by Carole Dean
“It’s what happens, isn’t it? To have a career, and family, women sometimes short-change something—or someone. Popular opinion is that it’s usually the children who suffer. Why should you be different?” That stereotype of the career woman irritated Nikki. It wasn’t necessary to give short shrift to anything in your life, she believed, as long as you worked hard and long enough.
“I didn’t suffer, nor did Prisma. That’s just it. No boy ever had a better mother. I went with her everywhere. By the time I was in my teens, I think I’d been in half the countries on the globe.”
“How did you cope with school?”
“A lot of the time I had a private tutor—Coogan. Actually, he was some kind of distant cousin on my mother’s side. He traveled with us. He had two great loves, Irish literature and soccer.” The thought of his irascible tutor made him smile. “Coogan made sure I kept up.”
“Where was home then?” Nikki was fascinated. What a contrast between Michael’s life and her organized, disciplined upbringing.
“Originally, Madrid. I was born there. We lived in France for a while. There was a brief stay in Switzerland. Then back to Spain. I went to university in the U.S. There never was a home in the sense you mean it. More a series of apartments.”
“And now? Where do you live now?”
“The south of Ireland, near Glengariff. At least that’s home when I can get there. I keep a suite in Madrid.”
“I can’t imagine living in so many places. That’s why I can’t figure out your accent.”
Michael laughed. “Most people guess its Australian. One country I’ve yet to set foot in. I’m surprised it’s still noticeable.”
“It’s very slight. I like it. It’s lyrical.”
“I’m glad you’ve found something to like about me.” His smile faded. “There may be hope for us yet.”
Nikki avoided his serious gaze and changed the subject. “Your mother sounds like an incredible woman. She accomplished so much. I would love to have known her. Not too many woman achieve what she did.”
“True. She built a great company, but she gave it all she had,” he said, his voice low and level. “Prisma is large and successful. Megan O’Shea Dorado is dead long before her time. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that no one can be all things to all people. The strain is too much. The sacrifice too great.”
“Maybe your mother didn’t see it that way. Maybe she didn’t think it was a sacrifice. She must have been proud of you, Michael. Maybe she lived exactly the kind of life she wanted.” Nikki chose her words carefully. It wasn’t her place to defend Megan O’Shea’s life.
“Maybe she did. But I can’t help feeling she missed something. She should have married again, for one thing. Business is fascinating, but there should be more to life than balance sheets and sales stats—for men and women.”
Michael looked across the table at Nikki’s earnest face. Too serious, too ambitious, too focused. It unsettled him. There were so many faces like that at Prisma, on women whose commitment to their careers was at once admirable and sad. He worked with them, respected them, but they scared the hell out of him.
“But you’re correct,” he finally added. “Everyone has the right to make their own decisions about the life they want. No matter the outcome.”
He smiled and reached across the table for her hand. Holding it in both of his, he rubbed his thumbs across her knuckles, glanced down. Even her hands were lightly freckled. “Now, let’s talk about something else.”
He kicked himself the moment the words were out of his mouth. He’d given her the perfect opening, and she’d picked up on it. It showed on her face. She was chewing her lip again. Damn it, he wanted this woman and no silly working relationship was going to stand between them. He wanted to kiss her, touch her, have her crazy in his arms.
He turned her hand over and moved his thumb to her pulse. Was it wishful thinking or did it quicken under his touch?
It was inconvenient that she worked for him, nothing more. They’d work it out. They’d only have a few weeks, then he would be gone. His chest contracted sharply at the last thought. Could he leave her so easily? He’d left women before. Surely he could do it again.
He looked at her troubled face, a study in innocence, unschooled in the art of seduction and affairs of the heart. Of that, he was sure. He could see no shell there, no tough skin formed over old lovers’ wounds. She was all of a piece. Whole, perfect, and ready. She stirred more than his body, she stirred his soul. Suddenly guilty about his earlier thoughts, he had a creeping suspicion this could be more than a short-term relationship. He badly wanted the chance to explore what was between them. Would she give him that?
Nikki’s voice was flat when she finally spoke.
“This is no good, you know.”
“No good for who?”
“Either one of us.” She looked into his eyes, her own without guile. She pulled her hands from his. “I don’t deny I’m attracted to you. You’ve been on my mind constantly since last night. Even today, when I was so angry, finding out who you were, I couldn’t push you out of my mind. My thoughts would make you blush, Mr. Dorado.” A reluctant smile followed her last words.
“Then I’d definitely like to hear them.” Michael tried to lure her from her path, but his words had the opposite effect. Her eyes dulled and she pulled her hand from his.
“I don’t think so,” she said, giving him a steadier look. “I’m serious about this. I’m sorry you’re not.”
“Not serious?” He took a jagged breath and leaned back in his chair. “You tell me your thoughts would make me blush, and you think I don’t take that seriously.” He stopped, considered where to go from here. “It’s no way to say goodbye, Nikki.”
“I wasn’t trying for effect; I was trying for honesty. I don’t want to pretend with you. What would be the sense in that, after I kissed you like a love-starved spinster? As for saying goodbye, that’s impossible given we still have to work together.”
“What do you want, then?” He was still struggling with the vision of this beautiful woman as a love-starved spinster. He wondered who’d taught her to be so hard on herself?
She didn’t answer his question, so he repeated it. “Tell me what you want. What you truly want?”
Her eyes again met his. “I want to finish this cappuccino, go back to the club, meet my friends ...” She faltered now, her expression turning wistful. “But more than anything, I want you and I to be what you said we’d be—friends. Friends and coworkers.”
“You mean that, don’t you?”
She gave the barest nod. “If this thing between us was to follow the path of the typical office romance, it would only end in disaster.” She lifted a hand, gestured at him. “Oh, not for you. You’re protected from that. The disaster is reserved for me.”
He felt a surge of annoyance. “What’s between us is not a typical anything,” he said, lowering his voice. “It’s an attraction, a powerful attraction, and it’s between you and me.” He reached across the table, lifted her chin, not wanting to miss a nuance of her expression. “And what makes you so sure of your own hurt, Nikki, and so uncertain of mine?”
His words cut too near the truth and she settled back, pulling her chin from his warm touch. Again Nikki thought about Brent Marshall.
She struggled to explain, her eyes darting briefly from his. “Be fair, Michael, you have nothing to lose with a flirtation, a casual office fling. I can lose everything, sacrifice all my goals. My job is important to me. I work hard at it, and I’m good at it—and I don’t want to give it up.” She said this last stubbornly, precisely. “If I get involved with you and it ends badly, I’m the one who’d have to start all over, not you. And I’m not prepared to do that. It’s better not to start.”
For a long moment, he stared at her, a valley of quiet between them. Nikki could not read his eyes.
“It already has started,” he said. “In case you missed something back there in the village. And
what if this is more than a flirtation? Have you thought about that?”
“You’re not going to tell me that you believe in love at first sight, are you?” She almost sneered the question, then laughed. Even to her the laugh was harsh and unpleasant.
“No, I’m not. But I believe in vibrations, particularly when they’re big enough to make the earth move. I think they’re worth checking into.” He reached for her hand. “How can you ignore it?” he added, his tone softly urgent.
She pulled her hand back and didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. She had a million reasons for ignoring it, but finding one to talk about wasn’t easy. Finally, she shook her head.
“I see,” he said, leaning back in his chair.
What did he see? she wondered, but didn’t ask.
“Career first. No side trips and no detours.” His statement was terse. “Just friends?”
“Exactly.” She lifted her chin.
“I’ll think about it.”
“What do you mean, you’ll think about it?”
“Just what I said. It may surprise you, but I have feelings at stake here, too. Or did you think I was faking them to get you into my bed? I’ll agree that we need time to think. Both of us have business responsibilities to consider, so I’m not going to pressure you. For now we’ll take it no further. Fair enough?”
“That’s not fair at all. I want you to promise to leave me alone—strictly and permanently. It’s what you wanted, too. Remember? Just hours ago, it was you talking about being friends. About how impossible this was.”
“That was before tonight.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake. One kiss doesn’t change the universe,” Nikki said in complete exasperation. If he wouldn’t promise to leave her alone, it would be up to her. The thought terrified her.
“No. Maybe not, but it goes a hell of a long way to changing a man’s mind.” He looked at her, long and hard, then smiled slowly. “Relax. I may still come around to your way of thinking and leave you strictly, permanently alone. You’ll just have to convince me it’s what you truly want.”
Ignoring the stubborn set to his jaw and the odd green light in his eyes, she glared at him. “If that’s a challenge, Mr. Dorado, I accept.”
Michael smiled.
Chapter Nine
Nikki met Amy, John, and Christy for breakfast at seven-thirty the next morning, an hour before the first session.
“Niks, I never thought I’d say this, but you look as bad as I feel.” John gulped down some orange juice and reached for his coffee. His normally ruddy complexion was ashen.
Nicole’s smile was a guilty one. She did look terrible, and she knew why. Too much Michael Patrick Dorado. Better if her coworkers thought it was the result of too much partying. “I warned you. I have no stamina for parties. What you see this morning is indisputable proof.”
“I don’t think so,” Amy disagreed and gave Nikki a curious look. “You didn’t have more than two glasses of wine all night.”
“Obviously, that’s my limit then,” Nikki answered, for the umpteenth time admitting to herself that she never could put anything past the eagle-eyed Amy.
“Can you believe the subject for the morning session?” Christy waved a piece of toast to get their attention and started to read from the meeting schedule. “An overview of the function and value of corporate services. I thought these sessions were supposed to be punchy and motivational. If this is an indication of the dynamic Prisma organization, I’m not impressed.” She threw the agenda aside, took a bite of her toast, and sighed in resignation. “Ah, well. At least I can catch up on my beauty sleep.”
John spoke again. “You have your meeting with Dorado this morning at eleven, don’t you, Nikki? At least that should be interesting. He strikes me as a good guy.”
Nikki nearly gasped aloud, then nodded. She had completely forgotten about the meeting. Last night it wasn’t mentioned, but that certainly didn’t mean it was off. For all her talk of job and career, this morning’s meeting with Michael was the last thing on her mind, proving again how distracting and destructive office attractions could be.
“What do you think he has to say?” John continued. “Do you think he’ll make a lot of changes?”
“Some, of course. We have to expect that. Kingway can’t fit into the Prisma organization without them. As to what those changes will be, I’m in the same boat as you. We’ll just have to wait and see.”
“You’ll let us know, won’t you? What you find out today.”
“Can’t think why not.” Nikki looked at her watch, eight-fifteen. “We better hustle our you-know-whats. I have a feeling the sleeping seats at the back of the room will fill up real fast this morning.”
Christy laughed and stood up. “Do I detect a note of sarcasm in that comment, Niks. Are we to believe you are not panting to learn about—” she glanced at her agenda “—the Functions and Value of Corporate Services in the Prisma corporation?”
Nikki directed her best Mona Lisa smile at Christy and said nothing.
It was Christy who was sarcastic. Nikki was rarely openly critical of anyone, particularly coworkers. If anyone did hear her complain, it was Amy, and that was seldom. And if she had a complaint today, it was that Jayne Kingway wasn’t here.
Jayne should be here. She should be the one meeting with Michael, not Nikki. She began to panic. How would she handle sitting in the same room with him so soon after last night? Damn it. Jayne should have warned her. She was suddenly angry, although she knew she wasn’t being fair. How in heaven could Jayne know Michael would ask for a meeting. She forced herself to calm down. Considering there was no escaping it, she’d do her best and muddle through.
Just make sure your best is good enough, that’s what her father would say. She wondered why he was so much on her mind this past while. Maybe she should call him. It had been a long time. A very long time.
Nicole loved her father in a remote kind of way. He’d done his best for her and her brothers. He was hard on them, sure. But it paid off, didn’t it? She thought of her three successful brothers. Without warning, she felt a stab of envy followed by depression.
Her father was so proud of them. His letters were testaments to their achievements, lists of their latest accomplishments. He must be so disappointed in her, being merely a run-of-the-mill sales manager. She felt a little sick, as she always did, when she remembered his reaction to her dismissal from her job in Denver—a job made possible by his connections. “Fired?” He’d said the word as if he’d never heard it before. “No one in this family ever lost a position before, Nicole—for any reason. I can’t believe you let Brent down that way.”
Of course, he’d assumed it was her fault, and she didn’t tell him otherwise. The otherwise was too humiliating, and she was sure he wouldn’t believe her.
“We’re in luck.” Christy pointed to four seats together at the back of the room. “Come on, group. It’s nap-time.”
***
The session finally ended. “Give me strength and lead me to the exit.” Christy was first to stand and head for the door.
“It wasn’t so bad.” Nicole said, although even to her own ears, her words sounded hollow. “At least we know what to expect from head office.”
Her positive comments gathered only groans from her coworkers as they hurried toward the door.
“Nicole. Nicole Johnson,” a voice called. “Could I see you for a moment please?”
Nicole saw Darlene waving and bearing down hard on her left. There was no escape. The rest of her group hustled out as she turned and smiled.
“What can I do for you, Darlene?”
“There’s a couple of things I want to check with you. You and your group leave after today’s sessions. Am I right?”
“Yes. I’m afraid Kingway doesn’t have the resources to cover us for another day out of the office. It was difficult for Jayne to handle everything as it was. She expects us back first thing tomorrow.”
“Yes, of course. I kee
p forgetting what a small operation you are. At Prisma we don’t have that problem.”
Darlene’s patronizing tone rankled Nikki. She decided to ignore it, reminding herself again that she would be working with this woman.
“I’m sure you don’t.” She forced a smile. “By the way, I want to tell you how much we welcomed the opportunity to be here. We’ve learned a great deal about Prisma, and we have you to thank. I know it’s no small task organizing a meeting of this size. It’s been very informative.”
The unexpected praise caught the older woman off guard, and a look of genuine gratitude fleetingly crossed her face.
“Thank you, that’s kind of you to say.”
“You mentioned there was something else you wanted to see me about?” Nikki asked politely.
“Yes. I understand you have a meeting set up with Mr. Dorado today at eleven.”
“Yes?” Nikki waited.
“Michael and I were going over his schedule this morning, and we wanted to advise you to be sure and keep the meeting short. We have a luncheon session with the Eastern U.S. distributors that will take considerable preparation. Frankly, I think Michael regrets having arranged your meeting for today. Made in a rush of enthusiasm, I’m sure, after your wonderful little presentation.” Darlene directed a full smile in Nikki’s direction. “I’m sure he would reschedule it, if he thought it wouldn’t offend you. After all, there’s plenty of time to deal with Kingway during our stay at the Vancouver office.
“While I’m sure what you have to say will be quite interesting, don’t you agree it could wait? I don’t mean to be rude, but your organization is the least of Michael’s concerns at the moment.”
‘... least of Michael’s concerns!’ Nikki nearly choked on her own rage.
So much for inter-company relations! Her next thought was: Hell hath no fury like a boss scorned. Obviously, since he’d discovered she wouldn’t go easily to his bed, the business meeting wasn’t important. Well to hell with him! From tomorrow on, Jayne could deal with him.