When I first met you, I was in a bad place. I was lonely, bullied, and friendless. Then you came into my life and I felt like I was the most popular girl in school. You have this thing about you that draws people to you. You’re kind to the point I think you’ll be posted on YouTube one day for helping a snail across the road just to make sure it made it safely. I’m laughing (okay wheezing) writing this.
You’re gentle, loving, superstitious, you love the same programmes I do, and you hate horror movies just as much as I do. You’re also the most genuine person anyone can meet. I was lucky to have you in my life and it killed me when I watched you slowly killing yourself and I don’t want to see that again, even from the heavens.
So all those promises I’ve hopefully already made you make me, keep them, and don’t ever break them. Because my life was short it doesn’t mean yours has to be as well.
I’m also going to ask you to do two more things, and I know your crying and can hardly see these words, but I NEED you to do this for me.
1) I need you to sing at my funeral, because let’s face it, your voice always soothed me, and hearing it made me feel like I was floating, free, and alive all in one. So please, no matter how hard it will be for you, sing to me, just to me and ignore the people who have come to the church to say their goodbyes. Just focus on me. Even better, bring your phone and sing into it, just like you always did for me.
2) I need you to be there for my mom. I know it’s a lot to ask with your own grief, but I need to know she’s going to be okay. That no matter what, she will still have a part of me near. She always said you were more like my sister than a friend.
While everything else is going to be hard, I need you to also do me a few other things, but they’re on the other page. Look at it like a bucket list, not a chore list.
My hand is starting to cramp, so I really should finish this up, but know that I love you. I love you so goddamn much.
I don’t like the thought that I won’t be able to miss you where I’m going, but if there is one thing I do know, I’ll love you forever.
Please don’t grieve for me forever; it’s not what I want. When you think of me, know I’m not suffering; know I do not have to go through another op, another procedure that will cause me to stay in hospital for weeks. Know I’m free, free from it all.
I love you, Charlie.
P.S. Tell my mom that her and dad’s letters are in my pant drawer at home. Couldn’t risk her reading it before. You know what she’s like. She’d have informed the media.
Love you.
I stare at the words, but there just a blur now through my tears. I cry, I cry for everything she’s missing out on, everything she’ll never experience. The paper falls from my fingers and I sob into my hands.
Wiping away my tears to clear my vision I notice the piece of paper that was underneath and I laugh. In bold letters at the top it reads CHARLIE’S/KAYLA’S BUCKET LIST!
I don’t expect you to tick them all off, but I’m hoping you know which ones I’m most serious about. I love you no matter what. Even if you don’t tick any off, but know, I’ll haunt your ass.
1) Fall in love, although, I know you’re already there, just never give up on it.
2) Make love. Feel what s.e.x. is supposed to feel like. You never got to experience gentle, but I believe with Myles, he’ll be that and more. (Make sure you come to my grave and tell me all about it)
3) Tell someone about your bitch of a mom. I know you think you hid it well, but you didn’t. I may still be wrong, but in the case I’m right; push that witch off a cliff and forget all about her.
4) Make friends. You’re worth being friends with. There will be someone out there feeling as lonely, like I did, that would worship your friendship.
5) Get drunk. Yes, I so did this. I think you’re in a safe place where you can have a drink, throw up and savour the raging hangover the next day. I’ve already told Denny to work on this one.
6) Do something reckless. Personally, I’d like to see you do this one because if there is something you aren’t, it’s reckless.
7) Get a tattoo…. you know you want to. I saw you eyeing them angel wings, don’t deny it.
8) Pull a prank on someone who bullied you back in the day. I have the perfect candidate. Bruce Lockwood. He was such an asshole, and as pranks go, I’d so show people what a little pecker he has. LOL
9) This one will be a hard one. Tell someone about what happened to you. People should know just how much you suffered. People should see the strength that you have inside you.
10) Never forget me and please don’t be sad when you think of me. I want you to smile when I’m mentioned. You’ve got a few weeks to get all your tears out, but after that, all bets are off. You need to move on and not wallow. I don’t want that for you, I want you to be happy.
The last number on the list drives me into another fit of sobs and I fall down onto Charlie, my head resting on her hands while I cry.
Not much time passes when the door creaks open and footsteps walk towards me. Thinking it’s Maverick I turn to find my dad instead, his eyes red rimmed, and worry and concern filling his expression. I don’t know what comes over me, but I jump off the bed and fall into his arms crying. He seems taken back at first until I feel his arms wrap around me.
“I’m sorry, Kayla. I really am sorry,’’ he tells me softly.
“It’s not fair,’’ I cry, still not understanding why God takes away the good people in life, but keep the bad down here on earth. Sometimes I believe that we live in Hell, and when we die we go to heaven, or we just reincarnate to stay down here in Hell. It’d make sense, wouldn’t it? Whatever I believe doesn’t matter because I know somewhere out there Charlie’s soul is floating around looking down on us, making sure we’re all okay. I can feel it.
“The police are here. They have your mother. I don’t understand what’s going on. I had a phone call that you had been in an accident, but the police officer said your mother was involved,’’ he tells me, completely flustered.
“I need to give them my statement,’’ I tell him, feeling like a zombie.
“Come on, there outside, but I think they’ll understand if you want to have a couple of days until you feel up to it. That way I can see to your mother.’’
Not understanding his meaning about my ‘mother’ I shove it off, but a niggling feeling has me wondering if he cares. Surely he knows what she’s done if they’ve told him her involvement, but the way he says ‘see to your mother’ it doesn’t seem venomous in any way.
We walk out the door and Denny and Maverick get up from the floor where they were perched. Maverick gives my dad a hard look before his eyes soften looking down at me.
“How you doing?’’ he asks, his eyes flicking to the pieces of paper in my hand.
I shrug, and jump when a gasp startles me from my left. I turn to find Katie rushing down the corridor, her face flustered and red.
“Oh my God, Honey,’’ she gasps, breathing hard when she gets to our little huddle. I put my head down knowing she’ll see the shame in my eyes from lying to her. I’m thankful when she starts firing questions at my dad and I manage to pull myself out from between them and walk over to Mrs. And Mr. Roberts.
“Hey, Hannah. I’m sorry for the way I acted,’’ I tell her, feeling ashamed by my reaction.
“Oh, Sweetie. Are you okay?’’ she asks, wiping her eyes.
I nod my head, but deep down I’m falling apart and I need some space to get myself together.
“She wanted me to tell you that she has letters written for each of you back in her room. They are in her knickers drawer.’’
Hannah looks at her husband with wide eyes, tears filling them, and I can see she’s torn between staying with Charlie, and leaving to go read the words she wrote for her.
“I’m going to give my statement to the police, but I’ll come round very soon to see you. Charlie wanted me to sing at her funeral,’’ I tell her, not looking at her in the ey
e.
“She always said she felt at real peace when you sang to her, but she would never let me hear you,’’ she tells me, which makes me look up at her shocked.
“She didn’t?’’
“No. She said you weren’t ready for the world to hear the voice of an angel,’’ she says and I can hear Charlie saying that.
“I tried recording some songs onto her phone the once because of our phone bills getting to high from me calling her, but she said it wasn’t the same. I had to beg my dad for a contract phone just so I could sing to her,’’ I laugh, but it’s low, and sad.
“Well, you go and sort out what you need to, and we will see you soon, Darling,’’ she tells me before falling softly into her husband’s arms and silently crying.
“Kayla. Kayla Martin?’’ A deep voice speaks and I turn around to find two police officers standing behind me.
“Yes?’’
“We would like you to come down into a room that the nurses have let us use to ask you some questions. We understand this is a tough time for you, but we need to get your mom booked.’’
“Booked?’’ My dad asks shocked, looking at me with questioning eyes. I look away to see Maverick take a step towards my dad, but Denny reaches out to stop him.
I nod my head to them. “I’ll meet you back in the waiting room?’’ I ask Denny and Maverick sadly.
“Okay. I don’t know if you heard me, but Myles is awake and he’s okay,’’ Maverick replies and tears of relief fill my eyes.
Chapter Twenty Five
KAYLA
We’re in what I think is a staff room. It’s got a table centred in the middle with four chairs surrounding it. A little kitchenette sits along the one wall and boxes fill the other.
The police officers asked Katie to stay outside. They tried the same with my dad telling him they wanted to talk to me alone, but he was having none of it. Because I didn’t want to repeat myself over and over again to everyone, I asked them if it was okay to have him there. They didn’t look too pleased, but I think that’s more to do with the fact they think I won’t speak up about what my mom did, but boy are they wrong. I’m about to tell them everything.
“I’m PC Howard, and this is my partner PC Smith…’’
“I’m sorry, but I can’t see why you have arrested Jessica?’’ dad interrupts, but the police officer asks him to keep quiet until after the interview. Both officers take notes and it makes me nervous. It reminds me a lot of my therapist when we’re in a session.
“Earlier today a call was made from a nurse here, requested by you. From the little information we have, it seems you want to press charges against your Mom for assault, is that correct?’’ the police officer starts, but my dad holds up his hand interrupting. His face is red with anger and his fists are clenched, which is not the response I was hoping for. This is going to get worse before it gets better. Why did I ever think he’d take my side, stand by me?
“Mr. Martin, I’ll ask you again, please abstain yourself from interrupting or we will have to ask you to leave. We need to talk to your daughter and ask some questions.’’
“I asked the nurse to call you,’’ I blurt out, confirming, just wanting to ease the tension in the room. Only it makes it all worse, and it’s only coming from one person.
My Dad.
“Why would you do that?’’ My dad asks me, but I ignore him and talk directly to the officers, wanting, no needing, to get all this out of my system.
“On Tuesday my boyfriend dropped me off at home. I watched his car leave before shutting the door. I didn’t even get to turn around,’’ I tell them, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I don’t remember much, just waking up tied to my bed, bleeding and hurt. She beat me for I don’t know how long,’’ I tell them, my voice rising. I’m angry at her, angry she hurt me, but more angry at her for hurting Myles. He had nothing to do with any of this.
“Have you been seen by a doctor?’’ PC Howard asks looking at me directly. It makes me feel safe, like it’s a safe place to open up. I nod my head yes, before he carries on. “Has your mother hurt you before Tuesday?’’
“Of course she hasn’t,’’ my dad shouts, outraged .
“Yes, every time I was in her care,’’ I answer honestly.
“Kayla,’’ my dad asks. “How? When? Why?’’
“Sir, I understand this is a difficult situation, but we really need to talk to Kayla here,’’ he tells my dad, before turning his attention back to me. “What made this time worse? Different?’’
“I don’t know what made her do what she did this time. She usually makes sure no one will see the bruises.
“She’s taken jewellery of my dad’s, and kept going on about selling it, needing the money. She’s always acted like I owed her, but more so when they got divorced.’’
“And what about the hit and run?’’
“My boyfriend, Myles, got worried when I never text him, or called him back. And we planned to meet on Thursday, so when I didn’t turn up, he knew something was wrong, especially when my friend,’’ I swallow, feeling the pain hit my chest thinking of Charlie. It doesn’t seem real.
“Take your time. You’re in a safe place,’’ he encourages.
“My friend, she’s ill and we’re like sisters, so when I never turned up or answered back he knew, so he turned up at the house. He kicked the door in and found me tied to the bed. My mom was there when it happened, I don’t know how she got out without him seeing her, but she did. He knew about it, some of it, and told me I needed to tell someone. That’s when the car came out of nowhere and he pushed me out of the way. He saved my life,’’ I tell them, my eyes watering. “Is there anything else, I need to go see him,’’ I tell them, knowing what I need to do.
“Yes…for now. We will be in contact to get an official statement. Your mother got picked up just over an hour ago. Another witness on the scene identified your mother as the one from the hit and run.’’
“What will happen to her?’’ I ask, not really caring.
“She will be charged with a hit and run, and will also be charged with the assault towards you.’’
I nod my head understanding, hoping she gets jail time and has to share a cell with some butch woman who farts a lot and eats with her mouth open.
“Can I go?’’ I ask attentively. “I haven’t seen my boyfriend yet.’’
“Just a second,’’ PC Howard tells me before addressing my father. “Could you wait outside for two minutes? There is one question that we would like to ask Kayla in private.’’
My dad looks too stunned, shaken up by the news he’s just heard. I can’t blame him. He’s always hid his head in the clouds. Even Katie clicked on to what was going on with me and she met me for five minutes.
My dad stands up, looking down at me with watery eyes. “I’ll wait outside,’’ he says quietly, touching my shoulder lightly before walking out, leaving me with the two officers. My attention turns to them to notice them give each other a look.
“Kayla, I know this has been a difficult day for you, but your safety is important to us.’’
“Okay,’’ I murmur, wondering where they are going with this. They have my mother in custody; it’s the safest I’ve been since forever.
“Would you like us to arrange for somewhere to stay tonight, or are you safe to leave with your dad?’’
“My dad’s never touched me if that’s what you’re wondering. I promise.’’
“Okay. We will leave you to visit with your boyfriend and will contact you soon to get a full statement.’’
“Thank you. Thank you for everything.’’
“It’s our job, Miss.’’
I nod my head, not agreeing. No one goes into the police force thinking it’s just a job. They go into knowing they are making a difference, helping people.
My dad is outside when we leave, the police officers nodding their goodbyes before making their way down the hall.
“I’m going to go see Myle
s; there’s something I need to do,’’ I tell him feeling numb. I just want to process everything, but my mind won’t stop with its whirlwind of thoughts to just stop on one. I feel like I’m a tornado heading towards a volcano.
The room is silent when I walk into Myles room. He’s in a private room until they find him a bed. When I spoke to Mark, his Granddad, outside, he told me he’d be released by the end of next week, which made me breathe a sigh of relief.
“Hey,’’ I whisper when he meets my eyes. He has bruises covering his face, and scratches from the curb. He leg is elevated in the air, covered in a cast. He has a bandage wrapped around his head and looks like he got hit by a truck instead of a car. “How are you feeling?’’
I can’t look at him any longer, the guilt of everything is weighing me down.
He coughs, making a wincing sound and I look up, worried he’s hurt.
“It’s not your fault,’’ he croaks out as if reading my thoughts.
“Don’t say that, we both know it is,’’ I whisper ashamed. “What have the doctors said?’’
“I’m fine. Just a broken leg, a few bruised ribs, and a concussion from my head injury. Have they talked to you about your mom?’’ he asks, not looking at me in the eye.
“Yes, she’s been arrested. I want you to know I’ve told the police everything. She’s been arrested,’’ I tell him in a panicked voice, not wanting him to think I’ve continued to cover for her. After seeing what she’s really capable of, there is no way to cover for her, especially now that she’s hurt Myles.
“I wasn’t sure… They came to talk to me before. I heard about Charlie, I’m so sorry,’’ he says, his voice still sounding off.
I feel like there’s a barrier between us now, and it’s shifting us further and further apart. The silence between us is killing me; it’s drawing out longer and longer between each word.
“Are we okay?’’ I ask in a whisper, scared to repeat myself if he didn’t hear me.
Myles (Carter Brother#3) Page 28