by C. J. Thomas
He had the passenger side door opened by the time I caught up to him. Slowing to a stop, I lifted my eyes to his. “Did your father come because of me?” I’d know if he was lying.
Nolan’s chest expanded as he inhaled a deep breath. Refusing to answer, he motioned for me to get inside the car.
Gnawing on the inside of my cheek, my eyes narrowed as I fell into the seat. And my body jumped when he shut the door, harder than expected. Nerves rattled my core. I didn’t know where he was taking me but, no matter where he thought we could escape to, I knew that it had to end here.
Nolan slid in behind the wheel.
He was quiet, staring straight ahead, refusing to talk.
Seeing the anguish flash over his eyes, I knew he was hurting. Knew he was put in a position he refused to acknowledge. Lifting my hand away from my thigh, I reached over and draped my hand over his.
He didn’t flinch, but he didn’t pull away either. His pulsed raced with frustration and when I squeezed, he closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest.
“If you have something you need to do—” I turned my head forward, “—I understand.”
Nolan’s head shot up.
He turned his head and looked at me with a pinched expression. “What? No.”
My eyes darted across his face, studying every line, every facial tick—reading too much into every little detail to convince me that this wasn’t going to work. I wanted to tell him I’d heard everything. I wasn’t sure if he knew or if he wanted to refuse to believe that also. Either way, it didn’t matter. Because the truth was, if it wasn’t for his father interrupting our time together, this day would have produced fireworks. And that was most heartbreaking of all.
“Nolan, I can see it on your face.” I twisted my finger around my hair draped over my shoulder.
He held my gaze for a minute before turning forward. He knew I could see what it was he was thinking—how he was feeling. It wasn’t hard to read him. Not now that he was in his comfort zone, safely hidden inside his own car. But he was too proud to say. And I admired him for wanting to keep me out of his family drama.
“We can do this another time,” I said.
I watched his Adam’s apple slide up and down his throat. Without saying a word, he put the key in the ignition and started the engine. Cranking it over, I reached for my seatbelt and brought it across my lap buckling myself in. Nolan backed out slowly and carefully. I didn’t care where we were going, just that we were heading somewhere. Somewhere away from his father. Away from the negative source that found its way into our lives.
A few minutes passed before I said, “Nolan, I think it’s best that you just take me home.”
“This wasn’t what I wanted.” His voice was broken.
“I know.” My voice cracked when I told him where I lived. It wasn’t far and I didn’t want this to be over. But I knew deep inside me that I couldn’t save today. And neither could he.
We meandered through the city. Though we didn’t want to talk about it, I could feel his frustration radiating off of him. And when we turned onto my block, I pointed to my building. “You can park there.”
Turning the wheel, Nolan slowed to a stop. Inside I chuckled, as I knew how difficult it was to find a parking spot in the city. And just when I thought my luck was running out, here we found ourselves only feet away from the front entrance as if reminding us it wasn’t all bad.
Nolan turned off the engine and leaned back in his seat.
I kept my gaze on my lap. Neither one of us looked at each other, just sat quietly dwelling in our thoughts. We didn’t know what to say. I mean, what could we have said? It wasn’t like either of us wanted to be in the position we found ourselves in. Then, after a minute of complete silence, he turned to me and said, “Would you allow me to make it up to you sometime?”
I still couldn’t look up. A stone had formed in my throat just as my lips curled into a tight grin. I couldn’t stop fidgeting. Couldn’t slow my heart from pounding against my ribs. Inside, I was screaming, Yes. Of course. Because I didn’t want to end this. We had just started and the road looked promising. But, in the end, I couldn’t do it. Not with knowing what Nolan would have to do to get his family to accept me. It wasn’t fair to him.
Peeling my eyes away from my fidgeting fingers, I rolled them over to him. “Now just isn’t a good time.”
His lips parted just before he turned his gaze away. Looking straight ahead at the car parked in front of us, he listened.
“With me quitting my job, and you having to run your family’s business.” I sighed.
Nolan’s face told me everything I needed to know. He knew exactly what was coming next.
“I’m not sure this can work.”
He stopped breathing.
“We come from different walks of life. The mountains were great. Vacations always are,” I rambled, not even believing my own excuses as to why he should move on. “But now, back in the city…” I turned to look at him. “And with you being a Foster—”
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.
“It’s clear that I’m only making things worse by being in your life.”
“That’s not true, Sophia.” He twisted his large body in his seat and pleaded his case to me. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. This can work. It is working.”
Tears swelled behind my eyes but I refused to let them fall. “It’s just bad timing.”
He pressed his lips tightly together and turned his gaze forward.
“I have to get my résumé prepared, start looking for a new job.” A feeling of being overwhelmed by the immense tasks ahead fell over me. And I wasn’t about to mention my idea to breakout on my own. I was too afraid to speak of something that might result in complete failure, especially to someone who owned an empire.
Then, out of the blue, Nolan turned to me and said, “You heard what my father said, didn’t you?”
Like being hit by a truck, I was left gasping for air. With wide unblinking eyes, I looked him directly in the eye and nodded.
Reaching for my hand, he said, “I’m crazy about you, Sophia. Only you. Whatever you think you heard, it’s simply not true. All this will blow over and my family will see the true you—the woman I’m falling for.”
I panted as my heart fluttered.
I wanted to say I was falling for him, too. That I couldn’t stop thinking about him when he wasn’t near. That my world was brighter since meeting him. Even when everything else seemed so grim, he made it better. He brought the silver lining to my life’s madness. But, in the end, I couldn’t do it.
“You’re the only woman I want.” His voice was soft, sincere.
My throat closed and tears pooled in my eyes. It killed me to know that I was willingly walking away from such an amazing man. If the stakes weren’t as high as they were, I would happily walk to the edge and jump into the unknown with him. But I still couldn’t believe what his father was making him do.
In a tone barely above a whisper I said, “I’m tearing your family apart, Nolan.”
He gave me a knowing look, knowing that what I said was true.
“This isn’t good for either of us. It will only cause pain. For everyone involved.” My vision blurred as the tears thickened, knowing what I was going to say next. “I think it’s just best that we stop this before it gets too deep.” But my heart was already breaking.
Nolan lifted his hand to the steering wheel. I watched him squeeze it tight in a white-knuckled grip.
“Maybe when your brother’s campaign is over we can make it work?”
Nolan nodded with a hard expression on his face.
He knew he was about to lose me. I felt it in the pit of my stomach. Without looking, I reached for the door handle and cracked it open. The outside heat flooded in. But before stepping out, I lifted my hand to the nape of his neck and pulled him in for one last kiss.
Gently, I pressed my tongue against his, savoring his taste,
searing it into my memory forever. What we had might have been short-lived, but there was something magical about it that I didn’t ever want to forget.
Pulling away from his lips, I couldn’t look him in the eye, knowing that if I did I would lose control of all the intense emotions I was keeping bottled up inside. Swiveling my hips around, I stepped out of his car on shaky legs, feeling like this was it. And as I closed the door, I watched him drive away, wondering if I would ever see him again.
36
Nolan
I didn’t want to come. But I had no choice.
Inside, I felt empty. Like I had lost something important.
Watching Sophia go stung worse than anything I had ever felt before. And I didn’t like how our conversation ended. It felt set in stone and with no hope to rekindle our relationship in the future. Sure, she mentioned exploring the possibility after Cooper’s campaign was over but I couldn’t wait that long.
I sighed and rubbed my hand over my face.
I knew it wasn’t ideal timing. Just like she’d said. For either of us. But I knew what I was feeling inside and it was as real as it got.
I nodded to the hostess that led me to the private room in the back. It was an upscale restaurant, one of my father’s favorites. She smiled and left, allowing me to wait alone as I was the first to arrive. Luckily, I’d stopped by the bar upon arrival and had a drink to sip while I let my thoughts drift back to Sophia.
All afternoon I’d thought how I could have done things differently. Even now, as I perused the empty room, slowly pacing around the table—long enough to seat both our families—I continued to analyze my time with Sophia. I broke down every minute, every word. I should have said this, should have done that differently. And as I nitpicked my way through each detail, I only found more reasons why I wasn’t sure Sophia would ever take me back.
A firm hand hit square between my shoulder blades, nearly causing me to spill my drink. “Thanks for bringing the family together,” Trevor said sarcastically.
I smoothed my hand down my front, making sure I didn’t spill any of my Manhattan on my expensive suit before turning my eyes to him. “You clean up well,” I said, noticing he was wearing a suit—something he rarely did.
“Yeah, I feel like a schmuck, but at least I’ll be eating well tonight.”
“Trust me, I don’t want to be here any more than you do.”
Trevor moved to the table and looked around. “Where is everyone?”
“If by everyone, you mean me, then the party has just arrived.” Charlotte entered the room smiling.
I leaned down and gave my little sister a kiss on the cheek. She moved to Trevor and gave him a hug. Then she turned back to me and said, “So, where is she?”
For a brief second I thought maybe she was referring to Sophia. But who was I fooling? That was only wishful thinking, because we all knew why Dad had called this meeting. And, sadly, it was to appease the one person I was really beginning to hate—Audrey.
“Don’t know. Don’t care,” I said, feeling my stomach tense when thinking about having to put on a smile long enough to please Dad.
“So, what’s this dinner about, anyway?” Trevor said, taking a bite of a bread roll.
Both Charlotte and I looked at him like he was crazy. Dad had sent an email to all of us, but it was clear Trevor hadn’t come out of his shop between now and seeing him this morning at the office. Not surprising, really.
“It’s to make sure that I win the governor seat.” Cooper entered the room with a wide grin splitting his face.
He slid his arm around my back and gave me a hug. “Don’t fuck it up,” he whispered in my ear. “And I expect you to kiss Audrey’s ass until her father publicly confirms his support.”
I chuckled. “How about you kiss her father’s ass instead?”
“You know I will.” He winked as he pulled away.
I watched him greet Trevor with a handshake, then Charlotte with a hug. And when I heard a booming laugh from behind, I turned to find Mom and Dad arriving with the Rothschilds. It was clear they were having a good time, sharing stories and happy to bring our families together. It was just like old times, I thought before noticing someone was missing.
My brows squished as I looked around for Audrey.
It wasn’t like I was looking forward to seeing her, but she was the reason we were here in the first place. And it was only right that I let her know how much I hated her for what she was doing to ruin my life. Hell, I was more excited to get through this dinner and get back to coming up with a plan to win Sophia back than I was to making sure Cooper got what he wanted.
Dad ordered drinks, making sure to have them bring a couple bottles of wine for the table.
The longer Audrey didn’t show, the more my palms sweated. I wondered what kind of stunt she was preparing now, what kind of fire I had to put out for when she did arrive.
Travis arrived next. He had his hair pulled back into a ponytail, and even he was dressed in a suit. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen that happen. I must have not been the only one Dad chewed out today. There were no mistakes tonight, everything planned down to the last detail. And that was how it went when Dad was after something.
“This must be big if Dad convinced you to leave the mountains,” Cooper said to Travis.
Soon, my siblings had Travis surrounded, grilling him about the panties in the broken dishwasher last week. I couldn’t listen. All it did was make my heart grow fonder for something I had lost earlier today. No one knew, and no one asked, and I preferred to keep it that way. Because the wound was fresh and it stung. When I turned away, not wanting to hear anymore, I found myself standing next to Noah.
“You look exhausted,” I said.
He rolled his eyes over to me. “Funny that you don’t.”
I held up my drink. “Can I get you one?”
He shook his head. “Did you make it down to the software company?”
Turning my attention back to the room, I said, “I made it down there.”
He quirked a brow. “And?”
“Didn’t make it inside.” I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, curling my lips over the rim of my glass.
“That bad, huh?”
Swallowing down my sip, I murmured, “Something like that.”
“Well, should we bother with it or not?” he asked as I caught Dad making his way over to us.
“I’m not sure yet. There’s still more I need to check out before making a final decision.”
Dad caught my gaze and didn’t let go. I could see it in his eyes, the way he looked at me, reminding me of our conversation from earlier. “Boys,” he greeted us.
“Dad.” Noah nodded.
“Noah.” Dad turned to look me in the eye. “Get me a drink, will you?”
Noah eyed me as he nodded and left to fetch Dad his drink.
Together, Dad and I stood with our backs against the wall. Now that he had me alone, I knew just what it was he was going to ask. Sometimes, I was surprised by how I was able to read him like an open book. It was rare, but every time it happened it felt like a victory.
“Did you do what I asked?”
I clenched my fist at my side. “It’s over, Dad.”
Dad turned to look at me but I refused to show him the suffering I felt inside. Nodding, he said, “Audrey is on her way. I hear she’s looking forward to seeing you.”
“Can’t say I share her excitement.” I finished my drink and turned my head away.
“You did the right thing, Nolan,” Dad said sincerely.
“Really?” I whipped my head around. “Because it doesn’t feel that way.”
Dad looked back to the party and cleared his throat.
“Did you bother asking Mr. Rothschild about what Audrey did?”
“The past is the past.” Dad looked over his shoulder to see Audrey just arriving. “Just make sure you remember why it is we are all here tonight.”
“Cooper,” I mumbled
under my breath.
“He’s counting on you, Nolan.” Dad’s eyes raised up to mine. “He is counting on us all.”
Dad walked away, leaving me in restless. Glancing down into my empty drink, I wished I had ordered a double. God knows I was going to need it.
“You forgot to call,” Audrey said to me as she approached from behind.
When I heard her voice, I closed my eyes and felt the pressure of a headache pounding between my brows. I turned to find Audrey smiling as if it was our wedding day. It made me sick to know she was using Cooper’s campaign as a way to manipulate me into getting back with her. But that was exactly what she was doing. And we all knew it. Because that was what this was all about. What she wanted. What she needed. She didn’t give a fuck about anybody else. It was always about her.
I turned my head and glared. “Must have slipped my mind.”
“You didn’t even try.”
I stared at her, remembering how pissed I was the last time I’d seen her. Even after the incident in the mountains, she had no remorse for what she’d done. “Let me be clear, I’m here for my brother, not because I wanted to see you.”
She snorted out a laugh. Then she turned and stood in front of me, straightening my tie between her fingers. Lowering her voice, she said, “You should know that I always get what I want.”
Taking a step back, I said, “It takes two to tango.”
She glanced down to her feet as if measuring the distance that now stood between us. “I’m glad you think so,” she looked up at me from under her long lashes, “because if things go my way, you’ll be leaving here with me tonight.”
My abs hardened as I let my gaze drift above the crown of her skull. I was finished with her. I knew it was hard for her to believe, but it was true. My ears closed off as she continued talking. But I had heard enough and didn’t need to hear any more.
Soon, I caught Mom looking in my direction and the look on her face said it all. She knew what I was having to put up with, knew the thoughts swirling between my ears. Silently, I called her over with my eyes, and when I watched her excuse herself from the conversation she was having with Mrs. Rothschild, relief swept over me.