the dozen.

  It’s make your mind up time. If you think the answer’s Hellenes go to 66. If it’s Olympians, try 127 . If you plump for Titans, turn to 91. If you haven’t a clue, the best (indeed the only) thing you can do is return to 61 and select another destination from your map.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  115

  “I’d go for Aphrodite,” you whisper. “You might make a great marriage with the most beautiful woman in the world and even if you don’t, you’ll be the envy of the boys down the pool hall.”

  The two other goddesses look dumbfounded when Paris announces his decision, but Aphrodite only makes with a mysterious smile and says, “Obvious choice. Now off you go to collect your reward.” She waves a casual hand and Paris disappears in a small, but powerful whirlwind.

  Aphrodite turns to you. “Here’s your Judgement of Paris Certificate,” she says. “To mark the fact you’ve given good advice.”

  With which, rather to your surprise, all three goddesses stroll off hand in hand.

  Leaving you with no option but to retrace your steps west to 153.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  116

  Convinced the dark shape is no crocodile, you remove your clothes as swiftly and completely as a Spartan and -

  Look here, are you sure about this? I mean, you’re seriously about to leap naked into a pool with a dark shape in it? If you must go ahead with this madness, you can jump in the pool at 138. Otherwise, the paths leading out of this place go north to 93, east to 58, south east to 18, south to 67 and north west to 107.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  117

  “All right,” you mutter crossly, “but I’m doing this under protest.” A ring of young men has formed around you both and you notice the paidonomos has drawn his sword. “Here,” you protest, “we’re not using weapons are we?”

  “In Sparta, fights are to the death,” he tells you sternly.

  How did you get yourself into this mess? The paidonomos has 60 Life Points and is so skilled he actually adds +3 to any sword he uses and the one he’s using now is already +5, giving him a successful strike of +8. If he kills you, go to 13. If you survive, you can lick your wounds (a filthy habit) at 38.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  118

  “Modesty forbids it!” you exclaim.

  “Modesty?” echoes the priest. “You’re in Ancient Greece! We’re always running about with no clothes on here! Good grief, every athlete in the entire Olympic Games is starkers! Won’t you reconsider?”

  Well, will you? If you reconsider your decision, you can denude yourself at 11. But if you’d prefer to stick to your guns (and your underwear) turn to 149.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  119

  “An excellent choice!” exclaims King Menelaus. “You can lead the charge!”

  Which, since you have no option, you do and are killed by the first arrow fired from one of those high towers for which Troy was famous.

  Pull the arrow out and go to 13.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  120

  Cautiously you take up the bawling brat who promptly does something runny and obscene down the front of your tunic.

  “Doh!” you gasp as you try to clean it off with one hand and a hanky while clutching the baby with the other. All you do is spread the stain. “Why can’t you wear a nappy like any normal baby?” you ask furiously.

  The baby doesn’t bother to reply.

  You tuck it under one arm and begin to make your way down the hill, your nose wrinkling against the smell. You’ve gone no more than a few hundred yards when two young men with swords step out from behind a rock.

  They look at you suspiciously. “What are you doing with that baby?” one of them asks you.

  “I found it further up the hill,” you tell him. “Looked like it had been abandoned there.”

  “Then why didn’t you leave it where you found it?” asks the other one grumpily.

  “Leave it?” you echo, horrified. “Leave an abandoned baby?”

  “Look, friend, this is Sparta. Weak babies get abandoned all the time. Usually by their mothers. Helps make sure we stay tough as a people.”

  “You mean they’re just left there?” you gasp.

  “Of course they’re just left there! How long do you think Sparta would stay strong if interfering do-gooder busybodies like you kept coming along and rescuing the abandoned babies? Before you know it we’d be losing to the Athenians. Now you just go back and dump that baby where you found it, that’s a good barbarian, and we’ll say nothing more about -”

  “Here, wait a minute,” his companion cuts in. “That’s not an abandoned baby - that’s young Heracles. Toughest little wriggler in the city state. I bet he crawled up the hill himself!”

  You look at the youngster underneath your arm. “But this baby’s only a few weeks old!” you protest.

  “We breed them tough in Sparta,” the man grins. “Better get him back to his Mum - she’ll be worried about him. Just take him down to the tree line. You’ll find her somewhere around teaching her boys commando warfare.”

  “Or we can take him down for you, if you like,” offers the other man. “Whichever you prefer.”

  You can take the baby back to his mother personally at 100. Or you can hand him over to this kindly stranger now and be on your merry way without any further delays (or responsibilities) at 130.

  Please select an option from the previous pag
e.

  121

  “And we’ll fight for him since he’s a bit tired,” volunteer two brawny young men on the edge of the crowd.

  Pheidippides starts to protest, but faints dead away from the effort.

  Leaving you to face two Spartans with 40 Life Points each, swords that hit at +3 each, and a grim determination to put you away so they can become joins paidonomoses in your place. If this somewhat unexpected encounter kills you, go to 13. If you survive it, the crowd will strip you of your title on account of your bad behaviour to a famous (but now fainted) athlete and send you off to 61 to pick another destination from your map.

 

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