“And Paulson Incorporated”—she stepped back, and I had no choice but to lower my hand to my side where it belonged—“will bring jobs to Limerick? Ultimately, Paulson will boost the economy there?”
“Yes,” I lied. “The company will help the city.”
And when Holly found out the truth . . . it would kill me. Rip open the wound in my side, and I’d bleed everywhere because she’d never forgive me.
She let go of a breath. “My land remains protected, and the city can still flourish.” She lightly nodded. “Then yes, it’s a deal.”
She offered me her hand to confirm the agreement. I stared at her long, slender fingers and swallowed hard. If I took hold of her hand, I’d pull her against me so fast she’d need to brace her palms against my chest. But like the arsehole I needed to be, I left her hanging.
She lowered her arm. “I’ll try and get a flight to Limerick for Tuesday. Stay a night there. Scope out the land in person and see what might work.”
“I’ll rearrange my schedule to come with you.”
“You sure you should be seen with me?” she asked sarcastically.
“Business is fine, but what about Reed? Don’t you need to finalize the movie deal with him?”
She dropped her gaze to the wood floor. “He had to leave to attend to a work issue. He’ll be back at the end of the week.”
When her light green eyes returned to mine, I couldn’t help but ask, “Does he know you’re only going to be friends?”
“And how do you know that’s what I want?” she challenged, the defiant lift of her chin sexy as hell.
“The way you kissed me,” I reminded her. “The fact you let me see your tits earlier.”
Without makeup, it was that much easier to see her blush. “I had something on.”
“It was see-through.” And did nothing to hide her swell of flesh that would fit perfectly into my palms.
I glimpsed the doorway to the kitchen down the hall. I should go now that I got what I’d come for. I shouldn’t go find her open bottle of wine and pour myself a glass. But I did.
“You think about asking first?” She leaned against the doorway of the kitchen, observing me as I brought the glass of red to my lips.
I leaned my hip against the white marble kitchen island. “You didn’t seem to have a problem drinking my alcohol earlier.”
“You can drink my wine if you tell me why you’re really helping those kids. And why you’re helping me. If you’re as heartless as you claim to be, you wouldn’t give a damn.”
“There’s a difference between being a bad person and—”
“No.” She padded into the kitchen and stood on the other side of the island. “Bad people rarely do good things.” She heaved out a breath. “He said you stole his wallet Friday, and that you used to be like him. What did he mean?”
“Sounds like he talks too much, thanks for letting me know.” I added more wine to the glass. I was going to need it.
“Sebastian.”
The sound of my name rolling off her tongue made me happy Alessia hadn’t changed my first name, too.
“We have three more weeks until the vote. Three weeks to get this new deal finalized. And that means we’ll be working together for twenty-one more days, so help me out here. Help me hate you a little less.”
I set the glass down and circled the counter to stand in front of her. “You only hate that you don’t hate me.” And I knew that because I was on the same damn page.
Her lips parted, but she didn’t speak. How could she? She wasn’t a liar, and she wouldn’t be able to deny the truth.
When she bowed her head, I hated myself a little more.
She’d begged me to open up, to help her understand why she should stay away from me. I’d behaved like a prick when all she really wanted was to know me better.
But how could I give that to her? I’d only opened up to one person and . . .
“You ever been to Dún Laoghaire?”
“Yeah, coastal town in the suburbs.” Her eyes lifted. “Why?”
“It’s where my mother was born.” I turned and started back down the hall to her living room, then dropped onto the armchair opposite her couch. “I spent my childhood at the bay. Staring at the sandbanks and those rocky outcrops,” I said once she’d entered the room and sat on the couch. “From Howth to Dún Laoghaire, we’d spend our weekends traveling the coast, and she’d tell me stories about our ancestors. About the shipwrecks there.”
She placed a brown throw pillow against her chest and held on to it as she listened to me, remaining quiet as if she feared I’d stop talking.
“I used to walk the pier back in Dún Laoghaire all the time and imagine I’d grow up to be a pirate.” I smiled at one of the few happy memories I still had. “You told me you’d dreamed of being a lot of things, but I’d only ever had one dream. Probably not the best idea.”
She returned my smile, and the movement of her lips—the happiness there—quickened my pulse.
“As much as my mother loved Dublin, she was obsessed with Paris,” I continued for some crazy reason. The last person I’d shared my stories with had been Alessia, and it felt strange, but also right, to talk to Holly. “We moved to Paris when I was eight.”
“So, you’re not French? I thought—”
“No, just lived there,” I admitted, even though my manufactured identity declared I was part French.
“What about your father?” she asked, keeping her voice soft.
“I don’t have a father. He didn’t want us. I never met him. I didn’t even know his name for the longest time.” Anthony Romano gave me his blood and a sister, but he’d never be more than that in my mind. “The kids,” I said, remembering why I was telling her about Ma. “Declan and Samuel—their ma isn’t around much. They didn’t tell me, but I think she’s got a drug problem. Declan was stealing to take care of Samuel.”
Her mouth tightened as if she couldn’t find the right words to share.
“After my ma died of a drug overdose in Paris, I was placed into the system, but I hated it. I ran away. Lived on the streets. I stole so I could buy food. Clothes.”
“I’m so sorry.” Her green eyes glimmered with unshed tears.
She didn’t need to cry for me. If she knew the things I’d done, she’d beg me to leave.
“That’s why you’re helping them,” she said. “Because of what you went through.”
“Only I’m hoping to find their ma before they experience the same fate as me. Declan is eighteen, but I doubt he’d win custody of Samuel. I can’t have the kid ending up in the system.” I stood and went to the window, the rain continuing to glide down the glass outside. “What are you thinking?” I faced her, worried she’d be looking at me as if she could fix me.
“I’m thinking you had a difficult life.” She set the pillow aside and stood. “And you must have worked very hard to get to where you are today.”
I didn’t earn the money, though I couldn’t tell her that part. My openness would have to end now.
“Would it make you feel better if I tell you something no one knows?”
It’ll make me care more, and I care too much already. But I kept my mouth closed, desperate just to hear the sound of her voice.
She stood alongside me but kept her gaze out the window, and I turned around to share the same view.
“When I was in high school, my boyfriend wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I hadn’t been ready to give up my virginity.”
My hand became a fist, and I set it against the windowpane as I bit down on my back teeth at her words. This was not what I was expecting to hear.
“Sean stopped him long before he had a chance to do anything.”
Relief struck me, but the anger didn’t subside.
“If it’d been Adam there, he probably would’ve—”
“Killed him?” Same as me.
“But that’s the part my family knows.” She faced me, bringing her eyes to mine. “What they do
n’t know is that I grabbed my father’s gun and went to him the following week, and I threatened him. I held the gun on him and said if he ever tried to force a girl to do something against her will ever again, I’d know, and I’d come back for him and kill him.” Her lower lip trembled. “I still check on him, too. Like some insane stalker. Making sure he keeps the promise he’d made while he pissed his trousers.” Emotion choked her words, breaking them in half.
Holy hell.
This woman.
“Holly.” I pulled her into my arms, brought her cheek to my chest, and held her tight against me.
Was I hugging her? Oh, God. And she was allowing it.
“Am I crazy?” she asked after she’d let go of me. The fact she was asking that question was a reminder she had absolutely no idea the kind of man I truly was.
“You’re not crazy at all,” I said, resisting the urge to caress her cheeks between my palms.
I’d be needing this man’s name, but I’d find it out on my own. I’d make sure he did live up to his promise. There were indeed worse punishments than death. Fearing me would be a start.
“Your secret is safe with me.” I forced myself to step away, and she swiped the backs of her hands across her cheeks, discarding the evidence of her tears.
“This, um, wasn’t how I was expecting the night to go.” She grabbed her glass of wine and finished it before grabbing her knife and slicing open the packing tape on another box—as if she hadn’t shared her secret with a man she was supposed to hate.
Instead of leaving as I should have, I went into the kitchen, refilled my glass, and helped her unpack.
“You didn’t really do that?” she asked a few hours and three more glasses of wine later.
She pressed her hand to her abdomen, laughing so hard she doubled over.
I set the empty box aside as she tried to stop herself from fits of laughter. “True story,” I admitted.
Five years ago, when I first saw Holly laughing at the club, I never would’ve believed there’d be a time when she’d be cracking up at one of my stories. “I’ll never forget the first time I saw you.”
She took a deep breath, setting aside her laughter. “Outside your restaurant when I nearly collided into you this year?”
“No,” I admitted.
What was it about her home that had me opening up?
“I saw you the night I bought the club. You were celebrating your twenty-first birthday, and I just . . .”
“You saw me back then?”
“How could I not notice you?” My voice was nearly hoarse. We’d been talking for hours, and I wasn’t exactly someone who spent much time having conversations, so this was all uncharted territory for me.
“I don’t know what to say.” She blinked a few times, gathering her focus, and I wondered if I’d killed the moment we’d been sharing.
This night had been like catching a glimpse of an alternate reality, a look at what my life could’ve been like.
“I want you, Sebastian,” she said in a rush.
Those three words combined with the sinful sound of my name from her lips had me rooting myself in place even though I should’ve backed the hell up.
“I wanted you before tonight, even though I knew I shouldn’t.” She wet her lips, allowing her confession to sit between us. “But now—”
“Nothing changes.” I hated the words. I wanted to destroy them. To be with her.
My chest constricted at the drop of her eyes to the floor, the pain I’d inflicted with those damn words.
“I thought I was only attracted to you. A physical thing.”
Now I stepped back. This statement far more dangerous.
“I’d give anything to have you touch me. Feel you inside of me.” Her voice dipped. It cracked. Her desire bled through, and I could feel it. “I wanted you to see me earlier. I loved your eyes on me. And you were right about what you said—I hated myself for wanting you. For wanting to sleep with you even though there’s so much I don’t know and don’t trust about you.”
Hated. Past tense. Fecking hell.
“But now I think that maybe whatever this is between us isn’t just about sex.”
“It is,” I lied as I ate up the space between us and tipped her chin, demanding she look me in the eyes. She needed to see the darkness there. To remember it. To never forget it. “It would only be sex.” I brought my face closer to hers, doing my best not to give in to my own wants and needs. “It’d just be fucking. And yes, I want it. More than you could possibly know,” I rasped. “But I’d hurt you. You’d end up hurt. I need you to understand that.” Her eyes began to close, but I begged, “Look at me.”
Where’s the fear? You need to be afraid of me. But it wasn’t there. I’d let my guard down, which I hadn’t done since my sister came into my life, and now Holly was looking at me as if I weren’t a bad guy.
“Okay,” she whispered.
“‘Okay’ what?”
“It can just be sex.”
She was going to kill me. Bury me so far down that even if the ground flooded, I’d remain deep within the earth forever.
“One time won’t ever be enough.” I brought my chin to the top of her head and held her against me, bringing her arms around my body. Hugging again. Twice in one night. A bloody record.
“Then it doesn’t have to be.” Her words vibrated against my chest.
I closed my eyes, struggling to maintain my resolve with her so close. “I have to go.” I peeled her arms off me and started for the door before I did something I’d regret. “I’m sorry,” I said once my shoes were back on, and the door was open. “But you’re much better off without me.”
Chapter Fourteen
Holly
“You’ve been staring at those papers in a daze. You okay?”
“What?” I looked up to find Bella standing in front of my desk in one of her bright blue pantsuits.
Her dark brows slanted with worry. “You need me to get you something, love? Coffee? Tea?”
“No.” I forced away thoughts of Sebastian and last night. We’d spent the night talking and drinking. Laughing and sharing stories. It almost felt like the start of something, a relationship. Well, up until he fled my home, declaring I should have nothing to do with him. “You get the jet booked for Limerick?”
“Wheels up tomorrow at eight a.m., and I reserved two rooms at a great little hotel in the city.” She tapped a pen at her bright red lips. “Sure you don’t just need one?”
“Not funny,” I responded, even though I knew she was joking.
“Not funny at all.” Bloody hell, I hadn’t even heard Sean enter. “She’s going there with Renaud, and I don’t understand why.”
“I explained it to you already.” My attention swerved to Bella. “Can you—”
“Yup. Leaving.”
Sean sank into the chair in front of my desk once Bella closed the door and raced a hand over his short, dirty blond hair. “Why are you trusting him? How do you know he’s not lying?”
Because he opened up to me last night. Because I’m beginning to understand him better. The fact he was so afraid I’d get hurt by associating with him outside of work meant he cared. Cared a lot. And if he was as evil as people made him out to be, he would have taken me to bed when I all but begged him to have sex with me.
“You ever stop to wonder why he’s so hell-bent on us selling the land?”
Another question I couldn’t verbally answer. Great.
Yes. He made a deal. The terms unknown. And frankly, I didn’t need to know. Probably didn’t want to.
“Fine. You won’t talk about Renaud, what about Reed?”
“What about him?” I finally responded. I wasn’t playing dumb so well, was I? “He’s in Amsterdam, and he called me an hour ago. We’ve rescheduled for Friday at three. I put it on your calendar.”
“Yeah, I know that. I’m referring to the conversation you had with Adam and how Reed might want more but you only want friendship.”
Twins. Freaking twins. They weren’t identical, but they still seemed to know what the other was thinking. And did they have to tell each other everything?
“Does Reed know this yet?”
“No, but surely a man with a reputation like yours won’t mourn my loss.”
“You’re not just anyone.” He loosened the knot of his blue silk tie. “But back to Renaud, we—” He let go of his words at a knock at my door.
“Come in,” I called, thankful for the distraction.
“Speak of the devil,” Sean muttered.
My heartbeat soared at the sight of Sebastian standing in the doorway.
Rather than one of his signature Brioni suits, he was dressed in jeans and a khaki-colored cable-knit jumper, a hint of a white tee beneath showing at the neckline. Brown suede oxfords. He looked like he’d just stepped out of a men’s catalog instead of the dangerous man he claimed to be.
“Hi.” I was on my feet immediately, palms atop the desk for support. My heart flew out the window the moment his eyes cut sharply my way as he ignored Sean’s presence.
Last night had been . . .
He’d told me about his ma and his childhood, and I’d told him my dark secret. There was a bond between us now whether Sebastian wanted to admit it or not.
“I got your text. You asked me to stop by?” His brows lifted, curiosity with a touch of conflict in his eyes.
“Yes, thanks for coming.”
Sean rose from his chair and moved to stand before him, getting way too close for my comfort level. “I have meetings I can’t get out of tomorrow, but if you so much as lay a hand on my sister or say anything to upset her in Limerick . . .” He left his threat hanging in the air, allowing Sebastian to fill in the blanks.
Sebastian kept his hold of my eyes, continuing to ignore Sean and his threats. Sean peered back at me, shook his head in disapproval, then left my office.
“Charming guy.” Sebastian’s lips crooked at the edges, giving me one of his rare smiles again. I swear those smiles were gifts.
“Holly?”
I hadn’t talked yet, had I?
The Real Deal: A Dublin Nights Novel Page 12