Dawn took a deep breath and smiled, though it looked a little wobbly. “If you have to go, you have to go. We can get together another time. Maybe this weekend. But I have to tell you I’m very disappointed. I spent a lot of time preparing this meal for you. And you never said we weren’t dating anymore.”
“No, I didn’t.” Why couldn’t he just tell her? He needed to really, truly, once and for all break it off with Dawn. He just didn’t know if he could do it. It had been painful enough for them both the last time when he’d only said he wanted to date someone else.
“I would really appreciate it if you stayed for dinner, John.”
She looked up into his eyes, and he could see the hurt there, hurt that he’d caused her.
He forced a smile. This was harder than he’d ever imagined. She waited without speaking, and the silence got to him. “I’d love to have dinner with you, Dawn.”
She smiled, radiantly happy at his words. “I’m so glad.”
So much for telling the truth, for finding Lori and taking her to dinner, for escaping. He’d just have to hope Lori would wait for him. And that she wouldn’t ask too many questions when he showed up late, because he wouldn’t be able to lie to her.
As Dawn motioned him to a seat and served him a grilled steak, baked potato, and salad, he struggled to come up with the right words to use to break things off. Tonight. Right now.
Finally, halfway through his steak, baked potato, and salad, he couldn’t wait any longer. He had to say something. “This is delicious.”
That wasn’t going to help matters. He paused, hoping for inspiration that didn’t arrive. The pause lengthened uncomfortably.
Quietly, she placed her fork on the table and folded her hands in her lap. “But . . . ?”
“I’m very sorry. I’m dating Lori now,” he blurted out, glad he’d said the words at last. He let out a long breath. He stood up clumsily, nearly knocking over the chair. He had to get out of here.
“We talked about that last time, and I’m trying to adjust to that reality. You don’t have to remind me over and over. It’s hard enough to deal with.” She stood and touched his sleeve.
Oh, no. He had to say it again, had to use different words, because she hadn’t understood. Would this nightmare never end? He stayed standing and took a step away from the table. Away from her. “No. I mean I’m dating her . . . exclusively.”
She blinked her eyes and bowed her head.
Oh, please, he thought, don’t let her cry.
But she didn’t cry. Instead, she seemed to pull herself together with great dignity. She walked toward her front door, opened it, and turned back to him.
“Perhaps you’ll change your mind after she’s returned to New York. When you do, I’ll still be here.”
He walked toward her, toward the open door, toward escape.
As he stepped within inches of her, Dawn lifted her chin and looked him straight in the eyes. “In the meantime, I’m not going anywhere. I love you, John.”
~
Fifteen minutes later, John stood on Lori’s front porch. The El Camino sat in the open, detached garage, so he figured she was home. He was so glad he’d finally told Dawn the truth, even if he hadn’t been able to convince her he really meant it. He’d finally had to just say good-bye and leave her in the past.
And now he pushed the bell for what he hoped could be his future. His inability to commit had disappeared about the same moment as he’d met Lori.
Standing on the porch, he appreciated the light breeze. The day had been a scorcher, even for early August, but no more so than his talk with Dawn.
He wouldn’t accept any more invitations from Dawn—to help or to do anything else—and Lori didn’t need to know about this time, either. Though she might be upset because he was an hour late.
Lori opened the door. With her short blonde hair feathering around her pixie face, she looked gorgeous. She was more slender than Dawn and wore an elegant black outfit with slacks and sandals with high heels.
Relieved to be here with her, without any other entanglements, he grinned, Dawn’s face already fading. “Hi, beautiful. Sorry I’m late. Ready for dinner?”
She didn’t return his smile, but said, coolly, “I thought you weren’t coming tonight.”
“My shift ended tonight. I thought I told you.”
She didn’t open the door for him to step in. “You did.”
Okay, so she liked punctuality. He’d have to remember that. “I thought we were going to dinner tonight.”
“And I thought we were exclusively dating. And that we had dinner plans tonight.”
“We are. We do. I tried to call you. Several times.”
“I’m surprised you’re up for more food after eating at Dawn Lawson’s house.”
With a sinking heart, he wondered how she’d found out so quickly. “Did you call my cell earlier?”
“I had a delightful chat with Dawn, who considers you very much her property, you know.”
“I can explain. When I first met you, I told Dawn we needed to date other people.”
“Ah, so you were a couple then.”
“Since you and I started dating officially, I haven’t dated Dawn or called her. Tonight I told her about my exclusive arrangement with you.”
“On your date with her? Oh, don’t worry about it. I won’t either, now that I realize how these exclusive things work here in Utah. By the way, do you own a dictionary? You might want to look up the word exclusive, which comes after dating and before polygamy.” She shrugged. “But you don’t owe me any kind of explanation. It’s not like we’re engaged.”
He shut his eyes for the briefest moment. In her voice, he could hear the hurt and anger. He needed to help her understand she could trust him. He wasn’t like her father. He wouldn’t lie to her. “Lori, I do have to explain. I only went over there tonight because Dawn called me and said she needed her faucet fixed. I didn’t know she’d planned dinner until after I arrived. And then I didn’t know how to get out of it.”
“How convenient that you have an excuse.” Her words were glacial. No global warming problem in this house.
He was wishing for a few sparks right about now. The woman he’d broken up with wanted him desperately. And the woman he wanted to date was more distant than ever.
He had to say something that would convince her he was telling the truth or this romance might be over before it had truly begun.
Chapter Sixteen
Hurt and not wanting to show it, Lori said, “I really think it would be best if you leave now.”
Instead, he took her hand. His touch jolted her.
“Lori,” he said, his voice a low rumble in his chest, “I didn’t plan on staying for dinner with her. She asked me to fix her
faucet and I didn’t know how to get out of it. Then she started to cry, so I ate some of the dinner she’d fixed, but just out of sympathy. And I’ve told her about us now. She knows I won’t be going to her house anymore, not even if she needs something fixed. I made that clear.”
She didn’t believe him. She wanted to, but she had been hurt too many times before by men lying to her. “It’s okay. Really.”
“It’s not.” He pulled her closer to him, and she allowed him to. “I care about you very much. I don’t want to date anyone else. I only want to date you.”
She must really be acting a fool because she found herself saying, “But how can I trust you?”
Gently, he pushed a lock of hair away from her eyes. “Because I will never lie to you. And only time will prove that to you.”
She was silent, her emotions warring within her.
He was quiet, searching her eyes as she weakened.
“And I’m still hungry,” he said with a small smile, “so I hope you’ll let me take
you to dinner.”
Now she knew she was really a fool because, after a pause, she smiled up at him and said, “I’ll get my purse.”
“Hey, let’s take your vehicle,” he teased.
“The hideous vintage beast? Fuhgetaboutit.”
~
“There is no way we can eat all this.” Amazed, Lori stared at the three gargantuan scoops of ice cream topped with pineapple, strawberry, and chocolate sauce, whipped cream, nuts, and a cherry. “It’s humongous.”
John laughed. “I thought you might be impressed.”
“Impressed? I have friends back home who could feast on this for a month, one bite a night.”
“Then aren’t you glad you’re in Utah, the ice cream capital of the world.” He lifted a spoon and took a bite. “This is great. You really ought to try some before I finish it off.”
“I’ll pay you a hundred bucks if you eat all that.”
His eyes sparkled. “I’ll take that bet.”
She laughed. “On second thought, forget it. I have a brother. He could do it.”
“Whew. For a moment, I thought you were actually going to let me do it.”
“Is everything on the menu this big?”
“I believe this is the largest sundae Peach City Ice Cream serves.”
“First you drive me to Logan to Firehouse Pizza where I proceed to put away far more slices than I ever should have eaten.” The pizza had been better than she’d expected, but she still missed New York’s real pizza. New York’s real subs and bagels, too. “And now, just hours later, you’re feeding me ice cream. Are you trying to fatten me up?”
The jukebox began playing an Elvis tune: “All Shook Up.”
“Well, you are pretty tiny, so you might blow away if there’s a good strong wind.”
She snorted in a most unfeminine manner. “As if.”
“What are you? A size zero?”
“Are you kidding? I’m a four.”
“See, my point exactly.” He took another bite.
With a spoon, she scooped out a bite of vanilla with strawberry sauce. “That is good.” She took another spoonful.
“I knew I could get you to eat it.”
She rolled her eyes.
“How’s your gardening column going?”
“Let’s just say it’s a tremendous learning experience.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes, until she put down her spoon. “I am totally stuffed. The rest is yours.”
“If you insist.” He grinned.
“So tell me more about yourself. Have you ever considered moving out of Utah? Is there anything else you’d like to do?”
“I love Utah. I love Brigham City. I love my job.”
“Come on. No one is that easy to please.”
He shrugged. “I learned a lot of patience on my mission. To be happy with what I had.”
“Being around all those naked Swedish women did that?”
“Right.” He grinned. “I also learned to avert my eyes quickly. Seriously, my mission shaped me into the man I am today.”
“A Peeping Tom?”
“A great guy with fantastic peripheral vision, who is somewhat of an overachiever.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of overeater,” she teased, pointing toward the nearly empty sundae dish.
“I am truly hurt. How could you have missed what an incredibly sensitive and caring person I am?”
She snorted again. “Prove it.”
“I will.” He smiled, took another bite, and let it melt in his mouth. With a satisfied sigh, he asked, “So, is there something you want to do?”
“Yeah. Watch you finish that sundae and keep it down.”
“No, I’m serious. Do you want a family? Do you want to write other types of things? Do you believe in a soul mate?”
“Soul mate?” She paused and chose her words carefully. “Well, I believe there is someone for everyone.”
“Me, too.” He smiled warmly at her.
She and John had the same desire to create a strong family, but she’d long ago given up that dream. That’s why playboy Nicholas had seemed so perfect, because he didn’t want children and so wouldn’t care that she couldn’t provide them.
Time to change the subject. “So you love your job because you’re really an overgrown kid who gets to play with matches?”
“Actually, it’s the arsonists who play with matches. Firefighters get to play with big red fire trucks.”
She laughed. “Then you probably hate arsonists, right?”
“Absolutely.”
“I guess now wouldn’t be a good time to mention that I happen to be an arsonist.”
“Not funny.”
“You know, if this were a romance novel, the woman in your life would definitely need to be an arsonist to provide enough inherent conflict.”
“And the man in your life would be . . . me.”
“For the conflict, right?” She laughed. “You certainly don’t have any problems with humility, do you?”
“Forget humble ol’ me. Tell me more about your family.”
“What’s to tell? After the divorce, my mother never remarried. She raised us as a single mom.”
“And did a marvelous job, I might add.” He leaned forward and touched her necklace. “You always wear this. Why?”
She smiled as she lifted the heart-shaped locket hanging from the dainty gold chain. She opened it to reveal two pictures. “These are my grandparents. Grandpa Scott gave it to me after Grandma died.” So far, Grandpa Scott had been the only trustworthy man in her life. If she could only meet a man like him, someone she could trust with her secrets, with knowing she couldn’t have children, with knowing she couldn’t stand being around her father, with seeing how flawed she was and loving her anyway, then she might consider getting married.
“It must mean a lot to you.”
Lori nodded. “Grandma Scott used to tell me the story of how her family moved into Grandpa’s town. Everyone warned her about him, how he’d broken half the hearts in town, but she liked him. A lot. And so when he tried to kiss her, she would tell me—with a twinkle in her eye—that, and I quote, ‘I was easy kissed.’ They were both wonderful people. I miss them.”
“Why’d your parents get divorced?”
“Because my father is a pig,” she blurted out, and then her eyes widened. She hadn’t meant to let that slip.
“Go on,” he said calmly. “Tell me about him.”
“I’d rather not.” She changed the subject, rambling on about her brother, Greg, her degree in literature, her friend Marti.
John smiled at her without saying a word.
She asked, “Why are you so calm all the time? I can’t seem to manage it, but you’re always mellow.”
“Do you want the smart-aleck answer or the truth?”
“The truth.”
“Okay, you asked for it. It’s because I believe that as long as there is a Savior, there is hope.”
Her heart caught on his words, so casually spoken and yet so sincere.
As long as there is a Savior, there is hope.
She so desperately needed hope. Her heart warmed and tears burned her eyelids. She blinked several times, but they spilled over. Great. She hated crying.
She couldn’t believe she was reacting this way. Why was she so emotional lately? And why could a few words from John affect her so strongly?
John scooted his chair closer to her and handed her a napkin, waiting while she wiped her eyes, putting his arm around the back of her chair as if to protect her.
After a moment, she said, “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I never cry.”
“The Holy Ghost is telling you that what I just
said is true. There is a Savior. And that’s why I’m so calm, because nothing that happens in our lives is too much for Him to heal.”
She wiped her eyes again and looked over at him.
He smiled gently. “Do you feel more calm now?”
“Yes,” she admitted, her voice still a little shaky.
“I get that calm feeling often. When I’m in church, I know I’m worshipping my Savior. When I’m fighting fires, I know I’m serving Him. When I’m here with you, I know I’m spending time in a good, wholesome manner pleasing to Him.”
Suddenly she felt drawn toward the Church and what John was getting out of it in his life.
Drawn toward her Savior, who she’d turned from years ago because He hadn’t stopped her father from leaving.
Drawn toward the light she’d avoided since she was thirteen years old.
Everything had changed with her father’s betrayal.
Now she’d met a man who made her feel peaceful again.
And she feared opening herself up to hope.
~
John touched her arm again. “Feel better?”
She smiled at him. “Yes.”
“Good.” He paused, not sure how to say what was in his mind. “I know you were very hurt by what your father did.”
She nodded.
“I hope it hasn’t turned you away from family and marriage and all the good things in life.”
“You have parents who are happy together. We come from very different worlds.”
He nodded. “You’re right. Watching my parents and my brothers with their families makes me yearn for the same thing.”
She didn’t answer.
“I’m ready for marriage.”
Her eyes widened. “Is this a proposal?”
“No. Just letting you know I’m ready.”
“So I’m just one last fling before you settle down?”
“You’re not a fling.” Just the opposite. He wanted to pull Lori into his arms and not let go.
The strength of the impulse surprised him, but not the strength of his impression that she really, truly was the right one for him.
He didn’t have much time left to convince her.
~
How to Stuff a Wild Zucchini Page 16