“Do you want to hold her?’’ she asks, surprising me.
“Oh. I… I don’t know. I’ve never held a baby before.’’
“It’s easy, don’t worry,’’ she smiles and leans down to un-strap Hope from her car seat and her arms start wriggling about. Like I said, so freaking adorable.
She gets her out and holds her out to me, and she gently places her in my arms. I hesitantly take her, my arms shaking a little, scared I’ll drop her.
“She’s so tiny,’’ I whisper, then jump when I hear the front doorbell ring. “Oh shoot, I should get that,’’ I tell them, my body shaking. No one ever rings our doorbell. I never get guests, and if my dad is expecting someone he usually gives me a heads up.
“You stay there, I’ll go get it, if that’s okay?’’ Denny asks, and I nod my head, my throat tightening. I bet they think I’m a freak, freaking out over the door being knocked.
Denny leaves the door shutting quietly behind her and Harlow comes to sit down next to me. “You don’t have to be shy around us, Kayla, or embarrassed. We understand you know. We may not know exactly what you’re going through, but you’re not alone anymore. I promise. I’m glad you’ve moved back, Denny missed you a lot.’’
“Denny spoke about me?’’ I ask, shocked that she even remembered me. It wasn’t like I was a memorable person, not unless you count the rumours everyone spread around the school about me.
“She missed you,’’ she answers smiling.
I’m completely overwhelmed. I thought for sure after treating her the way I did before I left she would hate me forever, even forget about me after a couple of weeks. This though, this is just something else. I don’t think I’ve ever felt I mattered to anyone before. Before I can open my mouth to reply to Harlow, the door to my bedroom flies open, with Denny storming in. I’m so surprised by her hasty entrance that it takes me a few seconds to see who has followed in behind her. I look to Denny first for answers, but then my eyes flash back to Max when he storms over to me.
“Please don’t,’’ I shout, jumping back a little, but then I stop, remembering I have Hope in my arms.
He pauses, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind, but then his eyes soften and he looks at me and then down at Hope.
“I just came to see if my niece was okay,’’ he smiles gently and my breathing starts to calm somewhat. My hands are completely shaking as I hold Hope out to him. He excitedly moves towards me, taking the bundle of joy out of my arms, unaware of the turmoil going through my mind right now, or the fact my heart is racing to the point I’m about to pass out. As soon as Hope is safely out of my arms I shoot up off my bed and head for the door.
“I’ll be right back,’’ I mumble, feeling Myles’ heated stare on my back as I rush out of the room. I didn’t even see him walk into the room. Tears fall silently down my face as I make my way down the hall to the bathroom. I feel completely mortified by my reaction to Max. I had the same one when I first came close to Malik, when I went to Denny’s to speak to her and Harlow.
I make it to the door when an arm reaches out, snagging me around my elbow, stopping me. A startled squeal escapes me then I find myself face to face with Myles, and my heart starts beating faster for a whole other reason.
“Hey, shush, it’s me, don’t panic,’’ he says gently, and I find my body relaxing instantly. It confuses me. I find it hard sometimes to relax around my own dad, but every time I’ve come in contact with Myles I’ve felt calm and relaxed.
“I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just that, I can’t help it,’’ I mumble, feeling so embarrassed about it all. I must have looked like a right freak. It wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve all disappeared and hightailed it home before I get back.
“Don’t worry. We all get it, okay? You don’t need to be sorry, or worry about your actions around us. Just be yourself, even if it means you lash out at one of us. None of us are judging you, Kayla.’’
“What if I’m always like this?’’ I find myself asking. Shocked isn’t the word I’d use right now. I’ve never even asked my therapist that question.
“Once you trust us, trust in the people around you, I don’t think you’ll need to ask that question again. We’ll all help you through it, even if it means getting in your space,’’ he winces, looking back at my bedroom door with a guilty expression.
“What do you mean?’’ I ask tilting my head, trying to figure him out.
“Max,’’ he sighs, his cheeks flushing a shade of pink. “He went back round to Denny’s after dinner and found she had gone out. As soon as she let slip where she was on the phone, he was rushing over here. I caught on to the end part of where he was going, so I thought I’d come as backup in case he got too much.’’
“Oh, you mean like charging in a bedroom?’’ I smile, blushing.
“Yeah, that,’’ he laughs. “Are you okay now? We can go if you’d like.’’
“NO! I mean, no, it’s fine. He had just taken me by surprise is all. Hope you guys don’t mind watching Labyrinth?’’
“Ha, I love that film, but Max will probably have nightmares,’’ he chuckles and I feel lighter for just talking to him, so I easily follow him back to the bedroom.
Walking in, everyone is sitting on my bed and I have to bite on my bottom lip when I realise what we’ve walked into.
“She shouldn’t be watching this, Denny. Does Mason know you coerce your child into watching this?’’
“It’s a freaking kids film, Max, and for one, she is far too young to understand,’’ Denny snaps back.
“It’s not good for her. They kidnap a baby for Christ sakes and you want her to watch this?’’ he dismisses looking irritated, his eyes looking to the television before flickering away quickly.
“Because she’s going to wake up in the middle of the night and panic about a hot, bad, Goblin king coming to kidnap her, Max. Seriously, grow up,’’ she snaps, but I can see the amusement in her eyes.
Looking at Max’s expression as he takes in the film with a wince and back to baby Hope, I can only find it freaking adorable. Who thought Coldenshire’s one and only big time football player would be all mushy when it comes to babies. Usually guys like him run a mile in the other direction when the word ‘baby’ is even mentioned.
“Oh, hey, sorry, we’re hogging all the bed,’’ Harlow says, going to stand up, but I wave her off.
“It’s fine. I’ll go get the beanie,’’ I smile and walk over to my closet. I grab the beanie I shoved in the corner by the coat racks, nearly falling on my ass doing it. Dragging it over next to the bed so I can still see the film, I hesitate when I realise Myles is still without a seat. The beanie is big enough for the both of us, but that would mean sitting close to him and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
“It’s okay, sit down,’’ he tells me, and I do, not wanting to have everyone’s prying eyes on us. My palms are sweaty and my heart rate picks up when I think he’s about to take a seat next to me. When he doesn’t and he takes a seat on the floor with his back leaning against the beanie I begin to relax.
His head turns and he gives me that half dimpled smile that has always made me a little loopy and tongue tied. Thank God we’re all watching a film.
The film turns into two and when my dad walks in a few hours later he’s completely stunned when he sees a room full of people. His eyes widen more when he sees Max holding Hope, bottle feeding her.
“Oh, hi. I didn’t know Kayla was having any friends over,’’ he tells them slowly before giving me a questioning look.
“Hi, dad, this is Denny. You remember Denny, right?’’
“Oh, hi, Denny. How’s your mother and father?’’ he asks smiling.
“Hopefully my mother has landed herself in jail and my father is wonderful, thank you. How are you?’’ she asks seriously, and my dad opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish.
“Good,’’ he says before giving me another quizzing look.
Jeeze!
“The baby is Hope; she’s Denny’s daughter. Mason, her fiancé, isn’t here, he’s at work. These are his twin brothers Myles and Max. They go to school with me and this is Harlow, she’s um…’’
“I’m a recent friend of Kayla’s. We met through Denny,’’ she smiles, getting up to shake his hand, which he shakes back.
“Oh, I know, are you Miss Dean’s granddaughter?’’ he asks, and I’m surprised he knows that.
“Yes, Sir, I am,’’ she smiles big before going to sit back down.
‘Sir?’ Max mouths to Myles and I try hard not to giggle.
“Sweetie, it’s getting late. I just wanted to come see how you were doing. I can see you’re fine, but…’’
“We should be going anyway, Mr. Martin. I need to get Hope to bed,’’ Denny cheerfully interrupts, and my shoulders slug a little. Harlow must catch on because she looks towards me and smiles.
“Maybe we can do this again sometime?’’
“I’d love that,’’ I smile shyly, before looking at Myles and blushing. I’ve gotten so used to him being here, I’m sad to see him go. Even when his arm would brush against my leg, or we’d move closer together I’d get these shooting tingles spreading through my body and not the usual bolts of fear that I’d normally get. The feeling is exhilarating. I feel like I keep repeating the fact, but to me, his touch is something I’ve craved for a while, and not just by him, but by anyone and not feel the sudden need to run and hide.
“Come on then, guys. Let’s leave Kayla to get some sleep,’’ Harlow claps as Denny puts Hope’s coat and things back on. Max hovers close by and once she’s settled in the car seat, Max picks her up, smiling.
“Bagsy pushing the pram home.’’
Everyone turns to roll their eyes at him, and my father just smiles shaking his head, but when he looks back to where Myles and I are sitting, rather closely I might add, his smile falls and a concern look washes across his face. It’s weird seeing this side of my dad. He’s never been overly protective, but I kind of like it. Sometimes I wish he’d see more of what was going on under his nose, though, but I can’t really blame him for ignoring certain things.
Anyway, Myles coughs uncomfortably, and I shift in the beanie before getting up. Myles follows and looks to everyone standing in the doorway with smug looking smirks.
“Need a minute or two, bro?’’ Max coughs looking down towards Myles’ legs. Myles coughs, his head snapping up giving Max a glare back in return.
“Yeah, just need to talk to Kayla alone. Wait for me outside.’’
“Son, I don’t…’’ my dad starts, but I interrupt.
“Dad, its fine. Go on off to bed, I’ll lock up downstairs,’’ I tell him, even though I lock up every night. It’s something I’ve accustomed to do since the rape. I’ve just never felt safe and although being alone with Myles scares me, it’s not because I think he’ll attack me.
My dad reluctantly leaves with the others following him down the stairs. It seems he’s not going to go to bed until Myles is safely on the other side of the door.
Fine with me.
“So…’’ I begin, when he doesn’t speak for a few seconds.
“Yeah, so, I was wondering if, um, you wanted to be my partner in childcare tomorrow? Last week the teacher warned us that we’d be picking partners for our essay and presentation, so we needed to pick wisely. It marks most our grades…’’
His pause lets me know he’s finished, but I’m taken aback for a few short seconds before I find my bearings.
“Oh, um, sure. I’d love to. I’ll warn you, though, I’m not good with vocal presentations.’’
“That’s fine, I’ll do most the talking,’’ he winks and turns towards the door before hesitating. “Want to walk to school together in the morning?’’ he asks, and a blush tinges his cheeks.
My face reddens and I know he’s only trying to make me feel more comfortable, but the prospect of him wanting to walk with me to school has me feeling giddy and special.
“I’d love to, but my dad, he um, he drives me. Maybe another time?’’ I ask, not wanting him to think I’m brushing him off.
“Sure,’’ he says and he looks a little disappointed, but I’m tired so my eyes could be deceiving me. I give him a toothy smile and walk him downstairs. My dad is standing near the door looking flustered as he talks to my friends.
Friends.
It feels so weird calling them that. Well, mostly having someone to call that. They all turn their heads our way when they hear us approach and another blush rushes up my neck and Max grins when he notices. My eyes harden a little before I remember what happens when I show defiance. Max notices, and a strange look flickers across his expression.
“See you tomorrow,’’ Max calls as Denny and Harlow ask me to call them. “We’ll all have to meet up again soon,’’ they finish, and it’s not long before I’m watching their retreating forms down my driveway. Well, mostly one retreating form. He really does have a nice figure. His jeans fit him snugly in all the right places.
“Are you sure those boys are just friends?’’ my father asks when the door shuts behind them.
“What?’’ I ask. My mind is still upstairs with Myles asking me to walk with him to school.
“I just don’t think hanging out with those boys will do you any good, sweetie. You need to make girl friends too.’’
“Dad, as much as I love your concern, it’s fine. Plus, I’m pretty sure Harlow and Denny are girls dad. I think baby Hope proves that,’’ I giggle, hoping to lighten the tension.
“I guess, I just don’t want to see you getting hurt.’’
“I know, dad, but I’ll be fine. I promise. They’re good people,’’ I tell him, hoping to ease his worry. It’s not like I’m lying either. They may have been raised by their grandfather and their life before may be a mystery to people, but when I look into Myles’ eyes, all I see is goodness in them.
“Hope so. Just let me know next time you have guests over,’’ he grunts, before walking back upstairs.
I smile shyly back at the front door, remembering Myles’ light touches when we were sitting close together. After a few minutes of blank staring I shake my head and move over to the door to lock it, then follow my nightly ritual and lock everything up for the night.
Once satisfied I’ve got everything done, I walk upstairs, my mind still daydreaming over Myles as I get ready for bed. Going over the day’s encounters with him I come to a point where I know I have to keep my heart protected. Myles has the power to hurt me if I let him in, especially if all he wants is friendship.
Could I have a relationship? Am I really attracted to him? God, I can’t. I feel dirty even thinking about it. No one should have to be with used goods. I’m dirty, unclean, tainted, and for someone like Myles, he doesn’t deserve that.
With that, I vow to keep my heart at a much needed distance. Let’s just hope my heart gets the memo in time for me to go to school tomorrow morning.
Chapter Three
MYLES
Walking into school the next day my eyes scan the crowd for bright red hair. When I don’t see her my shoulders slump with disappointment. I had really been hoping I would catch her out on the field again, but I haven’t seen her or her father’s car since I arrived twenty minutes ago.
I feel like a fucking pussy sitting around waiting for her, but ever since she returned I’ve not been able to get her out of my mind.
Registration is about to start, so I’m hoping she had to get dropped off early, and is already waiting inside the classroom. It’s the one place I haven’t looked since I got here.
Not that we planned to meet up this morning. I just want to be around her, to protect her, but mostly, I just want to be her friend. I’ve missed her. She’s the only girl that has ever gotten me so worked up. We’ve never even dated, or had more than a few conversations between us, but there has always been something about her that has drawn me to her.
When I first heard the rumours about wh
at Davis had done I had beat the shit into him in the toilets. It ended up with me getting my ass kicked by him and his mates after school, but the kicking he got from me was well worth the few bruises they managed to get in. No one knows about what I did and never will. I didn’t do it for praise, but for some kind of justice.
Now, having her back, within touching distance, is killing me. It’s giving me blue balls too. The way she smells when she’s around me, the way her hair shines when the light touches it in a certain way, it’s all addictive, like a drug to me. I can’t get enough. And although she’s still hiding behind her shell at the moment, her personality is one I’ve always admired. She always stood up for what she believed in.
When she first came to Grayson High and everyone took the piss out of her for wearing red glasses, she carried on wearing them anyway. It was the same with anything they took the piss out of. She was scared a lot during that time, but for the most part, she would give as good as she got. I know that side of her might be gone forever, or I could have imagined that whole part of her in my head all along, but the need to help her find herself again is too overpowering. I’ll do anything to help her through this, I can see she’s haunted by what happened still, and fights against it every day.
Walking in I find her already sitting down, Max sitting down next to her with a girl sitting in front of him on the desk. The teacher hasn’t arrived yet, which isn’t uncommon with the new teacher, but seeing Kayla sitting there looking uncomfortable and sad, does something to me inside. I rub at my chest trying to erase the sudden pain that’s shifted there and take a step towards her. On a closer inspection, I notice she has bags under her eyes and that they’re are swollen from crying from the looks of it. I want to reach out and ask what’s wrong, but the way her eyes flicker uncomfortably towards Max and the girl sitting on our desk, tells me that won’t be such a good idea.
Fuck, Max and his fucking fuck buddies.
Myles (Carter Brother#3) Page 3