Kristen’s mouth popped open and she cast him a look laced with surprise and guilt. She waved to the children lining up to come sit on their laps, then turned back to him once again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m really sorry.”
Noah leaned close to her ear. “When I lay there in the hospital bed, wondering if I would live or die, there was only one thing in this world that mattered. My brother. My family. Relationships, Kristen. Nothing else matters. Life is a big, colorful present, just waiting to be unwrapped... and enjoyed... with those around you.”
A young girl wiggled her way on to Kristen’s lap. “Do you believe in Christmas now, Mrs. Claus?”
“I think I’m starting to,” Kristen said, her voice soft, and gave the girl a slight squeeze.
Noah took a deep breath and wondered what had got into him. Instead of helping Kristen find happiness, he’d vented his own frustrations and made them both feel bad. Couldn’t they spend one day together that didn’t turn sour?
Kristen focused on the children, each one happy to see her. Each one anxious to share their Christmas list in hopes of receiving their heart’s desires. If only everyone could be so full of joy. If only everyone could be so cheerful and nice... as Noah.
She’d been wrong about him. Noah’s sweetness wasn’t fake. It was very, very real. His emotions were real, not hidden behind social masks or nuances. He was a real sweet Santa. Maybe she could try to be a real... sweet... Mrs. Claus.
“I like your pin,” one pig-tailed girl told her, “and I like you. You’re my best friend.”
“Your best friend?” Kristen laughed. “But you didn’t know me until today.”
“I know you now,” the child replied.
Kristen shared a look with Noah, who had overheard, and her heart turned over. Why did he suddenly look so different? Ashley was right. Noah was a very handsome man, with or without the white Santa beard.
When the school day was over, Kristen and Noah returned to the parking lot where they’d left his Jeep Cherokee.
“I want to apologize for earlier today,” Noah said, “when I-”
“No,” Kristen said, cutting him off. “I’m the one who needs to apologize. “I haven’t exactly been on board for this whole Santa and Mrs. Claus idea. I didn’t even think I liked you, but...” She touched his arm. “I know you now.”
Noah cocked his head to the side and gave her a wide grin. “Does that mean we’re best friends?”
Kristen smiled back, her heart beating faster. Now that she liked him, was it possible he could like her too?
On the third day of scheduled events, Kristen came to work with several slogans for the Children’s Center circling in her head. Kids connecting for fun, friendship, and adventure. Good food, fun, and friendship. Kids committed to peace, joy, and fun-filled opportunities.
Five minutes after she sat down at her desk, Noah walked in and placed a steaming cup of dark liquid on her desk.
Kristen sat up straighter. “Coffee?”
Noah shook his head. “Hot cocoa.”
“Thank you, but I think my brain needs caffeine.”
“I thought chocolate would be better for my new BFF. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine which stimulates the brain and gives one the same feeling as being in love.”
“Are you implying I’m the office Grinch?”
Noah grinned. “Nah. I always thought of you as the office Scrooge - but a very attractive Scrooge.”
“I am a Scrooge,” Kristen admitted. “I’m sorry if I haven’t been much fun.”
“Do you want to have fun?”
The sparkle in his eyes and the mischievous smile on his lips pulled the truth right out from under her, leaving her knocked down and breathless.
“Yes,” she said, “I do.”
“Then let’s make a pact. Our goal is to have fun no matter what happens today.”
“Okay,” Kristen agreed, but doubts whispered in the back of her mind. If only it were that easy.
After lunch, Kristen took extra care to put on the red Mrs. Claus dress with the red and white pin-striped apron. She tucked her long dark hair up into the white granny hat and adjusted the wire-rimmed glasses midway down her nose.
Leaning toward the bathroom mirror, she smiled at her reflection and wondered if she and Noah could get their picture taken together. Then she could show her brother on Christmas, because he wouldn’t believe her when she told him what she did this week.
The third event she and Noah were to attend was held at the Children’s Center - the same center for which she was trying to come up with an appropriate advertising slogan.
“Some of the kids come here after school because both of their parents work and can’t pick them up until later,” Noah told her. “And some of the kids come to escape family trauma at home. What they need most is love and attention, someone to talk to and believe in them.”
Kristen took a stocking filled with candy canes from the back of his car. “Just like we need kids to believe in us?”
“I believe in you,” Noah said, his gaze steady as he looked into her eyes.
Kristen hesitated. If Noah didn’t look so serious, she’d think he meant he believed in her as Mrs. Claus. But the intensity of his expression made her think he meant something more - like he believed in her as herself - Kristen.
When they arrived at the outdoor play area two of the Children’s Center coordinator’s were busy helping kids dress in wise men, shepherd, angel, and animal costumes. Three other coordinators were trying to corral the rest of the boys and girls into a group in front of a painted cardboard Nativity set.
“Look who’s here to watch our Christmas play,” one of the coordinators announced. “It’s Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus!”
The kids broke away from their assigned positions and ran toward them with cries of delight.
All except one brown-haired girl about nine years old who Kristen spotted sitting on the concrete, with her head part-way down, alone in the corner.
“Who’s that?” Kristen asked one of the women in charge. “Why isn’t that young girl in a costume?”
“Callista Weisburg,” the coordinator said with a frown. “We call her Callie.”
“I call her ‘iceberg,’” a boy beside them sneered.
“Tommy, that’s not nice,” the coordinator reprimanded.
“But it’s true,” Tommy said. “Callie Weisburg, sits on her iceberg, watching everyone else play. Not even a spider would sit down beside her, because she keeps to herself all day!”
Kristen stiffened at the revised nursery-rhyme insult and narrowed her eyes on the boy. “If you keep saying that, you’ll end up with coal in your stocking this Christmas.”
The coordinator gasped but Kristen didn’t care. She marched straight toward the young girl and sat down beside her.
“Hi Callie, I’m Kristen. Lately, people call me Mrs. Claus.”
Callie lifted her gaze. “Hi.”
“Don’t you want to be in the play?” Kristen asked.
“No,” Callie said, and glanced at the other children. “It’s better if I’m not.”
“How is it better?”
“The other kids don’t think I’m good at anything but homework. The less I’m with them, the less they can mock me and call me names.”
“I know,” Kristen said, and remembered the way she herself had hid away from the other kids at school for the same reason. “It hurts when the other kids think you are different or not good enough to be with them. They gang up on you and make you feel alone. So you keep to yourself and choose to be alone before they can make the choice for you.”
“Have you ever been alone?” Callie asked, shifting her position and looking straight at her.
“I’m alone all the time,” Kristen admitted, “and I discovered something this week.”
“What?” asked the girl.
“I don’t like it.”
Callie was quiet several seconds and then said, “What d
o we do about it?”
Kristen nodded toward Noah who kept glancing their way. “Do you see that jolly old elf with the white beard and the red suit? No matter what people say about him, he goes out of his way to help people. Even when they don’t deserve it, he greets people, gives gifts, and tries to be a friend. What do you think would happen if we did that?”
Callie looked at Noah, surrounded by the other kids. “Maybe other people would start to like us?”
“Even if only one or two people became our friends, don’t you think that’s better than being alone?”
“I do.” Callie got up off the cold ground and stood up. “Will you be my friend, Kristen?”
“I’d love to, Callie.”
Hand in hand, Kristen and Callie joined the other children. One of the coordinators found Callie an angel costume and placed her in a group with a few other girls. Kristen took a few moments to watch.
One of the girls said something to her new nine year old friend and Callie looked embarrassed. Then Callie said something back and the other girls laughed. Callie laughed too, and one of the girls looped their arm through hers.
“Are those tears I see in your eyes?”
Kristen brushed her eyes with her hand and heat rose into her cheeks as she looked at Noah, watching her. “I - I’m just so happy for her. She’s going to be okay. Happy.”
“What about you?”
All of the sudden Kristen burst into tears. “I want to be happy too. I want friends to talk to and do things with. I want my life to be different. I want to be different.”
Noah pulled the round metal ring out of his pocket and dropped it down the magical Santa string, where it swung back and forth like a holiday necklace. “You are different. You’re beginning to believe in Christmas.”
She dropped her chin. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“You don’t have to be alone anymore, Mrs. Claus. You’ve got me.”
“Thank you, Noah. I’d really like it if we were friends.”
“I’d like to be more than--”
“Shhh,” Kristen whispered. “The play is starting.”
Noah tried to concentrate on the kids in the play. They looked to him - Santa - for approval, which he gave with a smile, a wave, or a nod of his head. But all he could really think about was the way Kristen had connected with the girl and then broken down into tears. She did have a heart. A beautiful heart. A heart he’d like to get to know better.
He didn’t want this to be their last day together. He wanted to find out what ice cream she liked, what ideas she wrestled with at work, what she really thought about Mr. Vanderbilt behind his back.
More than anything else, he wanted to know what it would be like to kiss her.
He and Kristen watched the play and then listened to the kids rattle off the items on their Christmas lists. Noah exchanged several warm looks with Kristen during the afternoon, but time drifted slower than he would have liked, and it was a relief when the clock finally struck five-thirty.
“Today was fun,” Kristen said with flushed cheeks and an exuberant smile.
He paused under an arbor of twinkling lights next to the parking lot and pulled her to a stop beside him. “That’s because now you believe in Christmas.”
“Does this mean I won’t get a lump of coal in my stocking?”
Noah grinned. “It does.”
“What do you think Santa will give me?”
“Considering the location, I think there’s only one thing I can give,” he said, removing the white Santa beard from his face.
Kristen looked up, saw the mistletoe hanging above their heads and her eyes widened. But she didn’t protest when he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. In fact, she kissed him back. And her kiss was as soft and sweet as Noah had hoped it would be.
“Why don’t you come with me tonight?” he asked, pulling off her wig and freeing her beautiful long dark hair. “My family always has a big dinner on Christmas Eve, followed by Christmas carols around the neighborhood, games, treats... lots of cookies and fudge.”
Kristen shook her head. “I can’t.”
Noah kissed her lips again and then kissed her chin, her cheek, and the tip of her nose.
“How can Mrs. Claus turn Santa down on Christmas Eve?” he demanded.
Kristen laughed. “Mrs. Claus is always away from Santa on Christmas Eve. Santa has to go in his sleigh and deliver all the gifts to children around the world with his flying reindeer.”
“I could take you with me,” Noah said, dropping his voice. “Take a chance. Come with me. It would be an adventure.”
He watched an assortment of emotions play out over her face, but she shook her head once again and stepped out of his reach. “I have to spend Christmas with my own family.”
Noah wanted to tell her he understood, but he didn’t. He thought she’d changed, but maybe it was only temporary or she hadn’t changed enough. “Kristen, I--”
“Yes?”
He looked at her for several long moments, then he shrugged. “Call me if you change your mind.”
Kristen thought about changing her mind several times that night. Noah’s kiss was not the kiss of a Santa, not the kiss of a co-worker, or even a friend. Noah’s kiss was warm and soft and made her head spin off-balance and her heart clamor like a wound-up toy.
She thought about calling him Christmas morning, but when she reached for the phone, she realized she didn’t have his number. Besides, her family was expecting her promptly at noon.
Her mother greeted her at the door. “Your brother is here with his new girlfriend.”
“I take it from your tone that you don’t care for her?”
“I don’t know her well enough to form an opinion one way or the other.”
“Of course not,” Kristen said, and frowned.
The familiar route of neutrality that ruled most conversations in the Lockhart family suddenly felt... impersonal, and left her wanting more. Eager to meet the newcomer herself, she hurried into the living room.
“Kristen, this is Sue,” her brother introduced.
Kristen searched his face to see what he thought of his new girlfriend, but couldn’t find any answers there, either.
“Hi Sue!” Kristen handed her the brightly wrapped gift she’d picked up from the mall after leaving Noah at the Children’s Center. “I hope you like it.”
She’d thought about buying her brother’s girlfriend a sweater. A sweater was always a safe gift to give when you didn’t know someone. Then she remembered her brother telling her on the phone that his new girlfriend owned a horse.
“A horseshoe necklace,” Sue exclaimed. “How thoughtful of you, Kristen!”
Kristen opened Sue’s gift in return and forced herself to smile. Of course, it was a sweater.
In fact, she got three sweaters for Christmas. One from Sue, one from her aunt, and one from her own mother. And for the first time in more years than she could remember, she was disappointed.
“The caterers really outdid themselves this year,” her father commented.
Her father was right. The Christmas banquet could have served an entire homeless shelter and was pretty enough to have been laid before a king.
“I’ve hired them for New Year’s Eve,” her mother assured him. “Plan to be here at eight, Kristen.”
“I’m not coming.”
Both her parents stared at her as if she’d grown two heads. Even her brother put down his fork and looked her direction.
“What do you mean you’re not coming?” her mother asked. “We always get together New Year’s Eve.”
“Not this year,” Kristen said, and a warm tingly feeling swelled up inside her.
“Then what do you plan to do?”
Kristen smiled, thrilled that for once she didn’t have a plan. She looked at her mother and shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know.”
Monday morning Kristen couldn’t wait to get to work. She was so happy she’d get to see
Noah today that she greeted everyone she came into contact with. She greeted Jeff the doorman, Davie the busboy on the elevator, Emma the cleaning lady, and even Nicholas Holly, the plant guy. She greeted her co-workers one by one - handing out peppermint candy canes to all, even Mr. Vanderbilt.
“Kristen.” Mr. Vanderbilt pointed to the fellow beside him. “This is Barry Winters, head of the Children’s Center. He wants to know if you’ve come up with a slogan for the advertising campaign?”
Kristen handed Mr. Winters a candy cane as well. “How about ‘Fun, Friendship, and Unforgettable moments - The Children’s Center - Building a community where relationships matter.’”
Mr. Winter raised his brows. “I like it.”
“So do I,” Mr. Vanderbilt said, his face full of surprise.
Kristen smiled and made her way down the hall to find Noah, but when she arrived at his office, the door was locked.
“He’s not here today,” Mr. Holly informed her.
“Not here?” Kristen shook the doorknob again. “He has to be here. I can’t wait another whole day to see him.”
“He lives over on Thirty-fourth Street. Second house on the left. Blue mailbox.”
“You’re a saint!” Kristen exclaimed, handing him another candy cane. “Thank you, Nicholas.”
Kristen wished she could dash right over to Noah’s neighborhood, but she needed to put in a full day’s work first. And while she worked it snowed. When she stepped out of the advertising agency at six o’clock there was at least three inches covering the road.
Kristen got in her Mercedes wishing she owned a sleigh. The snowflakes grew bigger and came down faster and faster.
Please be home. Just please be home.
Her car slipped a couple times, but driving slow, she managed to turn on to Thirty-fourth Street without getting stuck. She didn’t know how she’d get back to her own house. All she cared about was seeing Noah.
Kristen spotted him standing along the edge of the street dressed in a blue ski jacket, jeans, a wool hat, and winter gloves and boots.
Love at Last Page 5