you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
I end the song on a choked sob. My voice had been a quivering mess since the second I lifted my eyes to see them carrying the casket down the aisle.
Without a second thought I rush down the few steps on the podium and over to the casket, where Charlie’s body is sleeping.
“I love you so much,’’ I whisper, tears falling from my eyes and onto the casket. My feet feel heavy, the same as my heart as I walk away and to the front row where I meet Myles and his brothers.
I miss half the service the vicar is giving, my eyes and head focused on the coffin, hating that she’s there, sleeping and not moving. It’s all that keeps going on in my head and I hate it. It’s the first funeral I’ve ever been to; my mother never let me go to Miss. Niles’, saying I wasn’t family, even though the woman brought me up as her own child. I never expected it to be anything like this, how hard it would be to see the coffin, to know she’s in there, it’s breaking my heart.
I feel Myles nudge me and I look up at him and see him giving me a concerned look. He shifts his eyes over to the front and I shake my head.
“Your speech, Babe,’’ he whispers, and I gasp, horrified I forgot. Mrs. Roberts wanted me to stand up and say something. When I asked who else was speaking she looked sad, telling me she couldn’t, she couldn’t stand up there, she’d break further. I can understand. Just singing the song Charlie chose for me to sing killed me.
Clearing my throat, I stand, giving Myles a small smile when he squeezes my hand in encouragement. I’d prepared a speech, something small and simple, and I had it memorised, but standing up here, looking over at everyone’s tear stained faces, I go blank.
I clear my throat again, before addressing everyone, needing them to know, just know she was special.
“This is the second speech I’ve given in two days, and by far the hardest,’’ I choke out, wiping away another tear, they just keep on coming. Bracing myself, getting myself together I take a deep breath. “I could stand up here for days and tell you how great Charlie was, how beautiful and kind she was, but for whoever knew her will know that already. They will know how lucky they were to have her in their life, to have her as a friend.
“So instead, I’m going to stand here today and tell you what she meant to me. Charlie wasn’t just my best friend; she was my sister, my rock. She was the rainbow on a rainy day, stars on a dark night and the light on a dark day. She was everything and not a day will go by that I will forget that, or forget her.
“I love you, and will miss you,’’ I say, now facing the casket, my hand resting on the top. I hear Mrs. Roberts cry out a sob, and I move quickly, not able to look at her, knowing it’s going to set me off. I shouldn’t have worried, as soon as I feel Myles’ strong arms around me, I break down, my sobs heavy and strong, and I cling to him with all the strength I have left.
I vaguely hear the vicar talking, about what I don’t know, but when I hear him talking about donations going to the British Heart Foundation and Organ donation forms available at the back of the church; I know I need to get my act together. Charlie not only wanted me to sing one song, but also her favourite song she loved hearing me sing.
I get up from my seat wiping my soaked face with the tissue Denny handed me not long ago. It’s already soaked, but it’s all I have. I make my way back up to the podium, the strength I had for today beginning to weaken, my mood downing, and my energy falling too exhausted.
“Charlie requested a very special song, close to her heart, to be played by her best friend, Kayla. Please remain seated until Kayla is up and standing behind the casket,’’ the vicar speaks, just before the tune to the song I’m singing starts to play.
Myles had to mess around with this one as I won’t be able to sing all of the song, and walk Charlie back down the aisle, so we decided I’d sing the half of it before the boys get up to lift the casket, and then I’ll slowly lower my voice until the actual singer starts singing.
When tomorrow comes
I’ll be on my own
Feeling frightened of
The things that I don’t know
When tomorrow comes
Tomorrow comes
Tomorrow comes
And though the road is long
I look up to the sky
And in the dark I found, lost hope that I won’t fly
And I sing along, I sing along, and I sing along
I got all I need when I got you and I
I look around me, and see a sweet life
I’m stuck in the dark but you’re my flashlight
You’re getting me, getting me, through the night
Kick start my heart when you shine it in my eyes
Can’t lie, it’s a sweet life
Stuck in the dark but you’re my flashlight
You’re getting me, getting me, through the night
‘Cause you’re my flashlight (flashlight)
You’re my flashlight (flashlight), you’re my flashlight
I’m a sobbing mess by the end of my verse. My tears soaking my face and my throat raw from crying. Flashlight was the song Charlie always made me sing when she couldn’t sleep. But now that she’s gone, it has such a deeper meaning, she is my flashlight. She gave me hope on my dark days, she gave me light, and she definitely got me through the night and one thing is for sure with her around I had a sweet life, now all I pray is, her ever presence lives on around me, guiding me through all the good and bad times.
I make it down to Myles where his Granddad has brought round the wheelchair for me to push him out with. Mrs. Roberts wanted Charlie’s close friend right behind her when the boys carry the casket back down the aisle.
Looking up, I notice the boys, and Mr. Roberts and his brother making their way to the casket. Her dad is a mess, sobbing and crying, and when he struggles to gain his composure, Mark walks over clapping him on the back and whispering something in his ear. When Mr. Roberts nods, and looks at his wife with a lost expression, I almost collapse. Only Myles must sense I’m about to lose control and reaches around for my hand clutching the handles of his wheelchair and gives me a light kiss. I watch as the men lift Charlie, and I’m so proud of them, watching them carry her like the precious angel she is.
The song still plays in the background as we follow them down the aisle, Mrs. Roberts clutching her husband for support. My own tears keep falling, but I push on, needing to give her the send off she needs.
Even with saying goodbye to my best friend, I know this isn’t the end for us, that one day we will meet again in the afterlife, and carry on being the friends we were.
Epilogue
KAYLA
It’s been just over a month since Charlie’s funeral, and everyday has been hard without her, but tonight has been one of those nights that I need her more than anything.
Myles invited me to our end of school prom, and I assumed it was just a party. You know, a school disco that you can just wear something fancy to, and Bob’s your uncle. But, no! Instead, I was told yesterday by Denny and Harlow that it has to be a special gown. So now, I’m screwed.
I’ve been throwing clothes out of my wardrobe for the past hour, trying to find something good enough, none of my dresses are that fancy. After the attack I made sure to buy clothes that bagged on me, or didn’t show much skin. Now I’m actually regretting it. I want tonight be perfect, but it’s already a disaster.
The door to my room knocks and I let out a, “Come in,’’ sigh.
When Katie sticks her head around the door I’m shocked. I didn’t know she was going to be here tonight. Dad said they had a meal they were going to and was spending the night at her place to give me and Myles privacy. I think the privacy had more to do with Katie than my dad. I could tell he
was biting his tongue when he told me.
“Hey,’’ she smiles.
“Hey, what are you doing here?’’ I smile back. I’ve come close to Katie and love having her around and for some reason she loves my dad. I’m just glad he has someone like her in his life. She is nothing like my poisonous mother, who, by the way, got jail time and is having a psyche evaluation.
“I bought you something,’’ she grins, then steps from behind the door with a white garment bag and a smaller black bag.
“What?’’ I gasp surprised. “What… I… What. I don’t know what to say,’’ I laugh when I fall over my words. She laughs back before hanging it up on the door. I’m still standing with a towel wrapped around my body, and one wrapped around my head.
“Myles called saying Denny called him, telling him you didn’t have a dress. He asked if there was something you could borrow as both Denny and Harlow didn’t go to their prom.’’
“He did?’’ I ask, melting on the spot.
God, I love him. I really do.
“You have it bad sweetie,’’ she smiles and I just nod smiling back. “Anyway, I got you this…’’
She reveals a stunning black and green puffy ball gown. The top half is tight fitted, a metallic green with black patterns. I can’t make out from here if it’s a rose at the bottom with little branches and thorns coming from it, or if it’s just a pattern. I don’t care. What I care about right now is that this woman went out of her way to get me the most stunning prom dress ever. The bottom half is my favourite. From the waist down it puffs out in layers and layers. It has these little white dots that sparkle, almost making it look glittery.
“It’s beautiful,’’ I whisper, my eyes watering. My mother would have made me go in trousers and a top, not caring what I wore. In fact, she’d probably go out of her way to get me the most horrendous dress she could find just to humiliate me.
“Don’t. You’ll set me off,’’ she tells me, waving me off. “Myles said it was a ‘Far Away’ theme, and this is all the shop had left. It’s a little on the fairytale side, but it will work. The woman said most of the dresses girls have been in for have looked the same,’’ she shrugs.
“Thank you,’’ I tell her, rushing over and hugging her, keeping one hand on my towel so I don’t lose it. “Now all I have to do is do something with my hair,’’ I groan, when I pull away. I need it cut. It’s getting too long, frizzy, but it’s the only time the curls stay loose and look like little ringlets.
“Don’t worry, by the time I’ve finished with you, you’ll be fit for a king,’’ she winks and lads me over to my desk where she parks my bum on the chair.
After that it’s whirlwind. She does some magic with my hair, gets makeup to look right on my face, and by the time I’m finished and in my dress I have two minutes before Myles is here. I turn around when Katie finishes zipping the back of the dress up and make my way over to the mirror.
I stand still in shock, not believing what she’s done. My hair is up in what can only be described as a work of art. She’s used my curls and put them into a bun on the top of my head, but she’s also got two plaits running around the side of my head to the back doing God knows what. My fringe has been blow dried to the side, looking full and bouncy. It’s beautiful. I feel like Cinderella.
My makeup has been kept light apart from my eyes. She’s made them look smoky, with a little green eye shadow on them making my green eyes stand out perfectly.
The dress, however, is just another story. It fits perfectly and although there is a dip between the breasts it still doesn’t show off a lot of cleavage. Not that I really care.
When I hear rustling behind me, I turn to find Katie going through the other bag she brought with her.
When she finally grabs what she needs she throws them down on my bed before turning and walking over to me.
“Hold your hand out,’’ she tells me grinning. She hasn’t stopped praising how beautiful I look and if it wasn’t for the fact I have seen the magnificent job she’s done, I would tell her to shut up.
She places a black sparkly band of bracelets on my wrist that matches my dress perfectly, then she puts on a matching ring.
The doorbell rings and I’m thankful we’re finished in time. That is until Katie looks up at me with wide panicked eyes.
“Oh God, turn around,’’ she rushes and I do as I’m told, quickly turning around. When I feel something cold against my neck I look up to the mirror behind my door and gasp. On me she has put the most stunning necklace I’ve ever seen. It has black diamonds as the chain, with a green diamond in the middle, sitting snug on my chest.
“It’s perfect,’’ I whisper, feeling excited.
When she throws a clutch in my hand, grabbing my phone, keys and a bit of money, I giggle. She really is like a mom. She then rushes over to her bag grabbing something before coming over to me.
“Shit!’’ she says making me giggle then nearly choke when she sprays perfume on me.
“Okay, okay. Let’s go before he thinks I’ve done a runner on him,’’ I giggle.
“At least he can walk on the cast now,’’ she winks and opens the bedroom door for me.
Myles doesn’t get his cast off for another four weeks. The doctors gave him another X-ray a few weeks ago and it still needs a little more time healing. He’s just grateful he can get around on his own now.
“Thank you, Katie, for all of this,’’ I tell her before we reach the door.
“It’s my pleasure. You look beautiful. I’ve got to meet your father, but if you need me just give me a call,’’ she smiles before kissing me on the cheek. She moves over to the door and opens it, the same time Myles is just about to knock. He stops midstride and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He’s staring at me with a shocked, or an amazed expression, I’m not really sure, all I know is that it makes me nervous.
Katie laughs before moving past him, waving at me from behind his back.
“Hey,’’ I whisper, when he doesn’t say anything.
“Hey,’’ is all he whispers back, before he shakes his head. “Goddamn, Kayla. You look fucking beautiful. Really fucking beautiful.’’
“Thank you,’’ I tell him shyly.
“Come on, Dude, the parties waiting for me to arrive,’’ Max shouts from the limo we all pitched in for. And before you ask, Max not only brought one date, but he brought three. Yes, three. How the monkeys he managed that is beyond me. I’m just glad only one is riding in the limo with us and she seems the quietest out of them all. But don’t take the word quiet to heart, when you meet her you’ll be begging her to shut up.
“Remind me again why we decided to limo share with him,’’ Myles groans, his eyes still staring at me up and down. “God, I don’t even want to leave, or go now. Can’t we stay in so I can stare and admire you all night?’’
“No,’’ I laugh. “Katie spent hours fixing me up to look beautiful for you, so we are going.’’
“You always look beautiful,’’ he tells me, making me blush just as a dark figure comes up behind me making me jump.
“Hot fucking damn. I feel the need to go ditch my dates and just take you to prom,’’ Max whistles, eyeing me up and down until Myles slaps him at the back of his head.
“Dude, girlfriend, and her eyes are up there,’’ Myles points to where my eyes are and not to my chest where Max’s eyes were lingering.
“Shit, sorry. I get horny when I’ve had a drink,’’ he shrugs, his eyes straying until he hears Myles groan.
I giggle and grab Myles’ hand before shutting the door behind me.
Tonight is going to be a good night. I made a promise to Charlie to enjoy every day like it’s my last, and that is what I’m going to do.
MYLES
God she looks fucking stunning. I have to adjust my pants before we walk into the Rosemary Hotel where the school is holding our prom. I feel like a right creeper. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off her and much to my dismay, neither has fuc
king Max. He’s all but forgotten his date.
Kayla starts to fidget with her dress and I have to bite back a grin.
“You look beautiful. Stop fussing,’’ I tease, my breath brushing across her ear.
“I can’t help it. Are you sure – Oh my God, this is incredible, is that a, a castle?’’ she gasps and I watch her face in bewilderment. She’s looks fucking breathtaking.
When I don’t say anything she turns her head to the side to look at me, and gives me a small smile when she notices me staring at her.
“Why do you keep staring?’’ she asks, the dark blush rising on her cheeks making me chuckle.
“Because,’’ I tell her, grabbing her around the hips and pulling her front to mine. “You look fucking beautiful and I can’t keep my eyes off you. How could I when you look so fucking good?’’ I rasp, leaving her mouth hanging open in an ‘O’. Leaning down I kiss her lightly on the corner of her mouth, the same time some flashes blind us. I turn to the side to see Liam, a kid in my science class, holding a camera up towards us. When he waves his hand, not moving his eye from the camera, indicating for us to pose, I grab Kayla around the waist and pull her to my side. She grins up at me, the same time I give her a soft smile, and again the flash clicks off, blinding us once again.
Kayla giggles then once again looks around the room. For the first time I take my eyes from Kayla to look around the room and I have to admit, it looks the shit. It’s been a masquerade, to a fairy tale theme.
I grab her hand in mine and move us towards the twinkling dance floor. I take her in my arms, swaying in tune to the music, loving the feel of her in my arms. I don’t think tonight could get much better than this.
I was wrong.
It gets much better.
We’ve been back twenty minutes when Kayla excused herself to go get out her dress. We left the dance in the limo, leaving Max to get a lift back from someone else. He was too busy getting drunk to even care we were leaving anyway.
My jaw drops to the floor when she walks, wearing only a strapless bra, and lace knickers.
Fuck me!
“What… Kayla… I… What are you doing?’’ I rasp out, my voice husky.
Myles (Carter Brother#3) Page 30