by Dale, Lindy
“I love you Sadie.”
I know he means it.
The sex goes on for what seems like hours and at last we lay sweaty and sated on the bed. I have no idea how we got here but the sheets are tangled at our feet and our clothes are a trail along the floor. Our fingers are entwined. The ghost of Nicholas, the love of both our lives is purged. I feel good about this, no longer guilty. I know he wanted us to be together. I think that now we will. Without the guilt, but with all the love.
“What happens now?” I ask. Clearly, we live in different places. A long distance romance won’t work.
“We could have more sex.”
“Funny haha. I meant with us.”
“Do you want to be with me? You won’t run away again or spout more crap about ghosts and guilt?”
“No. I want to be with you. It’s lonely without you. But I don’t want to move from The Bay. I’m building a life there. It’s a good place for Nicky.”
“It’s lucky I sold the business, then. Now I can come live with you. I always wanted to be a kept man. I think it’d suit me.”
Hang on. Rewind that thought.
“You sold Hardwick & Lawson? But why? You love that place. You built it with Nicholas.”
“And it’s not the same without him. I’ve tried to make it work but he was the creative brain. It was always more his baby than mine. I hate being there now, so I’m going to stay until the Iris Project is completed and we put up a plaque in his honour, then I’m out of there. I might do the odd consultation but that’s about it.”
“How will that work with the new owners?”
“I sold it to Nick’s dad at a reduced price. One of the conditions is that Nicky have a share of the company if he ever wants it.”
“Oh Joel. You’d do that for us, give up the thing you love most?”
Joel rolls to his stomach. His fingers cup my cheek and he leans in to kiss me. “How many ways do I have to say it? I’d do anything to save a drowning girl. You’re my little mermaid.”
“You better get your butt over here then, Neptune.” I giggle and pull him to me.
“Why?”
“‘Cause this little mermaid wants to swim in your pool of love.”
Oh my God. Did I just say that? Did I?
CHAPTER TEN
The sea is calm and clear as Joel throws the anchor overboard and returns to sit beside me. A perfect sunset has shown itself on the horizon, its purple, violet and orange hues spreading across the cloudless sky. “Ready?” Joel asks.
I nod and pick up the urn. Beside me Nicky, celebrating his first birthday, sits solemnly on the cushion in his tiny orange life jacket. His big blue eyes— those of his father— blink up at me. He seems to understand this is a special moment; that this is not a time for jumping and running about. There’s plenty of time for the air to fill with his laughter later on.
This moment is about Nicholas.
Earlier, I set the sails and raced about the deck, making sure everything was where it should be. From his place in the cockpit, Joel steered the Constance toward the headland with one hand, under my direction. His other arm held Nicky. He looked so proud, so content.
“You’ve done it, Ariel,” Joel said, as I leapt into the cockpit beside him. “Nick would be proud. You did what you said you would.”
“There was never any doubt.”
“There would have been a couple of years back.”
True.
Back when I met the boys I was scared of life. They taught me to live and love, to take a chance. From the moment we kissed I knew my life was about to change, that something was in the air. And it’s been a life full of trials, some good, some particularly sucky.
With a kiss to Joel’s lips, I open the lid of the urn and slowly tip the contents over the side into the ocean. The breeze picks up the ashes and sends them onto the waves. Nicholas is dancing on the water again. He’s riding the crests. Now he’ll do it for eternity. I hope I’ve made him happy. “Goodbye my love,” I whisper. “I’ll never forget you.”
Beside me, Joel has poured three shots of tequila. We raise a glass to Nicholas and gulp it down. “Thanks mate,” he says.
I frown at him. “Thanks mate?”
Joel tosses the third tequila into the ocean for his friend. “If it weren’t for Nick I would never have met you. He knew how much I loved you and he gave you back to me.”
We pull up the anchor and sail back to shore and as the sun shimmers and sinks behind the horizon I’m reminded of the times the three of us spent together. What we shared was truly remarkable but the best is yet to come.
THE END
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