by Roxanne Lee
"I should have said it from the start, I honestly thought it would be better this way, " he coughed a scornful laugh."Obviously I was wrong, I just can't seem to get it right with you can I?"
Those eyes flashed to me for answer but I had no absolution for him. He was correct, every step he gained he lost all on his own. A hundred years would not forgive his actions, a hundred more would just add fuel to my already blazing fire. And yet he'd gotten what he wanted hadn't he? I was now and forever his.
"If I let you go, finish what you've started, will you come back?" He sighed, a long drawn out sound that pulled at that hardened organ in my chest. "I'm not asking for everything all at once, I just want this chance to change what I've done."
I gave the only answer I could, truth, even in my ever disillusioned mind it was clarity in the midst of chaos."I don't know...I'll come back for Sam, whatever happens."
He clenched his hands, so white in the loss of blood flow they were almost translucent. "Okay," such pain manifested in rigid shoulders and unyielding stature. I was avenged now, he understood what he'd done when he'd taken my choice. I should be standing tall in my victory, finding pleasure in his despondency and yet, all I felt was numb. "We'll talk before you leave, I need to meet with Lane shortly and I don't want any distractions when I explain what I need to. I'd like you to take someone with you, just to cover your back Arya...that’s all. Lane maybe?"
I nodded in agreement, I found myself completely out of words. I'd take Lane without argument, he would respect my need to finish this without interruption.
I left him standing alone once more. Such an overwhelming presence, a Captain of the guard standing solitary in his kitchen, all that power muted and snuffed out like candles losing their flame. How the lone female broke the great Captain.
Wearied limbs climbed solid stairs. I found Remy near the top, a panting excitable animal probably missing his usual sleeping arrangements. I held onto his hefty frame and we walked to the bathroom together, I wanted nothing more but hot, steaming water and a slightly uncomfortable sleeping position, wedged between a wall and one rather simple, black mastiff.
Standing under streams of pulsing water I felt disjointed in my own body. So much. So much had come to light, fought through the veil of darkness that so twisted my memories and made them born anew. The Living dead, bursting from the coffins I'd made for them, disrupting the soil I'd covered them in. Those memories now alive once more, refreshed and breathing, clear in his mind.
He'd taken them. Saw everything....and now he's changed. Now he's sorry. I couldn't think any more, it simply became too much.
I fell asleep wrapped around Remy, that dog a cushion of comfort that asked nothing in return. When I woke I would say my goodbyes, I'd tell Carver I'd see him again, even if I had to lie. I'd crush those dogs to me and tell them truths; that I'd return for them no matter what. And I'd say my goodbyes to that old man, the one that had rebuilt what had come to him shattered.
It was still light when I woke, a hazy, chilled afternoon sun. A beast still slumbered beside me, heavy breaths moving his large chest and my arm that rested around him. A soft knocking on the door snapped my attention from dazed to full. A crowd of voices in the distance rumbled their way to my ears.
"Girlie? Ya need ta get up, ya dressed?"
I cleared the sleep from my throat and absently patted the blurry eyed dog beside me.
"Yes Sam, come in."
He entered quickly, Luce padding beside him. "We go' lotsa company, damn near pushin' tha gate down."
I think my head was still full of sleep,"What?"
He fussed with his clothes in agitation, "Ya need ta move girlie, Carver wan' us out front. Those damn governors at tha gate an' they ain't alone neither."
I pushed myself from the bed and went straight to the bathroom, Sam following me and finally getting Remy out of bed. He watched as I brushed my teeth quickly and splashed my face with cold water, attempting to rid my brain of such deep, dreamless sleep.
"What are they doing here Sam?"
He huffed as he shook his head, "Dun really know bu' they got tha' pack wit' them, crowdin' round Carver's land." He shook his head, "go' more wolves out there then guards in here, looks like they makin' a move b'fore ya Captain can."
I stopped in the middle of putting my hair up, out the way of my vision and finally feeling content in it being out of my face."Sam, you can't stay here."
He smiled at me and shrugged, "I be fine, Ya think they goin' ta get in here?" He snorted, "they go' no idea girlie."
I finished at the sink and turned to him,"I'd rather you didn't stay, I was going to leave today anyway, you could come with me." I hadn't wanted him to, didn't want him to see how much I was capable of, didn't want that man to look at me with anything but his normal amusement and care, but I'd still rather that then have him stay here in the middle of turmoil.
He shook his head at me again, "This ya own thing, dun need me taggin' along. I'll wait righ' here fo' ya, you jus' remember ta come back fo' me."
I smiled a him, like I could forget, he was tangled so far inside me, adhered to every part, so much so, that he was impossible to remove."Always."
He gave me a gentle shove to the shoulder and cleared his throat, "Come on crazy, dun wanna keep ya man waitin'."
I had never realised before how much sound the house muted. As soon as the front door opened to the grounds surrounding that farmhouse, the noise level rose to roars of shouting men. I could see the gate in the distance, bodies pushing and shoving, climbing the iron struts as if they fully expected to gain access. They would not; the twenty strong guard staring at them proved nothing would pass the line they'd made of themselves. I saw Carver waiting for us, a grim expression on his darkened face. Lane stood beside him and I could only assume Charlie and Duncan were elsewhere dealing with the sudden appearance of the governors and Lane's new pack.
"What's going on?" I spoke to Carver but Lane decided to answer for him.
His smile was large and full of excitement. "We're being invaded....fun times."
I rolled my eyes, he was unquestionably insane."Will they get in?"
He shook his head and laughed, "No still it's fun...watching them try."
I frowned,"What's the point then, if they can't get in?"
"They're trying to...force Carver out. They have Fraser...on their side of the wall."
I stared at Carver, his face clenched as his teeth ground together and he bit out his words. "And they'll die horribly for it."
I looked at Sam to see him watching pack wolves scramble over each other."Why now?"
Carver answered this time as he stepped towards me, "They've discovered my plans I think. Someone has been playing both sides, you can't be here, if for some reason they get in they will use you against me."
I nodded slowly as I flicked my eyes towards Sam. Carver followed my gaze and smiled a little.
"I'll have a guard watch him, Duncan or Charlie. Don't worry he'll be fine."
I heaved a breath and stared into eyes as black and endless as the sky at night. "I'll see you then."
He frowned and shook his head,"That's all I get cherry?"
I shrugged, I didn’t know what he expected exactly. I turned to join Lane but was snatched mid stride when a large hand grabbed my waist and I was hauled to meet his gaze. Eye to eye, black to green. Those tingles erupting in explosions with every part of me that met every part of him. His breath teased my lips and he ran a rough thumb over them, following the path his puff of air forged.
"Just this once." His husky voice was a whisper on my lips as he lent forward and met my startled mouth with his.
I thought not once on the animal inside. Not about the things that he'd done, not what was waiting for me so patiently in that cell, in the prison I'd claimed as mine years ago, not the wolves struggling at the gate, a fighting force of beasts clamouring for entrance. Just his lips on mine, a little rough and a little rushed, but a touch of something wholl
y male that took my breath and left me with the taste of cinnamon.
I watched him walk away, my fingers touching the lips he'd kissed. I heard Sam chuckling behind me and turned to thump him gently with my free hand. He only laughed more and I once again gave up, settling for only the battles I'd win.
I turned to Lane to see him smiling at me, a little bit off and a little bit manic, but his meaning was abundantly obvious.
I'd let him kiss me, and it hadn't been all that bad.
I screwed my face up and shook those tingles off, distracting in their tiny shocks. I looked up at Lane, grey eyes full of imminent battle rage that would be completely wasted.
"Ready?"
That smile spread and morphed, becoming something darker in its mutation. "Can't wait...let's go kill the fucker."
Chapter 36.
Hadn't I had clues? Of course I had, and yet still I'd been so blind.
Tiny pieces of the puzzle wrapped in glittering deception, dark patches on white flooring, footsteps in the sand.
Such an easy map to follow, such an intricate web to spin.
Half truths and full lies, some so obvious it seemed idiotic I'd missed that perfect trail.
And what's left now? After disclosure and after realisation.
This will always be the result,
When first we choose to deceive.
We'd started our journey so easily, I'd thought we'd have more problems leaving the guards ground, oh, how wrong I'd been. When Lane had led me in the opposite direction to the swelling volume from the front gate, I'd thought we were retrieving the cars to drive our way through the crowd. I turned confused eyes onto him as we passed several trucks.
His smile was pure smugness, "You think we've lived so long...and only have one exit?"
I snorted back at him, I suppose not. We entered the second enclosure behind the training room, the one I'd yet been able to venture through. From the passing glance I managed, it was very similar to the main camp, minus the farmhouse, and featuring several larger buildings that could only be barracks for those guards not yet in Carver's personal team. I caught sight of man changing to wolf, that awe inspiring transition when skin stretches and burns and backs bend and break, only to reinstate as beasts breach the surface. From division we are made whole.
Over a hundred men were stationed, waiting. Many already in wolf form, those that weren't nodded to Lane as we passed before returning to instruct the gathering around them. It was an obvious preparation for war and I had a moment of doubt, a small insistent voice that pestered at me to return. A voice that I would only ignore.
Lane led me to the wall surrounding the encampment, old and gnarled trees running the walls length, withered in Autumn's unforgiving season but large enough to cover the break in the cream stone. A smaller solid iron door stood in our way and Lane reached up to press his palm to the side wall, a click of the lock disengaging followed his action. He smirked at me when I rolled my eyes, he obviously thought it was incredibly impressive.
"At least I know I just need to remove your hand in future to get out of here."
He laughed at me and wiggled his eyebrows, before shifting in front of me and losing his trousers. I groaned at him and sighed, when these males shifted to wolf the rush of adrenalin momentarily caused their cock to uncover from the usual sheath it was enclosed in.
"I don't know why you bothered, it's not all that much to look at."
Lane's eyes flashed and he growled his affronted displeasure at me before turning his back so I ended up facing his ass instead, barely covered by his light and sparse fur. I think I preferred the probably now hidden frontal view.
I huffed as I started to remove my clothes, it was either naked or lose them and I found myself rather attached these new belongings. I suppose after spending so long without, I'd grown materialistic over what I considered mine. I threw the clothes over Lane's shoulder and carefully slid my knife into his clawed hand. I whispered to his back and was ever grateful when he didn't turn around at my words.
"Don't you lose that."
His large hand clasped the knife tightly and I smiled at his back before calling my animal forth. She emerged with a beautiful burn. A spark ignited and devoured the human, blistering and feverish in her enthusiasm. I shared her space and felt nothing but true delight when I looked through that gold glinted vision. It was freedom. Freedom from the almost suffocating presence of Carver. Weighed down by that males unspoken pressure, choking in light of expectations, we were free and we were glorious.
Lane's giant form turned to the shivering, energetic, coal coloured wolf beside him. He grinned a macabre smile, all teeth and twisted features and gestured with his hulking head to lead the way. She took point on our mission, the leader in her favourite game of track the Devil. She was slower than normal, her pace shortened by the wolf behind her and his lacking speed. Yet still the trees and shrubs flew past her in blinding slashes as those flawless muscles constricted and released in an age old movement of impeccable strain.
I sat in my throne, that gilded one of false title, an illusion of Crown and rank made possible by the animal's capacity and the Captains gifts. Anticipation flooded my veins as I allowed myself to think once again of the end, that this time I would finish and it would be immortal, to be forever entombed in histories of conquest. But first, first, it would be enjoyable and I will luxuriate in the blood that spills.
By the time that Street came into view I had rolled around in thoughts of massacre for far too long, the animal lent me her barbaric nature and I turned it rabid in my demented logic. I shifted quickly out of sight of Lane's decreasing mass, he threw my clothes at the arm I waved from behind a tree and I ventured out retrieve my knife.
His grin was sly and greedy in its sickness, "I could help...you know?"
My scowl was his answer and he nodded reluctantly."I'll be staying here. From what Carver said...that man would only enjoy...my presence. With what's inside me...he'd only be harder to kill."
I left him staring after me, a slow burning contradiction clear on his face, the drugged need to slay this empath and the understanding that not only did I not need his help, but also that his boiling emotions would just make it harder for me.
I climbed that wall in human skin, my muscles improved on the waste they had been. I opened my ears to sounds from every direction, a casual check before I leaped. A smile spread across my face and I found heaven in my sinful intentions.
My feet moved all by themselves, a robotic step that led me straight to the kitchen to retrieve the keys I'd left and onwards to that door. The steel barrier that creaked as I unlocked it and moved it from my forward path. The sight before me turned my smile to extreme, a stretching of skin obscene in its picture.
He sat as I'd left him. Tethered to that chair. Sweat poured down his pale face, turning his skin gruesome in its slicked grime. The stench of urine turned my stomach and yet, I still found amusement in his weakened bladder. He looked up as I stared from the doorway, a crazed grin that almost matched mine gracing his vile features.
"Been waiting for you pumpkin," he rasped from a dry throat. "You left me."
I laughed at this man. Maniacal and high strung. Such a waste of human life and yet he would bring me such bliss, how odd that all those years he'd hoped to humiliate me with pleasure and all he'd had to do was die for me to feel so. I stepped forward to stand before him, blood stained the floor beneath his chair, satisfaction rose at the sight. I brought my knife into view and the flash of the blade caught his eye.
"Don't tease me pet...finish what you started."
I cocked my head to the side, he was already healing as he fed from me. His voice stronger, his face returning it's colour. I glanced down at his feet and scowled to myself. I can't believe I forgot those fucking shoes. I bent slightly and tugged on his laces, slipping off the black, patent leather and crushing them in my grip. He raised a confused brow my way and I shrugged.
"I really hate these shoes."<
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He grinned widely, shark teeth on full view. "They're all yours then."
I raised an eyebrow,"I wasn't asking."
His face was starting to annoy me, he was nowhere near as scared as I'd like. I flipped the knife around in my hand and stabbed him through the thigh. High enough to hit flesh but low enough to miss an artery, I wasn't done playing. His cry was muffled as he bit through his lip in an attempt to hide the sound. All he accomplished was yet more blood pouring down his chin. I checked his bonds were still in place and left the knife in his leg, I'd prefer him not to heal from this wound. I took the shoes to the corner of the cell and sat on the cold cement floor, my wolf lent me her sharpened claws and I started shredding that leather, slowly and calmly.
"While I destroy these shoes, how about you tell me the truth? You seemed so eager to last time."
He chuckled in the darkening room, the sun had set and light was sparing but I had no trouble seeing in this gloomy prison. "Are you sure? You might wish different soon."
I nodded at him,"Oh yes...I'm all ears."
He panted out over the pain in his leg, every slight twitch would only pull on that cutting blade."You think you being with me was an accident? It was very much planned..."
A thump began in my heart, loud and distracting. That organ only telling me what I already knew; that truths would damage my fragile new life.
"What does a twelve year old girl know?"
I frowned and a heated flush started low and deep. One that grew and festered in time to my pounding heart.
"Nothing. That's what. Certainly not who her mate is when she meets his eye on one fate filled afternoon."
A breath left my throat in strangled sounds, choking, smothering in its realisation.
"A wolf of three hundred years old would surely be able to recognise that bond. Don't you agree pet?"
I nodded, yes of course he would.