by Jaye Cheríc
“Come in.”
Mr. Sims opened the door and strode in with his chest forward. “Alex? I need to see you in my office in five minutes.”
Her eyes widened. “What about, Mr. Sims?”
He crossed his hands behind his back. “We’ve decided to make some changes around here. You need to be aware of them.”
What kind of changes? Alex wracked her brain. The changes didn’t sound good. Yet, she couldn’t imagine why they would be bad. Her team’s numbers were better than ever. The job fair had produced many new hires. Their placement numbers had improved. Are they firing me? No, there is no way.
She nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“Good. See you in five.”
He exited the room, closing the door behind him. Alex sat down in her chair and said a brief prayer before migrating to the eleventh floor. As she walked down the corridor, she spotted Dan.
“Sssps! Dan!” Alex whispered. She quickened her step to catch up to him.
Dan turned around. “Alex. What are you doing up here?”
“Mr. Sims came down to my office and asked me to meet him up here in five minutes.”
“Same here.” Dan shot their boss’s door a worried expression. “What do you think this is about?”
Alex bit her lip. “I don’t know. No clue. I was hoping you might know.”
He shook his head. “This sucks. Do you think we’re getting canned?”
This time, Alex shook her head. The sharp pain in her right temple returned and she rubbed the spot. “It doesn’t make sense.”
Mr. Sims opened the door. He raised his eyebrows when he saw Alex and Dan standing at his threshold. “I was about to go looking for you two.”
Both forced a nervous laugh. “We’re here and ready when you are, Mr. Sims,” Alex said.
Their boss moved to the side and allowed them to set foot onto his thick carpet. Alex immediately saw the president of the agency, Mr. William Stanley, and board member, Mr. Sam McIntosh, in the room. She glanced Dan’s way and saw her uneasy feelings reflected on his face. OMG.
Despite the twinge of pain in her head, Alex forced her signature confidence to kick in. “Good morning, Mr. Stanley. Mr. McIntosh.”
“Morning, Alex. Please. Have a seat.” Mr. Stanley motioned toward the chairs across from Mr. Sims’ executive chair, which he temporarily occupied.
For a second, no one spoke and the only thing she could hear was the sound of Dan’s pants rubbing back and forth from him bouncing his leg up and down. She wished she could put her hand on it and force it still but that would have looked grossly inappropriate.
“How is everything?” Mr. Stanley asked.
“Great, sir. Absolutely splendid,” Dan said.
“I’ve heard. Our numbers are up twenty-five percent now and, for the first time, we have companies chasing us down to work with our staff. That’s quite impressive.”
“Everyone has been working really hard to improve the placement rates. It’s good to see it pay off,” Alex said.
“Indeed. The newfound interest in our agency has shown us that there’s some restructuring needed,” Mr. Stanley said.
Alex’s head throbbed so hard she had to briefly look down at the carpet to regain her train of thought. “What type of restructuring?”
Mr. Stanley leaned forward, placing his arms on the desk. “We need to shift some people around. Let some people out of their positions. It’s all a part of making the agency stronger, you see?”
Fighting to stay focused, Alex nodded. “Yes.”
“Good. Then I’m sure you’ll understand that our revisions have to start with you two.” He switched his attention to Dan, who sat with eyes as wide as saucers.
“Wait a minute. What are you saying?” Dan asked, allowing a little bit of worry to escape his voice.
Alex ran her hand over the back of her head. Something’s not right. I’ve got to get out of here.
“To accommodate our new opportunities, we’re promoting Alex to Senior Recruitment Manager and you to Recruitment Manager. Since you worked so well together before, we’ll let you guys streamline our efforts to form better relationships with employers. We may even develop a new department around you. Making you the leaders.” Mr. Stanley leaned back in the chair, smiling. “What do you think about that?”
“Whoa! That’s great!” Dan faced her. “Isn’t it, Alex?”
Alex’s response was to pass out in her chair.
CHAPTER 38
Alex pushed the key into the familiar gold doorknob. The door opened and the scent of boiled crabs greeted her. It reminded Alex of her childhood, when crab boils were frequent during the summer. Those times fostered a strong love of seafood, which is why she had to come to her mother’s house. She said she was boiling crabs and Alex didn’t have to be told twice to stop by.
“Mama! I’m here,” Alex said.
“Okay!” her mother called from her room.
Alex went into the kitchen, where the crab scent intensified.
“Are you feeling better now?” Alex’s mother asked, walking into the kitchen.
Alex grabbed a plastic bag and stretched it in half. She laid a beaten pan on top of it and opened the big, steaming pot beside it. The heat rushed from the pot, after which a clear view of crabs, shrimps, corn on the cob and potatoes emerged. Alex plunged a pair of metal thongs into the pot and pulled out three crabs, several shrimps and a corn on the cob.
“Yes. I don’t know what happened. All of a sudden, I had this unbearable headache and it took me out. They let me lay down for a while and a couple hours later I left for the day.” Alex shrugged. “But I’m okay.”
As she settled the food in her pan and imagined tearing into it, her mother leaned over the pots. “The hotter ones are in this pot.”
“These are fine, Ma.”
Alex picked up her pan and bag to move to the dining room table. Her mother pushed back the tablecloth to prevent crab juice from flying on it. She was about to sit down and have at it until she remembered that she’d forgotten to grab a drink.
She trotted back into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. She saw pink lemonade. Alex reached for it, grabbed a glass and poured some in it. She picked up the glass and rushed back to the table to get started.
As she tore into her pan, her mother pulled out a chair at the other end of the table and sat down with a similar pan.
“I know what’s wrong. You’re not getting enough sleep,” her mother said.
Alex shook her head. “How do you know I’m not sleeping enough, Ma?”
“I can see the bags under your eyes. And even when you lived here, you didn’t sleep like you were supposed to.”
“Everybody doesn’t go to bed at nine,” Alex said, sucking on a crab leg.
“You don’t have to go to bed at nine. Get to bed at a decent hour. Midnight is not a decent hour.”
Sometimes Alex swore her mother still thought she was fifteen years old. She took every opportunity to tell her what she thought Alex needed to do, whether she was looking for feedback or not.
Alex opened a crab. “Fine, Ma. I go to sleep late. Therefore, I have bad headaches.”
“Yep. But, at least you got over your fainting spell today. With that big house you live in, God knows you need to keep working.”
Alex rolled her eyes and pushed a thick piece of crab meat in her mouth. “Yep, that’s why I need to keep working. It’s not because I enjoy my job. Only for the house.”
“Umm hmm,” her mother said, ignoring Alex’s sarcasm.
“I’m so happy about the promotion, though.” Alex slurped the salty, seasoned juice from the crab. “I had no idea it was coming. Poor Dan thought we were getting fired.” She chuckled.
Her mother perked up. “Dan? Who’s Dan?”
“He’s the guy I worked with on the job fair.”
“Oh. Did you two go out?”
Alex paused. “Really, Ma?”
“I’m asking! I can ask.”
“No. We did not go out.”
“Why not? What’s wrong with him?” Her mother frowned.
Alex picked up her pink lemonade. “Nothing’s wrong with him. He’s my coworker.”
“So. I had two coworkers that dated and they are married now. I’ll bet you don’t even look interested when you’re around him, do you?”
After taking a swig, Alex put her glass down and turned to her mother. “Why should I? I’m not interested in him.”
She and her mother peered at each other for a second. Alex opened another crab in her pan, while her mother continued to stare. Her mother picked up her Diet Coke and sipped it, keeping her eyes on her daughter.
“Then, who are you interested in?” her mother asked, noticeably less aggressive than before.
Alex sighed and closed her eyes, wishing the conversation would end. “No one.”
Her mother leaned forward. “Now I know you feel like I give you a hard time. And maybe sometimes I do. You’re my daughter and I’m always going to care about what’s going on with you.”
Alex stopped chewing. She hadn’t mentioned her reconciliation with Nathan to her mother. She preferred to wait until the relationship picked up more steam and became more stable. It was never fun explaining to her mother why a relationship didn’t work out. Her mother always made it her fault.
Since she made the arrangement with Nathan, she still hadn’t given much thought to how she would present the situation to her mother. There was no way she could tell her mother the truth. As she sat at the table with her, Alex thought about how to mention Nathan to her mother. Whatever method she chose Alex had to be as careful as possible. Her mother would easily detect a lie.
She remembered when she was fourteen. Her mother told her not to buy a flat iron to use on her hair. Alex went behind her back and bought it anyway, figuring that she could find some clever place to hide it in her room. She decided to stuff it under her bed with a couple of plastic bins she kept there. It worked for a week. Alex came home from school one day to find her mother sitting on her bed holding the flat iron. She was flabbergasted. Out of all the times her mother never looked under her bed, how did she know to check under her bed at that particular time? Her mother grounded her for a week. Ever since then, Alex was convinced she couldn’t hide anything from her mother, which is why she kept much of her life away from her. So in most cases, trying to tell her mother about Nathan while avoiding the “arrangement” would be especially difficult.
Still, something about her mother’s mini speech dumbfounded her. Rarely, did she ever show Alex this type of patience and consideration. She almost felt like she’d grown up with a nurturing and supportive mother. Almost. Struck curious by her mother’s attempt to reach out to her, Alex decided to give her mother the answer she’d been longing for.
Alex cleared her throat. “I was sort of seeing Nathan.” She played with the crab claw to keep from meeting her mother’s intent stare.
“Who’s Nathan?”
“You know Nathan. We dated about a decade ago.”
Her mother scanned the air for recognition until she finally remembered. “Oh! Nathan. When did you run into him?”
Alex shrugged. “A little while ago.” She knew better than to tell her mother that they’d reestablished contact more than two months ago. All the patience in the world wouldn’t have stopped her mother from blowing her lid over being kept in the dark about it.
“That’s nice. I remember you being very fond of him.” Her mother cracked a claw. “Why do you say you’re ‘sort of’ dating?”
Alex shrugged and popped a shrimp in her mouth. “I guess we’re not all that compatible. Sometimes things don’t work out.”
“That’s unfortunate.” Her mother paused. “You should really try to work this one out.”
Alex could feel her nostrils burning. This was exactly why she didn’t like talking to her mother about her personal life. She always had all the relationship advice in the world, even though she hadn’t been married since Alex’s father left twenty years ago.
“Why, Ma? Because he’s my last chance? Because I’m getting older and soon I won’t be able to pull them in like I used to? Or is it because eventually nobody’s gonna want to deal with someone as stubborn as me?” She was so tired of her mother telling her the worst about herself. She wished for once she could let her be.
Her mother took a deep breath. “No.”
“Then, why?”
Her mother stared her square in the eye and let it rip. “Because you’re pregnant, Alex.”
•••
This is ridiculous. Ma is overreacting. Alex had a hard time believing she was pregnant. Not because she didn’t want to believe it; she had a hard time believing that her mother could tell it by looking at her. When did she become Miss Cleo?
Alex pulled her long sweater around her and marched into the cold convenience store. The polite yet stressed look on the store manager’s face seemed to acknowledge that she barely caught the store open. Alex nodded to him and made a beeline to the row with the home pregnancy tests. There were several. She didn’t know which one to choose. She’d seen a lot of commercials for EPT. Then again, she’d also heard of First Response. All they had was a pack of two for $11.99. Why would anyone need two pregnancy tests? In case the first one failed?
She sighed, grabbed the First Response and dashed toward the check out, as a man got in line behind her.
Instead of placing the test on the counter, Alex handed it to the cashier. She wanted as few people as possible to see her with it. The young checkout girl with the nametag that read “Kelly” pushed her glasses on her face, reached for the test and scanned it like it were merely a box of pop tarts.
“Twelve seventy,” Kelly said.
As Alex handed her a twenty-dollar bill, her hand shook a little, which perplexed her. Fear rattled her to the core. What was she afraid of? If she was pregnant, she’d have the family she wanted—at least partially. If she wasn’t, she’d have to try again. But with whom? Now that she and Nathan were on the outs, he probably would want nothing else to do with her.
Why couldn’t he understand? She wanted his loyalty. It wasn’t always clear to her that she had it. That made her angry. So, she retaliated in telling him off. He was good at overlooking things and being the nice guy. He’d forgive her. She hoped.
Alex shook her head to clear her mind and keep from getting ahead of herself.
Kelly handed her the bag and her change. “Goodnight and good luck.”
Alex glanced back at the man in the line behind her to see if he’d caught the meaning of Kelly’s words. Unsure of what to say, Alex nodded and smiled at the cashier.
The time between walking from the store to her car and opening her garage door seemed to take forever. She scowled at every red light and gave the evil eye to every slow driver she passed. When she finally walked through her kitchen and placed her purse in a chair, she reached into the bag for the box. She read the directions carefully while taking quick steps up her stairs. One line meant her life would continue without any changes. Two lines meant she should start looking at daycare and preschools. Alex inhaled and exhaled. Here goes nothing.
She took the test in her master bathroom. Afterward, she migrated to her bedroom to wait three minutes. Three long minutes. Alex picked up her remote control and sat at the foot of her bed. She pulled her legs up to her chin as the sound of the TV filled the dark room. Searching for something funny to distract her, she clicked on the guide. She found an old episode of Girlfriends, where Joan thought she’d met her soul mate. Alex honed in on Joan’s attempt to hide her exchanges with the man of her dreams from her boyfriend. She became so engrossed in the scene that before she knew it several commercials had passed and her three minutes were up.
She eased up from her bed and headed back to the bathroom. Alex walked in only to turn her back to the pregnancy test. C’mon, Alex. You can do this. You have to do this. She closed her eyes and slowly tu
rned toward the test again. After inching closer to it, she opened her eyes and leaned over the bathroom counter. Her mouth dropped. Two lines.
“Oh my gosh!”
Still stunned, Alex migrated toward her room, fell on the bed and pulled the covers around her. She no longer paid attention to the television show. She closed her eyes and allowed a number of thoughts to run through her head, starting with the first.
How do I tell Nathan?
CHAPTER 39
Alex’s steps are slow and languid down the shiny beige and brown marble floor. She glances down at her flats. They look ridiculous but, at 8 ½ months into pregnancy, she needs all the comfort she can get. She returns her attention to the stores on her right, specifically Baby Land. The store’s cutesy clothes and colorful toys call to her. She walks in and strolls down the heavenly lit aisles. Alex fingers the impeccably stitched fabric until a sales associate comes up to her. The associate’s dress glows like she should be donning a halo.
“Well, my goodness. When are we due?” she asks.
Alex bows her head and smiles. “Next month.”
“I’ll bet you can’t wait.”
“I can’t. It’ll be great to see my feet again.”
The associate laughs and Alex joins in. Alex stops short when she happens to glance out the store window. She sees Nathan walking on the other side of the mall corridor with his son’s mother. Alex’s heart sinks as she watches him walk around carrying a drink and talking to her. Their son walks in front of them. Nathan is oblivious to her stare or that she is even in the vicinity. He has the same relatively carefree attitude he always has. It gives her the visual of what his life is like without her. Just fine.
“Alex! There you are.” An older man approaches her out of the shaded area of the mall. His hair is gray and receding. He has slight stubble on his face. He moves quickly to meet her. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“I’m looking at the baby stuff,” Alex says, leaning closer to the sales associate.