by Neil LaBute
DARRELL (turning finally)
—uh-huh. Nice.
SHARI
And my ass? (laughs) ’S all right?
DARRELL
You look good.
SHARI
Then okay. So, better get out to the—
RICH enters through the kitchen, looking a bit flustered.
RICH
—fucking parking, huh?
SHARI
Yeah.
RICH
Need to get on the road, Shari, we want a shot at not walking for, like, six miles.
SHARI
I’m ready—
RICH
Good. Let’s roll—
SHARI
’Kay.
RICH
Darrell. (BEAT) Darrell!
DARRELL
Yeah.
RICH
Answer a person, they fucking try to communicate with ya.
DARRELL
Sorry.
RICH
Tell your mother I can’t back the Impala out for her. Don’t know where the keys are—
DARRELL
Okay.
RICH
Maybe you can run down, pick up some milk for her. Don’t really want her driving it, anyway, ’til I get it looked at.
DARRELL
Fine. Gotta get some smokes, anyhow—
RICH
Great. See ya. (to SHARI) Let’s do it.
SHARI
Alright. Bye, Darrell.
DARRELL
So long.
SHARI waves at DARRELL and RICH closes the door behind them. DARRELL sits by himself, staring at the TV. After a moment, CAMMIE returns. Baby is still crying
CAMMIE
—fucking brat, huh?
DARRELL
Yeah.
CAMMIE
Cannot get ’em to calm down right now. Fuck it, cry m’self out. Whatever.
DARRELL
Right.
She yawns loudly.
CAMMIE
Ooommmmm! ’Nother hour, I’m not gonna hear shit, anyway, blubber away all he wants to . . . (BEAT) Time you taking off for your “big” thing?
DARRELL
Half hour or so—
CAMMIE
Alright. Where you guys going?
DARRELL
Just around.
CAMMIE
Sounds fun—
DARRELL
Yep.
They sit silently for a moment, watching the TV.
CAMMIE
Hate this fucking show—
DARRELL
Change it.
CAMMIE
Cable’s out.
DARRELL
Oh.
CAMMIE
Yeah.
DARRELL
Fuck.
CAMMIE
Exactly. Don’t matter, couldn’t hear it over that little shit, anyway . . . (yawns again) Gonna lay down a minute.
DARRELL
’Kay.
CAMMIE
Wake me ’fore you go, alright? ’Least tell me you’re off—
DARRELL
I will.
CAMMIE stands and heads toward the hall.
Hey, Mom?
CAMMIE
Yeah?
DARRELL
You really don’t remember those forts we used to make on the porch? I mean, with that blanket ’a yours—
CAMMIE
Nah, I really don’t.
DARRELL
Huh.
CAMMIE
I can see that house in my head and all, but not so much specifically about it. ’S a bad time for me, you know, just married and I was pregnant, too, ’member? Yeah. Lost the kid, though, that summer I lost it and Shari’s dad and me at each other a lot. Fighting. (BEAT) Not, like, the best chapter for me, so, you’re on your own with the Kodak memories and shit—
DARRELL
No big deal. Just asking—
CAMMIE
Truthfully, I don’t recall that much about you. Really. Growing up, I mean.
DARRELL
No?
CAMMIE
Nah. Just fucking happened and then, one day, well, there you were. Darrell. (BEAT) Course I can remember taking you around places when you were little, the store and stuff, and losing you at the mall one time—Shopping Center, they used to call it, “Shopping Center”—you crawled under a goddamn bench outside Sears and I couldn’t find you for, maybe, twenty minutes . . . Shit like that I recall, but you, I mean, just you as an individual—you never really made that big an impression—
CAMMIE yawns and exits the room. DARRELL looks back to the TV. Tries the remote. Nothing. He stands now, going to the console and wiggling a wire in the back. Still nothing. Suddenly, he smacks the side of the set savagely several times. Like magic, a sharp picture appears.
Satisfied, DARRELL checks his watch and returns to his chair. He begins clicking through the channels, one after the next, faster and faster.
THE PENGUIN POOL
Plexiglass wall set on a concrete barrier which separates the animals from visitors to the zoo. A pond, thin layer of ice on it, surrounds a replica of an iceberg. An EXHIBIT CLOSED FOR REPAIRS sign taped to the glass.
TIM and JENN stand shivering in the dark, smoking. After a moment, DARRELL appears with a large canvas bag in his arms.
DARRELL
—fucking fence, huh?
TIM
Yeah.
DARRELL
Tore the sleeve ’a my jacket all to shit! ’S fucking great—
JENN
It’s cold.
TIM
The hell we doing here, anyway?
DARRELL
Just thoughta this, wanna show you something. (looking around) ’S fun here, ain’t it? I get off on this place!
JENN
Darrell, I’m froze. What do you gotta show us so bad, couldn’t do it indoors?
DARRELL
Take a minute, that’s all—
TIM
Let’s do it, then. (BEAT) They got guards come by every so often, you know.
TIM looks around, worried. DARRELL smiles, kneeling to put the bag on the ground. He motions for TIM and JENN to have a look. Long silence as they stare into the bag, dumbfounded.
JENN
—Darrell.
TIM
What is this?
DARRELL
Like you guys to meet someone.
TIM
Fucking nephew. Oh, man—
DARRELL
Step. ’S my step-nephew, and I thought we’d show ’em the sights.
JENN
Darrell, this is not funny.
DARRELL
Not being all jokey about this . . . took ’em for a ride, get ’em the hell outta the house! ’S mom drops him off our place, don’t give a shit, so, here he is—
TIM pokes gently at the bag.
TIM
Sleeping.
DARRELL
Believe that? All the way from my house. Resilient little fuck, gotta give ’em that.
JENN
Too cold, this kinda shit, Darrell—
TIM
Seriously. Freezing my ass off in this uniform—
DARRELL
Rich said you could go a long way, trunk of a car, you warm enough. Thought maybe he was shitting me—
TIM and JENN look at one another, trying to decide the best way to approach this.
TIM
—yeah. (BEAT) ’S funny, you’re right, going to the zoo with ’em, but it’s just way too cold. Plus, his mom, huh?
DARRELL
Fuck his mom. What’s she know, taking off the car show she’s so goddamn worried?
JENN
Hey, Darrell, I’m tired, okay? You guys picked me up late, I’m cold and I wanna party and you’re doing, just, like, weird shit now . . . so, thanks for the terrific birthday, let’s drive back to your place or something. But not out here. All right?
JEN
N picks up her purse and walks off. TIM starts to follow.
TIM
Come on, dude, let’s pack it up. Kid’s gonna catch cold, be paying doctor’s bills we’re not careful.
DARRELL
—I wanna ransom him. Serious.
TIM and JENN stop short.
TIM
Huh? I don’t get what you’re—
JENN
This is what you wanna show me, Darrell? Is it?! ’Cause I ain’t fucking amused.
DARRELL
What, you think I can’t get anything in trade for this kid, ’s that the matter?
TIM
No . . . dude—
JENN
’S a fucking crime, Darrell! That’s the fucking matter!!
DARRELL
So?
JENN
What’re you gonna do, call his mom, ask for a million bucks? F.B.I. on your ass in about twenty minutes—
TIM
—tops.
JENN
Be serious.
DARRELL
Think I’m playing fucking Scrabble?! I am serious—
TIM
You really ain’t kidding, I mean, you’re not, are you, Darrell?
JENN
I can’t even . . . (kneels down to the bag) ’S cheeks are flushed.
TIM comes over and takes a look as well. The baby begins to whimper.
TIM
Too fucking brisk, this sorta shit. (BEAT) Damnit! Hell you gotta do it for, Darrell?!
DARRELL
Just because . . .
(DARRELL reaches down and scoops up the bag.)
. . . now let’s do it. Come on.
JENN
Darrell . . . fuck. She is not gonna give you nothing for that kid! Think about it.
DARRELL
Who?
JENN
The mother!!
DARRELL
I said “fuck her.” ’S not about her. (BEAT) I wanna ransom ’em to you. You and Tim.
Silence as TIM and JENN let this one sink in. DARRELL slowly zips the bag shut.
TIM
—huh?
JENN
’S that supposed to mean?
DARRELL
Gonna play a game here, ’kay? (BEAT) Now, Jenn answers my questions, ’s all cool. Tim can have the baby. You don’t, and . . . well, I dunno what.
(TIM makes a move toward DARRELL and DARRELL fakes a toss to him. The whimper becomes a thin cry that floats off into the night. TIM stops dead.)
. . . prefer a game of catch, instead?!
TIM
Darrell—
DARRELL
Huh?! Bet you get a hell of a spiral off this little bastard—
DARRELL shakes the bag. JENN puts a hand to her mouth as TIM steps slowly back.
JENN
Darrell . . . come on, please. Stop it, just fucking stop—
DARRELL (stopping)
—’kay. You guys ready now? Huh?
TIM
Yeah.
JENN
—yes.
DARRELL
Good. (BEAT) So . . . the fuck is going on?
TIM and JENN try to remain calm, thinking quickly as to what DARRELL is after.
JENN
I dunno what you’re trying to—
DARRELL
Bullshit. Bullshit! Now don’t . . . just tell me.
TIM
Darrell—
DARRELL
Yeah, what?
JENN
I don’t understand, ’kay? The fuck do you want me to say?! Just gimme a—
DARRELL
The truth! Fucking truth, some antique word I know, but I’m listening . . . (BEAT) Who the fuck was the nigger, two summers ago? Tell me now.
TIM
This is—
JENN
Oh fuck.
DARRELL
Yeah, no kiddin’, “oh fuck.” You think all the shit you do just disappears into the ether somewheres, you keep it hidden long enough?
JENN
—no, I just—
DARRELL
What? What?!
TIM
Darrell . . . listen to me, I was—
JENN
He was this . . . shit, I don’t know how to—
TIM
—Jenn, lemme try to—
DARRELL
The black guy whose dick you sucked. His basement. ’S that help?! (BEAT) He made a video ’a the two of you—
JENN
—huh?
DARRELL
Yeah, “huh?” Same exact fucking thing I said . . . huh? Not Jenn, not my goddamn girlfriend I left for three months ’cause my fucking mother sent me away, that can’t be her giving this guy head!
JENN
You saw it?
TIM
Darrell—
DARRELL
Tim, shut the fuck up a second, we’re talking now . . . (to JENN) No, I did not see it, but seems like I got a pretty good handle on the thing, don’t it?
JENN
Yeah.
DARRELL
So, what, I just wasn’t enough for ya, or, like, come on, go ahead, tell me—
JENN
’S not that.
DARRELL
—what is it about your particular legs, I wonder, makes ’em spread so fucking easy?
(TIM takes another step toward DARRELL, who moves back and swings the bag wildly .)
Fuck you doing, man, making your move?! You don’t got the balls, Timmy! Not nearly enough!!
TIM holds up his hands, backing off again.
TIM
Be cool . . . cool it—
JENN
Darrell!
DARRELL
You’re like, getting outta hand, you know that, Tim? ’Coming a force to be reckoned with, some shit like that!
TIM
Just don’t, dude, ’cause I’m trying to talk this through and you’re fucking with me! Don’t!!
DARRELL pretends to drop the bag. Does it again.
DARRELL
What’re you gonna do?! Huh?! Come on!!
JENN
Stop it! Stop!! (BEAT) I’ll tell you, I will, just STOP!!!
(TIM backs down first, then DARRELL. DARRELL turns and stares straight at JENN, who is tearing up now.)
’S that what this is about? Huh? All this . . . shit . . . ’s about that?!
DARRELL
No. Never really liked the kid . . . glad I did this. (BEAT) Now, hurry up.
JENN
—I don’t know about any tapes, nothing like that. I don’t.
DARRELL
Uh-huh—
JENN
He was just this guy I . . . met. This one guy. That summer you took off and we broke up, all your stuff about “no strings” and, you know, whatever. That’s when.
DARRELL
You . . . you know I never mean that shit—
JENN
Yeah, well, you said it! Said it to me and there I am, June or whatever, and I come to find out ya left me a little present. Yeah. Carrying it around, which, at fifteen, is just not gonna happen. So I found a way to get rid of the thing—
DARRELL
I don’t get it. What’re you saying?
JENN
Fuck, Darrell—
DARRELL
What?
JENN
You got me pregnant. Had to do something!
(DARRELL, still clutching the bag, stands there blinking and trying to process.)
. . . had to, and you nowhere in sight.
DARRELL
Oh.
TIM
’S my fault.
DARRELL
Tim, I told you to stay the fuck—
TIM
No, man, you’re gonna listen to me! I been taking your shit, playground ’a elementary school since, and you’re gonna fucking hear me out!! Just listen to me, Darrell . . . I said, ’s my fault. (BEAT) I’m the one who gave Jenn his name—
&nbs
p; DARRELL
You did? You?
TIM
Yes.
DARRELL
And why’s that? Tim, huh? (BEAT) Why would you do some shit like that to me?—
TIM
’Cause. Look, the guy . . . he helped my sister out. Used to go with her, they were both seniors at Washington. Got her knocked up once and she told me, a while after that, he beat her in the stomach when they knew. He did it with another girl, too, or something. Anyway, he knew how it’s done, and so she told me about it . . . ’s all I could come up with!
JENN
’S true. You weren’t around so I asked Tim for help—
DARRELL
—I see—
JENN
—he gave me the name and whatever happened happened. It got done.
TIM
Right.
JENN
Don’t know about this tape . . . honest. I did it because I was three months in and I was scared. That’s the whole fuckin’ tale—
DARRELL is silent. TIM takes a step forward.
DARRELL
—and you couldn’t say a word to me, huh? I mean, fuck . . . (to TIM) Neither one ’a you?
JENN
Darrell—
DARRELL
Two fucking years since and you couldn’t maybe just drop a little hint?!
JENN
Yeah, you’re right, that woulda been great . . . fuck, Darrell, you start yelling I glance at some guy too long, cover ’a People magazine!!
DARRELL
Whatever. (BEAT) And I suppose . . . you gave him head because . . .?
JENN
Jesus, Darrell, because I didn’t-have-any-money! What do you think?!! ’S what he charged me so I did it!!!
DARRELL
—oh. Oh.
They all stand for a moment in a bit of a standoff. JENN finally puts her hands out.
JENN
—there. Now gimme the kid.
TIM
I’m asking nice, now, Darrell . . . I had it with this kinda shit! Put ’em down. Just do it, man . . . said you would.
DARRELL stops and smiles. He lets out a deep breath and motions with one hand, holding the bag out.
DARRELL
Yeah, the fuck was I thinking? Here—
TIM slowly reaches for the bag. At the last moment, DARRELL pulls it back and lets it fly with a full revolution over the top of the penguin fence. A soft plop! and it is gone.
For a second, TIM and JENN stand frozen where they are, unable to move, then TIM suddenly makes a run at the fence.
TIM
NO!
JENN
Oh my God!!
TIM tries to climb the wall but DARRELL pulls him back down.
TIM
—the fuck off me!!
DARRELL
Whooaah, Timmy!! Getting a little big, your fucking britches—
TIM
Fuck! Fucker!! Fuck you, Darrell!!!
DARRELL
Come on! Do it, ya stupid motherfucker!! Stupid!!!
At this, TIM lunges at DARRELL and pins him to the ground, pounding away at him. DARRELL throws the bigger boy off him and starts to tear at TIM’s face. JENN jumps in at this, trying to protect TIM. DARRELL throws her off and goes back to scratching TIM.