by Susan Lewis
Since he’d more or less written it for her, Ellen threw a pen at him, which he caught and looked over with some interest.
‘What are you doing now?’ she demanded.
‘Looking at a pen,’ he answered, seeming surprised she didn’t know.
As her laughter bubbled up again she felt the ease and euphoria of these wonderfully light-hearted moments stealing warmly through her. ‘You’re in a crazy mood today,’ she accused.
His eyes met hers, and feeling her colour rising again she looked away.
‘It must have been a good night,’ she remarked.
He shrugged. ‘It was OK. These things can get a bit dreary, but it was good catching up with old friends.’
‘Were there many there?’
‘Yeah, a few. Not a good show by the press, which was a shame.’
Ellen’s guilt immediately flared, as the publicist they’d hired for the movie had suggested they use the event to get some early coverage for Michelle in the role of Rachel, but Ellen had vetoed the idea. She wondered if Tom or Michelle knew that, though she was pretty sure they didn’t. She just hoped to God Michael didn’t find out, or it was going to mean yet another fight, which was all they ever seemed to be doing lately.
He’d wanted her to go pick him up from the airport this afternoon, but she’d had this meeting scheduled with Tom, which she might have cancelled had she not still been so angry with Michael for agreeing to escort Michelle to the gala. That he’d been unable to make it in the end didn’t matter, it was the fact that he’d agreed to do it in the first place, and hadn’t even mentioned it to her. However, she had offered to send a car to meet him, but, just before leaving the office to come here, she’d been informed by Maggie that Michelle was stepping into the breach. It was why she’d been in such a foul mood when she’d arrived, and the fact that she’d also been told that Michelle had gone to get Robbie from school so he could go to the airport too, had infuriated her to such a degree that she still wasn’t too sure exactly when she’d be ready to leave here and go home.
‘You’ve gone serious on me again,’ Chambers accused.
Ellen’s eyes came up to his and she couldn’t help but smile.
‘I’m not going to ask if you want to talk about it,’ he said, ‘because you might say yes.’
Ellen spluttered with laughter. ‘Do you think we’re going to get any work done here today?’ she enquired.
‘Sure,’ he answered. ‘You agreed the scene was dumb, so let’s talk about what we should change while I open a bottle of wine and pour us both a glass.’
‘But it’s only…’ she began, looking at her watch, ‘five thirty! My God, I had no idea it had gotten so late. Where did the time go?’
Chambers was at the refrigerator. ‘White?’ he said, taking out an expensive bottle of Chardonnay.
‘I guess I ought to call home to remind someone that Robbie has karate tonight,’ she said and, picking up the phone beside her, she got halfway through dialling before cutting herself off. ‘Let them sort it out,’ she said, as Chambers uncorked the bottle.
‘What time’s Michael back?’ he asked, as he passed her a glass.
‘His plane was getting in at three thirty,’ she answered, avoiding his eyes as she took her drink. Her heart was starting up an unsteady beat, and she didn’t really want to think about why. She couldn’t help but wonder, though, if letting him know that Michael was already home was sending signals she wasn’t even sure she wanted to send. But whether or not he was picking up on them was impossible to say, as his back was turned while he fixed his own drink.
Sipping her wine, she allowed her eyes to travel the length of his body in a way she’d almost rather die than let him see. But it wasn’t the first time she’d looked at him that way, because Matty was right, there really was something about him, and he had such an amazing physique that it was impossible to stop her imagination moving right through his clothes and conjuring up an image that was much more to her liking than it should be.
Lowering her eyes to her glass, she took another sip and wished Matty had never suggested that he might be interested in her, because it had been on her mind a lot since, and she had to admit that were it not for Michael she’d be finding him very hard to resist. But, in truth, no matter how angry she was at Michael, nor how attracted she was to Tom, she loved Michael far too much to put what they had at risk.
‘Oh God, here we go again,’ she groaned, as her cellphone started to ring. ‘If it’s Jackie I could be a while.’
It was Jackie Bott, one of the producers, but the call didn’t take as long as Ellen expected, as Jackie and the rest of the team were in the process of staking out their new offices over at Paramount. However, she’d barely finished before another call came in from Maggie, then another from the accountants, then another from Billy Christopher. Each conversation turned out to be as hilarious as the next, as Tom kept insisting on joining in and there weren’t many on the team who didn’t rise to the occasion of his wit.
It was after seven by the time she finally got up to leave. By then they’d managed to hack out half a dozen more scenes and had almost finished the bottle of wine. She knew she’d probably had too much to drive, but she was feeling much more mellow towards Michael now, and a little sorry that she had stayed here so long as another means of punishing him.
Chambers walked her to the door, and opening it turned to give her the peck on the cheek that had become their custom. But somehow it didn’t quite work, as they both made to lean the same way and entirely by accident their lips touched.
Ellen started to apologize, but as her mouth opened beneath his neither of them pulled away. The desire that suddenly flared through her was so intense it was like a pain, and as his lips lingered on hers she could feel her body’s urgent demand for more.
‘Sorry,’ he said, pulling away.
‘No, uh, I’m sorry,’ she said, unable to meet his eyes. Then, forcing a smile, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?’
‘Tomorrow,’ he repeated.
She passed him and started down the corridor. ‘Uh, tomorrow’s Saturday,’ she said, turning back.
He nodded and grinned, and rolling her eyes she made like she was firing a gun and went on to the elevator.
Despite the fact it was getting dark by the time she arrived home, the temperature still hadn’t dropped below eighty, even in the hills, and the moment she stepped out of her air-conditioned car she could feel the heat smothering her. She had deliberately thought no more about Tom, except to convince herself that it had been nothing more than a moment’s aberration and had little, if anything, to do with the real picture of her life. That belonged only to Michael.
As she started towards the house she could feel some nervousness mounting, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe it was because he might be angry with her for not going to the airport, or annoyed that she hadn’t called to check he’d got back OK. Of course, he could have called her, and the fact that he hadn’t could well be a sign that his mood wasn’t good, at least not with her. She guessed he was probably OK with Michelle though: after all, she’d been there to meet him, and had thought to take their son along too.
Swallowing hard on her resentment, Ellen foraged in her purse for her keys and opened the front door. She hesitated a moment as the sprinklers started up in the rocky flower-beds across the front of the house. It could have been the wine, or it could have been just the fact she had missed him so much, but right then, more than anything else she wanted all this tension to go away and to feel Michael’s arms around her as he told her he still loved her every bit as much as she loved him. Even thinking about it brought a lump to her throat, and, making a quick resolve to keep her jealousy and misgivings over Michelle in check, she pushed open the door and went inside.
Robbie was due back from karate any time so she guessed the empty house was down to Michelle, or Michael, or both, having gone to pick him up. She dropped her briefcase outside the study and, half ho
ping that Michael might be taking a nap after his long flight, she went on through to the bedroom. Though his suitcase was next to the bed, there was no sign of him, so, deciding to take a shower before he got back, she started towards the bathroom. It was a shame, she was thinking, that she couldn’t swim naked in the pool and let him find her that way, but with any luck he’d come back in time to join her in the shower.
Hearing a strange noise outside she stopped and frowned, not sure what it was or exactly where it had come from. She turned round, feeling glad that she hadn’t switched on the lights, instead allowing those from the garden to illuminate the room. That way, if there was an intruder, she could see, but hopefully not be seen.
Her heart was beating fast as she moved tentatively towards the window. The security system was off, but there was a phone next to the bed, and if there really was someone outside in the garden she stood a good chance of escaping through the front before they managed to get in. But there was no sign of anyone. The shadows were still, the pool was empty, and all the windows appeared to be closed.
She was about to turn back into the room when she suddenly noticed two half-empty glasses on one of the tables next to the pool. And then a horribly familiar movement caught her eye and as she looked deeper into the shadows she saw Michael’s and Michelle’s naked, moonlit bodies making fast, urgent love on one of the thickly padded loungers.
For a long and agonizing moment Ellen couldn’t move. She simply stood there, staring, unseen in the darkness, unthought-of in the deceit. In those few, mindless seconds, she told herself it wasn’t Michael she was watching, it was someone else. Then she thought it was Michael, but that she was dreaming. It was a nightmare and she’d wake up any second. She even thought that if she carried on into the bathroom, as though she hadn’t seen it, it would be like it had never happened.
Then she started to shake, and seconds later some of the horror of what this meant began to reach her. She tried to resist it, to push it away as though it could be erased by sheer will of denial. Her head began to swim. She looked around and felt so strange and liquid inside she thought she might faint. She moved towards the bathroom then turned away. She barely knew what she was doing as she returned to the sitting-room, picked up her briefcase and went out of the front door.
As she got into her car she had no clear idea where she was going. She guessed it must be to Matty’s. She was numb, unable to connect her thoughts to the pain, or the betrayal to belief. The image of their intimately entwined bodies was trying to take over her mind, but she closed it out. It was too much to deal with. The devastation of her dreams, the total crushing of her heart, were a reality she was unable to face.
She turned into Benedict Canyon and the car rocked as she took the corner too fast. She pressed a foot on the brake and slowed right down. It was as if, by doing that, she might slow the beat of her heart and decelerate the rise of her panic. The road twisted down over the hillside, cutting a route in the darkness between the huge, glossy mansions of movie stars and moguls. Palm fronds etched black across the face of the moon, spotlights glowed from porticoed porches, traffic sped past her. She reached Sunset and drove on to Santa Monica. Minutes later she was heading along Melrose to Doheny. The streets were so familiar; but the lights seemed dazzling as a strange, enervating emotion engulfed her. It was as though she were driving through a space that had no connection with time; that had lost its recognizable features of normality. The edges of her mind were blurred, the feelings inside her were like a force that had detached itself from her soul and was seeking to devastate her heart.
She left her car with the valet and rode up to the fourteenth floor. Her heart was thumping, all her senses, as distant and alien as they seemed, were now honed on what she was doing. She had left the world that she knew and was walking into another that would lead her along paths she was afraid to tread, but was refusing to resist.
‘Hi,’ she said as Chambers opened the door, and she heard herself laugh at his surprise.
‘Did you forget something?’ he asked, clearly bemused.
‘No.’ She smiled.
He watched her walk past him, then he closed the door and followed her inside.
She turned to look at him, her eyes slowly scanning his face, until they finally came to rest on his lips. She felt no need of words, for the air between them was suddenly thick with the desire that had overcome them earlier, and the fire in her loins was a power she had no wish to control. She knew he could read her thoughts, could feel him picking up her need and silently she willed him to use it, even abuse it, any way he saw fit.
Neither of them moved, until finally she began to unfasten the buttons of her shirt. His eyes remained on hers as she peeled the fabric from her skin and let it fall to the floor. Then she removed her bra and let that fall too. He looked at her breasts, taking in their full, creamy smoothness, the large, tight buds of her nipples, moving his eyes over them lingeringly, caressingly, then returning them to hers. She began to unzip her trousers, but moving forward he stopped her. And, taking over, he undressed her himself, while kissing her mouth, deeply, erotically, demandingly, before making a descent over her body to the aching moistness between her legs.
She moaned softly as his tongue sent sensation after sensation flying through her, then she watched as he undressed himself. His body was as large and powerful as she’d expected, his arousal was immense. She moved into his arms and opened her mouth to his tongue. Then slowly she slid down his body, kissing his neck, his shoulders, until reaching for his penis she took him deep into her mouth.
‘Oh Christ,’ he moaned as her fingers raked his legs, found his balls and dug hard into his buttocks. He sank back against the wall, allowing her to bite him, suck him, squeeze him, until he could bear no more. Quickly he pulled her to her feet, scooped her up in his arms and carried her through to the bedroom.
He laid her down on the bed, then stood over her, gazing at her wild chestnut hair spread out on the pillows, her beautiful mouth so soft and red and inviting. Then he looked at her body, and the way her legs were opening to let in his eyes. He leaned over her and gently inserted his fingers. ‘I’ve wanted to do this since the moment I saw you,’ he whispered.
She looked up at him, then her eyes fluttered closed as he began to move his fingers back and forth.
‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ he asked.
‘Yes, I’m sure,’ she responded. Desire was pulling through her with such a force that even the thought of him entering her was arousing her to a point where she’d never be able to turn back, and as he lay over her she opened her legs wide ready to receive him. And then he was there, pushing into her, filling her, pulling her to him, and plunging the huge, commanding power of his erection to the very heart of her.
His mouth found hers and his tongue moved into her too. His movements were so skilled that as he played her she could feel her entire body giving way to sensation. He knew what she wanted, where to touch her, and when to increase his motion so that she cried out in shock and rapture. He held her to him, pressing her to his chest, and carrying her to a place that she couldn’t avoid. Then he was moving there with her, holding her tighter and tighter as he rammed himself into her and felt the harshly breaking spasms of her climax gripping him like a soft, hungry mouth.
A while later she sank into the bed and he lay over her, his heartbeat pounding against her, his penis still hard and not yet ready to leave her. Her head was turned away, but he could feel her breath on his hand, then the wetness of her tears. He held her closer, then let her go as, sobbing, she pulled herself away and got up from the bed.
‘I’m sorry,’ she gasped, ‘I’m so sorry …’
‘Ellen …’
‘No, don’t say anything.’ She was crying so hard it wasn’t easy to speak. ‘I should never have come back here. I shouldn’t have done this. I wasn’t … I wasn’t thinking straight …’
‘Ellen, listen …’
‘No. You don’t
understand,’ she sobbed. ‘Michael and Michelle … I saw them … Oh God, I should never have done this to you.’ She looked at him and a sudden rage and confusion began to tear her apart inside. ‘Why do you want her here?’ she pleaded. ‘Why does she have to be the one to play Rachel? She’s ruining my life. She’s taking Michael and Robbie … Oh God …’ She looked frantically around the room as though trying to find a way out of her pain. ‘I have to go,’ she choked.
‘Ellen! Wait!’ he cried as she ran into the other room and began pulling on her clothes.
‘No, no, don’t touch me,’ she begged as he came in after her. ‘I didn’t mean for this to happen. I love Michael. Please understand that. It’s Michael I love.’ Then the memory of him on the lounger with Michelle suddenly swamped her and she almost collapsed. ‘He still loves Michelle,’ she sobbed as fresh tears streamed down her face. ‘I saw them together … He was … They were…’
‘It’s OK,’ he said, grabbing her shoulders. ‘Just take a breath. That’s it. Now, are you telling me you found him with Michelle? Making love to Michelle? Is that what you’re saying?’
Ellen nodded and closed her eyes as the pain seared through her. ‘Make her go away, Tom. Please! Please!’ she begged. ‘Let someone else play Rachel. Oh God, what am I saying? It’s not going to stop him. Nothing is. They’ve got Robbie. He’s holding them together and … I can’t bear it.’ She covered her face with her hands. ‘What have I done?’ she choked. ‘Oh God, what have I done?’
‘It’s all right. No-one need ever know,’ he assured her. ‘Ellen! Are you listening to me?’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to go. Please forgive me. Please try to forget I ever came back here tonight,’ and before he could stop her she’d grabbed up her purse and was running out of the room.
By the time she arrived at Matty’s the pain and horror was taking her over completely. Her car phone kept ringing, but she didn’t pick up. She was too afraid to speak to Michael, and too ashamed to speak to Tom. It was as though her entire life had suddenly plunged into the depths of a nightmare with no possible way out.