My palms are sweaty. My heart is racing. I’m not acting my age, which is twice hers. I need to fucking pull myself together.
I’ve been waiting for tonight all week. And much longer than that, if I’m honest with myself. I’ve been waiting for tonight since I first literally ran into Katie Finnegan at the Marks, Sanchez and Reed law firm. And maybe I’ve been waiting for this night my entire life.
I have got to get a fucking grip. But I feel jittery, talkative, alive. I know we only have this one night together and I don’t want it to end.
“How was your week?” I ask her, which is a question I immediately regret because it sounds so mundane.
“It was pretty crazy,” she says. “I’ve had to listen to Ruby chat non-stop about getting married.”
“I heard that Ron proposed after the wedding,” I tell her. “That’s pretty insane.”
“I know, right? Marriage is for suckers.”
I almost spit the filet mignon I’m eating out of my mouth.
“I meant, more specifically, that it’s pretty insane for Ron and Ruby to be engaged so quickly,” I clarify.
“Oh, yeah, that’s kind of insane too,” Katie agrees. “But that’s Ruby for you. She knows what she wants when she wants it and she doesn’t let anyone get in her way.”
She takes a bite of her salmon.
“They’re moving really quickly on everything,” she says. “They’re getting married in Spain, where Ruby ran off to when she and Ron broke up for a hot minute. Did you know that I’m the sole reason they got back together?”
“Is that so?” I ask her, as she grins sarcastically.
“Well, I played a big role in it, that’s for sure.”
She cracks me up. I love her sense of humor, the sound of her laugh, the way that she talks.
“You’re pretty good at setting people up even though you yourself don’t date,” I tell her.
She nods, realizing the conversation has taken a turn for the serious.
“Have you ever had a serious boyfriend?”
She shakes her head.
“I’ve never really wanted one.”
I pause, considering this news.
I bet she’s a virgin.
Normally this knowledge would turn me off— it’s such a big responsibility to take someone’s virginity and they might get clingy at levels even I haven’t experienced. But like everything else about Katie, the idea intrigues me.
I want to be her first.
But first I want to get to know more about her. Which is something I’ve never really cared to do with any woman.
“So you continually mention that you don’t believe in love,” I say.
“Yep.”
She shrugs.
I feel like a fucking dumbass for mentioning anything. But I can’t stop now. I want to know all about her.
“Why is that?”
She just looks at me, as if she’s afraid to talk.
“Ask me something else,” she says finally, picking up her fork again.
Fair enough.
“Okay,” I tell her. “Why do you smoke pot?”
Now her look is surprised, as if she definitely wasn’t expecting me to ask that. As if she didn’t even know that I knew.
“I have a medical card,” she says quickly, as if she’s in trouble.
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “I’m not interrogating you. I just wondered.”
“All right,” she sighs, as she takes a sip of her water. “I guess I’ll just tell you. I suppose the answers to your two questions are one in the same.”
Hmmm.
She’s stumped me now. What does the reason she doesn’t believe in love have to do with the reason she smokes post?
“I have anxiety, ADHD, I’m basically a big head case,” she says. “You have no idea.”
I have some idea, I think, but I don’t say anything. I just nod at her, silently asking her to continue.
“It’s a good thing this is just a dinner date, as part of Ruby’s stupid dare, because you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. I’m a mess. A real basket case.”
“I see,” I tell her. “You have anxiety about relationships?”
“About pretty much everything,” she tells me.
I sense that there’s more to it than that, but it seems to be a big deal to her to just tell me this much, so I don’t pry.
“I have social anxiety, I get nervous and jittery, I always think the worst about things. I always think I’m going to get into trouble.”
She shrugs.
“Why is that?” I ask her, since she kind of left the door open to the question.
She stares at me.
“Maybe I’ll tell you sometime,” she says. “But this is just a date.”
“Of course,” I agree. “Just a date.”
But it’s by far one of the best dates I’ve ever had. I love a challenge. And Katie is quite the mystery. I’m fucking proud of myself for getting her to open up to me emotionally a little bit. And I know I can get her to open up to me physically too.
Chapter 12 – Katie
It’s only a date. It’s only a date.
I just told Damien that, and I keep telling myself that.
Except I know I’m full of shit.
Who am I trying to fool? Certainly not myself. And apparently not Damien either.
“Come back to my house with me,” he says, boldly, after he’s paid the check— which cost more than I get paid for several days of work.
I just look at him. I know it’s pointless to repeat that it’s just a date.
We’ve somehow moved beyond that. Something has shifted. He knows I’m going to say to going home with him. Even if we both regret it later.
I want him now, tonight. All of him. Inside me. For my very first time. And I can tell he wants that too.
“Katie,” he says, in a tone of voice that drives me wild. “I want to be with you. Just tonight. You do something to me that…”
He picks his cloth napkin off up his lap and stands up. He grabs my hand and says, “Come with me. Please. I… need you.”
I look up at him, amazed at the sincerity in his voice. The vulnerability. It’s obvious he’s telling the truth. He’s driven by some physical and emotional need to be with me. And I feel the same way about him.
“I need to be back within a few hours,” I tell him, embarrassed to admit I still live with my parents. “Please don’t ask me why.”
I had had him pick me up at Ruby’s house, telling him I had gotten ready there. That was true, but I left out the part about living in a parsonage next to the church where my dad preaches every Sunday. I figured that wouldn’t be first date— or only date— material.
“Okay,” he says, although his eyes tell me that he wants to know more. “Just come with me.”
We are silent on the drive to his apartment, pop music playing over the radio. I think we both know there isn’t much more to say. We are going to turn this date into everything a date can turn into.
I am going to lose my virginity. To Damien Hudson, a much older than me billionaire who dared me to go on just one date with him. And somehow it feels just as right as having dinner with him did.
His apartment is sparse and immaculate— a stereotypical bachelor pad. We’re not even all the way inside before he picks me up and carries me to his bed.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he says, as he kisses my mouth, my neck, my cleavage. “You make me do bad things to do.”
“I know,” I tell him, as he pulls my clothes off me, frantically and in more of a hurry than he needs to be. I don’t have to be home quite yet. But he seems driven by some animal need.
“I want to devour you,” he tells me.
Soon I’m completely naked. Then he takes off his shirt and pants and I’m in awe. He has a tribal tattoo on his muscular, toned chest.
He has the best body I’ve ever seen. It’s tanned, ripped and strong. And he has a huge cock that makes me a litt
le bit scared.
“You’ve never had sex before, have you?” he asks me, as he leans me back on the bed.
“No,” I admit.
“I knew it,” he says, tracing his fingers around my nipples like I used to fantasize about him doing to me. Except this is even better. The real thing is everything I imagined and more.
My nipples stand up at his command and he begins to suck on one of them as he gently rubs and pinches the other one.
“Don’t worry,” he says, pulling me closer to him. “I’ll be gentle.”
He sucks on my other nipple, stopping to look into my eyes.
“I can’t believe the things you make me do, the things you make me say,” he says, pulling a condom out of his bedside drawer.
He opens the wrapper and puts it on.
“Lean back,” he tells me, and I lay my head on his soft silk pillowcase.
This is it, I think, here it comes.
But he plays with me for a while, surprising me with his dexterity.
“Your little pussy is so wet and tight,” he says, as he fingers me while playing with my clit with his other hand. “And I love how I can see all of it. Did you shave it for me?”
“Yes,” I admit.
Part of me always knew we would be doing this. Ever since I first met him. I had decided to shave off all my hair down there, and apparently my decision was the right one because he seems very pleased.
“I love your bald little pussy and the way you let me spread its lips and play with your clit,” he says, stroking and rubbing my clit and pushing his finger into me until I feel as if I’m about to burst.
“You’ll let me do anything I want to you, won’t you?” he says, as I feel a rush of pleasure moving through me.
“Yes,” I cry out, as he expertly plays with my clit until I’m on the brink of an orgasm. “Oh my God.”
“Come for me, Katie,” he says, rubbing my clit while looking me in my eyes. “Come on my hand, Baby.”
“Damien,” I cry out, riding the wave of pleasure that he’s causing my body to experience. “This feels so good. I’m coming so much. I’ve never come like this in my life.”
“Of course you haven’t, Baby,” he says, bending down to kiss me. “You’ve never been with the right man, who knew how to make you feel so good.”
He stands up and then spreads my legs open wider, wrapping them around his hips.
“I’m going to fuck you now,” he says. “For your very first time. Are you ready?”
“Yes,” I tell him, as he raises my hips a bit higher with his hands, to get the most ideal position.
“I’m going to take your virginity,” he says, as he slides himself into me.
I feel helpless to his touch, to his cock inside my pussy. I give control over to him and let him do what he wants with me. It’s everything I ever hoped it would be and more. His long, hard cock enters me most of the way inside until it hurts and I tense up.
“Ouch,” I cry out, and he pins my hands behind my head, entering me all the way.
“There now,” he says, filling me up completely. “That wasn’t that bad, was it?”
“No,” I admit, loving the way it feels when his cock all the way inside me. “It only hurt for a minute.”
“And this feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks, thrusting his hips so that his cock goes deeper and deeper inside me.
“Yes,” I say, already feeling another orgasm making its way through me. “IT feels so good, Damien.”
He pushes himself in and out of me until I let go in the most amazing release I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
“I’m coming again,” I say, moaning and whimpering as he looks into my eyes as he fucks me for my very first time.
“I know you are,” he says. “Come for me baby. Come on my cock.”
I writhe underneath him, lifting myself up even further to meet the heat of his body as I come and to feel his entire cock as far inside me as I can.
“This is the best feeling I’ve ever had,” I tell him, without even thinking about what I’m saying.
“Good, baby,” he says, pumping himself in and out of me. “I love to make you feel good. I love to fuck you.”
“I love it when you fuck me too,” I say, completely surrendering to the feeling of him inside me. Filling up a void I didn’t even know was there. Not wanting him to ever stop.
I wish this dinner date wasn’t just a dare and that it could go on forever. Because now that I’ve had Damien’s cock inside me I’m completely and utterly hooked.
Chapter 13– Damien
I look down at Katie’s beautiful, curvy body and my cock in her wet and eager pussy. I can’t believe I’m fucking her. This is like a dream come true.
I want to keep going, to fuck her until I come but I’m not done making her feel good yet. I want her first time to be amazing, especially because it might be all we have together.
I get down on my hands and knees and pull her pussy up close to my face. I love how pink and swollen her clit looks from the way I was rubbing it. I love that it’s engorged for me.
I kiss and then suck on it gently, teasing her with my tongue.
“Oh my God, Damien,” she groans. “That feels so fucking good.”
Then I bite down gently on it, inserting a finger inside her as I do so. I bite and lick, bite and lick until she’s moaning and groaning and pulling herself away from a little bit.
“I’m going to come,” she says. “How can I be coming so many times?”
I feel her entire body shake as I suck on her clit until she comes in my mouth. I play with her perfect nipples while tasting her pussy juices.
She moves further back away from me, saying, “It’s so sensitive. It kind of almost hurts. But it feels so good.”
“I know,” I tell her, scooping her up into arms. There’s no time for a break. It’s my turn now.
I pick her up and carry her, pinning her against the wall by her arms and then forcing my hard cock into her tight pussy again.
“Oh my God,” she calls out. “How do you know what to do to me?”
I just do, I think, as I ram myself in and out of her.
I love that I’m popping her cherry and I love that she’s enjoying it so much. I can feel my cock throbbing inside her and I feel as though I’m about to lose all control.
That’s all right with me though because I feel strong and powerful, holding her up against the wall and pounding her with my cock while she cries out, “Damien, Damien, Damien.”
“You’re my slutty little girl and I just took your virginity,” I tell her, as my cock pulses inside her. “Now you’re making me come because you let me do what I wanted to you.”
“Yes, Damien,” she cries out, her fingernails scraping the skin on my back. I pull her hair so that her head rests on my shoulder while I come. I can tell by the way that her breathing speeds up and her moaning starts back up again that she’s coming too.
“That was amazing,” I tell her, looking deep into her green eyes.
I wonder if she’s thinking the same thing I am.
Oh shit.
I want to tell her that I want more. I want to see her again. But I can’t be the one to say it. I’m not weak willed like that. And she just looks at me, without saying a word.
Tonight was among the best nights of my entire life. But now I have to take her home, and I don’t even know where that is. I doubt she’ll tell me, either. She’ll have me drop her back off at Ruby’s and we’ll go back to our normal lives, as if this never happened.
Taking her virginity felt good. But leaving her alone now is going to be so fucking hard.
Chapter 14 – Katie
OM fucking G. I’m not a virgin anymore. And losing my virginity felt way better than I ever thought it would. After telling Ruby all about it and hurrying home, I still can’t believe it. It seems almost too good to be true.
But reality hits whenever I remember that Damien and I can’t see each other anymore. It
was just one night. A silly bet that Ruby put us up to— and I’m glad she did.
Ruby guesses that Damien will want more. But he didn’t say anything and I’m not about to be the one to look weak. Even though I want to beg him to do what he did to me all over again. Over and over and over, again and again and again.
I’m hoping that my parents will be asleep when I get home, but my dad is still up.
“What were you doing all night, young lady?” he asks me, sipping on his rum and coke.
I look at him a bit disgusted. He used to be my world, my rock. I thought he could do no wrong.
“Nothing, Dad. I was just at my friend Ruby’s from work.”
I used to feel bad about lying to him or doing anything that might disappoint him. But I no longer do. Now I know he’s just a regular human like everyone else. And sometimes a hypocritical one at that.
If the congregation knew he liked to drink by himself at night, I’m sure they’d have some few choice words for him. But like everything else, that’s a secret in our house. We must always pretend to be the perfect Finnegans. Ordained by God to be the pastor and the pastor’s family.
I can’t wait to sneak upstairs to read Leonard Cohen’s poetry and think about everything that just happened with Damien. But my dad just doesn’t want to let me off the hook that easily.
“You seem a bit too happy to have only been hanging out with a girlfriend,” Dad says. “What were you really doing?”
And people— including Damien, earlier tonight— always ask me why I have anxiety, I think. I’m sure they wouldn’t want to be grilled by their father on their every move. I’m sure they wouldn’t want to bear the burden of helping hold up the image of the perfect pastor’s family.
“Dad, I’m old enough to make my own decisions,” I tell him, surprising myself.
I don’t usually speak to my father this way. For too long it’s been engrained in me that he’s always right, no matter what. But I feel emboldened, alive. I don’t want to just return to life as normal, feeling depressed and anxious above my every move, wondering if I’m living up to other peoples’ standards enough.
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