by Dale, Lindy
“I don’t want to call it off. I want to go through with it.” I sound like I’m about to have my entire body tattooed in one sitting.
“Me too.”
“I’ve always been in.” Nicholas smiles and wraps his arm round my shoulder. “Maybe we can get Emily so pissed she passes out.”
Ha, ha.
“Fat chance. Emily could drink an alcoholic under the table.”
“Don’t sweat it. If it’s meant to happen it’s meant to happen.”
I’m well aware of that but now there’s a possibility it mightn’t, I feel extremely upset.
*****
It only takes five or so minutes before we see Emily making her way through the crowd towards us. It never ceases to amaze me how she can jump the queue when other people have to wait for hours; she has this knack of being able to talk her way around the gruffest of bouncers. It doesn’t surprise me either, that she’s wearing black. A gorgeous black, sheath dress with long sleeves and a high neckline. It fits her slim body like a glove showing off her curves. Emily’s got a great body, one that I freely admit to being covetous of. Frequently.
“Saaaaadie,” she squeals, running toward me with her arms outstretched. She swipes my drink from my hand, finishing it for me before swallowing me in a huge, tight hug. As she releases me, her eyes narrow. “My, my, aren’t you the picture of health and happiness. Positively glowing, which is good to see. It feels like a decade since I’ve seen you, honeybubble.”
“I’ve missed you too. Have you got everything organised for Uni?”
Emily snorts. We both know she’ll be dashing frantically about the place on the last day trying to hook herself up with textbooks she should have ordered two months ago. “Whatever. Hey, is that door bitch a cow or what? She wanted to check in my shoes for drugs. I mean, come on. As if I’d hide them there. That’s what padded bras are for. Well, that and giving the boobs a shelf to sit on.”
She laughs at the look on Joel’s face and hugs me again before pausing to appraise the two men standing beside me. Her attention focuses quickly on Nicholas who is regarding her with the wariness one regards a man-eating shark when in the water. “Well, heeeelloooo there.”
“This is Nicholas,” I say. “We met on the beach a few days back when my hat blew away in the wind.”
“Who said chivalry was dead?” She gives Nicholas her most perfect smile, the one she reserves for men she’s especially interested in. “So you’re the one she’s been going on about—”
And cue embarrassing redness of cheeks. Geez, I hate it when she drops me in it like that.
“And this is his friend, Joel,” I say.
Emily gives me a nudge in the side. “Hashtag, hottie,” she whispers before turning back to the boys.
“—I’m Emily. Sadie’s best friend and general bad influence. She tries to keep me on the straight and narrow but I’m a lost cause. I’ve never gotten over the fact that my parents neglected to tell me they’re not my parents, so I’m rebelling by spending as much of their money as I can before they realise and give it to the natural born siblings. They hate me with a passion this week, so it’s all perfectly fine.”
Behind my redness, I smile. “Emily’s also quite verbose and a dreadful liar. Her parents adore her. She’d never do anything to hurt them.”
“Don’t tell him that,” Emily scoffs, “You’ll ruin my reputation.”
“The only reputation you have is in your mind.”
“But I’d like to have one. Emily Matthews — ‘It’ girl. You know, like Gigi Hadid with hundreds of thousands of men drooling over my Instagram account.”
“Who?” Nicholas asks, clearly confused by this conversation. I don’t imagine rapid fire talking is something he comes in contact with a lot.
“Gigi Hadid’s a model,” I answer. “Absolutely gorgeous and in a league that’s not even on a planet with the rest of us mortals.” I turn to Emily. “Why would you want millions of men looking at you in your underwear, anyway?”
“Why not? Honestly, Sadie you’re such dag for someone so young. You need to live a little. Put yourself out there.”
“Sadie’s been doing a fair bit of that already —” Joel sniggers.
“I went sailing!” I interrupt him, not wanting him to regale the story of my naked bum and his surfboard.
Emily’s look is incredulous. “What, on a yacht? Like an actual boat with sails?”
“I know. Amazing, right?”
Emily stares at the boys. “Wow. Which one of you was responsible for this? Sadie’s never left land in her life. She doesn’t even go swimming unless she can touch the bottom.”
A little fact I’d rather she not have shared. Besides, I did go swimming. And I was really far out.
“I took Sadie on my yacht,” Nicholas says. “She was pretty good for a newbie. Fast learner.”
“It was fun,” I say.
Emily nods her head approvingly at me. “Go Sadie. I told you you’d enjoy these things if you’d only give them a chance. You can’t spend your entire life doing the same thing every day. Sooo boring.”
“But I like boring. It makes me feel safe.”
Emily rolls her eyes and turns to Joel. “See what I have to deal with? Hopeless.”
“Hey! I’m not hopeless,” I laugh.
“Topless maybe,” Joel murmurs.
“You’ve been sunbaking topless, too?”
“Well, not sunbaking exactly.” I didn’t have bottoms on at the time. “I tried skinny-dipping. That’s how I met Joel.”
“Sadie was doing her impersonation of a drowning naked person. I saved her.”
Emily’s eyebrows rise slowly into her hairline. She swallows in disbelief. “I leave you alone for a week and you turn into freaking Bear Grylls. Next you’ll be eating fried cockroaches and hiking up the Himalayas. What the hell’s come over you? I love it! And I definitely love you boys. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine Sadie Cooper would suddenly develop such an interest in water sports. Well, any sports really. She’s mostly a little homebody. This deserves drinks all round.” She shoulders Joel from his perch and orders a bottle of the best champagne in the club.
Imagine how she’d react if she knew I was considering a threesome.
*****
The night wears on, and I begin to despair that we will ever lose my friend. Not that I want to ‘lose’ her, I just want her to get super tired so she has to go home and fall asleep, not realising I’m not there with her. We’ve had fun though. We’ve laughed and gotten to know each other more. Emily has flirted with Joel — much to my thinly veiled disgust — and we’ve swapped dance partners and even danced as a foursome. We’ve drunk loads and yet there’s still no sign of Emily wanting to go home.
At sometime after midnight, Emily asks me to go to the loos with her. I know this is code for girltalk time and it takes a grand total of about twenty seconds before she brings up the subject I’m trying to avoid.
“So what’s the deal with Nicholas and Joel?”
“There is no deal. I met them both separately. I didn’t know they were friends until the other night.”
“But you’re into Nicholas?”
I can see why she’d assume this; he is the quieter one of the two. Joel would never have been my type in the ‘real’ world.
“I like him a lot. He’s sweet. I can talk to him.”
“So Joel’s single too?”
Oh no, I think I know where this is heading.
“Well, um, yeah.”
“And you wouldn’t find it creepy or breaking the girl code if I hooked up with him. I mean, I know you met him first and you have this friend thing going on but you’re into Nicholas right? I wouldn’t be hurting you, would I?”
What do I say to that? Yes, you would be hurting me? Yes, I like Joel the same as I like Nicholas? You need to back off because I’m going to have it off with both of them and I have no intention of sharing?
“Um, it might not be a good idea. I
t could be awkward.”
“Why? If we were going out it would be great. We’d be friends and couples.”
“Joel’s gay.” I’ve blurted it without even considering the ramifications of what I just said but honestly, it’s the only thing I can think of that will throw her off. God. I’m such a bitch. I should let my best friend have the boy I want. I mean, there are two of them. It’s very selfish of me to want them both.
But I do. I do.
“Gay?” Emily’s face is a picture. I don’t know what of. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope. Nicholas told me. Camp as a row of tents.”
“Maybe he told you that because he wants you for himself and sees Joel as a threat?”
This lie has suddenly grown legs and is sprinting down the track.
“I doubt it. They’re best friends and Nicholas isn’t the type to sabotage a possible relationship. If he thought I liked Joel more than I liked him he’d bow out. I’m sure of it. It has to be true.”
“That’s annoying.”
I feign sadness for my friend. “Yeah. Bummer.”
“And so typical. The best men are always gay or married. That’s why I get stuck with the dregs. Thank God I got the heads up before I put the legwork in. It’d be such a waste to spend the entire night flirting like mad with a guy who has no interest.” She shakes her head in resignation. “I could have sworn he was straight though. I was getting the vibe.”
“Your radar must be off. You have to remember the last two guys you went out with weren’t exactly nice in the end. Maybe you need a bit of time without a boyfriend. You know, to get your head together and see things in perspective again. I know how hurt you were last time. I couldn’t bear for that to happen. You deserve to be happy.”
I sound so shallow and two-faced. I genuinely care about Emily and want her to be happy. Just not with Joel. Or Nicholas.
“You know, you’re right.”
“I’m always right when I’m giving you advice.” It’s a pity I never take my own.
The door to the toilet stall opens and a girl appears. She’s adjusting her teeny tiny dress and swaying slightly on her heels as she moves to the basin to wash her hands and refresh her lipstick.
“I’ll meet you back in the bar,” I say as Emily locks the toilet door.
“Okay,” I hear her call.
Hopefully, she’ll be putting on her makeup for at least five minutes so I’ll have time to let Joel know he’s a very happy gay man who has no interest in girls at all. I have no idea what he’s going to say.
*****
Nicholas is cracking up. His head is bent back, his mouth is open and he’s laughing so hard he’s almost shaking.
“It’s not funny,” I say. “I couldn’t think of anything else.”
“I’ve never met anyone less gay than Joel. You could have told her he had a girlfriend.”
“I doubt that would stop her, the mood she’s in. I wouldn’t put it past her to come out here and try to crack on to Joel to turn him straight.”
I realise it sounds like I’m being mean but Emily does latch onto men. Even she knows she does. It’s like she’s always searching for approval. I don’t know why. She’s smart, funny and a great friend. She doesn’t need to prove anything. Yet for some reason, she needs the security of a man to make her feel loved and whole.
“Do you think I should ham it up?” Joel asks. “I’m sure I could perv convincingly on a few blokes if I try. It can’t be that hard, can it?”
Nicholas laughs again. “What? Like ‘nice arse’ or ‘check out the legs on that’?”
“I don’t think we need to take it that far,” I admonish. “I feel bad enough as it is without your contribution to the scam.”
“You do realise you’re gonna owe me for this?” Joel steps very close. I feel his hip touching my side. His body heat mingles with mine as he puts his lips to my ear. “Big time.”
I lower my voice to meet his. “And how do you propose I pay you back?”
“I’m sure I can think of something. Later.”
A delicious shiver runs down my spine.
Around about then, Emily reappears. It’s been a good ten minutes and she’s grinning cheekily; despite the fact that I’ve just informed her that the man she wants is off limits. Then I see the reason why. Between the loos and the bar, my best friend seems to have acquired a male friend of her own. He’s very sophisticated looking and like her, entirely in black — sooty hair, black shirt and shoes. He’s even got the tight black pants Emily finds so adorable on a guy, not jeans but actual expensively cut trousers.
“This is Alex,” Emily says. “He’s a graphic designer.”
Figures.
“Alex, this is my best friend Sadie, and this is Nicholas and Joel.”
Everyone shakes hands, has a drink, talks about stupid stuff you talk about when you meet someone for the first time. We move on to the latest bands, which of us has tickets to what music festival over the summer and the places we like to eat in the city. Throughout the entire conversation there’s a hand on my bottom, caressing it and I’m assuming it’s Nicholas’ —seeing that Joel’s gay— but either way I don’t care, it’s turning me on something shocking. I can feel the excitement building with each tiny squeeze, every subtle rub of flesh over cloth.
Then we dance and it’s subtly sexy. Emily is so engrossed with Alex she hasn’t seemed to twig that I’m doing the threesome version of Dirty Dancing and at one point I mistakenly kiss Joel because I’m feeling so turned on. At least I hope she didn’t notice, because in the very next instance I seem to be kissing Nicholas. The whole thing is like a blur of bodies and lips and I’m loving every minute. Finally, we’re so sweaty it’s time to call quits on the dancing so we head back to the bar and Emily sends Alex to order another round. I raise my eyebrows in her direction while his back is turned.
“He seems nice,” I mouth, nodding.
“And sooo cute,” she mouths back and moves closer to me so we can put our heads together. “Not a sign of arsehole so far,” she whispers.
“That’s great.”
“In fact, I’m thinking he and I need to go somewhere so we can get to know each other a little better.”
“Oh Emily, you’re not going to shag him are you? You promised you’d stop hooking up with random boys. You’ve only just met.”
“I wasn’t thinking anything of the sort… for a change. What I meant was that maybe I could coax him into going for a walk on the beach or something. You know, to talk. Do you think he’d be up for it? He won’t see it as an invitation to throw me in the sand and have his way with me, will he?”
I glance over to the bar where Alex is paying for drinks. He’s been very attentive to Emily. “I don’t think so. If you let him know you want to take things slowly I think it’ll be okay—”
As opposed to myself who is about to have my way with two men.
“—But can you text me and let me know what you’re up to?” I add. “So I know you’re safe? I mean, Alex seems nice, but people can change once they get in the dark and I don’t want you out there alone without me knowing where you are.”
“Yes, Mum.”
“The key to the cottage is under the frog statue near the front steps, if you get home before I do and there’s a spare toothbrush in my bag if you need one.”
“I’m not gonna ask why you brought a spare toothbrush.” Emily smiles. “You’re the best friend ever.”
I give her a hug. “Be safe.”
“I will.”
“And have fun. But not too much.”
Emily goes to the bar and whispers something to Alex who quickly distributes drinks and then yanks her out the door as if he’s been waiting for the invitation for hours. At last, Nicholas, Joel and I are alone… in a crowd of, oh, two hundred or so. The only impediment to my night has been removed. There are no more excuses.
I turn back to find the boys standing there looking at me. And the look I’m getting is te
lling me they’re thinking the same thing I am.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The trip from the bar to my place takes no longer than six minutes but it feels like the longest walk of my life. The boys have made small talk the whole way but it’s not helping. Even being insanely smashed is not helping. The butterflies are back and this time they have teeth. They’re gnawing at my insides inflating the indecision I thought I’d so cleverly squashed. I’m soooo nervous.
Okay. That’s an understatement. I’m freaking out, packing it.
As we walk, Nicholas takes hold of my hand. His skin is warm and his palm soft. He looks down into my eyes; his own filled with a mix of desire and understanding. I feel calmer. Well, not as likely to throw up. The nerves are still there, I mean, I’ve never done anything like this before so I suppose it’s understandable. But, somehow, just from the way he’s looking at me I know it’s okay and I definitely know I want to do it. It’s the getting started part that’s the most difficult.
“It’s okay, Sadie,” Nicholas says, softly. “We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”
I squeeze his hand. I can’t speak. I’m overwhelmed by the fact that even though he knows I’m a sure thing he’s letting my feelings be the guide for this. He’s not pressuring me into anything.
On the other side of me, Joel is quiet, too. He’s walking very close, I feel his arm graze mine every now and again and I wonder what’s going on inside his head. Is he jealous that Nicholas is holding my hand? Is that why he’s so quiet when he’d usually be making some silly joke? I don’t want him to feel that way. I want us to be okay. I slide my free hand into the back pocket of his jeans. I can feel the firm muscles of his butt moving as we walk. He clenches them on purpose under my fingers and I catch a glimpse of his cheeky grin. There’s nothing wrong. He’s simply going with the flow, letting this thing we’re starting run its course.
We reach the beach gate and I remove my hand from Joel’s pocket to unlatch it. As I do, I stumble on the step, partly because it’s dark and partly because I may be a little drunker than even I realised. Instantly, there are two sets of hands on my body, steadying me, and as I right myself Joel moves in front of me leaving Nicholas to take up the rear.