But there was Salla. Showing her Earth was like nothing you could ever imagine. For instance it never occurred to her that things could hurt her. Like the day I found her halfway across Furnace Flat, huddled under a pinion pine, cradling her bare feet in her hands and rocking with pain.
"Where are your shoes?" It was the first thing I could think of as I hunched beside her.
"Shoes?" She caught the picture from me. "Oh, shoes. My-sandals-are at the ship. I wanted to feel this world. We shield so much at home that I couldn't tell you a thing about textures there. But the sand was so good the first night, and water is wonderful, I thought this black glowing smoothness and splinteredness would be a different sort of texture." She smiled ruefully. "It is. It's hot and-and-"
I supplied a word, "Hurty. I should think so. This shale flat heats up like a furnace this time of day. That's why it's called Furnace Flat."
"I landed in the middle of it, running. I was so surprised that I didn't have
sense enough to lift or shield."
"Let me see." I loosened her fingers and took one of her slender white feet in my hand. "Adonday Veeah!" I whistled. Carefully I picked off a few loose flakes of bloodstained shale.
"You've practically blistered your feet, too. Don't you know the sun can be vicious this time of day?"
"I know now." She took her feet back and peered at the sole. "Look! There's blood!"
"Yep. That's usual when you puncture your skin. Better come on back to the house and get those feet taken care of."
"Taken care of?"
"Sure. Antiseptic for the germs, salve for the burns. You won't go hunting for a day or two. Not with your feet, anyway."
"Can't we just no-bi and transgraph? It's so much simpler."
"Indubitably," I said, lifting sitting as she did and straightening up in the air above the path. "'If I knew what you were talking about." We headed for the house.
"Well, at Home the Healers-"
"This is Earth," I said. "We have no Healers as yet. Only in so far as our Sensitive can help out those who know about healing. It's mostly a do-it-yourself deal with us. And who knows, you might be allergic to us and sprout day lilies at every puncture. It'll probably worry your mother-"
"Mother-" There was a curious pause. "Mother is annoyed with me already. She feels that I'm definitely undene. She wishes she'd left me Home. She's afraid I'll never be the same again."
"Undene?" I asked, because Salla had sent out no clarification with the term.
"Yes," she said, and I caught at visualization until light finally began to dawn.
"Well! We don't exactly eat peas with our knives or wipe our noses on our sleeves! We can be pretty couth when we set our minds to it." "I know, I know," she hastened to say, "but Mother-well, you know some mothers."
"Yes, I know. But if you never walk or climb or swim or anything like that what do you do for fun?"
"It's not that we never do them. But seldom casually and unthinkingly. We're supposed to outgrow the need for childish activities like that. We're supposed to be capable of more intellectual pleasures."
"Like what?" I held the branches aside for her to descend to the kitchen door, and nearly kinked my shoulder trying to do that and open the door for her simultaneously. After several false starts and stops and a feeling of utter foolishness, like the one you get when you try to dodge past a person who tries to dodge past you, we ended up at the kitchen table with Salla gasping at the smart of the Merthiolate. "Like what?" I repeated.
"Hoosh! That's quite a sensation." She loosened her clutch on her ankles and relaxed under the soothing salve I spread on her reddened feet.
"Well, Mother's favorite-and she does it very well-is Anticipating. She likes roses."
"So do I," I said, bewildered, "but I seldom Anticipate in connection with them."
Salla laughed. I liked to hear her laugh. It was more nearly a musical phrase than a laugh. The Francher kid, the first time he heard it, made a composition of it. Of course neither he nor I liked it very much when the other kids in the Canyon, revved it up and used it for a dance tune, but I must admit it had quite a beat …. Well, anyway, Salla laughed.
"You know, for two people using the same words we certainly come out at different comprehensions. No-what Mother likes is Anticipating a rose. She chooses a bud that looks interesting-she knows all the finer distinctions-then she makes a rose, synthetic, as nearly like the real bud as she can. Then, for two or three days, she sees if she can anticipate every movement of the opening of the real rose by opening her synthetic simultaneously, or, if she's
very adept, just barely ahead of the other." She laughed again. "It's one of our family stories-the time she chose a bud that did nothing for two days, then shivered to dust. Somehow it had been sprayed with destro. Mother's never quite got over the humiliation."
"Maybe I'm being undene," I said, "but I can't see spending two days watching a rose bud."
"And yet you spent a whole hour just looking at the sky last evening. And four of you spent hours last night receiving and displaying cards. You got quite emotional over it several times."
"Umm-well, yes. But that's different. A sunset like that, and the way Jemmy plays-" I caught the teasing in her eyes and we laughed together. Laughter needs no interpreter, at least not our laughter.
Salla took so much pleasure in sampling our world that, as is usual, I discovered things about our neighborhood I hadn't known before. It was she who found the cave, became she was curious about the tiny trickle of water high on the slope of Baldy.
"Just a spring," I told her as we looked up at the dark streak that marked a fold in the massive cliff.
"Just a spring," she mocked. "In this land of little water is there such a thing as just a spring?"
"It's not worth anything," I protested, following her up into the air. "You can't even drink from it."
"It could ease a heart hunger, though. The sight of wetness in an arid land."
"It can't even splash," I said as we neared the streak.
"No," Salla said, holding her forefinger to the end of the moisture. "But it can grow things." Lightly she touched the minute green plants that clung to the rock wall and the dampness.
"Pretty," I said perfunctorily. "But look at the view from here."
We turned around, pressing our backs to the sheer cliff, and looked out over the vast stretches of red-to-purple-to-blue ranges of mountains, jutting fiercely naked or solidly forested or speckled with growth as far as we could see. And lazily, far away, a shaft of smelter smoke rose and bent almost at right angles as an upper current caught it and thinned it to haze. Below, fold after fold of the hills hugged protectively to themselves the tiny comings and goings and dwelling places of those who had lost themselves in the vastness.
"And yet," Salla almost whispered, "if you're lost in vast enough vastness you find yourself-a different self, a self that has only Being and the Presence to contemplate."
"True," I said, breathing deeply of sun and pine and hot granite. "But not many reach that vastness. Most of us size our little worlds to hold enough distractions to keep us from having to contemplate Being and God."
There was a moment's deep silence as we let our own thoughts close the subject. Then Salla lifted and I started down.
"Hey!" I called. "That's up!"
"I know it," she called. "And that's down! I still haven't found the spring!"
So I lifted, too, grumbling at the stubbornness of women, and arrived even with Salla just as she perched tentatively on a sharp spur of rock on the edge of the vegetation-covered gash that was the beginning of the oozing wetness. She looked straight down the dizzy thousands of feet below us.
"What beautiful downness!" she said, pleasured.
"If you were afraid of heights-'"
She looked at me quickly. "Are some people? Really?"
"Some are. I read one, one time. Would you care to try the texture of that?" And I created for her the horrified frantic dying terror
of an Outsider friend of mine who hardly dares look out of a second-story window.
"Oh, no!" She paled and clung to the scanty draping of vines and branches of the cleft. "No more! No more!"
"I'm sorry. But it is a different sort of emotion. I think of it every time I read-'neither height nor depth nor any other creature.' Height to my friend is a creature-a horrible hovering destroyer waiting to pounce on him."
"It's too bad;' Salla said, "that he doesn't remember to go on to the next phrase, and learn to lose his fear-"
By quick common consent we switched subjects in midair.
"This is the source," I said. "Satisfied?"
"No." She groped among the vines. "I want to see a trickle trickle, and a drop drop from the beginning." She burrowed deeper.
Rolling my eyes to heaven for patience, I helped her hold back the vines. She reached for the next layer-and suddenly wasn't there.
"Salla!" I scrabbled at the vines. "Salla!"
"H-h-here," I caught her subvocal answer.
"Talk!" I said as I felt her thought melt out of my consciousness.
"I am talking!" Her reply broke to audibility on the last word. "And I'm sitting in some awfully cold wet water. Do come in." I squirmed cautiously through the narrow cleft into the darkness and stumbled to my knees in icy water almost waist-deep.
"It's dark," Salla whispered, and her voice ran huskily around the place.
"Wait for your eyes to change," I whispered back, and, groping through the water, caught her hand and clung to it. But even after a breathless sort of pause our eyes could not pick up enough light to see by-only faint green shimmer where the cleft was.
"Had enough?" I asked. "Is this trickly and drippy enough?" I lifted our hands and the water sluiced off our elbows.
"I want to see," she protested.
"Matches are inoperative when they're wet. Flashlight have I none. Suggestions?'"
"Well, no. You don't have any Glowers living here, do you?"
"Since the word rings no bell, I guess not. But, say!" I dropped her hand and, rising to my knees, fumbled for my pocket. "Dita taught me-or tried to after Valancy told her how come-" I broke off, immersed in the problem of trying to get a hand into and out of the pocket of skin-tight wet Levi's.
"I know I'm an Outlander," Salla said plaintively, "but I thought I had a fairly comprehensive knowledge of your language."
"Dita's the Outsider that we found with Low. She's got some Designs and Persuasions none of us have. There!" I grunted, and settled back in the water. "Now if I can remember."
I held the thin dime between my fingers and shifted all those multiples of mental gears that are so complicated until you work your way through their complexity to the underlying simplicity. I concentrated my whole self on that little disc of metal. There was a sudden blinding spurt of light. Salla cried out, and I damped the light quickly to a more practical level.
"I did it!" I cried. "I glowed it first thing, this time! It took me half an hour last time to get a spark!"
Salla was looking in wonder at the tiny globe of brilliance in my hand. "'And an Outsider can do that?"
"Can do!" I said, suddenly very proud of our Outsiders.
"And so can I, now! There you are, ma'am," I twanged. "Yore light, yore cave-look to yore little heart's content."
I don't suppose it was much as caves go. The floor was sand, pale, granular, almost sugarlike. The pool-out of which we both dripped as soon as we sighted dry land-had no apparent source, but stayed always at the same level in spite of the slender flow that streaked the cliff. The roof was about twice my height and the pool was no farther than that across. The walls curved protectively close around the water. At first glance there was nothing special about the cave. There weren't even any stalactites or stalagmites-just the sand and the quiet pool shimmering a little in the light of the glowed coin.
"Well!" Salla sighed happily as she pushed back her heavy hair with wet hands. "This is where it begins."
"Yes." I closed my hand around the dime and watched the light spray between my fingers. "Wetly, I might point out."
Salla was scrambling across the sand on all fours.
"It's high enough to stand," I said, following her.
"I'm being a cave creature," she smiled back over her shoulder. "Not a human surveying a kingdom. It looks different from down here."
"Okay, troglodyte. How does it look down there?"
"Marvelous!" Salla's voice was very soft; "Bring the light and look!"
We lay on our stomachs and peered into the tiny tunnel, hardly a foot across, that Salla had found. I focused the light down the narrow passageway. The whole thing was a lacy network of delicate crystals, white, clear, rosy and pale green, so fragile that I held my breath lest they break. The longer I looked the more wonder I saw-miniature forests and snowflakelike laciness, flights of fairy steps, castles and spires, flowers terraced up gentle hill sides and branches of blossoms almost alive enough to sway. An arm's length down the tunnel a quietly bright pool reflected the perfection around it to double the enchantment.
Salla and I looked at each other, our faces so close together that we were mirrored in each other's eyes-eyes that stated and reaffirmed: Ours-no one else in all the universe shares this spot with us.
Wordlessly we sat back on the sand. I don't know about Salla, but I was having a little difficulty with my breathing, because, for some odd reason, it seemed necessary to hold my breath to shield from being as easily read as a child.
"Let's leave the light," Salla whispered. "It'll stay lighted without you, won't it?"
"Yeah. Indefinitely."
"Leave it by the little cave. Then we'll know it's always lighted and lovely."
We edged our way out of the cleft in the cliff and hovered there for a minute, laughing at our bedraggled appearance. Then we headed for home and dry clothes.
"I wish Obla could see the cave," I said impulsively. Then wished I hadn't because I caught Salla's immediate displeased protest.
"I mean," I said awkwardly, "she never gets to see-" I broke off. After all she wouldn't be able to see any better if she were there. I would have to be her eyes.
"Obla." Salla wasn't vocalizing now. "She's very near to you."
"She's almost my second self."
"A relative?"
"No. Only as souls are related."
"I can feel her in your thoughts so often. And yet-have I ever met her?"
"No. She doesn't meet people." I was holding in my mind the clean uncluttered strength of Obla; then again I caught Salla's distressed protest and her feeling of being excluded, before she shielded. Still I hesitated. I didn't want to share. Obla was more an expression of myself than a separate person. An expression that was hidden and precious. I was afraid to share-afraid that it might be like touching a finger to a fragile chemical fern in the little tunnel, that there wouldn't even be a ping before the perfection shivered to a shapeless powder.
Two weeks after the ship arrived a general Group meeting was called. We all gathered on the flat around the ship. It looked like a field day at first, with the flat filled with laughing lifting children playing tag above the heads of the more sedate elders. The kids my age clustered at one side, tugged toward playing tag, too, but restrained because after all you do outgrow some things-when people are looking. I sat there with them, feeling an emptiness beside me. Salla was with her parents.
The Oldest was not there. He was at home struggling to contain his being in the broken body that was becoming more and more a dissolving prison. So Jemmy called us to attention.
"Long-drawn periods of indecision are not good," he said without preliminary. "The ship has been here two weeks. We have all faced our problem-to go or to
stay. There are many of us who have not yet come to a decision. This we must do soon. The ship will up a week from today. To help us decide we are now open to brief statements pro or con."
There was an odd tightening feeling as the whole Group flowed
into a common thought stream and became a single unit instead of a mass of individuals.
"I will go." It was the thought of the Oldest from his bed back in the Canyon. "The new Home has the means to help me, so that the years yet allotted to me may be nearly painless. Since the Crossing-" He broke off, flashing an amused.
" 'Brief'!"
"I will stay." It was the voice of one of the young girls from Bendo. "We have only started to make Bendo a place fit to live in. I like beginnings. The new Home sounds finished, to me."
"I don't want to go away,' a very young voice piped. "My radishes are just coming up and I hafta water them all the time. They'd die if I left." Amusement tippled through the Group and relaxed us.
"I'll go." It was Matt, called back from Tech by the ship's arrival. "In the Home my field of specialization has developed far beyond what we have at Tech or anywhere else. But I'm coming back."
"There can be no free and easy passage back and forth between the Home and Earth," Jemmy warned, "for a number of very valid reasons."
"I'll chance it," Matt said. "I'll make it back."
"I'm staying," the Francher kid said. "'Here on Earth we're different with a plus. There we'd be different with a minus. What we can do and do well won't be special there. I don't want to go where I'd be making ABC songs. I want my music to go on being big."
"I'm going," Jake said, his voice mocking as usual. "I'm through horsing around. I'm going to become a solid citizen. But I want to go in for-" His verbalization stopped, and all I could comprehend was an angular sort of concept wound with time and space as with serpentine. I saw my own blankness on the faces around me and felt a little less stupid. "See," Jake said. "That's what I've been having on the tip of my mind for a long time. Shua tells me they've got a fair beginning on it there. I'll be willing to ABC it for a while for a chance at something like that."
I cleared my throat. Here was my chance to broadcast to the whole Group what I intended to do! Apparently I was the only one seeing the situation clearly enough. "I-"
It was as though I'd stepped into a dense fog bank. I felt as though I'd gone blind and dumb at one stroke. I had a feeling of being torn like a piece of paper. I lost all my breath as I became vividly conscious of my actual thoughts. I didn't want to go! I was snatched into a mad whirlpool of thoughts at this realization. How could I stay after all I'd said? How could I go and know Earth no more? How could I stay and let Salla go? How could I go and leave Obla behind? Dimly I heard someone else's voice finishing:
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