West of Nowhere

by KG MacGregor

“I’ll do anything you want, any way you like. Just let me stay right here for now so I can kiss you when you come.”

  Joy answered by pulling her into another kiss as she arched her body upward under Amber’s searching hand.

  She was slick and swollen, and Amber easily slid two fingers inside, only to draw them out and circle her hardened knot. Each time she traced the route inside and out, Joy grew more aroused, rocking her hips in a climbing rhythm until suddenly she squeezed her thighs together and groaned.

  Amber sought out her lips for a kiss, at the same time burying her fingers inside to feel the contractions. Not only did it strengthen their connection, it also gave her a heady feeling of confidence and self-worth. She was good enough to make love with someone as decent as Joy Shepard.

  “I will never question your lesbian credentials again,” Joy said, tightening her embrace as she nuzzled beneath Amber’s chin. “If you weren’t one before, I’ll vouch for you at the next official membership meeting.”

  “I’m not nearly finished with you.” She wanted to bury her face in that warm, wet center and feel all those same sensations with her tongue.

  Amber’s distinctive cell phone ring erupted from the pile of clothes on the floor.

  “Someone has a terrible sense of timing,” she said as she tumbled from the bed.

  “Could have been a whole lot worse.”

  “Operator…what’s your emergency?” She could hear the TV in the background, a jingle for car insurance.

  “I don’t think I can hold on much longer without a burger and fries from Pearl’s,” he stated drolly.

  Amber held the phone to her chest and repeated his demand.

  “I’ll go,” Joy said, adding with a whisper, “assuming I can still walk.”

  “Anything else, Your Majesty?”

  “I wouldn’t mind a beer, if you think my poor system can tolerate it.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Joy was mostly dressed by the time she ended the call, but Amber couldn’t resist the urge to press her naked body into Joy’s arms one last time before their magic afternoon ended.

  “Does this mean we’re girlfriends?” she asked.

  “What it means is everything has changed.” Joy cupped Amber’s face in both hands and planted a tender kiss on her forehead. “We can have this only as long as we both take care of it. It’s up to us.”

  Where Amber had been expecting a trite reply, she’d gotten so much more. No one had ever spoken to her with such depth of thought and feeling, and it gave her a renewed sense of hope that this time she had gotten something right.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “For the love of all that’s holy, that hurts like a motherfucker!” Shep groaned as he raised his arm to shoulder level. His incision had healed, and his doctor was satisfied that the pin in his shoulder was now sturdy enough to begin range of motion exercises.

  Joy felt sorry for his pain, but her overriding emotion was relief at not being responsible for pushing him through his routine every day. Instead, she watched from the comfort of the dining room table where lunch was a bowl of cereal with strawberries Amber had washed and sliced.

  “That’s what happens when you hold it one position for two months,” Amber said. “Grin and bear it. The therapist said ten times, three times a day.”

  “The bastard pops in once a week like the Pain Fairy and then skips out after he’s told everybody what to do.” He let his arm fall limply to his side. “I’m through with this bullshit. I’ll do some more when it stops hurting like a son of a bitch.”

  “Fine, we’ll both quit. No more exercises for you. No more dumping your piss jug for me.”

  He snarled and resumed his feeble arm lifts, yelling even louder to make sure they both knew how much it hurt.

  Joy had to admire Amber’s tenacity and resolve. Whether her pop admitted it or not, he was getting stronger because of her staunch refusal to let him slide. It was hard to believe she was the same person who, only two months ago, had no sense of discipline or responsibility. Equally amazing was how Joy’s feelings for her had gone from doubt to admiration and more.

  “Three more and you get a handful of Goobers,” she taunted, standing just out of his reach as she rattled the box.

  “How about we shove those Goobers right up your—”

  “Say, Pop…what did Madison have to say this morning?” Joy had missed the call when she’d gone to the gym. With Amber now intimately studying her body from head to toe, she felt especially motivated to keep it in top shape.

  “Barely a word. It’s almost like she’s afraid to talk. What the hell is that all about?”

  “I don’t know for sure, but apparently Syd told her not to talk to anyone about the new boyfriend—anyone probably meaning me—or about anything at home, including the fact that her so-called mother doesn’t help her with her homework now that she has better things to do.” This was the only place Joy could vent her anger. “And Madison isn’t supposed to say anything about me in front of Mitch. I think Syd’s afraid he’ll dump her if he finds out she’s actually a lesbian, and she’s making sure Madison knows how shameful that is.”

  “I have an idea how to fix that—three helicopters and a Navy Seal extraction team.”

  “I wish.”

  Amber doled out ten Goobers and put the box back in the refrigerator. “You should just call the guy and tell him. Be done with it, and take the pressure off Madison.”

  “I would never see her again.” Joy explained how the law worked in Virginia. Her only connection to Madison was out of the kindness of Syd’s cold heart.

  “That’s just fucked up. How does Madison feel about it?”

  “She’s a kid. She loves both of us and doesn’t like having all these stupid rules.”

  It was more complicated than that, but Joy didn’t want to talk about what she thought would be the ideal solution, which involved her moving back to Newport News so she could see Madison several times a week. Ultimately, she might do that, but there were now two others to consider in her life besides Madison.

  “I’m going out to the camper to give her a call.”

  When she was sure her father was looking the other way, she shot Amber a quick wink. It was ironic to be talking about Syd’s secrets when she and Amber were keeping their own, but they’d agreed to let the news of their relationship emerge gradually and without fanfare.

  With a fresh cup of sugar-infused coffee, she booted up her laptop and tapped the icon to call Madison, the only person in her video contact list. Her smile faded instantly when Syd’s face appeared on the screen.

  “What’s up? Where’s Madison?”

  “We need to talk. I was going to call you later today, but I told Madison to come get me if you called first.”

  “Is she still grounded?” Joy did her best to keep the ice out of her voice.

  “No, you can talk to her in a minute, but I need to tell you a little about what’s going on.” Syd turned away and told someone—apparently Madison—to close the door behind her. “Madison’s getting out of control. She’s started acting up at school, and here at home too. She won’t do her homework, and even when she does, it’s like she doesn’t try at all. I’ve caught her in I don’t know how many lies, and then last week I walked in and found her rummaging through my nightstand. She knows better than that, but she’s not listening to me anymore. It just started about a month ago and she won’t tell me why.”

  Joy was sure she knew the reason but didn’t dare speak his name. It was only natural that Madison would be jealous of a new boyfriend when her mother stopped spending time with her. “Do you want me to talk to her?”

  “It’s way past that, Joy.” Syd shook her head and sighed. “Mitch just got orders to the Sixth Fleet.”

  Headquartered in Naples, Italy. That would certainly fix the problem.

  “He’ll probably be there three years, maybe even more, so I was thinking this was a good opportunity for Madis
on to get a fresh start.”

  It was as if a stone dropped in the pit of Joy’s stomach as the implication hit her, and she felt tears rush to her eyes. The thought of not seeing Madison for three years was enough to make her sick.

  “I really think she needs a change of scenery, Joy. How would you feel about her coming out to California for a while?”

  Joy was so stunned she could barely breathe. Surely she had misheard. “You want her to come here? For how long?”

  “I don’t know…it depends. You know how the navy is. If we want to live in base housing, we have to get married. But even if we live off-base, I wouldn’t want to take Madison to a place like Italy unless she’s a navy dependent, and Mitch just isn’t there yet, especially with her acting out like this.”

  It was classic Syd, focused solely on what she wanted for herself. Without conscience, she was offering to give up her own daughter in order to go to Italy with Mitch. What made it surreal was that Joy didn’t care about her motives at all as long as she ended up with Madison.

  “How soon?”

  “He has to be there by the third of December. It would be easier if we could get the navy to move all of us at one time.”

  That was less than six weeks away. “I can be there by next weekend. Can you have her ready to go by then?”

  “I don’t know. I’d have to get Friday off to withdraw her from school.”

  “I bet I can do that over the phone after I get her enrolled out here,” Joy offered eagerly. “But you need to see a lawyer and get the paperwork finished by Saturday. If you’re going to be all the way over in Italy, I should be her legal guardian.”

  “You still have the hospital papers from Carrie, don’t you? Those should be good.”

  “I don’t think so, Syd. That was Carrie giving both of us parental rights, but now that Madison’s your adopted daughter, I think we’ll need some sort of temporary transfer of guardianship.”

  “I didn’t…” Syd looked back over her shoulder in the direction of the door, and then lowered her voice. “I never followed through with the legal adoption on account of Johnny, because he didn’t want to take on somebody else’s kid. Good thing, I guess, since he was scum.”

  And somehow, it had slipped her mind for over three years to share that bit of critical information? Joy wanted to scream obscenities at the narcissistic, lying sack of self-centered shit but still she managed to swallow her fury. Whatever she felt about Syd wouldn’t matter at all once she got Madison, especially if Syd had made no formal effort at adoption.

  “Once we get to Italy, if we go ahead and get married and Mitch agrees to adopt, then we’ll probably want Madison to come live with us. And, of course, there’s always a chance—as much as I hate to say it—that things won’t work out with Mitch. If I end up coming back to the states early, I’ll want her back with me in Newport News.”

  “Of course.” Of course that’s what Syd wanted, but Joy wasn’t actually agreeing to anything, especially since she’d just realized she had just as much claim to Madison as Syd, and always had. “Let’s do this. I’ll get plane reservations for next weekend and you get her stuff packed.”

  Syd nodded and glanced behind her again. “I don’t want to tell her yet. She’s been so disruptive that I’m not sure how she’ll react.”

  “What, you want me to show up out of the blue and tell her she’s coming with me?”

  “I know, it sounds ridiculous, but I think it would be easier on her if she didn’t have too much time to think about it. She’s crazy about you and Shep, and I think she’ll be excited.”

  In other words, Syd didn’t want to deal with the fallout from Madison realizing that she was being dumped.

  “We’ll make like it’s a big surprise,” Joy said.

  Syd was so focused on herself that she probably didn’t notice the phoniness in her words, or if she did, she didn’t care. After agreeing to connect later in the week when Joy had her flight plans firmed up, she turned the phone over to Madison.

  “Am I in trouble?” the girl asked.

  “Why would you ask?”

  “Because you and Syd never talk, and she’s been mad at me about everything.”

  “Mad isn’t the right word, sweetie. We’re both worried about how you’re doing in school.”

  Joy could hardly curb her giddiness at knowing what changes were right around the corner. No more suffering without Madison because Syd was in a snit, and no more having to suck up just for the privilege of seeing her. The gloves were coming off.

  After pasting a kiss on the screen, she disconnected and dialed a number on her cell phone, which went to voice mail.

  “Dani, it’s Joy. Remember that national network of professionals you told me about? I need the number of an adoption attorney in Virginia.”

  * * *

  Amber rested her head against Joy’s thigh and used her finger to outline the triangle of pubic hair. Though Joy was obviously spent, Amber wasn’t yet ready to leave the sensual place.

  Something had to give soon. It was past ten o’clock—well past the hour Joy needed to be asleep in order to be up at four—but there was no other private time they could escape to the camper, especially under the guise of Amber doing her schoolwork. Not long after dinner tonight, Shep had turned in early to watch a movie and had fallen asleep. That created this rare opportunity, but Joy would pay the price for it tomorrow.

  “I should go and let you get some sleep.”

  “Come up here.” Joy opened her arms. “This will be easier once Madison gets here. Then you’ll have an excuse to be out here in bed with me.”

  The news about Madison’s imminent arrival had come as a shock. The fact that Joy hadn’t even talked it over with her before agreeing to it told her all she needed to know about priorities, but realistically speaking, what could she have said? That she wanted Joy all to herself? The poor kid got enough of that from her mom and the boyfriend. What worried Amber more was that she wouldn’t fit in once Joy, Shep and Madison were together again. It was just her luck to fall for someone who was suddenly being pulled in a different direction.

  Amber wanted to be part of that direction too. In fact, she wanted be part of the family, and clearly that meant welcoming Madison with open arms and hoping for the same.

  “One of these days, we have to tell your pop that we’re sleeping together. I bet he asks you what you could possibly see in someone so cruel.”

  “He should know by now what I see in you,” Joy said softly, her hands stroking Amber’s back in a tender way that threatened to put both of them to sleep. “I’ll talk to him Tuesday night when you head off to school. If I know Pop, the only thing he’ll say is what took you so long.”

  “And what’s Madison going to say?”

  Joy chuckled and gave her a squeeze. “She’s been telling me to get a girlfriend. I think her favorite part will be having three people pay attention to her. That’ll be a big change after being invisible.”

  Amber wished she shared Joy’s optimism. She’d never been all that good with the babies and toddlers at Harmony’s daycare, but she’d surprised herself lately. If she could handle an old crank like Shep, she could probably handle anyone.

  “My shirt’s around here somewhere,” Amber said, groping in the dim light that came through the window by their bed. Her hand came to rest on an iron box. “What’s this? Is this where you keep the dirty magazines?”

  Joy produced her shirt from beneath the pillow. “That’s my gun safe.”

  “Cool.” She ran her hand along the compartment. “Is the key here too?”

  “It’s a combination lock…seven-one-two, which happens to be Madison’s birthday.”

  “Good to know you keep it so close. I’ll be careful not to disturb you during a bad dream. You might blow my head off.”

  “Not funny. As useless as I was the one time I tried to use it, I might as well get rid of it.”

  “I don’t know how you can say that. You practically
saved my life.”

  “I could’ve done that just as well with a baseball bat to the back of that bastard’s knees. At least I wouldn’t have run the risk of getting shot.”

  “You’re being too hard on yourself.”

  “What’s so weird is that I trained for nine years in the navy to be ready for a situation like that, and it didn’t make a bit of difference. You see somebody you care about in trouble and everything you know goes out the window.” Joy hugged her tightly. “I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.”

  “It didn’t.” Amber reluctantly disentangled and climbed down from the bed to get dressed.

  Joy slipped on the shorts and T-shirt that passed for pajamas just as Amber’s cell phone rang.

  “What’s up, Shep?”

  “Can’t…breathe.”

  “We’ll be right there!” Amber was halfway out the door when Joy’s feet hit the floor behind her.

  They dashed up the deck and through the house to his bedroom in the front of the house, where he was flipping the channels with the remote while petting a slumbering Skippy.

  “Movie must not have been very good. I think I fell asleep.”

  “Are you okay?” Joy asked, her eyes darting around the room.

  “Sure,” he answered. “Say, how did you get here so fast? I thought you’d be asleep.”

  That’s when Amber noticed the smirk on his face. The whole episode had been a ruse to get both of them to come running. She smacked him with his own pillow. “You’re an asshole.”

  “Me? I called out for Amber and nobody answered so I picked up the phone. What’s with the secrets? And don’t bullshit me. I know you weren’t out there studying at this hour.”

  “We were going to tell you, Pop. We were just talking about it, in fact. We just wanted a little more time to ourselves, that’s all.” Joy plopped on the end of his bed, causing Skippy to raise his head, but only for a couple of seconds. “Oh, sorry…did I sit on your foot?”

  “Smartass.” He stuffed the pillow behind his head. “I don’t care what you do, but I’m not an idiot.”