by Carole Dean
“I’m wondering if I should apologize, too—if wanting you is some kind of crime.” His eyes, intent on her, caught the flame of the fire. “Working with you every day has been a grueling exercise in self-denial. I thought—” He put his coffee on the mantel and picked it up again. “Hell, you don’t even want to know what I thought. I guess I was counting on my admirable behavior—” he smiled at her then “—to make you comfortable with me, make you trust me.”
“Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly?” Nikki quoted the words without malice and smiled slightly.
“Something like that.”
He went back to sit at his end of the sofa, careful to keep a distance between them. “At work, have I made it difficult for you?”
“No. You’ve been very ... nice,” she finished lamely.
“’Nice.’” He repeated the word with a grimace. “I think I prefer the comparison to the spider better.” He paused. “What you did tonight, I want you to know—I understand.” He gave her an oddly boyish grin. “And while it’s hell on the old male ego, don’t worry, I can take no for an answer.”
“I was wrong to do what I did tonight,” she broke in. “I thought—Damn, I don’t know what I thought,” she finished miserably.
“You thought I was a sex mad executive with a—what did you call it—leaping libido? And maybe you’re half right, although I hadn’t intended my feelings to appear quite so trivial.”
Nikki’s throat constricted and she tried to swallow.
He went on, “It seems I handled it—you—badly, but it doesn’t matter now. I leave Wednesday. So let’s just say I accept my defeat regretfully but gracefully.” He made a move to stand.
“Wednesday! I thought you weren’t leaving for two more weeks?” She should be glad. He’d be out of her life. From here on in she’d see him once, maybe twice a year. She could concentrate on her career. But she wasn’t glad, she was crushingly disappointed.
Michael relaxed back into the sofa. “Everything is going well. There’s no need for me to stay any longer. You’re more than capable of handling things from here on. I’ll probably be back sometime in the next year, and Darlene will stay for a while. If you have any serious problems, you can always call me. You’ll do a great job, Nikki. Prisma is fortunate to have you.” His look was sincere, when he added, “You have a solid future with us, and in a couple of months, we’ll talk about that future in more concrete terms. I think you’ll be pleased with what I have to offer you.”
Michael words were so coolly professional, Nikki might as well have been in the office.
“Thanks,” she mumbled. “I’ll do my best for you. You can count on it.” Nikki was struck by the banality of her own words, but couldn’t think what else to say.
Michael placed his half-empty mug on the coffee table and rose to his feet. “Thanks for the coffee. I’m glad you invited me in. It was a good idea to clear the air. I wouldn’t have wanted what happened tonight to damage our working relationship.”
Nikki nodded silently and stood uncertainly on the other side of the coffee table.
He walked to her front door, and an unnamed panic swirled in Nikki’s chest. He was leaving. At the door, he stopped, then turned to look at her. She couldn’t move. It was as if she were frozen in place.
“My jacket?” he asked, finally.
“Oh! Right. I think I carried into the bedroom. I’ll get it.” What on earth was the matter with her?
She retrieved his jacket and handed it to him, watching with growing agony as he shrugged it on. He was more than leaving, she could feel it, he was saying goodbye. She stared at him in bewilderment, confused and indecisive. They were only inches apart, but the distance yawned like a mile-wide chasm. She couldn’t think how to cross it. Unless ...
Michael gripped the doorknob and hesitated. What was he seeing in her eyes? Without thinking, he reached up and brushed some stray strands of hair off her temple. He saw a trace of the wound he had patched at Whistler. He also saw that her eyes were closing.
“Michael.” Her voice was scarcely a whisper, but it froze his hand on the knob. She opened her eyes and looked into his. “Kiss me, Michael. I’m asking you to kiss me.”
He leaned back against the closed door, deafened by the sound of his own heart. “Do you know what you’re saying, Nikki?” He ran the back of his hand along her cheek.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I know exactly what I’m saying.”
At the first touch of his lips, Nikki gave way to the emotions she had tried to deny. Dear God, how she needed this man. With that admission, whatever restraint she had crumbled, giving way to a growing, uncontrollable excitement. She shuddered into his arms, repeating his name over and over again whenever he gave her time and breath enough to speak. His kiss was fierce, impatient. She couldn’t breathe but didn’t care; she had Michael. His hands moved from her shoulders, down to the soft rounds of her buttocks, and he pulled her tight to the hard swell of his need. She moaned into his mouth.
“I can’t take much more of this.” His voice was a dull growl. “We have to talk.” He pushed her away from him and fought for breath. “You have to be sure.” His eyes, now glazed with want, sought hers.
“I’m sure. Absolutely and positively sure.” She leaned against him, hugged him hard. Try as she may, she couldn’t remember any of the reasons that had made her hesitate. She simply had to have him. She smiled up into his worried eyes.
“There’s only one thing I need an honest answer to,” she said teasingly.
“Try me.”
“Will you still respect me in the morning?”
Michael laughed softly before answering, again stroking her cheek as his expression turned thoughtful. “Respect is a given. What you should be asking is, Will I still love you in the morning. That’s much more important, don’t you think?”
“Love?” she said, frowning slightly. “We don’t need to talk about that. I know I’m not, uh, too experienced about things, but I’m not so dumb I think you have to say I love you to go to bed with me.” Nikki had no intention of ruining what was happening between them. He wanted her. She wanted him—burned for him. It was enough. Why heighten expectations with talk of love that would be doomed to failure by distance and a working relationship?
Michael stepped back, his hands dropping to his sides as he did so. “You don’t care how I feel about you? Is that it?”
“Of course I care. I’m trying to be realistic. That’s all. Why are you angry? Is this the first time a woman has wanted your body with no strings attached?”
“It’s the first time a woman has been so blunt about it. Is that honestly what you want? A body—”
“—your body,” she corrected, trying to lighten him up.
“My body, with no strings attached?” he asked, adding, “You’re willing to go to bed with me, then let me walk out of here as if nothing more had passed between us than a good-night kiss? You could do that?” He tilted his dark head and looked down at her.
“It’s an offer most men wouldn’t refuse.” She was beginning to feel on shaky ground.
“I’m not most men,” he stated flatly.
“And I’m not most women. I won’t ask for—or give—vows of love when none are required.”
“They’re required.” He gripped her waist and pulled her closer.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I won’t give you my body unless you love me.” A grin played around Michael’s mouth.
“Are you crazy? Men aren’t like that.”
“Men aren’t like what, exactly?” he said, running his hands up her sides. “Men don’t need honest affection? Men don’t care who they make love to as long as they make love? Men never pass up an opportunity no matter how questionable? Is that what you’re saying?”
“You’re trying to tell me none of that is true?”
“No.” He shrugged. “Sometimes members of my sex do hit some low notes, but some of us occasionally asp
ire to something higher.”
Nikki snorted her reply. “Like you, right now, I suppose?”
“Exactly. Why should I satisfy your sexual urges at the expense of my self-respect.”
“You’re kidding. You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Dead serious. You may want me only for my skill in bed—”
“Skill? That I wouldn’t know, as you’re apparently not about to let me find out if you have any,” she said, acutely conscious of his broad palms grazing the sides of her breasts.
He went on as though she hadn’t spoken. “... but I want more than that. I’ve wanted more since I first saw you battling that mountain, but you’re such a stubborn little witch, you never gave me the chance to tell you.”
“All right. I’m giving you the chance now. Tell me. What do you want from me? It’s obviously not my body. You’ve already turned that down. So, what is it?”
Michael brought his hands to rest on her waist, pulled a little away, and looked down at her. “I want your trust, that before anything. Then I want your love. All of it, with no reservations. I want you to love me fully, completely—the way I love you. I want to be first in your life.” He lifted her face to his with his knuckles. “You must know how I feel about you, Nikki. You can’t be so blind you don’t see how much I love you.” The intensity of Michael’s emotion was in his words and on his face.
She stared at him. “You’re serious.” She stated in absolute shock.
“Very serious.” His eyes would not, could not release her.
Nikki experienced a sharp, involuntary intake of breath. Michael was holding her, Michael loved her! Was it possible, what he’d said that night in his hotel room? That neither of them need lose? It wasn’t right, she thought, it isn’t time for love. What did his love mean? Happiness? A life together? She couldn’t answer, nor could she so easily abandon all her reservations, but she did feel the slow growth of a new confidence.
“That’s a tall order,” she finally answered.
“I know, but I won’t settle for less. I can’t. Not with you.”
I love you. Three short words. Words she had never said before. Words that would change her life forever. She looked into his eyes, into the source of him. His gaze never wavered. He had to be teasing her, he had to be!
“How about if I love you enough for now—for tonight. Will that do?” Easy banter. She was a master of it. Still, her voice wasn’t quite as steady as she’d have liked.
He studied her long and hard. “I guess it will have to. Right now I’m a little low in the willpower department.” He stroked a thumb over her lower lip. “And the trust? What about the trust?”
“Don’t get greedy. I’ll have to work on that.” She gave him a shaky smile.
He smiled back, his curved lips hovering over hers. “We’ll work on it together.” He intended a light kiss to seal their bargain, but it proved impossible. When the kiss started to deepen, Nikki pushed him from her and looked into the deep green of his eyes.
“Well?” was all she asked.
She grinned at his puzzled look.
“Now can I have your precious body? Maybe experience some of that skill you were bragging about earlier?”
He rewarded her with a slow, seductive smile. “You gave me a dinner I’ll never forget. I’ll do my best to give you a night to remember. Although it would be easier if we weren’t in a doorway.”
Nikki slipped off his jacket and took his hand. “Right this way, sir.” As she led him to the bedroom, she looked back at him over her shoulder. “And don’t forget to bring that leaping libido.”
There was little chance of that, Michael thought as he watched the sway of her hips, although controlling it might be a problem.
Except for the point of light coming from the half-opened bathroom door, her bedroom was dark. Michael glanced around the room only long enough to locate the bed. A bed swathed in white with a mound of odd-shaped cushions at its head.
He turned back to look at Nikki, smiled as she needlessly closed the door behind them. Unless he missed his guess, the lady had a bad case of pre-lovemaking jitters.
***
Nikki had used up all her bravado to get this far. When they reached the bedroom, she started to panic. She had never had a man in her bedroom before, and the strangeness of it made her tense. What she wanted more than anything was for Michael to take her in his arms again. Everything was all right when he held her.
As if recognizing her need, he reached for her, pulled her close against him as though he would never release her. She could feel the potency of his arousal, yet he held her gently, letting his desire warm her, ready her for what she knew would come. She pressed closer, wanting her hips flush against his.
“Just a minute.” Michael took a breath and held her from him. Turning her around, he removed the silken loop holding her hair. His fingers coursed their way through its length, separating then spraying the strands across her back.
His hands grasped her shoulders to pull her back to his chest, and he whispered through the mane of hair, “I’ve wanted to do that since I found you.”
The honesty of his desire bolstered her courage and she turned to face him. “There are a few things I’ve wanted to do to you, too.”
He cocked a questioning brow and grinned.
Nikki studied him for a moment as though looking at a banquet and not quite knowing where to start.
“You’re going to have to help,” she said, hands on her hips now.
“Name it.” He smiled down at her.
“We could start with the sweater. It has to go.”
Michael peeled off the black cashmere in one clean stroke and dropped it at his feet.
“Done. Anything else?”
“I’ll take it from here.” Nikki had never been so bold with a man. She wanted to be bold, wanted to be free of inhibitions and fears. More than anything she wanted to be an equal, giving partner in this act of love.
Nikki moved back to him and ran her hands across the soft cotton shirt that covered his chest, then down to where it met the waistband of his slacks. She undid his belt and the button on his slacks and pulled his shirt free. She unbuttoned his shirt from the bottom up, pausing occasionally to run her hands over his tight, hard midriff. Only when she undid the last button, and pushed the shirt from his shoulders, did she look up and into his eyes, letting her hands roam and explore his taut muscles. His chest was wider, more powerful than she expected.
She ran her hands flat through the curling hair on his chest, feeling it spring and wrap around her fingers. She touched one then the other of his smooth male nipples. They stiffened under her touch and she kissed them. Michael’s chest heaved, quivered slightly, and he took a step back.
His voice was hoarse when he spoke. “I think you’re stealing my moves. How about I have a turn now? I’ve been wanting to do what your T-shirt says to do all night.”
Michael didn’t wait for her answer. In one fluid motion Nikki’s T-shirt joined his cashmere on the floor. He eyed her black satin bra, then ran a warm, curious finger under its lace edging before relegating it to the growing pile on the floor.
His emerald eyes stayed on her breasts as he cupped each one fully in his hand, murmuring, “More perfect than I imagined.”
His thumbs teased her nipples, rubbing until they peaked and burned. A soft moan broke through Nikki’s lips and her head went back, then rolled to her shoulder. When he heard her moan, he bent his head, curled his tongue around each erect, hardened peak. Another, deeper moan escaped, and she pressed his head to her breast, twisting her hands through the thick silk of his hair.
With a fierce movement, Michael crushed her to him, then lifted her into his arms. In seconds they were on the bed tangled in each other’s arms. Nikki nearly exploded with need, her body demanding a satisfaction she didn’t believe possible. Her breasts were pinned against the hot flesh of Michael’s chest and still she wanted closer, then closer again.
With not
iceable effort, he leaned away from her and propped himself on one elbow. “Nikki ...” He trailed a shaking finger from her lips downward, “You’re magnificent. Every part of me aches for you.”
She twisted to his hand, breath coming in short uneven gasps. She reached up to pull him back.
“Easy, my love, easy. We have lots of time.” Michael was determined to slow down. He wanted his hands and body to show his love, surely, carefully. He wanted her to have no doubt of it. To do that he had to control his own hunger.
He kissed each breast softly, then took one stiffened nipple in his mouth to draw on as his hand moved down the flat plains of her midriff. With mammoth self-control he let it rest there, his mouth continuing to suckle, his mind roaring with need. When she groaned under him, his hand moved down to the tight waistband of her jeans, the tips of his fingers slipping under it, exploring, sensing. Wanting.
Nikki’s breathing stopped when he started to pull down her zipper, started again when the job was done. He caressed the newly exposed skin with his heated palm, then lifted his head from her aching, thrusting breast. His hand slid down under the silk of her panties to touch the softness between her thighs. He cupped her, then looked into her eyes as he pulled his hand back, one finger stroking silkily through the core of her womanhood.
His finger was a torch, and Nikki gasped for air. Suddenly it was critical that she be free of the confining denim. Wriggling against him, she lifted her hips.
“You want me to take them off? Is that what you want?” He looked down at her, eyes, dark and possessive.
“Yes.” She couldn’t think of anything she wanted more.
It took both of them to dispose of the clinging denim. When she lay naked before him, his hands and mouth sought all of her. He kissed her mouth, her neck, her breasts, the softness of her stomach.
He was reaching the inside of her thighs, when she said. “Now you, Michael.” She stroked the hard ridge pressed against her leg. “I want to see you, too.” Her soft stroke nearly undid him, but before shedding his slacks, he took out the necessary protection.