I smile at him. "You're not afraid of the dark."
"Maybe I'm afraid to let you go."
I look up and see the seriousness on his face. He's getting too attached to me, which makes me sad because I don't want to hurt him.
"What are you talking about?" I say in a cheery tone, trying to lighten the heaviness in the air. "I'm not going anywhere."
"But you will, and when you do, I have a feeling you won't tell me where you're going."
I don't respond because it's probably true. When it comes time for me to move on, there's a good chance I'll leave without telling him goodbye. It sounds harsh, but it'll be better that way. A clean break so he can move on with someone else.
"That's what you're going to do, isn't it?"
I pull my hand from his. "I don't know."
"Hey!" a guy says. I look over and see him coming toward us. He's wearing a puffy jacket with a fur-lined hood.
"What do you need?" Miles asks, taking my hand back and pulling me closer.
"Got a pretty gift for your lady," the guy says, taking something from his pocket.
"No thanks." Miles keeps walking, gripping my hand tighter.
"Wait up, man!" the guy says. "You haven't even seen it yet."
The guy's voice sounds familiar. As he approaches us, I see who it is.
"Levi?" I say, trying to see past his furry hood.
He looks at me. "Raine?"
"You two know each other?" Miles stops walking, still holding my hand.
"Unfortunately," I mutter. "Levi hangs out by that office building that looks like it has mirrors on the side."
"Are you the guy who sings?" Miles asks.
"That's me." Levi sings a line from a song, extending the last note to show off his vocal talents.
"You're really good," Miles says.
"Don't flatter him," I say, rolling my eyes. "If you do, he'll never leave you alone."
"She's just jealous I'm successful and she's not," Levi says to Miles.
"If by successful you mean reselling stuff you stole," I say.
"You don't know shit, girl. I only sell the best, and it ain't stolen. Like this here watch." He holds it out in front of us. "Found it on the street but it's like brand new."
I lean closer to look at it. "That's mine!" I whack Levi's arm. "You stole my watch!"
He rears back. "I didn't steal it. I found it."
"Really? And where exactly did you find it?"
"By the garbage can in the park. I swear, girl, I didn't take it."
"Did he?" Miles asks me.
"No." I sigh. "I lost it. It must've fallen off my wrist when I was digging in the trash can."
"Give it back," Miles says to Levi.
"Hell, no. I found it. It's mine now."
"But it was Raine's first, so give it back."
"It wasn't mine," I say. "I found it too. He can have it."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I don't need it."
Levi slips the watch back in his pocket. "So what's up with you and the guy?" He winks at me. "You finally take my suggestion?"
"No! And I never would! I'd rather starve than do that." I pull on Miles. "Let's go."
We start walking.
Levi follows beside us. "No really, what's going on here? Is this a date?"
"It's none of your business," I say. "Just go away."
"Hey." Levi points at Miles. "I've seen you before. You work in that building next to the Italian place, right?"
"Yeah? So?" Miles stops at the intersection and pushes the walk button.
"What's a guy like you doing with her?" Levi points to me.
"Just ignore him," I say.
Miles turns to Levi. "Raine is a friend, and one of the best people I know. And if you keep talking about her like you did just now, you'll be losing more than that watch you took from her." He gets up in Levi's face. Miles is much taller than Levi and has a lot more muscle.
Levi backs away. "Hey, man, I never stole that watch. She said it herself."
The walk signal lights up.
"Let's go," I say, tugging on Miles' hand.
He gives Levi a look of warning before crossing the street.
When I look back, Levi's heading the other direction.
"You're not friends with that guy, right?" Miles asks.
"No. We just run into each other on the street sometimes."
"I don't like him, and I really don't like what he was trying to imply about you."
"That's just Levi. You just have to ignore him."
Miles glances at me as we walk. "Do a lot of people out here do that?"
"What? Sell their body?" I shrug. "I don't know. I don't ask. I try to keep to myself. When I see other homeless people I go the other direction. Gladys is the only person I really talk to, or Levi, but that's only when he's on my street." I pause. "Levi does it."
"He sells his body?" Miles asks, sounding surprised.
"He'll sell anything, including his body."
"And women really want that?"
"Not women. Men." I smile and nudge his side. "Women don't have to pay for sex."
"That's why I was confused. Huh. I didn't think Levi would do that."
"You'd be surprised what people will do when they're desperate, although I think Levi actually likes doing that. At least that's what he says. He only does it with rich guys who have great style. His words, not mine. A lot of these guys are married with kids. Being with Levi is some kind of weird fantasy for them. I don't get it."
"I don't either." Miles stops by a coffee shop. "Want to go in? Grab a coffee? Or maybe an apple fritter?" He smiles.
"I'd love one but I'm too full. And I don't think they have them here."
"Then we'll go to the other coffee shop. We'll go in the morning and get them while they're fresh."
I'm about to tell him for the millionth time to stop buying me stuff but I know he won't listen and I really would love an apple fritter in the morning.
When we're back at his apartment, it's after ten. He goes to the fridge to get a bottle of water.
"Want one?" he asks.
"I think I'll just go to sleep." I head to the couch.
"Raine, you're not sleeping there. Go up to the bed."
"I can't let you sleep on the couch. This is your place. You get the bed."
"Or," he sets his water down and comes over to me, "we could share the bed."
"Like people do when they're dating?" I raise my brows. "Did you forget we're not dating?"
"I didn't forget. But I don't see anything wrong with sharing a bed. You share a bed with Gladys every night. Just pretend I'm Gladys."
I laugh. "You're nothing like Gladys. Not even close."
"So pretend we're having a sleepover. Nothing has to happen," he smiles, "unless you want it to."
Of course I want it to. Sex with him was amazing and I'd love to do it again, but it'll only make me more attached to him.
"I'm going upstairs," I say, deciding not to address the sleeping arrangements.
When I get to his room I take my jeans off, then slip into his soft sheets, my head sinking into the down pillow.
A few minutes later, I hear him come upstairs. Then I feel the bed move as he gets in.
"I didn't say you could sleep here," I say, my back to him.
"You didn't say I couldn't." His arm goes around my waist. I should get up and go downstairs to the couch. But I can't make myself do it. This feels way too good.
"Goodnight, Raine," Miles says, pulling me closer.
"Goodnight."
We fall asleep, and in the morning when I wake up, he's not there.
"Miles?" I call out.
"Downstairs," he calls back. "Wait there. I'll be right up."
I sink back into the warm comfy bed, pulling the covers over me. I haven't slept that well in years. I didn't wake up one time the whole night. In the tent, I wake up several times an hour, hearing noises and having to check that Gladys and I are safe. Gladys ca
n sleep through anything so I act as the watchman at night.
"Hungry?" Miles asks, appearing next to the bed. He's holding a plate with an apple fritter and a cup from the coffee shop.
"What's this?" I ask, sitting up.
"Breakfast. I can make eggs too but you can start with this."
"I don't need eggs." I take the plate and cup from him. "This is plenty." I sip the drink. "Pumpkin latte?"
"Yeah. You ordered it the night we met so I got you another one. Did you want something else?"
"No, I love these but they're really expensive."
"Don't worry about it. I'll be right back." He goes downstairs then returns with his own pastry and coffee. "Breakfast in bed," he says, sitting beside me.
"Thanks, but you didn't have to do all this. When did you get up? I didn't even hear you leave."
"I got up at six and went down to the gym to work out. Then I showered and got dressed and went to the coffee shop."
"You did all that while I was sleeping?"
"Yeah. You were out cold. I didn't want to wake you. You needed the sleep. I'm guessing you don't sleep much in the tent."
"Not really." I bite into the fritter. "Oh God, this is so good."
He chuckles. "Funny. You said the same thing last night when we were..." His voice trails off.
I smile. "Just so you know, the sex was better than the fritter."
He smiles back. "That's saying a lot, given how much you love those things. By the way, I've got six more downstairs."
"Why'd you get so many?"
"Because I know how much you love them." He sets his coffee on the nightstand and leans back against the headboard, stretching his legs out on the bed. "So what do you want to do today?"
"I thought I'd just go home."
"Why would you go home?"
I shrug. "Don't you have things to do?"
"I could work, but I don't want to."
"Don't you have to?"
"I'd rather do something with you." He turns to me. "How about a movie? It's supposed to rain later. Rainy days are good days for movies."
"I can't, but you could go." I set my plate down and lick the sugary glaze off my fingers.
"Want another?" he asks.
"I'll save them for later. That'll be my lunch."
"Let me take you out. I've been wanting to try this Mexican place by the mall. Now I finally have someone to go with."
"Miles, you can't keep doing things with me. You're not going to make any friends if you're always hanging out with me."
"I already made a friend. We're friends, right?"
"Yeah, but I mean friends who are more like you. People who have jobs and apartments and cars."
"Having that stuff doesn't mean I'll want to be friends with them."
"I know, but those are the people you need to hang out with." I push the covers back and get out of bed. "Mind if I take a shower?"
"Go ahead. It's yours whenever you want it. Same with the washer and dryer. You want me to go back to the tent and get the rest of your clothes so you can wash them?"
"Maybe." I glance around for my jeans. I find them on the floor and pick them up. "Or just wait until I'm done showering. I'll go get them myself."
"I might as well get them while you're in there."
It's not worth arguing about so I nod and say, "Okay."
He comes up to me. "About what you said earlier. How I need to find other friends? It's true, but that doesn't mean things will change between us. Even if I get out there and meet people, you and I will still be friends. I'll still be showing up in the alley trying to help you and you'll still be telling me to get lost."
I smile. "Sounds about right."
His hand wraps around mine. "I like you, Raine, probably more than I should. More than you want me to. That's not going to change."
It will. He just doesn't want to believe that yet. But it will. When he makes new friends, starts going out with them, meets a new girl he likes, everything will change.
21
Raine
After the shower, I go out to the living room just as Miles is getting back.
"Any special instructions?" he asks, holding my clothes up. "Or should I just toss them in?"
"Just toss them in. And hey, thanks for doing that."
He heads down the hall to the washer while I go upstairs to get dressed. I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday since my other ones are now in the wash. I didn't bring extra clothes because I didn't think I'd stay here last night. I'd planned to sleep in the tent, but the thought of going back there just wasn't appealing when I had a warm soft bed waiting for me at Miles' place. And I didn't want to leave Miles. I'm getting attached to him, which I know is bad but it's how I feel. I tell myself it's because Gladys is gone so I've made Miles my replacement until she's back. But I know that's only part of it. My attachment to Miles is because I care about him, maybe even love him.
"Raine?" Miles says from the bottom of the stairs. "You dressed?"
"Yeah, what do you need?"
He runs up the stairs to the bedroom, his phone in his hand. "Just got a text from Zoe. She's going to stop by the tent today to get more of Gladys' stuff. She asked if we want to meet her there."
"Is she bringing Gladys?"
"Not sure. I'll ask." He texts Zoe and waits for her to text back. "She said yes and that she wants to see you. I assume she means Gladys."
"Did she say what time?"
"Noon, but she wants us to confirm we can be there."
"Tell her yes."
He texts her, then walks up to me and gives me a hug.
I hug him back. "How'd you know?"
"How'd I know you needed a hug?" He hugs me tighter. "I could tell. I know you think I don't know you, but I do."
"I know you do. I find it annoying."
He chuckles but keeps me in the hug. "It's going to be okay."
"Maybe for Gladys but not for me."
"You don't know for sure she won't be coming back."
"She won't. Zoe won't let her. She loves her too much to let her go back on the streets. It took Gladys getting sick to make this happen and now that it has, Zoe won't let her be out there again."
"I know it'll be hard to adjust to her being gone but it'll be so much better for Gladys to be in a warm house. A real bed. Have food to eat."
"I know all that but it doesn't make it any easier." I pull away from him and walk to the window. "I'm being selfish. I know I am, but it doesn't change how I feel. I'm so freaking mad right now."
"At Zoe," Miles says.
"Yeah. And stop reading my mind like that. It's weird."
"I'm not reading your mind. I just know how you feel. When someone takes away the person you love, even if it's for a good reason, you get angry. It's totally normal. I'd be angry too."
I squeeze my eyes shut, tears threatening to fall. "She's all I had."
Miles comes up behind me, wrapping me in his arms. "I'm sorry, Raine. I know it hurts to have her gone."
"What if I never see her again?"
"You will. If you want me to drive you to see her every single day, I will. I promise."
I turn and hug him. I love him for saying that. And for helping me through this. Making me feel better. I think I really do love him. I feel like I do but I've misread my feelings in the past so I can't be sure what I'm feeling is real. But it feels like love, and it feels more real than it ever felt with Rob.
Miles and I spend the morning lounging on the couch, watching TV, then just before noon, we head to the alley to meet up with Zoe. She's pulling up when we arrive. I race over to her van and open the passenger door. Gladys is there, dressed in a warm wool jacket with a scarf and a hat. Zoe must've given her that because she didn't have it before.
"Gladys!" I help her out of the car and hug her. She smells nice, like floral scented soap instead of the musty smell I'm used to. Her white hair is clean and has been cut short in a style that looks really good on her. Her eyes are
bright and her cheeks have color. She looks so much better. She looks happy, and best of all, healthy. It proves how much she needed this. How much she needed to get off the streets.
"I missed you, honey," she says, squeezing me tight.
"I missed you too." I pull back. "You look great, Gladys. I love the hair."
"Zoe's sister did it for me. She's a hairdresser at the mall."
"She did a good job. It looks great."
"She'd cut yours too if you want," Zoe says, smiling at me. "Free of charge. Whenever you want to go, just let me know."
She opens the side door of the van and two little girls hop out and attach themselves to Gladys, one on each side.
"Careful, girls," Zoe says, laughing. "You don't want to knock her over."
"These are my little helpers," Gladys says, smiling down at them.
"She reads us stories," the littler girl says. She looks to be about four, with blond pigtails and a puffy pink coat.
"We made cookies," her sister says. She's probably six or seven with long blond hair and a pink coat that matches her sister's.
"We brought some for you." Zoe reaches in the van and hands me a plastic container. "They're chocolate chip. The girls' favorite."
"Thanks," I tell them.
The girls glance at me, then smile up at Gladys. I can tell they love her. They just met her and they already love her. I love her too, which is why it's so hard to tell her goodbye.
"Let's go get Gladys' things," Zoe tells the girls. They follow her as she walks to the alley.
"I'll go help," Miles says, giving me time alone with Gladys.
As he walks away, she holds both my hands and smiles at me. "You look good, Raine."
I nod. "You too."
"Honey, you don't have to pretend with me. I know you're upset."
"I'm not upset." I wipe my eyes and force out a smile. "This is what's best for you. You shouldn't be out here anymore. It's too cold. Too dangerous. I'm happy you found a place."
"I haven't just yet. Zoe's still trying to find me a home. She said there's a woman at her church who might take me in. She's a widow living in a large house and could use the company. She wouldn't even charge me rent."
"That's great, although I think Zoe would rather have you stay where you're at. Her kids seem to really like you."
Gladys' smile widens. "Aren't they precious? I love spending time with them." She squeezes my hands. "Enough about me. Let's talk about you. Are you and Miles...seeing each other?"
Home With You Page 19