by Matthew Fish
“Fuck,” Mark said as the injury burned from a combination of the liquid and the pressure.
“Now, Maddie, if you could hand me the needle and thread,” Grandma Fran said as she took the items and began to stitch up Mark’s wound as he looked blankly to the bookshelf at the far wall.
“What was your old Spotter like?” Amelia asked as she watched the old woman work. She had never seen someone get patched up before—her father had a man shoot her once when she was around thirteen, but he just let the wound heal on its own. It was one of the worst days of her young life. The pain lasted for hours until she finally passed out, unable to take it any longer.
“He was a good man, strong too,” Grandma Fran spoke as she tied up a small length of thread. “He once flipped over a Buick on its side for us to use as cover, quite handy with a rifle as well.”
“My sister is a spotter—not the one that’s out cold over there, but my older one,” Amelia spoke as the old woman put her items back into her case and slid it back behind the couch.
“I’m sure she’ll make for a very good one,” Grandma Fran said as she folded her arms to her side. “Did Christopher not return with you?”
“He didn’t make it,” Maddie whispered.
“I see,” Grandma Fran spoke as her face drained of all color. “I asked him to watch over you, Mark—whenever you were supposed to go back into the field. He was a good young man. He visited the house and dropped supplies off—always asked me about how it was to be a Conductor in the old days…he will be missed. “
“I didn’t know him that long,” Mark admitted as he thought back. He had only spoken to him a few times, yet still he had done so much. He had ensured that Mark would leave safely form the meeting with Cain—it ended up costing him his life. “He watched over me, he was a much better Conductor than I will ever be.”
“Do not say things like that,” Grandma Fran spoke sternly as her wrinkled face turned sour. “You dishonor his memory. He believed in you.”
“He shouldn’t have,” Mark muttered.
“Come…Amelia is it?” Grandma Fran spoke as she placed a hand upon the short girl’s back. “Let me tell you about how life was for a Conductor in the old days. Mark here needs some time to be alone—he’s suffering from a very large case of self-pity.”
“Alright old lady,” Amelia said as she shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t be all speaking to me like I’m a kid though, I may be short, but I’m sixteen.”
“Anyone under forty is a youngster to me,” Grandma Fran replied as she escorted Amelia out of the room.
“Let me help you up to bed,” Maddie said as she took Mark’s hand into hers. She looked over to Emily—she was covered. At least she would be warm when she finally came around in the morning.
“Alright,” Mark said flatly as he stumbled for a moment and got to his feet.
Mark did not speak a single work as Maddie placed her arm around his shoulders and helped him ascend the spiral staircase. She carefully escorted him to the bed as he collapsed onto the soft surface and lay there motionless as he stared up at the ceiling. Maddie searched through one of his drawers and pulled out a plain white t-shirt. She pulled up at Mark’s shirt until it was clear and she discarded the blood stained, long-sleeved shirt into a large waste bin by the door. She helped Mark into his new, clean shirt and then sat down on the bed beside him. She glanced over her shoulder and saw his eyes open wide. His lips were pressed tightly together and his face was completely emotionless. It eerily reminded Maddie of Jenna’s blank look just before she grabbed for an arrow and buried it into her chest. The memory sent a slight chill down the length of her spine as she let out a sigh.
“Mark…” Maddie whispered. “I know you well enough to know that you’re blaming yourself for this.”
“I just…yeah, you’re right,” Mark said as he continued to stare up at the white ceiling overhead. The grey sunlight came through the window and illuminated the surface revealing small cracks and shapes that his mind began to interpret as small pictures. If he looked the right way, he could almost make out a face of some sort, or a bear—it was just a simple trick of his mind. He realized he was spacing out as he quickly began to speak once more. “I am.”
“You can’t do this to yourself,” Maddie said as she took Mark’s hand and placed both of her hands atop his. “Since we’ve come here, we’ve lost a lot of friends. Bradley, Caesar, Justin, Christopher, Jenna—even, in a way, Cain. I don’t know if that axe drove him mad, or—it just happened. I remember the first time we faced him and I was terrified of him. I was relieved when he was on our side. He had so much power—maybe even too much power. Regardless…those people all died, but we still have each other. I could not go on if I lost you, or Emily.”
“I just keep thinking through that conversation over and over. I should have said something different; I shouldn’t have pushed him when I had decided he had gone too far to be saved. I was too damned confident with that stupid nail, if I hadn’t been so naïve I might have noticed, or I should have brought a backup in case I missed. A great man is dead now, and a talented Elemental…possibly one of a kind.”
“You can’t change what happened,” Maddie said as she shook her head. “You know, Mark, there’s a reason why I didn’t want to go through Montana when we were travelling—when Emily had said something about me seeing my home…Well, it’s not there anymore. It burned down when I was fourteen. I told you when we first met that my father trained me as a Conductor—he only did so for a year. There was a terrible fire, it was a dry year—lightening hit near the house. I got out, my mother convinced me to jump from my second story window—she went back for my younger brother and sister as the house exploded. I don’t remember anything after that. I was knocked unconscious…I just remember waking up and my family was gone. I was sent away to school to become a Conductor. It still doesn’t feel real to me, so…I guess I changed the story in my head—but I know in real life…I can’t. I can’t change what has happened. That’s why I am sad that we’ve lost so many. But, I consider you and Emily my family now. As long as I still have you two, everything will be alright.”
“I’m sorry Maddie,” Mark said he rested his free hand upon her back. He thought to mention that Caesar had spoken of her loss—but ultimately decided that it would only diminish her finally telling the story herself. “We are a family, and we will not lose each other…though we seem to be rather cursed when we are here.”
“Let’s leave this place then,” Maddie said she turned to Mark and a single tear traced down her cheek. “We have money, we all have each other. Let’s just head back out there into the world before we lose anything else.”
“But, what about Lily…?” Mark said as he remembered their bond of friendship.
“I hate to say it, but…fuck Lily,” Maddie said as she began to weep. “Let William handle this place, and let Lily handle herself. It doesn’t’ have to be us.”
“We owe it to her to help her—Caesar thinks that she might be in trouble again.”
“But…do we owe her our lives, unconditionally?” Maddie said as she wiped away the tears from her eyes.
“No,” Mark said as he rubbed Maddie’s back. “I’ll tell William that we’re done. No more missions—no more Conducting. We will stay for a while and figure things out and then leave. Maybe take Amelia with us, the kind of life we’ve lived here is no life I’d wish upon anyone.”
“I don’t want to run away from our problems,” Maddie said as she closed her eyes. “I just…feel like we’ve done enough. Maybe I’ll feel more of a sense of that old Conductor pride and duty after a day or two—but right now; I just don’t have it within me. It’s like a fire that’s been put out.”
“It’s understandable, completely…really,” Mark said as he let out a long sigh. “Every time before we’d head off into a dangerous mission, Emily would ask why we just didn’t leave. Why did it have to be us that had to save the day? After everything we went through with the
whole…Ankou thing, I stopped having reasons to give her.”
“It’s good to know I’m not alone with these thoughts,” Maddie said as she nodded. “I’m going to go and visit with Amelia and your grandmother. Get some sleep, the sooner you do—the faster you’ll stop being in pain. Thanks for…listening to me. I know why we do what we do. I just, I just don’t feel it anymore.”
“You have every right to not like it,” Mark said as he closed his eyes. “Just as you have every right…to well, feel the way you do. We’ll talk more in the morning. This whole getting shot thing…it’s getting old too.”
“Sleep well, Mark.”
Chapter 5
Lily and Sun stood at the edge of the forest. Their backs pressed against a tall evergreen, the ground around them covered in a thick layer of fallen needle-like, brown, spines. It was a cold and cloudy evening. The setting sun was barely visible behind a thick haze of grey.
“What if they do not come?” Sun asked as he placed his hand upon the tree and looked out to the large open field. “Perhaps they could not make it through.”
“Do not lose hope,” Lily spoke as she covered herself with her old robe as the air grew even colder. A low rumble came from the woods in the distance as Lily pulled her bow from her shoulder and allowed her hand to linger upon her quiver.
She stepped out and into the field just as a large group of thirty or so White Stags appeared from the thick forest. They bounded and darted through the field as the air was filled with the sound of galloping beasts, constant like a drumbeat. They encircled her as she placed her bow on her back. Sun emerged from the woods in the form of the stag and Lily climbed atop him and looked to the group. In a high, raised tone she spoke loudly to the group. “The future is lost to us, Cernunnos will rule—he will kill all those that oppose him. His army will wash over this world until none remain but his followers. He sees only one solution and that is to force the population of the Earth to heel to his rule, or die. I know that there must be another way. We must find those in the past that will help us. We shall face Cernunnos in a different time and place the fate of the world back into the hands of its rightful inhabitants. We do not fight for a grand false cause as Cernunnos does—we fight on the side of life and nature.”
“We are with you,” A woman spoke as she emerged from the circle.
“Mother,” Lily whispered as she climbed down from Sun and embraced Elise. “It is good to see you again.”
“I am deeply proud to see you become the woman you have grown into,” Elise said as she smiled. “Our numbers are only at thirty-one, but if we can help in any way, we will.”
“It is not much further now,” Lily said as she nodded. She smiled as she looked to each member of the circle. “I have friends who will help me figure out how we will put an end to Cernunnos’s rule—we will send him back to his rightful place in the Otherworld.”
Lily embraced her mother once more before she climbed back atop Sun and led the small army through the forest. The group of stags running together sounded like the low rumble of a distant thunderstorm as they approached a road. A shimmering passage filled the view ahead as Lily lowered herself against Sun’s body. Sun arched back and launched through the passage as she felt the pull and push as she found herself in a dark field of high grass. Fireflies danced around the evening summer air as the group emerged and swiftly continued onward.
2015
“Mark, “Emily spoke as she staggered into the bedroom and collapsed upon Mark’s formerly sleeping body. “I don’t remember much but, fuck all if what I do remember is pretty fuck awful.”
“Yeah,” Mark said as he wrapped his arms tightly around Emily. “We lost Christopher—then Jenna brought the whole building down and killed herself with one of Maddie’s arrows.”
“Cain…is he…?”
“Dead,” Mark said with a single nod. “Maddie got him.”
“Is she doing alright?” Emily asked as she attempted to remember the encounter. She remembered the terrible pain as Cain’s blade sliced into her—twice. She could feel the confusion and fear as she passed out. After that, it was all blackness—until she woke up alone and confused on the couch in the entryway.
“Physically she’s fine,” Mark said as she pressed his lips against Emily’s forehead. “She does not want to be a Conductor anymore. No more missions, she wants to leave here soon. She feels that we’ve lost too much, that she could not stand to lose either of us—she came clean about what happened to her family….that we were her new family and she would not lose us as well.”
“Can’t blame her,” Emily spoke as she reached to her hoodie and felt a long open cut in the fabric. “The three of us have gotten by, luckily, but…that’s going to run out at some point. We can’t keep doing what we’re doing and expect to not continue to experience loss.”
“I know he’s busy, but I’ll call William—let him know what we’ve decided,” Mark added.
“Emily!” A voice shouted as the door flew open. Amelia climbed atop Emily and squeezed her tightly. “You gave me quite a scare, bitch!”
“Settle down you little twat-waffle,” Emily said as she hugged her sister tightly. “I’m fine. If you plan on sticking around with William—it’s something you’re going to have to get used to. Probably will happen to you one day…Well, not the getting cut up part—but the bullets.”
“Sorry you got shot in the tit,” Amelia spoke as she contained a stifle of laughter.
“You find that funny, do you little-shit?” Emily spoke as she grabbed a hold of Amelia’s head and rubbed her knuckles against her head. “I’ve been shot before, but fuck…that was not fun.”
“Stop messing up my hair, twat-face,” Amelia said as she bit down on Emily’s arm and released herself from the hold. “You’re just jealous of my beautiful blue hair.”
“You don’t like my hair?” Emily asked as she grew offended and poked Amelia in the ribs. “It’s got a little everything, some blonde, a bit of light pink, and some teal—it’s a contrasting colors thing.”
“Em,” Maddie said as she entered the room and nodded. “It’s good to see you well again.”
“Don’t get all emotional and shit Maddie,” Emily said as she reached up and gave Maddie a hug. “I’m fine. I have some patchwork to do on my favorite hoodie, that pisses my nits off a bit, but I’m no worse for wear.”
“Amelia,” Maddie said as she turned her attention to the young girl dressed in her white hoodie and wearing a long blue skirt with white leggings. “How’d you like to come with us soon—we’re headed out at some point, probably west again?”
“Taking another vacation already?” Amelia said as she cocked her head to the side. “I’m going to stay—work for William for a bit, it’s still kinda fun for me, you know. I’ve got a talent that’s actually useful. Besides, Grandma Fran isn’t bad to hang around, even if she’s a bit old and smells like it as well. But, yeah, Felecia needs me. You’ll come back and visit though right?”
“Of course,” Maddie said as she nodded. She felt bad that she no longer had even the slightest amount of enthusiasm that Amelia still held within her.
“We’ll visit when it’s warmer—fuck this winter shit,” Emily said as she rested her elbow on Amelia’s shoulder. “This place is just too damned depressing in winter.”
“I like winter…it’s my favorite season,” Amelia said as she shrugged. “I don’t mind staying here…it’s a nice place. Interesting, but nice…”
William arrived a little past noon. As he entered Red Manor he pulled his gloves off and sat them upon the glass table. The sky had opened up and dumped quite a large amount of snow overnight. It was rather unusual for mid December, usually the heavier snows did not start until after the New Year. He pulled off his heavy soft long-coat and folded it beneath his arm. He nodded to Grandma Fran as he walked to the dining room. Mark, Emily and Maddie sat there.
“Sorry I am a bit late,” William spoke as he pulled out a chair across from t
he three. “The highways are a bit of a mess—these early snowstorms always put a strain on our salt reserves.”
“Thank you for coming,” Mark said as he nodded. “I know that you must be very busy with the whole…mess that happened yesterday, but yeah, we needed to talk to you.”
“It is not as bad as I thought. Sinkholes have been popping up in the news recently—took out a Corvette Museum earlier this year, and it was not a huge stretch to say that a sinkhole took out the building. Rescue efforts are going on during the night to pull Perpetuals out of the building—they will be watched. Green Bay was kind enough to lend us two Conductors; apparently they’ve had an influx and much less violence up there.”
“And what will become of the Perpetual Council?” Maddie asked as she folded her hands beneath her chest.
“Well…I suppose that the Departments of Perpetuals affairs all across North America and Europe will have to do and act according to what they feel is right. I believe that, in honesty, the entire institution of the Perpetual Council was just a corrupt force of politics anyway. Perpetuals who go down the wrong path will still be handled; I will still strive to keep peace in my area of Chicago. I have already started acting on the idea of bringing the Mortal police force more onboard. I was skeptical that Cain could change much, but hopeful. If he was falling into the old routine, then I suppose it was just something we did not need any longer,” William said as he looked to Mark and cracked his knuckles. “So what is the situation here—is there some new danger I should be aware of?”
“Actually,” Mark said as he hesitated for a moment. “We…we’re done with the whole Conductor thing. All three of us are resigning.”
“I see,” William said as he let out a short sigh and pulled his head back allowing his neck to crack. He rubbed his hand against a shoulder as he allowed the statement to sink in. “I cannot say that I blame you, though it does make me very sad to hear it.”