What was going on? Normally, she would hate even the idea of some guy she barely knew touching her. Normally, she would never get herself into such an intimate situation. Someone was bound to get hurt—and it would be all her fault.
“My friend told me your mom is one of her professors,” she said after clearing her throat.
He slid his finger from her arm and she wished he would put it back. “Who’s your friend?”
“Tam—you invited her. She’s eighteen, you know? I just saw her a minute ago and she was, uh, drinking.”
That was right. Rat out Tam. Avery tried to push down the guilt rising in her gut.
Jordan looked away, deep in thought. “Black curly hair?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t invite her.”
So, Tam had lied. Why was she not surprised? She realized she was chewing on her pinkie fingernail and ripped it away from her mouth. “How did she know about the party?” she asked.
“Oh, I told her about the party because she asked what I was doing tonight. But I didn’t tell her where it was, and I didn’t invite her. She was waiting for me outside her class. We talked for a few minutes and that was it. She’s your friend, huh?” He didn’t seem impressed.
Avery rolled her eyes and leaned back into the sofa. “No, not really. It’s a long story.”
He grunted and looked at his shirt. “Hey, do you mind if I go change real quick?”
“No, that’s fine. Sorry.”
“Not a big deal, honest. I might be a few minutes while I find Tam and kindly invite her to leave. The cops usually show up here at least once during the night—not that I’m breaking any laws. Well, not intentionally, at least.” He stood and looked down at Avery. “I’ll be pissed if this ‘friend’ of yours gets my ass busted for serving alcohol to minors. My dad would take this house out from under me in two seconds flat.”
“You sure I’m okay here?” Avery asked as her heart began slowing to a normal pace. For the first time in her life, someone she liked preferred her over Tam. It was a strange feeling and it made her lighthearted.
“No, you’re fine.” He gave her a longing look before he walked away.
She picked up her Coke and took a sip. The football game had absorbed everybody else in the room, so she zoned in on it too. She was afraid if she left she wouldn’t be able to find Jordan again.
Then, from outside the room, someone yelled, “Hey, Joel! You gotta see this!” and in a flash of heat, she second-guessed herself. Was his name Jordan? Or was it Joel? Or was his name Owen? Owen sounded like Jordan, at least in her head. She vaguely remembered an Owen from somewhere. It was the O she remembered for sure. She clenched her teeth together. Damn it. She hadn’t brought her notebook. It was nuts how fast she could forget a name, how she thought she had it and then it sank into the nether like a bowling ball thrown into the sea.
8
Avery’s Coke was mostly gone when a figure stepped into view and leaned down. “Remember me?” he asked.
She smiled at him in the semi-darkness. Square features, blond hair. He had changed his shirt into a blue button-down, leaving it untucked. He must have a whole closetful of those button-downs. Avery had to admit they looked great on him.
“Of course I do,” she laughed, setting her Coke on the end table. There was no way she was going to tell him she had suddenly forgotten his name. She was pretty sure it was Jordan, but that seed of doubt had been planted and she didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of him. Jordan. Joel. What did it matter? She’d look it up in her notebook when she got home. Until then, she could avoid saying his name.
“I was thinking,” he said, sitting next to her. “You want to go upstairs for a bit? There are some empty bedrooms up there.” He reached out a hand and brushed some hair away from her cheek. “If you’re interested, I’m game.”
She had to admit the offer was tempting. No guy had ever invited her “upstairs for a bit.” She was pretty sure he meant sex. Either that or a lot of kissing and messing around. Her heart pounded and her surprised expression must have been more of an invitation than she thought, because before she could answer one way or another, he grabbed her hand and led her out of the room. She followed him through the crowd and up the stairs, wondering what she was about to get herself into. He tugged on her hand.
“Come on,” he laughed. “What’s the matter? I’ve seen the way you look at me.”
She frowned, wondering if he meant when their hands had touched or just now or some other time. “The way I look at you? What do you think I want?”
He let go of her hand and folded his arms. The music was loud and the hallway in front of her was dark. There must have been three bedrooms up here. One door was closed and two were open.
“I’m sorry,” he said, leaning against the wall as he looked at her. “I thought this might be okay with you. I hardly know you, but I’ve never had someone look at me the way you do. It’s like … like you’re trying to tell me something, or memorize everything about me. It’s mind-blowing, all right? I haven’t been able to get you out of my head for days. Seeing you here is sending me over the freakin’ edge.”
She didn’t know what to say. Did she look at everyone that way? Was it because she was trying to sear their faces into her memory so she didn’t feel like a fool next time she saw them? Probably. Maybe everything with him was a mistake. He must think she was some spectacular girl who wanted to give him the moon. In reality, she would forget he even wanted the moon.
“Are you uncomfortable?” he asked as worry crept into his expression. “Do you want to …?” He motioned to one of the open bedroom doors. For all she knew, it was his bedroom. He looked so sincere, so hopeful, as if they had made plans to do this a week ago and she was pulling out.
“I’m not sure,” she answered truthfully. “I mean, I’ve never done … I mean … gone that far.” Oh, shut up already and get into the bedroom.
But she couldn’t. She had to at least know his name for certain.
“I don’t want you to think I’m not interested,” she said slowly. “It’s only that we hardly know each other, so I—”
“No, I get it,” he laughed. “I just assumed, you know, you come to a party like this for a few reasons, and, well … how about we start slower, then?” He took the one step remaining between them and wrapped his arms around her. She had to admit it felt good.
Pulling her into the shadows of the hallway, he backed her up against a wall and leaned his weight into her. She vaguely remembered the first time she’d seen him on his porch, the hint of strong, lean muscle beneath his suit. He was a runner, she was sure of it. She liked the way he felt against her. He was pushy, but holding back at the same time. As much as she thought she might feel threatened in such a situation, she felt safe. A smile lifted her lips. Her breath caught in her throat.
“One kiss?” he asked tenderly, inching his mouth toward hers. “Then you can decide from there?”
He smelled of alcohol. When his lips touched hers, she was lost in a wave of sensations. She’d only kissed a guy once before—Ryan—and while it had been one of the most amazing experiences of her life so far, how it ended had forever tainted the memory for her. But this kiss was deliciously untainted, his lips soft against hers, parting her mouth ever so gently. And then his tongue brushed against hers and it was different from how Ryan had done it. Not necessarily better, but this was strangely addicting and arousing, especially in a dark hallway with the possibility of more to come. She kept herself steady and in control, kissing Jordan or Joel or whatever his name was, trying to learn what to do as it all unfolded around her in a quiet, slow explosion of pleasure.
“So?” he asked, pulling away all too soon. “What do you say?”
It was obvious he knew how good the kiss had made her feel. Maybe he was a little too cocky, but right now she didn’t care. She realized she’d folded her right leg around his left leg. The bedroom was sounding like a great idea.
He leaned close to her ear as he trailed a finger down her arm to her hip. It tickled and turned her on at the same time. “So are you,” he whispered. “What do you want to do?”
What did she want to do or what should she do? Her head started to spin.
“Nobody’s ever told me they like how I look at them,” she said, avoiding his question. “You’re the first.”
His smile faltered. “So you look at everyone that way.”
Oh, crap. Backpedal. Back, back, back. “No … I mean, uh, I want to look at you in the way you think I looked at you. I’m definitely interested, if you couldn’t tell already.”
He wet his lips and nodded. “Oh, I can tell.”
She kissed him again, this time eagerly. There was something about him that felt sincere and real. But she didn’t want a one-night fling. She wanted a real relationship. Then again, she should probably get his name right if she wanted a real relationship.
“I want you,” he whispered as he pulled away from the kiss. Too soon once again. He brushed his lips across her cheek, up her temple, across her forehead. “You smell so good.”
She grabbed a fistful of shirt at the small of his back, fighting the intense need to drag him into a bedroom right that second. “You do too,” she sighed, “but is that the only reason you want me?”
He grinned and then turned serious. “Hell no. It’s everything about you—everything I know so far, anyway. This dress you’re wearing”—he touched the plunging neckline—“your hair”—he moved his hand up to push her bangs a little off her forehead—“the way you’re sober, unlike anyone else here. You taste like Coke and vanilla. Everything about you is different,” he whispered. “Different, as in genuine … distinct. You’re so quiet and deliberate. I like that.” He brushed his lips across hers, but the touch didn’t melt into a kiss like she wanted it to.
She watched as his mouth drifted away from her. “Nobody’s ever said anything like that to me before,” she said, breathless.
“Sounds like I’m the first for telling you a lot of things. It’s because nobody has ever looked at you. I mean, people can look at you and never even see you, right?”
That was how she’d felt her entire life, and now here she was in a place she thought she’d never be, kissing a guy who really saw her.
“Are you saying all that because you want something from me,” she asked seriously, “or because you really are interested in me? You didn’t waste any time pulling me up here.”
He backed away a fraction of an inch. “I really am interested,” he answered. “I mean, I want you, but …” He looked into her eyes, his expression softening “You’re more than a good time at a party. I want to know everything about you, if you’ll let me.”
Avery had to catch her breath before speaking. “Tell me everything about you, too?”
He smiled, kissed her, and then pulled away so he could look into her eyes. “I guess a proper introduction might help, right? I’m Kent. I don’t think I’ve caught your name in class.”
Kent …
She was in so much trouble.
* * *
It didn’t take long for Avery to figure out her error, especially when Jordan came up the stairs after she told Kent her name. He didn’t look her way, and she realized he was on his phone, listening intently. He entered a bedroom and closed the door.
Kent. Kent. Kent. Where had she heard that name? He was entirely new to her. He had said “in class.” What class had she seen him in?
Then she remembered Monday, the guy she’d sat next to. Elbows. Long eyelashes. That was Kent. From English. Here she was thinking he was Jordan. Now Jordan was in his bedroom talking to someone. He’d probably gone looking for her and she had disappeared. So who had she seen at the hot dog truck? Had that been Jordan? Or Kent? They both had blond hair and similar body structures. They both had sharp features. She might never know who that had been at the hot dog truck.
“What’s the matter?” Kent asked. She was still wrapped in his arms. He smelled good and there was no mistaking she was attracted to him … but which parts of him were Jordan in her head? She had really screwed up this time.
“You know,” she finally answered, “I’m not feeling … I don’t know …” Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away. “I don’t know what I want,” she muttered. More like who she wanted.
Kent tried to look her in the eyes, but she moved her head farther away. She felt so stupid, like she always did when she made a mistake of this magnitude. She really liked Jordan, and now she really liked Kent. Jordan was her neighbor and Kent sat next to her in class. There was no avoiding either of them.
“I’ve gone too far, haven’t I?” Kent asked, his arms loosening around her. He swore under his breath. Of course he thought this was his fault. He had no idea what it really was.
“No, no, no,” she said quickly. “It’s not you, I promise. I like you a lot, and I still want to get to know you—”
“But you want to go slower, I understand.” He gave her a little squeeze. “How about we go out sometime soon? We can trade numbers and find a night that works.”
She almost let out a loud sigh of relief. If she took this one step at a time, she might be able to figure it out. “That works,” she answered. “Thanks.”
“So, do you want to, uh … stay here or go downstairs?”
She let out her breath. “I think I’ll head home. The music is starting to give me a headache.” She felt like she was going to fall over. What if Jordan came out of the bedroom and saw her with someone else? Which was ridiculous. She wasn’t even with Jordan. It wasn’t like she was cheating on him.
“No problem. Do you need a ride?”
“I live right next door,” she laughed. “You can walk me home if you want.”
“Oh, cool. Wait, do you know Jordan, then?”
Jordan’s name was confirmed. That was good. Apparently, everyone knew Jordan. “A little bit,” she answered truthfully. “I haven’t known him long.”
I thought he was you.
“Awesome. He and my dad are friends, so we’ve known each other for a few years.”
Stepping away, he motioned for Avery to walk around him. Once they were outside, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and steered her through the crowd. She pointed to the path leading to Chloe’s house, and they slipped through the brush.
“Convenient,” Kent said as he walked her to the porch. “You can hop on over to Jordan’s parties anytime you want.”
“If he invites me again,” she laughed, trying not to sound too off-kilter. She was still shaken up about leaving the party without saying goodbye to Jordan. She would have to text him later.
“You can be my date if he doesn’t invite you, how’s that?”
“Works for me.” But did she really mean that?
“Can I get your number?” Kent asked as he pulled out his phone. “Avery …”
“Hollister,” she answered, and told him her number after pulling out her phone from her clutch. She then pushed the buttons to add a new contact. If he was in her phone, she was much more likely to remember him. Duh! Why hadn’t she thought about looking Jordan up on her phone when she couldn’t remember his name? She scrolled through her contacts and found him. He hadn’t given her a last name.
“Mine’s Russell,” Kent said, making her cringe inside. She hated last names that sounded like first names. It always messed her up. She entered his full name and number into her phone.
“I’m dead serious,” he said. “I want to get together soon. Class doesn’t count.”
She pulled out her keys, but paused before opening the door. She turned to him, studying his face before glancing down at his hands. Yep, she recognized them. They were a good medium size, and now she knew how incredible they felt when they touched her. All his fingernails were neatly chewed. That meant the hot dog truck guy
must have been him. She remembered seeing chewed fingernails.
“Okay, class won’t count,” she said, smiling. She grabbed her phone again and pulled up her calendar. “How about the same night, though? I have to work until six.”
He nodded. “Do you want to get dinner?”
She imagined Chloe slaving away in the kitchen. “No, I’ll eat here. It’s important to my aunt for us to eat together, even if she won’t admit it. Is that okay?”
“No problem.” He leaned against the door and put his hands in his pockets, looking as casually confident as she wanted to feel. “I’ll plan something fun. Around eight okay?”
“Perfect.”
He leaned forward before she unlocked the door, sweeping her into his arms to give her a final kiss goodbye. She savored it, wishing it could last longer until he pulled away and touched her lips with a finger. “See you Monday in class, Avery Hollister.”
She watched him disappear through the brush, her breath stuck in her throat. Of course she liked Kent, but she was still reeling from how Jordan’s touch had made her feel too. Hurrying inside, she rushed to her room and pulled open her notebook to write down every detail before it all slipped away.
9
Last Year
Avery watched Ryan all through dinner, wondering why he was wearing a Marines shirt when Victor wasn’t even his real father. She wondered where his real father was, whether he liked Victor as a stepfather, whether he was planning on going into the military too. She had so many questions about him and she didn’t know why. It wasn’t as if he was important to her, or connected to her father in any way. She was pretty sure he was far more interested in Tam than he was in her, so what did any of it matter? Unless he might make a good friend. There was always a shortage of those in her life.
After dessert and coffee, they all played a game and then sat around talking as the minutes ticked by. Avery lost track of time, completely forgetting about the party as Ryan sat next to her on a sofa in the corner of the living room. They were far enough away from their parents that they could have their own conversation.
If I Forget You Page 6